Chapter Seventeen #3
‘Have you always disliked speaking?’ she asked.
‘I do not remember ever enjoying it or not. When I was a boy, Sebastian and I were here a lot. Freddie was too small to play and I do not recall if either of the other two were born. We would roam the grounds, swim in the lake and not return home unless starving. I cannot summon to my mind any thoughts about not being able to speak in those days. Sebastian was adept at building story worlds, so perhaps I was merely following his lead.’ He shrugged.
‘But I do not recall it all that clearly.’
‘Sebastian was an incredible storyteller. He used to speak about your childhood a lot.’
‘He did?’ Hearing anything about Sebastian and his time in America was a gift of which Tobias would never grow tired.
‘Yes. Whenever he spoke about it, it was always summer and the two of you were always up to something. It got so that I believed it never rained in England. The dismal grey weather that sometimes plagues London is always a shock to me.’ She smiled slightly.
‘He made his time with you sound magical. And later, when he spoke of you gaining your majority and taking over control of the ducal estate from your guardians, he described you as some kind of crusader taking on invading armies. He was inordinately proud of you.’
Tobias snorted, even as something strange was happening in his chest, pain and happiness swirling about in a potent mixture.
As much as he wanted Grace to have a good opinion of him, he could not let this false image of him stand.
‘Sebastian was being kind, or perhaps distance and time had clouded his judgement. He should have been born the oldest; everyone knew he was better than me in every way.’
She turned sharply, her blue eyes narrowed. ‘Whatever do you mean by that?’
‘There is no need to dissemble. You have met us both. I am not so proud that I cannot acknowledge his superiority.’ Tobias had never spoken about this with anyone, but there was something about this woman and the quiet of the evening that invited confidences.
‘As the heir and the second born, our father subjected us to the same lessons. That is the first time I truly remember having problems with my words coming out. It frustrated my father no end. Sebastian began to talk for me, which was a kindness that probably did not help improve my father’s opinion of me.
My brother was mathematically brilliant, as you no doubt saw first hand. He…’
‘Sebastian was many things,’ interrupted Grace. ‘He was a loving husband, a generous brother-in-law and a gifted storyteller.’
Despite the seriousness of the conversation, Tobias couldn’t help but smile. ‘Is this you confirming that Sebastian was better than me? Because it surely cannot be you trying to persuade me I am wrong.’
Her smile pinched something deep in his stomach. He looked away and studied the bush in front of them instead, from under which no bird emerged, injured or otherwise.
‘I had not quite finished,’ she said. ‘What I was going to say was that you are very different…’
‘This is still not a compliment, Mrs Wilmott.’
‘Do you know, I think I prefer it when you do not speak.’ Her smile blossomed wider and her whole body wiggled with delight; clearly, she was pleased with her own jest at his expense.
‘Very droll,’ he said as dryly as he could manage. He found it hard not to smile, which was unusual, because it was normally the opposite.
Her smile slowly faded. ‘One should not compare oneself to someone else. It steals joy.’ Her gaze sought his, locking with it and holding him captive.
‘Your brother was all the things that you say he was, and you are different, but that is not a negative thing. You are dependable, thoughtful and kind.’
He tried to be all those things, but put like that, it made him sound rather dull.
He was not the brother who would risk everything by travelling to a new continent.
Nor was he the one who could conjure up a magical garden from his mind, like Freddie.
He also wasn’t the one who could play the piano so beautifully he could transport listeners to another world, like Edward.
Christopher was joyous like Sebastian, a natural storyteller and adventurer.
Tobias was dependable, and while there were worse things to be called, it didn’t match his brothers’ qualities.
Take away Tobias’ title and who was he? A quiet, studious man who preferred his own company.
‘I have upset you.’