Chapter Twenty
Sarah was bleary-eyed as she helped Grace into a riding habit.
The sun hadn’t quite made an appearance and neither woman had spoken much, Sarah because she was not keen on an early morning and Grace because she was deep in the grip of fear.
In the candlelight and basking in the warmth of Tobias’ smile, Grace had temporarily forgotten how terrifying she found horses.
With the prospect of potentially getting on one within the hour, her mind was running through all the possible scenarios that could face her; death at a horse’s hoof being amongst them.
‘Wasn’t it a good idea of mine to insist you bought one of these?’ said Sarah, standing back and admiring Grace in her riding habit. ‘The jacket is beautifully cut and really shows you to an advantage. You said you would never ride, but it was lucky I foresaw this possibility and insisted on it.’
It was completely impossible for Sarah to have guessed at this particular set of circumstances, but Grace was too nervous to point that out.
Her stomach was doing elaborate swoops and swirls and she wasn’t sure whether that was because she was going to be in close proximity to a horse or because she would be spending time with Tobias.
‘You were right as always,’ was all she managed, because that was true. Sarah had an excellent eye for fashion, but she was also someone who Grace trusted completely.
‘Look at you, you are trembling.’ Sarah took Grace’s fingers in her hands and rubbed them briskly as if trying to warm Grace up.
As Grace was already very warm, the gesture was futile, although she was grateful for the sentiment.
‘Are you frightened of the animals, or…’ Sarah waggled her eyebrows ‘…is it His Grace who has got you all flustered?’
‘Do ladies’ maids generally talk like this?’ Grace asked, mainly to evade the question.
‘I would not know. I have never been one before. What were your previous maids like?’
‘They were spies for my parents and once I was married, my husband. I spoke to them as little as possible because I knew that whatever I said would be reported back.’ She squeezed Sarah’s hands, which were still holding hers. ‘I prefer our relationship, even if you are impertinent.’
Sarah laughed, before dropping her hold and moving to tidy up the bedroom where more clothes were scattered than Grace had tried on.
‘I am glad for it, because I have never had a friend like you before.’ Grace’s heart squeezed.
Aside from Clare, neither had she. However, Sarah’s next words spoiled her mood entirely.
‘But even if that were not true, it is as well I have hitched my wagon to yours. It is being said you are going to be a duchess.’
Sarah spoke lightly, teasingly, but also as if her statement were a foregone conclusion. Her words were like a splash of cold water thrown over Grace’s body. ‘Who is saying that?’
‘Everyone.’
That could not be true. Because if it was… ‘Who is everyone?’
Sarah did not seem to be picking up on the anxiety in Grace’s words.
‘The servants, the guests, even, apparently, some of the family, although the Dashworths are a very closed group and their servants are also loyal. However, one of the footmen has taken a bit of a shine to me, and he mentioned, in passing, that the ladies of the family were discussing it yesterday morning.’ If they had been discussing any other topic, Grace would have wanted to know more about the footman, but not now when she was in shock that Tobias and she were being discussed that openly.
Sarah must have finally seen the look on her face, because she said, ‘You need not worry. I am like the tightest safe in the Bank of England. I do not breathe a word of what you say to me.’
‘Well, you can tell everyone this one. I am not going to become a duchess. Not now nor at any other time in my life.’ Forget her hands trembling, her whole body was shaking.
‘I knew his family thought he and I might… But I have told them more than once that it is not going to happen, so why they are insisting… And then for the other guests to… Why are people saying this?’
Perhaps realising she had made a misstep, Sarah unfolded the nightgown she was holding, before refolding it. ‘Um, because… he smiles at you.’
‘That is hardly a proposal of marriage.’
‘The duke only glares at everyone else.’
‘That is not true.’
‘No. You are quite right.’ Sarah refolded the nightgown for a third time, before placing it on the bed. ‘But, out of interest, what is the objection to the rich, handsome man who is well respected amongst his peers and all those who work for him?’
‘He is a lovely man. Tobias is…’ Grace was embarrassed by the slight breathlessness to her tone.
She cleared her throat, forcing herself to get control of herself before she began waxing lyrical about a man she had just said she had no intention of marrying.
‘But, as I have said before, I will not take another husband and that does not change because the man has a title, or because he has wide shoulders and strong arms.’ If anything, all those things were a mark in his disfavour.
If she had wanted to wed again, then it would not be to a man who could control her mentally and physically, both of which would be too easy for Tobias.
Besides, once Tobias knew the whole truth about her and her marriage, his smiles would not be directed at her any more.
No one would talk about her becoming a duchess when the duke could no longer bring himself to look at her.
It was all the more reason to tell Tobias absolutely every last detail about herself and about Ichabod.
Once that was out in the open, he would no doubt send her away, which might not be a bad thing, because Grace was sure she could track down her parents given enough time.
‘Let’s fix your hat,’ said Sarah, walking back over to her and adjusting the matching headwear. ‘There, you look delightful.’
It didn’t matter how much Sarah tried to distract her with more talk about Madame Madeleine and her skill as a seamstress, Grace could only think about this morning and what an absolute disaster it was going to be.
By the time she was walking across a pristine courtyard towards the stables she was a mess.
Not to look at, Sarah had done a wonderful job, but inside, Grace was a jumble of nerves and panic, which the picturesque dawn could not quell.
The sun had not yet fully risen and was sending shards of light across the cobbled floor and the air had a softness to it that caressed her skin as she moved.
The entrance to the stables was flung wide open, but there was no sign of anyone around save for herself.
Hopefully, Tobias had overslept and she could go back to bed.
Avoiding him would mean she could put these worries off for another day.
She stopped on the threshold and peered into the stables, but they were dark and it was impossible to make out anything aside from a few dark shapes.
Not sure whether Tobias expected her to meet him inside, she stayed where she was, her legs refusing to take her towards the huge animals she knew to be inside.
‘Is it that bad?’ asked Tobias, his voice coming from within. She blinked, but his shape was indistinguishable from his surroundings. His footsteps sounded and gradually his body emerged.
Her heart in her mouth, she didn’t answer him.
‘If the horses really do frighten you, then we can return to the house and get breakfast.’
He was close enough now that she could see the concern in his dark eyes.
‘It is not that. I…’ Words failed her, because she wasn’t quite sure where to start. The terror of the horses, the idea that everyone thought she was going to become his wife, the awfulness of her first marriage and what that might mean for him.
Tobias did not try and fill in her silence with a guess, nor did he look impatient that she couldn’t speak, and somehow that gave her courage.
‘There are things I have not told you about myself and I should do it. The longer it goes on, the worse I feel.’
Nothing shifted in his stance, but she got the sense that he was watching her closely.
‘Also, did you know that people are talking?’
A slight tilt of his lips. ‘People tend to do that.’
‘About you and me.’
‘Ah,’ he said, his amusement slowly fading away, a thoughtful look replacing it. ‘Well, I thought from the beginning that my family might try to matchmake us. Ignore it, if you can.’
‘It is not just your family. It is everyone.’
‘Everyone? Who is everyone?’ he asked, unwittingly mimicking her own question to Sarah.
‘The whole house.’
‘I see.’ He paused. ‘I do not wish to sound conceited, but what is it about this that is worrying you? Most women do not mind their name being linked to a duke.’ He screwed his eyes tightly shut.
‘That sounded far more arrogant than I intended.’ He opened his eyes again, regarding her steadily, a hint of amusement and some other emotion lurking in their depths.
‘They think we are going to get married.’ Grace could not understand why he was taking this calmly.
‘Mrs Jacobs also believes that there are fairies living in the woodland, just beyond the north pond. Someone, I think one of her daughters, claims to have heard laughter on the breeze, which only confirms the claim is the absolute truth.’ He grinned, one of his fleeting smiles that lit up his whole face and which were vanishingly rare and always over quickly.
‘I am not overly concerned about rumours that are flying around my house.’
‘You are not cross that everyone thinks you are about to propose marriage to me?’
A strange look passed over his face, one she couldn’t read.