Chapter Seventeen #2
Outside his window, the sun still shone warmly.
They were having a beautiful summer and Tobias was missing most of it.
Standing and stretching, he let himself out of the door that led into this section of his garden, the fact that he had glimpsed what he thought might have been Grace while his secretary was discussing drainage having absolutely nothing to do with his actions whatsoever.
The fresh air was soft against his skin, the perfect temperature.
Telling himself he had no direction in mind, but following that which he thought he had glimpsed Grace head in, he made his way out across a wide terrace and down some stone steps.
A gravel path wended its way through neatly clipped hedges, which eventually led him to a less formal section with wide flowerbeds packed full with a riot of colourful petals.
His heart tripped over itself when he spotted Grace, before he frowned.
She was kneeling at the edge of a flowerbed, staring deeply into the foliage, as if searching for something.
So deeply was she engrossed in her odd activity that she didn’t seem to hear his approach.
He cleared his throat to alert her to his presence, but she didn’t hear him.
He stepped a little closer and heard her saying, very quietly, ‘You can come out from there. I will not hurt you.’
He watched her for a moment. Her pink dress was tucked neatly beneath her knees, her short sleeves revealed the pale skin of her arms, and her long fingers were ungloved and resting on her lap.
Her dark-blonde hair was only loosely tied back and as he watched, some of it escaped and tumbled down her back.
He wanted to twirl it around his thumb and trace the column of her spine with his fingertips.
He wanted to sit behind her and let her lean her weight into his.
He wanted her to want this as much as he did.
But she had made clear that all of those things were impossible, and he had enough pride not to beg.
Watching her for a few more minutes, he was none the wiser as to what she was about. Despite her muttered reassurances, nothing emerged from underneath the leaves of the squat bush that held all of her attention.
‘Oh dear,’ she muttered. ‘This cannot be good.’
He tried clearing his throat again, but it made no difference. He was not used to being ignored and the feeling was somewhat humbling. ‘Grace,’ he said, quietly, so as not to startle her.
She turned to look up at him, a spontaneous smile breaking out across her face. ‘Oh good, you are here.’
A small eruption went off in his breastbone, sending a liquid warmth through his veins. It was vanishingly rare for people to express pleasure at his arrival anywhere. Only Charlotte was ever visibly pleased to see him. Whatever it was that Grace was doing, he was invested.
‘Would you be able to help me?’ she asked.
Her blue eyes were turned to him, trusting and open.
In that moment, if she asked him for his house, his land, his title, he would give it all to her.
He turned away from the look, hoping his ridiculous thoughts were not shining in his eyes.
She had made it clear, more than once, that what he had to offer did not interest her, and if his dukedom didn’t interest her, then he was not sure what else he had to offer. ‘If I am able.’
‘I am sure you will know how,’ she said.
He wasn’t quite so convinced. Grace was, as far as he could tell, talking to a plant, and he wasn’t sure what skill he possessed that could aid with that. ‘What seems to be the problem?’
‘There is a bird,’ she said, pointing to the leaves. ‘I think it is hurt in some way, but it will not come out and let me take a look at it.’
‘Ah, I see.’ Why Grace thought he might be able to help with this situation was beyond him.
He could perhaps write a report on it, but that was where his ability in the matter would end.
‘Are you, by any chance, practised at saving small animals? I only ask, because, if we are able to somehow persuade a wild animal to come out of its hiding place, then what will we do when we have it?’
Picking up a fallen leaf, she rubbed it between her thumb and forefinger. ‘We could put it in a box.’
‘Right. I see.’ He glanced around to see if she was carrying anything that resembled such a thing. ‘Do you have one of those?’
‘Surely there must be something appropriate in there.’ She nodded to the house, where the rest of his family and their house guests would soon be sitting down to their evening meal and where he and Grace should join them.
If they didn’t, questions would be asked.
Not of him, as he hadn’t made a family dinner yet, but most likely of her.
And if they were seen coming into the house together later that evening, well…
Grace could say she did not care about her reputation, but he was fairly sure she would not want to put that to the test. ‘Maybe we could find one.’
‘Perhaps,’ he said, although he could not see the wisdom of containing an animal whose existence depended on being outside.
Surely, if it was injured, it was better for it to die out in the open where it belonged and not imprisoned away from sunlight and air.
Grace’s thoughts were noble and kindly meant, but he couldn’t help but feel that they were misguided.
Pointing that out to her might cause their recent accord to come to an end, so he kept his thoughts to himself.
‘I wonder if perhaps you should sit a little way from the bush so as not to frighten the bird. It might emerge then and we can take a proper look,’ he said instead.
‘I knew you would know what to do.’ She beamed up at him, and he was very grateful he had not expressed his doubts.
Her happiness with him was worth more than…
he stopped that thought before he could let it consume him.
Grace did not want to marry him and, while that idea kept hovering on the edge of his consciousness, marriage was something he had always planned to avoid.
It was not as if he could have an affair with Grace either; no matter how much his body might be arguing this was something he definitely wanted to explore.
The woman smiling at him may be a widow, but she deserved better than becoming some man’s mistress, even if that man was him.
She moved back a little way, but remained kneeling on the ground.
Tobias looked around for a suitable place to sit, but when he could not see one, he sighed softly and lowered himself until he too was sitting on the grass, his knees bent in front of him so he could rest his arms on his legs.
He could not remember the last time he had sat like this, not since he was a boy at least. The grass was softer than he remembered, not as cold either.
Or perhaps it was the company that made it a more pleasant prospect than he otherwise would have believed.
‘You have been busy,’ she said, keeping her gaze fixed on the plant.
‘I have.’
‘I bet a house of this size takes a considerable amount of time to organise.’
‘It mostly runs by itself. I have a very competent housekeeper and my butler has also taken it upon himself to make sure he anticipates my every need. I believe, although neither man has ever confirmed it, that he is in a fierce competition with Sutton, my London butler, to be the best one I have.’
Her lips curved into a ready smile. ‘Who is winning?’
‘They are both incredible in their roles. If they ever thought to ask me, which they would not because it would go against their strict butler code, I would tell them that they are both invaluable to me.’
‘You could tell them yourself.’
‘I could. But then I would have to speak and as you’ve probably noticed, I do not enjoy that.’ Except with her, it seemed.
He expected some quip to come in response to that, but she said nothing, running the palm of her hand over the grass in front of her instead.
‘May I say something about your speech?’ she asked, after they had sat for a while in silence.
‘I am surprised to be given a choice.’
‘I am trying to be less… blunt in my dealings with you.’
‘Do not feel as if you have to be. I should prefer it if you were yourself. You may have noticed…’ His throat tightened, as if it did not want him to say the words on his mind.
This was different from his normal difficulty.
It was almost as if his body was trying to stop him from making a confession that might make him vulnerable in her eyes.
He swallowed. She was not looking at him, which made it easier to try again.
‘Talking with you is effortless, but it is not so with other people. I would not want that to change and I fear it might if you started to guard your words.’
More hair fell loose from its binding as she nodded slowly.
‘I have noticed that you are more able to talk when you are relaxed. I do not think it is me, as such; rather, the situations we have found ourselves in are different from your norm. You do not have time to…’ she waved her hand around in front of her ‘… to think too much and so you are freer.’
A blush was spreading up the soft skin of her throat, spilling across her cheeks.
It was such a fiery red, it looked painful.
Tobias pressed his palms together to stop himself from reaching out and brushing his fingers against the heat.
His mind spiralled, wondering how she would react if he gave in to his impulse; a breathy laugh or a short, sharp punch to his stomach was equally possible.
‘I hope I have not overstepped,’ she said when he didn’t say anything in response.
He realised he’d been so busy staring at her that he had failed to respond to what was probably the most profound thing anyone had ever said to him.
‘You could be right,’ he said.
A blackbird, entirely unaware of their presence, hopped onto the flowerbed and began pecking at the soil.