Chapter twenty-four
Aedonaeus
After the strange interaction between Josie and Killian, I wanted to talk to her. She immediately panicked, which is something that's out of character for her. I've seen Josie angry, and I've seen her upset. I've never seen her quite like this. She wasn’t even phased by Eris. When she told me people were going to kill her, she laughed. This is different. This is because of Killian.
It’s not clear how they know each other, but it could be work related. A past flame in the throes of death. Killian carries out Eris’ dirty work so it’s not a far-fetched theory, but deep down I know it’s more than that. It takes a lot to make Josie disturbed. I could feel her terror deep inside of my soul.
If she thinks I’ll be angry for sleeping with some idiot before we met, I won’t be. I’ve made plenty of my own mistakes. I try to sort through what I know about Killian, and it isn’t much. He’s Eris’ fiancé, but he’s also her pet. I’ve never known how they met, and now I’m curious.
Killian and his pissing contest managed to get to me. He’s a disrespectful weasel just like his fiancée. The fact that he felt he could speak to Josie, of all people, in that way, perturbs me. It was authoritative, something I’ve never known him to be. He’s a coward. After confirming Vivian has left the party, I need air, and I want to be alone. Josie will be safe with Minos. Probably drunk after that interaction, but safe, nonetheless.
I descend the marble stairs and walk around the corner to the edge of the garden, leaning against the wall. I play through the interaction over and over again in my head. It’s painful to think about. They definitely know each other on a deeper level than some fling.
He had the audacity to ask her to privately speak with him. There was certainly a possessiveness to it, as if she would immediately say yes and follow him like a sheep. I should have waited before shutting it down so I could see what she would do. I squash the thought. My wife wouldn’t go with him. She snarled at the sight of him.
He called her Jo, something I've only ever heard Vivian refer to her as. It's always seemed like an affectionate nickname reserved only for them. With that logic, and the way Josie reacted, there is only one irrational explanation for how she may know Killian. She tried to downplay her emotion as surprise, but I felt shock echo through her.
My soul fractures when I realize it. He’s the boy Josie once loved. There were so many emotions filtering under the surface of shock that I couldn’t detect it immediately. She truly believed he was dead all of this time. That was pain on her face. It wasn’t the kind most people would notice, but I saw it for what it was. Heartache. My beautiful, tortured wife was blindsided by Killian. She had said he was dead, but I’ve known him for years while he wormed his way around Eris and the palace.
He’s a fucking snake and always has been.
All this time it was him. There was no way I could have known, but I still feel at fault for some reason. My mind tries to rationalize the situation. That had to be years ago, not only that, but Josie married me. I am Josie’s fucking husband by choice, not by force. Or was it? I did give her an ultimatum. I told a lonely woman she could be with me or have no one at all. What would I pick?
No, she’s strong. Josie doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to. That’s one of the frustrating reasons I love her.
I should talk to Josie about this, but instead I’m here hiding from her. I don’t know what I plan to do, but I want to know who she was. It shouldn’t be relevant. She isn’t that person anymore, but I can’t stop myself. We are leaving this party, and for once she is going to give me a full fucking explanation.
Killian sneaks around the corner sticking to the shadows. He looks distressed and doesn’t even notice me standing there. When he passes, I impulsively grab the back of his suit and drag him back to me. I can smell Josie on him, it’s faint but it’s there mixed with those cigarettes she sneaks when she’s stressed. They’ve spoken since I left, which just pisses me off that much more.
“Aedonaeus,” Killian says with gritted teeth.
“Killian,” I spit, letting the poison drip with disparity. “Or should I say Killy?”
He stands tall, ready for a fight. I don’t want to fight him. I want to hear what he says about Josie. I can kill him another time.
“No one calls me that.”
“Josie did. Why?”
A deranged smile creeps across his face. I’ve given up any semblance of sanity, and he has recognized my own desperation for knowledge. “Look at you coming to me with questions about your own wife.”
“Why did she call you Killy?” I demand. I’m losing whatever patience I managed to retain, quickly. If I kill him Josie might not forgive me, or maybe she’ll thank me.
Killian looks away, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Because it bothers me.”
I stare at him in silence. I’m not sure what to ask or say because there are so many things swirling in my brain. I can’t hold onto just one.
“Did she really never tell you about me?” he asks quietly, breaking the silence.
Inside of that cocky asshole there is a defeated boy. I’ve never seen him so dejected. Josie must have told him to fuck off. I smirk at the thought.
“She told me she thought she loved a boy once, and that he died. That now she knows she never loved him at all.” My words are like knives driving into his heart, but it’s also a test. I can see the truth. It’s him. A heavy silence follows, and the crickets fill it with their chirping.
“What is it that you hope to achieve here, Aedonaeus? If you want to cause me pain, you can’t possibly cause me more than I have caused myself.” He yanks on his hair, flustered and depressed. I’ve never noticed it before, but there’s a sadness pervading him.
“I want you to stay away from her.”
“Oh, like you did? I've been protecting her. Somehow, you’ve managed to fuck that up just like you do everything else.” He inhales. “You brought her here.”
“She doesn’t need your protection.”
“Someone has to think about her,” he argues.
I scoff. “And you think I don’t?”
“You only want her because she’s an enigma. You don’t know the first thing about her. I’m sure all the women you sleep with behind her back—”
“I don’t sleep with any women,” I growl. “Josie is my wife.”
“You don’t love her.” He laughs, but he doesn’t believe it.
“What exactly do you think love is, Killian? Do you think it’s leaving the woman you love to suffer alone?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re a coward. Just admit it.”
“They were going to take her,” his voice cracks. “I couldn’t let them. If I stayed, she was going to die. It’s the only thing I have ever done right.”
We haven’t discussed the murder of Kate, and the death of what is now presumed to be Killian in detail. Not really. A frustrating conversation is coming because it would seem this groveling asshole knows more about her than I do.
I’m starting to feel sorry for him. Anyone who ever knows Josie in the capacity of love could never get over her. They’re cursed. He has spent his time pandering after Josie while gallivanting around with another woman. We may have something in common after all, except I tried to find Josie, and I couldn’t. I didn’t know how I felt about her. I may feel sorry for him, but it doesn’t change the fact that Josie is mine, not his.
“I always knew you were an idiot, but you’re dense and selfish.” I fist my hands in my pockets.
“Tell me something I don’t know.” He stares at the ground. These sneering interludes I have with Killian are usually surface level. He certainly never admits he’s wrong.
“We thank you for your dedicated protection, but I’ve got it from here on out. You can relieve yourself of that duty.”
He shakes his head. “You have no idea what you’re dealing with. Do you think I like Eris?”
I’ve never given it much thought. Killian’s private life doesn’t concern me. It’s his insertion into mine and Josie’s that's the problem, but I would like to see where this goes. I’m in a unique position to collect information, and I don’t even have to beat it out of him.
“You’re telling me that you don’t love your betrothed?”
“Shut up. Who could?”
“Maybe I should speak with her then. Let her know your heart just isn’t in it,” I threaten.
“If you do that, I can’t stop her. As far as Eris thinks in her mental game of chess, Jo is a pawn. Josie is just some girl in the way, but that won’t last much longer. It doesn’t take an idiot to see her skin.”
“And what is Josie, actually?”
“A grenade without a plug.”
“I’m getting tired of this, Killian,” I warn, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Aren’t you listening? Are you so self-absorbed that you don’t see it?” I wait patiently for him to explain himself. “Oh, dear old dad never told you.”
My father? What does he have to do with this? Killian laughs with a bark, sharp and condescending. “It would seem you are just a pawn, too. How fitting.”
“Don’t talk about my father like that,” I growl.
“Where is the Grimoire, by the way?” His question throws me off. “Does he have it?”
“No one has any grimoire.”
“Secrets, secrets, secrets.” He prowls around me.
I can’t react because if I do, I'll be playing right into whatever game this is. I do know something he may not realize I’ve figured out. He has no idea the things Josie has told me, and I may be able to use it to my advantage.
“You know one of your own betrayed her.” He may not be Remnant, but I’m pretty damn sure of it. He looks just like one of them now that I’m seeing him with fresh eyes.
He stops his circling and is frozen in shock.
“It caused a mass exodus of the Remnant. They went home to the Republic. Her sister included. You just missed her.”
“Vivian was here?” It seems like I have struck two chords at once. But he has confirmed two new speculations. “Is she safe? Is she with Stafford?”
There is that fucking name again. The pub owner. “She’s safe. All of them are as far as I’ve been made aware. All except for the traitor.”
“Fuck.” He yanks on his hair again. The man is stressed. “Why didn’t Jo go with her? Did you threaten her?” He shoves me against the cool brick wall, and I let him.
“She didn’t want to.”
“No, no, no. Stafford promised,” he frets under his breath.
I laugh. “Promised to what? Keep her safe or use her to his advantage?”
“What do you mean by that?” He’s so serious that it gives me pause.
“Quite the entrepreneur Stafford seems to be. He wasted no time using her to extort anyone in his way.”
Clearly, he never knew that. I find it hard to believe there was a time Josie wasn’t filled with the devil. He smashes his face into his hands and sits down on the nearest stone bench. Killian looks out over the garden with the look of a lost man.
“My sweet Jo,” he mutters to himself. “What have they done?”
I patiently stand there in silence for his existential crises to end.
“She wasn’t like that.” He turns to me, pleading with me somehow.
“You’re wrong.” I smirk. “The Josie I know was always like that. Even when she was in the Republic.”
His head snaps up. “What?”
I’ve got a jump on him. I know she never told him about our interlude that night. This makes it that much sweeter.
“Unlike you, I never wanted to change her.” I look out over the garden, remembering the darkness in her eyes the night we first met. The danger she exuded at the club the second time. That day she married me in blood. There's a reason I call her little devil, and it isn’t because she’s innocent.
“Do you love her?” It catches me off guard. There’s a hard request for truth.
I eye him suspiciously. “I married her.”
“That isn’t what I asked.”
I think about what to say next. No one has directly asked me that, yet. Not even Josie.
“I’ll put it to you like this. When Josie, inevitably, takes my life, the atoms of my soul will continue to exist only for her.”
He nods slowly, looking into his hands with acceptance. “She has that effect.”
“I really must be going. My wife is waiting for me. As I said, she has quite the temper.” I don’t give him a chance to say another word. I know this won’t be my last interaction with him, but it will be for tonight.