Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Ben
Ihold my breath, waiting for Ashlyn to say something.
My hand is still wrapped around hers, my thumb tracing slow, steady circles over her skin.
But she stays quiet, and the silence between us starts to stretch longer with every heartbeat.
I don’t know if that silence is a good sign, or if she’s just trying to figure out how to tell me I’ve screwed everything up.
I study her face, trying to read her expression.
She’s looking right at me, but I still can’t tell what’s going through her head.
We’re both laid bare, our hearts on our sleeves, but hers more than mine.
She’s the one who asked the hard questions, the ones I’ve thought about late at night but shoved aside, afraid of the answers.
She faced them anyway. And now she’s sitting here trying to decide if she should protect her heart or risk everything.
For me.
“I’m scared, Ben,” she whispers. “But I’ve already let you in.
I’ve already fallen.” Her voice is soft but sure.
“And I know nothing in life is ever promised. Molly and Taylor have shown us that. But they’ve also reminded me how fragile everything is…
and how some things are worth holding onto, no matter how tangled or complicated they get. ”
I exhale slowly, feeling the ache in my chest begin to ease. She’s still here. Still choosing us.
“I’m scared too, Ash,” I say quietly. “Scared I’ll mess everything up, that I’ll hurt the people I care about the most, that I won’t be enough, for you, or for my daughter.
But the one thing that terrifies me more than all of that…
is losing you before we’ve even had a chance to see what this could be between us. ”
Her shoulders drop and her body softens just a little, and the tension she’s been holding onto finally starts to let go.
She smiles softly. “We’ll figure it out together, Ben.”
I search her face. “Come here,” I say, my voice low as I open my arms to her.
She takes the bottle from my hand and sets it beside hers on the coffee table, then moves closer, curling into my chest like she belongs there.
I slide my arms around her, pulling her in tight.
Holding her feels instinctive, like this is exactly where she’s meant to be, and I never want to let her go.
“Are we okay? I ask after a couple of minutes.
She lifts her head and smiles. “We’re good, Ben.”
Relief washes over me. “Can I kiss you?” I ask softly.
“Yes,” she whispers, her voice full of longing.
Lowering my head, I slide my fingers into her hair. It’s still damp from her shower, and as I gaze down at her, in sleep shorts and a tank top, bare-faced and beautiful, I can’t help but smile.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks, her cheeks coloring under my stare.
“Because I want to remember you like this,” I murmur. “You’re beautiful, Ashlyn.”
She gives a soft laugh, shaking her head. “I look a hot mess.”
“No,” I say, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “You look perfect.”
Then I lower my head and press my lips to hers in a slow, tender kiss.
She melts into me instantly, her response leaving no doubt she wants this as much as I do.
When the kiss deepens, I trace my tongue along her bottom lip, and she parts them for me with a soft, breathy moan that sends heat rushing through me.
Her hands glide up my chest, her fingers gripping my shirt, tugging me closer like she can’t stand to have space between us. I know the feeling.
I pull back just enough to trail kisses along her jaw, smiling as she tilts her head to give me more.
My lips find the rapid pulse in her neck, and I trace my tongue over it, feeling the quick thud of her heartbeat against my mouth.
She’s pressed so close I’m sure she can feel my heart racing too, her hands splayed across my chest as I lose myself in her.
As much as it kills me to put the brakes on, we need to take this slow. There’s already enough stacked against us.
I force myself to pull away, pressing my forehead gently against hers. We’re both breathing hard and I know exactly where this would have gone if I hadn’t stopped. And as much as I want that, she’s worth the wait. Every second of it.
“We should slow down, baby,” I murmur, catching my breath.
“We should?” she echoes, her voice soft but questioning.
I lift my head, waiting until her gaze locks with mine.
“I want to do this right, Ash. I want to take you out on dates, bring you flowers, and learn everything about you. I want to take you dancing in the rain and for lazy picnics by the lake.” I graze my knuckles over her cheek, and she leans into the touch, making my heart clench. “I want to sweep you off your feet.”
Her smile is warm, and she leans into me, pressing the lightest kiss to my lips. “I want all those things too, Ben, and I want them with you.”
But then she bites her bottom lip, and I can tell something’s on her mind. My brows pull together in a frown. “What are you thinking?”
“I know we said we’d take things slow, but… can you stay the night? We don’t have to do anything, but I’d really like you to be here.”
Her words rush out in a nervous tumble, and I can hear the hope in them. Laney’s staying at my parents’ house tonight, so there’s no reason I can’t stay.
“I can stay,” I tell her. It’s going to take every ounce of self-control I have to keep my hands to myself if we’re sharing a bed, but there’s no way I’m passing up the chance to wake up with her in my arms.
Her grin is instant, and I can’t help but smile back.
I open my arms, and she steps into them without hesitation.
Wrapping her up, I pull her close, loving the way she fits against me.
She lets out a soft yawn, reminding me how exhausted she must be after everything at the hospital.
It’s not even nine yet, but I’m more than ready to call it a night if it means holding her while she sleeps.
“Come on,” I murmur. “Let’s go to bed. You look wiped out.”
She yawns again, covering her mouth. “I am tired. Are you sure you don’t mind?”
“Of course not,” I say gently. “Let’s go.”
I watch as she locks up the apartment and switches off the lights before leading the way to her room. Once inside, she quickly gathers up the clothes scattered on the floor, glancing over her shoulder with an apologetic smile.
“Sorry it’s a mess. I wasn’t expecting company.”
I take the clothes from her hands and set them on the chair in the corner. “Ash, I couldn’t care less about the mess,” I tell her, lacing our fingers together and tugging her softly toward the bed. “I just want to be here with you.”
She smiles sleepily, another yawn escaping before she crawls up onto the bed.
I stand there watching as she slides her hands under her tank and unclasps her bra, slipping it off and tossing it to the floor.
My throat goes dry as my gaze catches the way her nipples peak beneath the thin fabric.
I have to force myself to drag my eyes back up to hers.
She looks at me, a teasing glint in her expression. “Are you planning to sleep in all that?” she asks, her voice low.
I give her a slow smile. “No, Ash. Just boxers.”
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as I strip down, and the heat in her eyes nearly undoes me. It feels like she’s seeing me, really seeing me, for the first time, and it’s been a long time since anyone looked at me like that. She’s stirring things in me I wasn’t sure I’d ever feel again.
Once she’s under the covers, I switch off the light, letting the room fall into darkness. I climb onto the bed and lie down, holding out my arms for her. She moves toward me without hesitation, settling against my chest as I wrap her up and hold her close.
“You okay?” I murmur, pressing a kiss into her hair.
She tilts her head back just enough to meet my eyes, smiling softly. “I’m good. Thanks for being here.”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” I tell her, and I mean every word. With her in my arms, everything feels right. Like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Even though my body is screaming at me to take things further, I know she’s exhausted, so I’m content just holding her.
Within minutes, her breathing evens out and she’s asleep. I close my eyes too, realizing it’s been weeks since I’ve felt this kind of peace. Between Ash consuming my thoughts and Laney barely speaking to me, sleep hasn’t come easily.
But here, with Ashlyn in my arms, it finally does.
I’ve just drifted off when a sharp knock at Ashlyn’s front door pulls me out of sleep. She’s still out cold, her head resting on my chest. She looks so peaceful; I doubt anything would wake her right now, and after the day she’s had, she needs the rest.
Careful not to disturb her, I ease her off me and slide out of bed. I pull my T-shirt on as I make my way through her apartment to the front door. When I open it. Nash stands in the hallway, fully suited up in his uniform, his expression thunderous.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he snaps, his gaze darting over my shoulder, scanning the apartment. “Where’s Ashlyn?”
I probably should have expected him to overreact, especially after how he acted at the hospital that time, but still, his outburst catches me off guard. Then again, I did just open his sister’s front door half-dressed. “She’s asleep,” I reply evenly.
His eyes rake over me, his scowl deepening. “Why aren’t you dressed?”
I glance down at myself. “Because I was asleep too.”
Without warning, he shoves past me into the apartment. I let out a long breath as I shut the door behind him. Turning to face him, I try to keep calm.
“Look, Nash–”
“I want to see Ash,” he cuts in sharply.
“She’s sleeping,” I say again, dragging a hand through my hair.
“You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.” His voice is tight, his hand resting on his gun. My eyes flick to it.
I let out a dry chuckle. “What? You thinking of shooting me if I say something you don’t like?”
His gaze flashes with something unreadable. “The thought crossed my mind.”
I sigh. “I’m here because Ash asked me to be here. She was upset, so I came over. I get that you don’t like this, Nash. I get that you don’t like me. Ash told me you were protective of her, but I care about your sister, and unless she tells me otherwise, I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re old enough to be her father,” he growls. “Doesn’t that bother you?”
“No, and it doesn’t bother Ash either,” I say, trying to keep my voice in check.
“Well, it should,” he snaps. His voice rises, and I glance toward Ashlyn’s bedroom, my jaw tightening.
“Keep it down,” I warn him. “I don’t want you waking her. She’s a grown woman, Nash. She can decide who she dates.”
“What’s going on?” Ashlyn’s sleepy voice drifts from behind me.
I turn and reach for her, slipping my arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Hey,” I murmur. “Sorry we woke you, baby. Nash decided to drop by.”
I press a kiss to her temple and glance back at her brother. If looks could kill, I’d be on the floor. Ashlyn tenses beside me, and I give her waist a gentle squeeze.
“Is it Taylor? Is she okay?” she asks, her voice tight with worry.
“No change,” Nash answers, his tone softening just slightly. “I just wanted to check in. Make sure you were okay here on your own... but it looks like you’re fine.” His gaze flicks between the two of us, his jaw clenching. “What are you doing with him, Ashlyn? He’s too old for you.”
Ashlyn sighs, exasperated. “God, Nash. I’m not doing this with you right now. Thanks for coming by, but as you can see, I’m fine. You should go.”
“Ashlyn–”
“Goodnight, Nash.”
“This is a mistake,” he mutters as he storms past us, slamming the door behind him on his way out.
Ashlyn sags against me, and I wrap her up in my arms. “You okay?”
She lets out a breath. “I’m sorry,” she whispers against my chest. “I love him, but he’s impossible sometimes.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I tell her gently.
“I heard what he said to you. He had no right.”
I hold her tighter. “He’s just worried about you. He doesn’t want you to get hurt.”
“He doesn’t want me to live my life,” she mutters.
“Maybe it’s the cop in him.”
She lets out a dry laugh. “If that’s the excuse, what about Cade, Seb, and Wyatt? They’re not cops, just overprotective pains in my ass.”
“Hey,” I say with a smile. “You don’t mean that.”
“Don’t be so sure.” With a dismissive wave of her hand, she adds, “I don’t want to think about them right now.” Then she smiles up at me. “I just want to fall asleep in your arms.”
“That sounds perfect.” I slip my hand in to hers. “Come on, let’s sleep.”