4. Chapter Three
Chapter Three
Aliko
“You didn’t tell me this was a karaoke bar,” I say, glancing at Leif.
He grins, like he purposely left that part out.
We’ve been here long enough to find a seat at the bar and get our first drinks.
“Didn’t think it mattered.”
“You trying to get me to go up there to sing?”
“Would you?”
I shrug. “Maybe, but not tonight.” I grab my beer and take a mouthful. “Besides, if you wanted to hear me sing, you could have just asked.”
I wink at him, pushing my luck.
He hums a sound of approval, then brings the bottle of beer to his lips. A small drop slips out, gathering in the corner, and I have the urge to lick it up.
I see the way he reacts to me when I’m in human form compared to my monster form.
When I’m in monster form, he’s flirty but distant.
Careful. But when I’m like this? I think he’s into me.
The problem is that I don’t spend a lot of time with him in this form.
He knows this form, as do all the other staff, but when we’re together, it’s because we’re about to play and I always play as my monster.
I don’t want to risk fans finding out this is who I am when I’m human, or else I’d never get peace.
I’ve never slept with someone in human form either, so I don’t really know what that entails. Like most things human, I’m in the dark. It’s all a learning curve.
Intercourse as a kraken is… very different from what humans do, that much I know. And I know that only because I’ve watched porn—human porn. Well, there was that one time I came across two people dressed as animals, but I don’t talk about that.
The first time I watched porn, I was more intrigued than turned on. Seeing the way things work, it’s… interesting. Nothing like what I was expecting.
Back home, when kraken females go into heat, they have up to ten males in their den with them.
Kraken women are rare, and so are our children.
Usually, there is only one born every three years.
The pregnancy isn’t long, lasting about four months, but for some reason, the females don’t take to the eggs easily.
Typically, kraken go into heat at the end of summer, though they can enter a heat at any time.
The female produces hormones once she is in heat.
If a male is matched with that scent—something we don’t understand or control—they will start to produce eggs.
These eggs are inserted into the female one at a time.
It takes up to a day to see if that egg will be accepted or rejected.
Most of the time they are rejected. Still, when a female kraken is in heat, you will hardly see the men around because they spend all their time trying to implant the female with their egg.
Sometimes those who weren’t initially attracted to that female’s scent will become so after some time.
This goes on for weeks, sometimes months. Sometimes the eggs never stick at all, or the female will fall out of heat. The males become exhausted and stop producing eggs—sometimes forever, depending on age.
The entire event is time-consuming and tiresome, even for someone who has never gone through it.
It’s all the other kraken think about all the time, like it’s everyone’s business.
I understand breeding is important to keep our species alive, but the whole thing just feels strange.
Breeding should be intimate, not public gossip.
But there are only three things kraken care about.
1. Being kept a secret.
2. Being in charge of other kraken.
3. Making more kraken.
Personally, I don’t like the idea of finding a female to impregnate with my eggs just to carry on the kraken species.
I don’t like the idea of sharing one female with other men, all of us fighting to see whose egg will stick.
There's too much pressure put on one kraken, and I’m certain—even though there is no solid proof—that it’s why some of my kind lose their ability to produce eggs in the end.
If males continue to produce eggs, they can try to implant them into as many females that are available, and that’s just more stress.
Female kraken don’t look much different from the kraken males, other than being lighter in color, and attraction doesn’t work the same way it does for humans, but I can say that I am not attracted to females, period.
I noticed it immediately the first time I came up on land, and all I could do was stare at the men lying on the beach with their shirts off, skin and muscles glistening in the golden sun.
I’d immediately jumped back into the water, terrified by what was happening to my body.
It was my first time as a human. I had no idea what was going on with my cock—I didn’t even know what a cock was at the time. Now I am very familiar with it.
“So, did you always want to be a drum tech?” I ask, wanting to make conversation with Leif so I can get to know him better.
He shakes his head, putting his beer bottle down. “Nah, but I knew I wanted to do something in the music industry.”
“Not play, though?”
“I like playing, so no. I didn’t want it to be my job.”
I huff out a laugh. “I don’t know if I could ever not like playing.”
“I’ve heard too many stories of musicians losing everything outside of it because of it, and they come to resent it.”
I know about resentment a little too much.
“Well, I don’t have to worry about that. Don’t have anything outside of music.”
“You don’t have family?”
I shrug, not wanting to get into the drama that is my family. “Not really,” is what I decide on. “Kraken are fucking weird,” I mutter before grabbing my bottle and draining the contents.
The bartender asks if I want another. I agree, and she grabs it from the cooler beneath the bar and pops the cap before sliding it over.
Someone is announced over the speaker as the next singer comes on stage, and a song starts up that gets both mine and Leif’s attention.
We both smile, and I chuckle because it’s an Unbound song. It’s a slower one; one we don’t play live. A single, not on our album, but it’s a popular one, nonetheless.
The guy singing is right on time, his voice not perfect, nothing like Lucien’s, but still good. He hits most of the notes, going off-key only a few times. It seems he’s more interested in singing the song to someone rather than making sure it’s right, which is sweet.
But that’s the fun in karaoke, isn’t it? There’s an addicting sort of energy when you’re not focused on being perfect but just having fun.
I’ve sung karaoke a few times, showing off the bit of talent I have as a singer.
In human form, my voice doesn’t take on that aquatic quality like it does when I’m in my stage form.
When I’m like this, my voice is deep and raspy.
Not the type of voice that can sing anything, but I can do Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, and Soundgarden covers pretty well.
Not exactly karaoke music, since people are drunk and want fun and upbeat stuff, but if the vibe is right, it works.
I’d thought of doing some acoustic stuff on my own when the tour ends. I could pull gigs as my monster with The Unbound and do my own stuff as human. No one would ever know.
“You sing?” I ask, reaching for my beer.
“Oh no,” he says, shaking his head. “No, not at all.”
“That bad?”
“I’ve been told I sound like a dying cat.”
“Ouch.”
“Mhmm,” he agrees. “Not what you want to hear when trying out for the high school play.”
“Wow, even worse,” I say with another chuckle.
“It was probably the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me. Especially because this guy I had a crush on was watching from the front row. He… maybe was the reason I joined.”
I laugh harder. “I didn’t think it could get worse.”
“Thankfully, it doesn’t get worse than that,” he says.
“I quit theater immediately after, and the next day was told there was an opening in the marching band since a few kids dropped out. Figured it was better than nothing. I’d been playing music since I was a kid, and after destroying my reputation on the stage, I didn’t think I could make it worse by doing it on the field. ”
“And did you?”
“Fuck no.” He laughs, his eyes bright. “I was careful as all hell.”
“I didn’t peg you as a marching band kid,” I say thoughtfully.
“It’s not as bad as people think. Especially in high school. The uniforms were pretty basic, and we worked closely with the color guard and did some pretty cool sets since our director was hardcore into 90s rock. He taught me a lot of what I know today.”
A pang hits my chest, wishing I had stories like this to tell him. I have no fun memories of my childhood—of anything prior to almost two years ago, when I started coming on land.
“How about you? How’d you get into music?” he asks.
“You haven’t read the articles?”
He makes a dismissive sound. “I don’t believe that shit. I know they always change things to make them sell. I want the truth.”
The truth? Easier said than done. I hate getting into it all, but I’ll give him some. Because he’s not wrong. They did take my story and twist it to sound better—to make me more appealing to the fans.
“This is going to sound really crazy,” I begin.
He huffs a low laugh. “Yeah, I bet it is, but I’m curious. I mean… I work with you guys. We talk often. But I don’t really know much about you.”
“And you want to?” I ask carefully, my stomach heating. It could be the alcohol… or it could be something else. Maybe both.
“Hell yeah. We work together. I’d like to know more than what the fans know. I don’t know if it’s weird for you, but I don’t know many other monsters, and it’s cool to get to know you that way. You know, more personally. If you don’t want that, just say it, but I like you, Aliko. You’re cool.”
I can tell he’s trying not to offend me, like I may think he wants information for the wrong reasons, but I don’t think that. I couldn’t think that about him. He’s been nothing but kind to me since I met him.
He just wants to know more about monsters. What’s wrong with that? And what better way to get that information than from a monster’s mouth?
There is no other way, yet some of these monsters out here act like it’s the worst thing you could do. I’m sure some of them have had less than stellar experiences with humans, but I haven’t.
“You’re just trying to understand,” I say.
“Yes. Exactly.” He points at me. “That’s exactly what I want to do. I don’t know why I couldn’t think of that word.” He laughs, sliding over his empty bottle.
“Alcohol could have something to do with it.” I take a swig from my bottle, swallow, and clear my throat.
“Well, there isn’t much to say about kraken.
We’re pretty simple creatures. Just living to survive.
It’s important to them that our existence stays a secret though, so all of this—the fame, being out in the open, all of it—it isn’t accepted, and my love for music is… frowned upon.”
“How did you discover music, then? Being in the ocean and having to stay a secret… how did you find it?”
“Boats, at first. People on yachts blasting it. Cruise ships. I didn’t think too much of it until I came up here and really felt it, though. Humans love music, and I love exploring. Learning. It’s, uh… what my family thinks I’m doing right now.”
“They don’t know you’re here?”
“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “I’d be shunned from my colony forever.”
“Wow, Aliko. I’m sorry to hear that.” He looks like he means it.
I nod, but I don’t feel much about it one way or the other.
Would it suck? To be exiled like that? Yeah, being part of the colony is all I’ve ever known.
Being here is what I love, but being here doesn’t feel like a true fit for me either.
I like blending in as a human because it’s easier to learn and be accepted by everyone around me, but this isn’t who I am.
Even my other form, the one I use for the stage, is not me.
Not really me. And it’s not that I wish I were human; I just wish I could be accepted here as the monster that I am.
Maybe I would feel better in this form or my stage form if someone knew the real me.
If they saw that part of me and accepted me as such.
But I wouldn’t even fit down a street comfortably.
Land isn’t meant for me, so how can I be me in a place that isn’t built for it?
The guys know who I am; they saw that part of me, but it’s not the same. It’s not like I can be my true self in the band.
“Yeah, it’s not great,” I say, brushing it off.
“Playing underwater isn’t a thing. I mean, I tried, but it wasn’t the same.
You can’t move the same underwater, and sound is different, but I started coming up on land about two years ago.
That’s when I really found music. I danced and sang and played every chance I got. It all kind of just happened.”
“For someone who hasn’t been traditionally taught, you’re amazing. So talented.” He makes a sound between a huff and a chuckle, then takes a sip of his beer.
“Thank you,” I say sincerely.
“It’s the truth. I’m not just blowing smoke up your ass.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?” His tone turns serious. I narrow my gaze in question. “I just mean… you trust me like that?”
“I have no reason not to believe you.”
“Okay. Good. Because I don’t want you thinking I’m just into you because you’re famous.”
Famous? It still sounds weird to hear that word, especially directed at me.
“I don’t think that,” I say firmly, lifting my beer to my lips. I pause halfway and glance back at him. “Into me?”
He smirks. “You caught that? Fuck.” The last word is muttered under his breath as he looks away.
“Hard not to.”
“I’m sorry if it makes you feel weird, I just—”
“It doesn’t,” I say quickly. His gaze meets mine, holding it steady, but I see the caution in his gaze. “I didn’t know you were into guys, but I am… always have been.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes.” I nod, finally taking that sip of beer.
Earlier today, I’d told myself hooking up with my drum tech was a stupid idea. Getting involved with anyone while on tour is dumb, but with alcohol swimming in my veins and Leif looking at me like he’s about to devour me, I can’t seem to care about the consequences—any of them.
His gaze stays on me, hot and steady, as I finish my beer. I put the bottle down carefully, then flick my gaze toward him.
“You want to get out of here?” he asks, his voice low and raspy.
I reach for my wallet, open it up and toss a hundred onto the counter. It’ll more than cover our tab. Then I get to my feet.
“I was hoping you’d ask.”