34. Chapter Thirty-Three
Chapter Thirty-Three
Aliko
Leif is too forgiving. I feel like I should be suffering more than I am for what I did to him. I didn’t mean to hurt him, it was the last thing I wanted to do, but I did. And I should have to pay for that, shouldn’t I?
We love each other, and this is how I treated him? I just left him.
I just… left him.
I look down at him, the light from the TV causing small shadows across his face. We’ve been in bed for hours, just laying together. Making up for lost time, I guess. When he’s away from me, I feel physically ill. I don’t know how I survived weeks without him.
“I never want to be apart from you again,” I whisper, even though he can’t hear me.
He’s been sleeping for hours.
I kiss his forehead. He hums a satisfied sound and shifts closer, like even in his sleep he knows I’m here.
This is exactly where I wanted to be, but ever since seeing him, I feel like shit. I feel awful for what I did and guilt is eating me up. Even though I apologized many times, it doesn’t feel like enough. But I don’t know what else to do to make it up to him.
I spend the entire night watching him. Kissing him. Whispering my love to him. I hope, somehow, he’s aware of each and every one, even while he sleeps. If not, I’ll just do it all again when he wakes. And I’ll never stop.
Leif shifts, rolling onto his back and sucking in a sharp breath. His eyes pop open and he looks at me, blinking a few times.
“Did you sleep?” I don’t answer, which is telling enough. “Aliko, you need to sleep.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not taking care of yourself. I don’t like it.”
I huff a sound, then pull him to me. Can we just stay here forever? Safe, in this bed?
There are things we have to do—things I have to do. Like let everyone know that I’m back and give them a good enough reason as to why I left the way I did. I’m sure there is a lot of catching up to do with them too. Maybe they made plans for another tour. Maybe they made those plans without me.
If they want me out, it’s my own fault. I can only blame myself for making the decision I did.
It just really sucks that I let my insecurities win. Because that’s what happened. That’s what I did. I was weak and I hate myself for it.
I hug Leif a little tighter.
“How can I make this up to you?”
“It doesn’t have to be an instant thing, Aliko.”
“What do you mean?”
“Making it up to me. It won’t happen right now. It’ll happen in time. Show me you won’t do it again. That’s all I need from you.”
“I can. I will. I swear to you, Leif, I will never leave you again like that.”
“Then that’s all I need to know. So let it be for now. Let’s just… settle into our life together.”
Settle into our life together…
The words have my whole body growing warm and tingly.
“I’d love nothing more, my love.”
And we get started on it right away, with Leif getting up to shower and run through his morning routine, all while I keep my eyes on the door and to see him every time he passes it.
When he’s done, he goes into the kitchen to cook. I follow him, make coffee, and sit at the table to wait for it to be done, and for him to serve me food—because that’s what he loves doing.
All I want is for him to be happy and do the things he loves.
Hopefully it’ll be with me by his side.
Each day gets easier for us, but it takes me a week before I want to talk to anyone else.
With Leif’s support, I’m able to do it, and it’s a lot easier than I imagined.
I got myself all worked up over a phone call for nothing.
Though, maybe it’s Leif holding my hand that makes it easy to get through.
The guys were all worried about me, having no idea where I went or why, but they didn’t kick me out of the band. Hadn’t even crossed their minds. And they’d like to talk about another tour—after we all get a break. So, they’ll be in touch.
That’s it. So simple. They forgive me. I’m still part of the band. I’ll hear from them soon when we have something to do. For now, I get to enjoy my time with Leif.
The amulet burns against my skin. I’d called Theorah in yesterday to recharge it. She only increased the price by fifty dollars this time, but she did steal two blueberry banana muffins that Leif had just made. She’s a menace. But I need her. At least for now. Or maybe not.
“Hey, what do you think about me staying in human form more often?” I ask Leif.
He looks over at me from the book he’s reading. “I’ve told you a hundred times that I love all your forms.”
I press my hand to the amulet. “I just don’t have to worry about recharging the ring.”
“Does she annoy you that much? I thought she was funny.”
I roll my eyes. “No, but I don’t want anyone bothering us.”
He smirks, and heat flashes across his eyes. My dick twitches and I ache to touch him, but don’t. Before I left, I would have. But now? I feel like I need to earn that right back.
Things are different with us now. Almost like we’re staring over, but not at the same time. There’s history now. A lot of big feelings—and on my end, a lot of guilt that I am trying to work through.
“How come?” he asks, raising a brow.
“Because I want you all to myself,” I admit.
The corner of his lips turn up in the smallest smile. He slips the bookmark between the pages he’s reading and sets the book on the end table before crawling over and straddling me.
“And what are you going to do to me while you have me all to yourself?” he asks, his tone low.
My hands slide up around his hips, and go higher, running across his ribs and back down.
“Everything,” I say softly, meeting his gaze.
Those grey eyes are bright, but not as bright as I remember. I know it’s because of me, but I try not to think about that right now.
Leif leans in, pressing his lips to mine softly.
“Show me?” The slight lilt at the end tells me it’s a question. He’s hesitant. Worried about this. He shouldn’t be. I want it, I just don’t think I deserve it.
“Are you sure?” I ask, sliding my hands around to his lower back and pulling him toward me.
He sucks in a sharp breath. “I’ve never been more sure about something in my life, Aliko.”
I hug him tightly, kissing him deeper before bringing my mouth to his neck and tasting him there. He’s just as I remember. Sweet with the barest hint of salt. His scent is something that is just him with the lingering hint of soap from the shower he took this morning. I take a deep inhale of him.
“I love your scent, but I prefer it when you smell like me.”
“So, make me,” he says as he grinds down on my cock that is already getting hard. His nails scrape across my skin, leaving a burning sensation across my chest.
I flip us, so he is on his back, and I kiss him everywhere, taking off his clothes as I go.
His shirt is the first to go, and his pants follow soon after.
My mouth waters, wanting to feel the weight of his cock on my tongue.
It’s been far too long. But I get to my feet and get myself naked before I do.
He moans softly, his hand running across my head and over my shoulders as I take him deep, but I go slow, savoring it and showing him how much I’ve missed him.
“Aliko—fuck,” he whines. “I missed your mouth.”
I want to tell him that I missed him too, but I’m busy, and I don’t plan on stopping any time soon.
Okay, maybe soon because I want to fill him with my cock.
Leif thrusts up, chasing my touch, urging me to go deeper. I take as much of him as I can, wanting him to feel as good as possible.
“Want you in me—”
I lift off him immediately and shift my position so I can line up my cock. He smiles up at me.
“That was easy,” he says with a small laugh.
“I want to please you,” I say, stroking my cock.
His hand finds my arm and he squeezes gently.
“You always do. Now give me that fat cock of yours, Aliko.”
I press the tip of my cock to his hole and push forward. It takes a while to work myself inside him, even with the large amount of lubricant because of how turned on I am. We didn’t prep, so I still need to go slow. He begs me to go deeper, to just do it already.
But I won’t hurt him again, even if he’s asking for it.
Besides, I’ve always enjoyed when he begs.
He cries out when I finally get myself all the way inside him, his nails digging into me.
“Fuck me, Aliko. Now. Please.”
That, I can do.
Hard but slow, because I need this to last.
It’s never been one and done with us, but I just need to feel him like this as long as I can. I need him naked and mine, in complete bliss because of me.
My orgasm hits me out of nowhere like a train slamming into my chest. I flood him with cum, so much it pours out and onto the couch. White bursts behind my eyes and my body trembles. When I open them again, Leif’s hand is around his softening cock, cum splattered along his chest.
I lean down to kiss him.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Aliko.”