Chapter twenty-three
Josephine
To spare Hades from the wrath of his son, I avoid Aedon entirely and head to an outdoor balcony overlooking the garden. I won’t lie. It’s attractive to see the way Aedon loses his shit. I watch him from my spot on the railing. He’s choking Minos out for probably the third time since I went missing. Vivian catches sight of me and takes leave without saying a word. She appears at the bottom of the private stairwell and rushes over.
“There you are. Enjoying the show?” She leans back next to me.
I laugh. “Is it fucked up if I say yes?”
“He loves you.” She lays her head on my shoulder.
“I suppose you would know.” I lean my head on hers.
“It’s different than me and Bella. Don’t get me wrong, I love her. It’s amazing and wonderful and everything I could have dreamed of. Aedon, though, he loves you in a way that’s kind of disturbing.” She entangles her arms around me.
“It is, isn’t it?” I watch him release Minos, who is probably on the verge of passing out.
“It’s perfect for you though. You deserve it. You’re actually happy. I mean watching the two of you out there was so intimidating. Magnificent. Beautiful. Inspiring. The people, oh the people, they loved you. Look at them in there, staring at you right now.”
We muse at the party in comfortable silence.
“Did you think we would ever make it here?”
“Here? Absolutely not,” she laughs again. We untangle ourselves and look out over the garden.
A few couples mill about, some stealing glances at us. The trees are filled with fireflies, and crickets chirp over the sound of the music. The air is fresh with flowers and vegetation. Despite the strange dark party happening inside, outside is full of life.
“It feels like all of that was so long ago," I ponder. "Now we’re standing here. I’m a fucking princess. Kate is rolling in her grave."
“Let’s be honest, she went straight to Tartarus, and you know it.”
“Do you think…? Nevermind.” I brush the thought away.
She reads my mind. “That Killian would be happy for you?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm. Hard to say. I think eventually the love would have run its course. So maybe we would be standing here, sans Killian, any way you put it,” she says thoughtfully.
“How’s Bella?”
“So where did you sneak off to?” She wiggles her eyebrows pretending she didn’t hear me.
“Hades wanted to talk to me,” I divulge.
“Really? Ominous. What about?”
“He gave me a wedding present.”
“No way." Her eyes widen. “What was it?”
It’s not that I don’t want to be forthcoming with Vivian, but this just isn’t the place. We can dissect it later. “An ancient necklace.”
“Sounds like some royal shit. I suppose there will be a lot more where that came from. Don’t forget me when you’re the queen of the Underworld,” she teases.
“How could I ever forget about you?” I laugh. “You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not.”
“Right…I need to tell you something, Jo.”
This feels like it’s going to be uncomfortable, and it also feels like she purposefully is doing this in the public eye, which means it's going to be something upsetting. I pull her head from my shoulder and study her. There's regret on her face, not for what she’s going to say, but that she hasn’t said it yet. I know what it is. It’s a reality I haven’t accepted.
“You’re going back to the Republic,” I realize. This is why Aedonaeus surprised me by bringing her. He knew.
“I want to go home. When everything first happened, Bella and I talked about it. I couldn’t leave you here alone to spiral out of control, and I knew if I had told you what I wanted you might come with me, even if it killed you.”
“You would be correct. Do you want me to go?” The thought of it makes me sick, but if Vivian says yes, I will go. Aedon will follow or he won’t.
“No. What I want is for you to be happy for once. You’ve found that here with Aedonaeus.”
I want to cry, but I can’t. I suck the tears back into my eyes. “What will I do without you?”
“I guess you’ll have to handle all of the extravagant parties without me.” She gives me a sad smile. “You’re a queen, Josie. You’ll be fine. You know how to handle anything the Universe throws at you.”
“First of all, I’m the—” I balk at the thought. “Aedon is the prince. It’s not me that gets involved in that way. It’s him.”
“I've never known you as someone who can just stand to the side and watch shit happen. You tried to obliterate an unknown entity without even thinking.”
“Keep it down. I still haven’t told him,” I hiss.
“If he knows you at all, he married you knowing damn well you’re a crazy badass who doesn’t stand on the sidelines of the parade.”
“We’re going to be separated for the first time ever.” I try to process it.
“Don’t compare it to that night. I’m not dying. We have our own paths we have to walk. I’m proud of you. You’re going to do amazing things.”
“Stop talking like I will never see you again,” I sniffle. She doesn’t counter it. “I won’t see you again.”
“Think about it like this: I’m going to help our people from the inside. You’re going to be on the front lines and give us some representation for once. We’ll tag team it. Don't think about it like a goodbye. We’re already building a clinic,” she explains excitedly. “We’re going to train more people to be healers and bring real health care to the Republic.”
I can’t formulate words. They’re passing by too fast. I want to scream. I want to cry. But a part of me feels fucking relieved. I will truly be free. I take a look at my sister and see the sheer glee in her eyes that she's trying to hide, and I realize that she's going to be free, too.
“I love you so much, Viv. I’m proud of you, too.”
She lays her head back on my shoulder, and I place an arm around her.
“I’m leaving tonight,” she says.
“I know." It’s why Bella isn’t here. Somehow, I had missed the bag Vivian had left in the car, but I see it now. They’re leaving tonight. By the morning they should be halfway to the Republic. “Tell Bella I love her for me.”
“I will,” Vivian croaks. “I’ll tell everyone.”
“Everyone but Cam,” I snort, holding back tears.
Vivian is almost openly weeping and laughing at the same time. The guards that managed to somehow gather around us are shoulder to shoulder, blocking everyone’s view of our tearful goodbye. Just as I open my mouth to say something else to offset the pain, I can feel Aedon’s presence at my back.
“Hello, ladies,” he says crisply. Hermes lounges in the doorway awkwardly, trying to call Vivian’s attention and avert his gaze from the scene.
“I gotta go.” Vivian gives me an apologetic look, hugs me tight one last time, and runs away.
“Are you alright, Jos?” he asks.
“I’m happy.” It’s the truth. At that moment, I let Vivian go. I can lose my shit about it later. Being upset won’t change anything. The fact that I’m happy doesn’t either.
With a sad sigh, I face my husband. Both hands are in his pockets, and a storm brews in his eyes. He’s still pissed about my disappearance. Goosebumps bloom on my skin. I will never tire of looking at him. He’s perturbed and disheveled. My absence really did a number on him. It probably wasn’t right. I know he’s stressed about tonight, but who would I be if I didn’t foolishly run off and watch disaster unfold?
“I suppose you find this funny,” he says, analyzing my face.
I smile sheepishly. “At Minos’ expense?”
He overpowers me and catches my chin between his fingers. “You’re a disease,” he growls, putting his mouth to mine.
“I’ll consume you. You won’t survive.” I bite his lip gently and release it.
His grip turns painful, sending a fresh wave of heat all the way down until I feel the cool drip of wetness return between my thighs. Shit. He presses his body against mine, crushing me into the railing. I suck in a sharp breath and with a smirk he bends down, grazing his lips against mine.
We share our breath. “You’re right. You have, and I have no doubt that you’ll be my demise, little devil.”
His warm mouth is too close to mine—too tempting. Fuck his punishment. I smash my lips to his, and he hums through both of our bodies. We pull each other deeper into the kiss. It’s frantic. He can pacify my grief and feed into my newfound freedom. My hands grip the front of his suit, and his fingers slide into the hair at the nape of my neck, threading in and tilting my head back.
“Aedonaeus, how wonderful that you managed to make it. Careful, sweetheart, he tends to get around,” a familiar voice sneers.
Every time someone says his name it sounds fucking tantalizing. The equivalent of sin and violence. Our mouths hover, chests heaving. Everything in my body screams at me to ignore the voice.
The voice.
It’s a voice I haven’t heard in years. Aedon catches the shift in me. He stands up straight and softens his grip in my hair, but he doesn’t let it go.
“Killian. I’m sorry I missed your grand entrance. I was a little busy.” Aedon’s tone is so demeaning that I might shrink away if he didn’t have such a possessive hold on me.
Killian. The one who told me he loved me the same night I met Aedon. The one who asked me to run away with him. The same man who lied to me and told me he was right behind me. The one who kept secrets and gave me a book that made me a target. Lies. It’s all lies. He isn’t dead but standing before me and addressing my husband.
I get my first glance of him, and I freeze. I almost can’t believe it. Almost. His orange eyes are devoid of the boy I once loved. A different man entirely stands in front of me. The boyishness he once possessed has disappeared. Now his features are sharper. He’s handsome but empty.
The freckles that used to dust his face have been covered with what I assume is makeup. His dark vermilion hair is much shorter, carefully gelled in a sort of faux hawk, and the sides have been shaved and faded. His nose is still a little crooked, just off enough that it reminds you he’s not perfect. He wears a suit that matches his hair color with a black tie. Even his stature is different—poised—not clumsy like he used to be.
“Clearly. Never mind it, I missed yours as well. Also busy,” Killian snorts. His dead eyes slide to my face, and Aedonaeus possessively grips me tighter, sending a searing pain over my scalp. It’s keeping me grounded. Killian starts to open his mouth, to make some shitty comment, I’m sure, but no sound comes out.
I guess wishes do come true. I dreamed of this moment for years. I wished Killian would rise from his grave and find me again by some sort of Magic. I wished he wasn’t gone so many times that I lost count. I pictured us in that stupid house across from the pub hundreds of nights. This is it, and I’m fucking disappointed. There’s no rush of excitement and no nibble of gratitude to the Universe. I’m disturbed.
I lose one just for the other to return. How epically tragic.
What I had always known was that Killian was a keeper of secrets. Turns out he is also a better liar than I originally believed. His body, full of life and standing in front of me, doesn’t shock me in a good way. He looks like he’s seen a ghost. I’m looking directly at one.
“Jo?” His voice is a whisper in the breeze.
“Hello, again, Killy.” The rage, the grief, and the years of torment finally surge to the surface, and time moves forward. “What a surprise to find you here.”
“How…I-Wh-I…How do you know Aedonaeus?” he stammers. His tone is full of betrayal, but I’m not the one who did the double crossing.
“My oh my, what do we have here?” A voice like nails on a chalkboard emerges from behind Killian.
It’s attached to a waspy woman. She’s tall and skinny, sort of like a scarecrow. Her black hair is wispy and thin. Even her skin is made of tissues, blue veins creep underneath. She’s pretty, but in a way that reminds you of the beauty of a gory death. She has a long nose and high cheekbones. Her face is stuck in a permanent sneer.
The woman wears a dress to match Killian’s suit. Dark vermilion with black spiky jewelry. There's altogether too much lace, and it isn’t flattering. No ass, no tits, and a personality that screams whiny bitch. I know who she is. This is Eris, the goddess of strife, and she's chosen to grace us with her presence.
“The prince and his date,” Killian recovers, looking down at the ground. Like he wasn’t just talking shit exactly five seconds ago. Eris hardly acknowledges that he said anything at all.
“Eris, this is my wife, Princess Josephine.” A hurricane rages in Aedon’s eyes, and it’s so chaotic that I almost miss the word he said. The thing he called me. Wife. Fuck yes, I’m his wife. I’m the goddamn princess of the Underworld. Look at me now, Killian.
Killian’s eyes flip between us frantically, and his brow furrows. “Wife?”
“Princess?” Eris clutches her chest and asks dramatically. “Aedonaeus, you’ve been married? You poor soul. I knew your father had spoken of getting you a dutiful wife, but I didn’t know she would be this bland.”
I am fully fucking triggered. Aedon’s hand slides out of my hair and rests on the back of my neck. My skin tingles where he touches me. He manages to separate a strand of hair and wrap it around his finger until I can feel the piercing pain. I try to remember his directions. Don’t engage Eris directly, she just likes to cause problems.
“Eris, I don’t—” Killian begins. With one sharp look from her he shuts his mouth.
Wow. He spent years talking over me, and she gives him one look and he goes silent.
“I would offer my own hand if it wasn’t too late,” she continues, giving me a disgusted look. Aedon can’t stop me.
“Who is she, Aedon? I don’t believe I've ever heard of her?” I ask with full sincerity. “Oh! She sort of looks like a wraith! No one told me this was a costume party.”
The corners of Aedon’s mouth turn up into that sexy smirk. I’ve done well, I think. Killian’s eyes are bulging out of his head, and his face is turning red trying to contain laughter. I wish it was from suffocation.
“A mouth on her, I see. Hopefully it’s good for more than pretty words.” She gives me a snarling grin.
“Watch your words, Erie. I mean Eris. Forgive me, my head is in the clouds. Love will do that to you. I’m sure you understand. Congratulations, by the way,” Aedon admonishes her smoothly.
I almost forgot Eris is engaged. It’s Killian. All this time I’ve been an idiot. I almost want to laugh in exasperation.
“I see you marked the girl like property. I guess you didn’t want to give her another chance to find an appropriately matched mate when you dispose of her,” Eris retorts.
“You will refer to my wife as Princess Josephine or the future queen, there will be no in between,” Aedon smiles. He’s devastatingly handsome. “It’s one of a set. So they know who to bury my body next to when the time comes.”
Eris looks as if she may explode. “Why was the wedding rushed? Don’t tell me you weren’t careful?”
Stupid. Fucking. Bitch.
You can’t have children in the Underworld. Not really. The only ones who can are Remnant, and only if you aren’t marked. She wouldn’t know that, though.
Before I can act, Aedon's fingers dig into my neck, holding me in place. If I didn’t have him, I may very well have lost my shit. His calm demeanor is menacing, not to mention his possessive hold on me. Hades asked me if I believe in love, and I couldn’t admit it, but I do. I love Aedon fiercely with the depth of a bottomless pit.
“You have always been quite the jester.” He gives her one small chuckle. “I would like to enjoy the rest of my evening with my wife. Now bow, thank her for her time, and crawl back into whatever hole it is that you two seem to crawl out of,” Aedon snarls.
Eris has been bested. She bows quickly, mumbles a thank you, and stalks off. Killian stays in place like a statue.
“Jo, can we talk?” he asks. It’s hopeful to a degree, but with bad intentions. He clearly has a death wish.
Aedon turns back to him. “Excuse me?”
“She didn’t tell you she knows me?”
Fear washes over me. Fear that whatever Killian says next could somehow make me lose favor with my husband. It’s irrational, but I feel it, nonetheless.
“No, I can’t imagine there are many words of substance to say when it comes to you,” Aedon snickers. “My wife tends to speak of things she finds worthy of her words.”
Killian returns to staring at me, except now it’s filled with some sort of nostalgic want. I give him a glare that could kill. I don’t know why he insists on standing here doing this. We have no common ground, and he's dead to me either way. Aedon can feel that I’m uneasy, but he doesn’t order Kilian to leave, which tells me he wants to hear what other bullshit he'll spew.
“If you know her at all you know that it’s her silence that speaks the loudest,” Killian retorts.
I start to laugh because my silence was brought on by being groomed to be silent. By him. Not some magical fucking characteristic that he has secret knowledge of.
“Actions speak louder than words.” I bite my bottom lip, looking away from Killian at Aedon. My husband, the man who can make me shudder with a look and orgasm with his words.
Aedon takes two long steps over to Killian and grips the collar of his shirt, almost lifting him from the ground. “Leave, before I change my mind about sending your fiancée pieces of your body parts for your disrespect.”
When he’s done, he readjusts Killian’s suit, pats his chest, and walks back to me. Whatever beef exists between them has nothing to do with me, but now that I know it’s there my marriage to Aedon is that much sweeter. I’m getting a revenge I didn’t know I wanted.
Killian bows obediently. His once dead orange eyes glow like embers, and I know he won’t crawl back into his hole for long. “Thank you for your time, Princess Josephine.”
He disappears back into the crowd, and after a breath, it all catches up with me.
Killian is alive. Killian is alive. Killian is alive.
And he’s with Eris. I don’t know how I feel, but it isn’t well. I intertwine my fingers with Aedon’s and search for him in my soul. He’s there, but he’s distracted.
Shit. Vivian. If she sees Killian she might lose it. She might not go home. The darkness snaps back into the deep, making me a little dizzy.
“Is Vivian gone?”
“What?” Aedon looks stressed, but also a little confused.
“Vivian. Has she left yet? She needs to be gone. Can you check?” I try to push off the impending conversation.
He wants to fight me, argue, ask a question, or challenge my decision, but instead he grits his teeth, and his jaw twitches. “Whatever you want, love.”
With a gentle kiss to my forehead, he disappears into the crowd.
Panic is rising in my throat, and the nausea is returning. Expect the unexpected he had said. I quickly check the bodice of my dress to make sure the Eye is still there. I stalk down the stairs to the edge of the garden, hidden away. I look around, making sure no one is watching before I pull out a lone cigarette. I always carry one with me out of habit—a way to remember Killian.
A hand with a lighter appears in front of me, and a small flame erupts from it, lighting my secret cigarette for me.
“It’s me,” Killian whispers in my ear. He closes the lighter and puts it away before looking at me with genuine interest.
“And who are you?” I spit.
“Jo, please, just—”
“Princess Josephine, to you.”
“I know you’re upset,” he tries again.
“Upset?” I’m losing any patience I have left. I inhale deeply and blow the smoke in his face.
“This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. I tried to find you, but Stafford wasn’t easy to get a hold of.”
“Stafford knew?” Rage boils out of the darkness inside of me.
Stafford. Fucking Stafford. I was right not to trust him. He let me cry over Killian. He made remembrance toasts in his name. Every time we spoke of Killian, he made it a point to speak as if the man before me was dead.
“Don’t be angry with him he didn’t know. I only kept tabs on him. Now that I’ve found you, I’m going to get us out of here and out of this mess,” he says protectively. “Has Aedonaeus hurt you?”
His eyes land on the name carved into my chest, and he looks absolutely horrified.
“It’s been four years. I am not the same fearful girl you tried to make me be. I’m here by choice, Killian. He touches me because I want him to. He carved his name into my chest because I wanted him to. He is my husband because I want him to be. The only person who needs saving is you because I already saved myself. Don’t approach me like this again, because next time I will kill you because I want to. Make yourself unseen for the rest of the night.”
“Jo–”
I turn on my heel, tossing the cigarette at him, and stomp up the stairs. My body slams straight into the massive chest of Minos.
“Is everything alright, Josie?” Minos is huffing like a bull waiting for a fight.
“No, Minos, it isn’t,” I growl. “Did my sister make it out safely?”
He glances over my shoulder but says nothing. I don’t know if he saw Killian, but I would bet that he has an idea someone is back there in the shadows. Instead, he escorts me to the stairwell and up to the empty balcony. I settle onto a fancy couch and grab the bottle at the center of the table taking a long swig. It’s unsatisfying.
“Where’s Aedon?” I ask Minos, who sits across from me. He shrugs. Aedon is a grown man, and I’m not going to throw a tantrum about him missing if I can help it. Not sober.
I do have a jealous feeling that somehow he would end up with Eris, just like I was trapped by Killian. I brush the thought away and decide that Ten Drink Josie can handle it later. He’ll show up when he’s done with whatever mood he’s in, and maybe he’ll be in a better one.
“Are you going to stand around all night?”
“Yes, I’m going to watch you like my life depends on it.” He rubs at his neck again. A bruise is blooming from where Aedon choked him out. Oops. “What’s got you drinking?” There's a curious look on his face and not a good one.
“It’s a party. Isn’t that what people do?” I take another long swig.
“Josie,” he warns, tearing the bottle from my hands.
“A ghost.” I cross my arms, unnerved. I just want to leave. I might make a run for it without Aedon.
“A living breathing succubus isn’t a ghost,” he suggests. So he did see.
I level my gaze angrily. “He will be if I'm ever alone with him again.”
“How do you know him?”
“Is this an interrogation? I thought we were past this,” I grumble.
“No, Josie. It isn’t an interrogation. You seem thrown, and quite frankly it seems out of character for you. Aedon cares for you in an unnatural way. Hermes and I do as well by proxy, but you've also managed to worm your way into our wretched hearts. Are my questions related to yours and Aedon’s personal security? Yes. But do they also come from a place of concern? Absolutely.”
He’s not lying. I’ve somehow managed to make people like me. Imagine that. I haven’t told Aedon about that night. I never told him about losing my shit. Vivian is the sole witness of that event, but I don’t think that will last forever. With her gone, it’s time to face that reality. Something is brewing inside of me.
“There's something wrong with me,” I manage to say.
“There's something wrong with all of us. What makes you so special?” I like the way Minos manages to downplay bad things and act like it’s annoying rather than something dark.
I clear my throat. “Alcohol, please.” I hold my hand out, and Minos takes a beat, peering at me before obliging. I practically chug half of the bottle from my nerves, and he takes it away again, setting it on the table.
“Tell me,” he says gently.
“Did you know Killian is a Remnant?”
He doesn’t seem shocked, more like he is gratified that a suspicion has been confirmed. His large body shifts. He laces his fingers and sets his massive elbows on his knees, leaning forward. “I had an inkling.”
“Where do you think Aedon is?” I need to talk to my husband. I’m not even sure how to say it. I haven’t processed that Killian is even alive, yet, but Aedon is going to want answers.
“He evaded the guards.”
If he evaded them then he wanted to. He wanted to be away from me. He could even be talking to Eris right now. I stand up abruptly, knocking over the bottle, and the liquor drips off the table. I don’t care. Not right now. Too much is happening all at once. I can’t go outside in fear of Killian accosting me, and I can’t stay right here. I feel the anger and grief bubbling inside of me again, and I don’t want that sort of attention here or ever.
Aedon’s absence is weighing on me, and now I know why he choked Minos out while he was looking for me. I can’t go anywhere, so I head to the fencing on the balcony and lean over it. I scan the crowd for Aedon or Killian.
I’m vaguely aware of Minos placing himself next to me and the guard shifting to make room for him. The shock is starting to wear off and turn itself into expectation. Killian is alive, and while I could change that, I won’t. I could use it though. He gave me the Grimoire and spent years watching over me. He wanted to run that night, and only he knows why.
Could Kate be alive, too? If she is, that complicates things further. Here I was an idiot thinking I could escape my demons. I thought I could be happy. Not a fucking chance. I could ignore Killian completely and move on about my life, but something tells me that would only be a bandage. Deep down I want to see him again. Not because I want him, but because I'm curious. Curiosity killed the cat, but I’ve always liked to dance around death. I’ve made it this far.
My brain feels like it’s melting. There are too many factors, and I’m a little drunk. The first thing I need to do is talk to Aedon, and he’s nowhere to be found. I’m full-on spiraling.
“Where did Hades and Persephone go?” I’ve finally realized they're gone, too.
“Home,” Minos sighs. “They slipped out once everyone got drunk.”
“Lucky them.”
“Car is waiting,” Aedon’s voice cuts through the sounds of the partygoers. My heart is thrown for a loop laced with dread. “We’ll go out the back. You have your own car, Minos.”
I’m grateful to see him, but I’m also angry and nervous. He looks pissed. There are no smirks or glittering eyes that look like they could eat me alive.
“Where were you?” I immediately ask.
“Settling some things.” He brushes a lock of hair behind my ear, still distant. “Let’s go. I’ve had enough of this dreadful affair.”
My body is exhausted. I could have handled Eris, but Killian was too much. He rushes me down the secret staircase Hades had led me through. We pass through the auction room, which is empty. Then he puts me into a car that looks just like the one we arrived in. Once we’re settled and the partition is up, it feels safe. Like we’ve cheated death another day. The tense atmosphere tells me we’re about to fight.
“Are you mad at me?” I ask.
“I’m not angry with you, love. I’m concerned.”
“Where were you? Off with Eris?” Ridiculous. It’s a jealous thing to say, but I can’t help it.
He chuckles and the adoration I’m used to returns to his face. He pulls my head into his lap and strokes my hair absentmindedly. I didn’t realize it, but seeing Killian was sort of fucking traumatizing. Aedon figured that out before I did.
“She’s fucking feral,” I finally complain about Eris, completely avoiding the subject of Killain.
“You are feral. She is a vindictive creature of the deep.” He lays his head back against the seat.
“You slept with her,” I argue.
“Is that what you think I was doing?”
It sounds really stupid when he puts it like that, but I’m not ready to let it go. “Then tell me what you were doing.”
“Jealousy looks good on you, love.” He has the ghost of a smirk, but he’s still in his head running with his thoughts.
“That’s not an answer.”
His features turns dark again. “We should talk.”
“I don’t want to talk right now.”
He sighs and says nothing. The scenery passing by tells me that we’re almost home. I just want to sleep. I want to get this wretched dress off, wash away the night, and sleep curled up against Aedon. I know him well enough to know that he isn’t going to let this conversation he's requested go unspoken through the night. I don’t need him to say it to have figured out he knows. He knows who Killian was to me, and he’s not happy about it.