Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Ben
The longer I sit at Molly’s bedside, the heavier the guilt presses down on me.
Logically, I know it’s the infection that’s draining the life from her, that her body is slowly shutting down because of it, but I can’t push Laney’s words from my mind.
Molly needed every ounce of strength she had left, and telling her about Ash and me on Thursday, without knowing the infection was already ravaging her body, feels like the cruelest mistake I could have made.
Laney’s barely said a word in the hours we’ve been here, and since Olivia left, the silence between us feels endless.
I can’t shake the thought that she’s blaming me for this.
That if I hadn’t told Molly about Ash, maybe things would be different.
She hasn’t said it, but I can feel it lingering in the space between us.
I’m pulled from my thoughts by the faint buzz of my phone vibrating in my pocket.
I slip it out, my chest tightening when I see Ash’s name on the screen.
A part of me feels like I have no right to be looking at it, not here with Molly lying in this bed, fighting for her life, but I can’t deny how much I ache to hear Ash’s voice, even for a moment.
When I glance up, I find Laney watching me quietly.
“Who is it?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Ash.”
She doesn’t respond, just keeps her gaze steady on mine. The intensity of it makes me slide my phone back into my pocket without answering.
“You’re not going to call her?” she asks after a long moment, surprise threading through her tone.
I shake my head. “I’ll talk to her later.”
Before either of us can say anything else, there’s a soft knock at the door. I look up as Kirsten steps inside.
“Aunt Kirsten,” Laney breathes. She’s on her feet in an instant, crossing the room and throwing herself into her arms.
Kirsten wraps Laney up tightly, holding her as she cries against her shoulder. Over Laney’s head, Kirsten’s eyes meet mine, and she gives me a small, sad smile. I manage one in return.
When Laney finally eases back, I step forward and pull Kirsten into a hug of my own.
“Thank you for coming,” I murmur.
“Of course,” she says quietly, her voice trembling. “How is she?”
I shake my head. “No change. She’s not responding to the antibiotics.”
Kirsten sighs heavily and walks to Molly’s bedside. She leans in, brushing a gentle hand over Molly’s arm.
“Come on, Mol,” she whispers. “You’ve got to keep fighting, girl.”
But there’s no sign Molly can hear her. No sign at all.
Kirsten pulls a chair close, sitting beside Laney and slipping her hand into hers.
“Is Bennett not here?” Kirsten asks, glancing at me.
“No. He’s overseas on business. He’s trying to get back…” I trail off.
“She’s going to die, isn’t she?” Laney asks, her voice raw and broken.
Kirsten’s eyes find mine, and the look she gives me says everything I don’t want to hear.
“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Kirsten says softly. “But she’s very sick.”
Laney doesn’t respond. There’s nothing left to say. We’re all painfully aware of how serious this is, even if none of us are ready to accept it.
The next hour slips by in heavy silence, broken only by the quiet comings and goings of the medical staff.
They check Molly’s vitals, monitor her machines, and make quiet notes on their charts.
But there’s still no sign of improvement.
If anything, things are getting worse. Her temperature has climbed even higher since the last round of observations, another grim sign that the antibiotics aren’t working.
I push up from my chair, my muscles stiff and aching after sitting in the same spot for hours. “I’m going to stretch my legs,” I say, glancing at Laney. “Will you be okay for a bit?”
She gives me a small nod.
“I’ll stay with her,” Kirsten offers gently. “Take your time.”
“Thank you,” I murmur, grateful that she’s here. “I won’t be long.”
I step out of the room, quietly pulling the door closed behind me. Leaning back against the wooden frame, I let out a long, heavy breath, trying to steady myself.
“Mr. Murphy?”
I open my eyes to find Dr. Lawson standing in front of me. His expression is grave, and dread coils in my stomach.
“Can I have a word with you and Laney in the relatives' room?” he asks quietly.
I give a tight nod, unable to find my voice.
Once Laney, Kirsten, and I are inside, he closes the door gently behind us.
“Please, have a seat,” he says.
We lower ourselves onto the worn leather sofa, Laney seated between Kirsten and me, her hands clasped tightly in ours. My stomach churns as Dr. Lawson perches on the arm of the chair opposite us. He leans in slightly, his expression heavy with sorrow.
“Despite the IV antibiotics we’ve administered over the past several hours,” he begins, his voice gentle, “Molly’s condition has continued to decline.
We’ve done everything we can, but the infection is too severe.
Her organs are starting to fail. At this point.
.. all we can do is make her comfortable.
” He pauses as if the next words might somehow soften the blow.
“I’m so very sorry.”
The sound Laney makes is raw, a sharp cry that cuts straight through me.
I pull her into my arms as she breaks down, sobbing into my chest. My own tears fall silently as I hold her close.
No matter how much I prepared myself for this, I’d still hoped that Molly would find a way to pull through.
After six years of fighting, it feels unbearably cruel that an infection is what’s finally claiming her life.
Kirsten speaks quietly with Dr. Lawson, but the words blur in my ears. All I can focus on is Laney falling apart in my arms. I wish I had something to say that could ease her pain, but I know there’s nothing. No words will make this better.
Laney was right. Molly gave up, and I can’t help but feel responsible for that.
Ashlyn
It’s late evening, and after spending the entire day staring at my phone, I’m drained. I sent Ben a message earlier, hoping to hear something, but I haven’t. He hasn’t even read it. The worry is eating me alive, and even though I’m exhausted, I know I’m not going to be able to sleep.
After locking up my apartment, I turn off the lights and head for my bedroom. I climb under the comforter, staring at the ceiling as my mind races, replaying every possible scenario over and over. I’m so deep in thought that when my phone suddenly rings on the nightstand, I jump.
Rolling over, I snatch it up, my pulse pounding when I see Ben’s name glowing on the screen. I answer in a rush, pressing the phone to my ear.
“Hello?” I say, breathless.
“Hey. It’s me,” Ben replies. His voice is tight and strained.
I hesitate, bracing myself. “How’s Molly?” I ask carefully.
There’s silence on the other end. I pull the phone away to check if the call dropped, but it’s still connected. When I bring it back to my ear, I hear Ben let out a long, heavy sigh.
“She’s gone, Ash,” he says quietly. The grief in his voice is unmistakable; raw and devastating.
I inhale sharply, tears stinging my eyes as my chest tightens painfully.
“Oh, Ben… I’m so sorry,” I manage, though the words feel hopelessly inadequate. I wish I could reach through the phone and hold him, take some of his pain away. I swallow hard. “How’s Laney?” I ask, though I already know the answer.
“Devastated,” he says with a shaky exhale. “And I don’t know what to say to her, Ash. I’m her dad. I’m supposed to take her pain away. Instead, I made it worse.”
His voice cracks, and hearing him like this breaks something deep inside me. “Ben…” I whisper, frowning. “What do you mean?”
He’s quiet for a moment before releasing another sigh.
“I saw Molly on Thursday while I was in Phoenix,” he says, his tone low and guilt-ridden. “I told her I’d met someone. Someone incredible.” He pauses, and my heart aches, wondering what he’s going to say next.
“Laney thinks she heard me… and that she gave up. Maybe she’s right.”
My eyes widen in disbelief as I shake my head.
This isn’t him talking, it’s the grief. It has to be.
He can’t really believe that’s what happened.
Molly had an infection that overwhelmed her already fragile body.
It’s a tragic coincidence that Ben visited her on Thursday and told her about us. Nothing more.
“No, Ben,” I say firmly. “Her body was weak, and the infection took over. You didn’t cause this.”
“You don’t know that,” he snaps, his voice suddenly sharp.
I gasp quietly at the edge in his tone, and he must hear it because he lets out a weary sigh almost immediately. “Shit… I’m sorry, Ash,” he says, his voice softening. “I’m just… my head’s a mess.”
“It’s okay,” I say gently. “I get it.”
There’s a pause. “I’ve just had to call her brother and tell him she’s died before he was able to get back and say goodbye. He was devastated.”
“Ben…” I trail off, wishing I knew what to say.
“We’re staying at my sister’s in Phoenix tonight. I can’t handle the drive home. We’ll head back tomorrow, probably.”
“Okay,” I reply, trying to keep my voice calm. “I’ll stop by after work to see you both.”
There’s a beat of silence, and the quiet on the other end knots my stomach. Maybe I pushed too hard. I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing, and now it feels like I’ve done exactly that.
“Ash,” he says finally, his voice low. “Can I check on Laney tomorrow and let you know then?”
“Of course,” I reply quickly. “Sorry… I shouldn’t have assumed.”
Heat rises to my cheeks. I’d been so worried I wouldn’t know how to handle this if it went badly, and now here I am, proving myself right.
“No, baby,” he says softly. “I want to see you. But I need to make sure Laney’s okay before I think about what I want.”
“It’s okay. I understand.”
“Hang on a second,” he says.
I hear a rustle, then muffled voices as he covers the phone. I can’t make out the words, but the tension in his voice when he returns is unmistakable.
“Sorry,” he murmurs. “I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay…” I say, hesitating for a beat. “I love you.”
He exhales quietly, and when he answers, his voice is heavy.
“I love you too, Ash. Night, baby.”
“Night, Ben.”
I end the call and let the phone drop onto the bed beside me before sinking deeper into the mattress with a heavy sigh.
Ben sounds completely broken, and it shreds my heart to hear the guilt he’s carrying.
None of this is his fault. And Laney… I can’t even begin to imagine how lost she must feel. Devastated doesn’t even come close.
I’m desperate to see Ben, to hold him and remind him that he isn’t alone. But I know I’ll have to wait. He’s right. Laney has to come first. I just hope that in all of this, he doesn’t end up pushing me away.