Chapter Two #2
“How? How am I supposed to know where your line is, Ava?” he demanded.
“You asked me to make decisions when you couldn't, and that arrangement has always worked for us before. You hate Cameron as much as I do, so I thought for certain you'd be on my side. When you weren’t, I assumed you weren’t in the right place to make this decision with me, so I made the decision for us, like I always have. I’m your dominant, but you backed out of that agreement when you failed to listen or even talk to me about what you were going to do!
If you had listened to me and stuck to your promise, none of this would be happening! ”
Charlie had been miserable, but now he was starting to get angry, which I could handle. He wanted to play this game of who was worse than who? Fine. I could play, and I was better at it. Let’s fucking go.
“There’s a difference between being a full-time submissive and letting you control me. You don’t get to make these big, overarching decisions over my life just because you’re the dom. I gave you that control. I could take it back any time I wanted if you fucked up, so I did.”
Charlie said nothing in response, and I gave a cold laugh.
“You want to talk about our rules, Charlie? You violated our agreement yourself, because you promised that you would never conceal things from me, and that you would never lie to me. Instead, here I find out you’ve been lying for months!
Do you realize what you’ve done to me? You could’ve cheated on me and it wouldn’t have hurt as badly as this!
Ancestors, I wished you had an affair instead.
At least you wouldn’t have taken my life away! ”
He was still wordless, and it was really pissing me off.
He couldn’t even fight back to defend himself.
I wanted him to, because it was the only justification I had left.
If I couldn’t cast magic anymore, I at least needed to get some sort of high off of starting shit.
It would be entertaining, and make me feel something besides all this agonizing vacancy.
I crossed my arms. “I’m surprised you didn’t lock me in the Sanctuary. Only you can get in or out. I wouldn’t have been able to leave by myself, and nobody but you could’ve set me loose.”
“I thought about it,” Charlie said quietly.
“Then why didn’t you?”
“It seemed like a step too far. Like I was violating something sacred we’d both promised was off limits.”
I could not believe the audacity of this man.
“I see. So putting me in a cage and taking away my free will was fine, but using our sex dungeon as a prison was a step too far. Bravo, Charlie. I’m really applauding the effort you put into making that decision.
” I clapped my hands together, emphasizing for show.
“Did you even think about breaking our bond before you did it?”
“I broke our bond because I didn’t have any other choice! You didn’t give me any options, Ava!”
“Bullshit. You did it because you couldn’t fucking beat me. You knew I was better than you, and you just couldn’t handle it, so you went and took a cheap shot because cheating was the only way you were going to win. You were scared of me and my power, so you took the easy way out.”
Charlie put his hands in his pockets and hunched away. "Yeah, pidge, I was scared of you. And I had a right to be, because you almost ruined everything."
A shiver raced across my skin, littering goosebumps across my body.
“Don’t act like your back was against the wall and you had to pull the trigger.
Say what you want. If the roles were reversed and I’d lost that battle between us, I’d be damned before I did something like that to you.
I’d let you break the world in half before I would consider hurting you in that way.
But you chose to hurt me. And you can’t take that back. ”
“Ava, you killed people when you were pulling that shit on the beach. Half the city is destroyed because of your chaos!”
“So did you! There are countless numbers of Elves and soldiers who were slaughtered by your rebellion, and that was before I lifted a finger to do anything to stop you! That doesn’t count everyone’s lives you’ve destroyed who are still alive!
Our friends, our family, everything’s changed because of you! ”
“Because of us. Some of our friends took your side. Everybody’s paying the price for it now. You’re not just a person, you’re a weapon. The Warden wanted to protect the supernatural world from you, and now you’ve proven him right!”
It was my turn to be speechless, because I was busy swallowing down a bitter, lonely pill.
The Warden had won in his own way. We were still fighting the war, but the Warden had told me time and again this world would break me eventually and make me turn against my values, changing me into someone I wasn’t.
He’d been right about me and what I was, despite me striving over the years to prove him wrong. I think that, more than anything, really dug a thorn into me. One I couldn’t rip out.
My voice fragmented into a million sharp pieces. “I guess the Warden won this round. But you’ve beaten him at his own game. Congratulations, Charlie. You did what nobody else could. The Warden couldn’t do it, John couldn’t do it, my enemies couldn’t do it, but you did. You broke my spirit.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore. Charlie stood there and listened to me sob, his back rigid, appearing miserable as tears dripped from my eyes and landed beside the blood droplets on the floor.
I wasn’t just talking about how he’d severed our bond and destroyed my soul.
The fiery, brave Ava that I’d once been was dead.
I didn’t think it was possible for her to be extinguished, not after everything I’d conquered, but it turned out the one person who had the ability to break me was the man I’d trusted completely.
Our enemies never had the power to break us. That ability remained with those we loved, and I’d been stabbed through by the person I loved the most.
I sniffed and wiped my face, gluing back the broken pieces of myself so they held just a bit longer, at least until we were done with this argument. “You’ve already done everything you can do to break me. So please sign these papers, I’ll file them, and we can both be done with this.”
Charlie crossed his arms around his body and held himself, backing away. “No.”
I gritted my teeth. “You absolute bastard. You promised me at any point if I wanted a divorce, you’d let me have one.
Now I’m asking, and you’re throwing that back in my face and refusing to let me go.
Even after everything you’ve done, you’re still a selfish prick.
All you care about is keeping me all to yourself, no matter how I feel about it. ”
“This isn’t just on me, Ava!”
“I don’t give a shit! You started all of this!”
“Did I? Or did it start when you demanded we drag ourselves to the camps?”
He hadn’t meant to let that slip out. I could tell by the way he cringed once the words were said.
Didn’t matter. He’d said them anyway, and there it fucking was. “I knew it. I didn’t want to believe it, but I knew that you held Cassiel’s death over my head. You blame me for it.”
“I don’t blame you that my grandfather died, but—”
“But what? If we hadn’t gone, Cassiel would still be here? You think I don’t know that?” I put my head in my hands. “We already suffered enough that day. We didn’t have to lose more than what we already did if you hadn’t tried to pull that asinine insurrection!”
“And I take ownership of that, but you have to be accountable too! Asking for a divorce isn’t going to make any of this right!”
“Of course it’s not, but at least it'll prevent more destruction from happening! It’s sick that you’re making this all about you! I’m not abandoning you because you decided to destroy me! I’m doing what’s best for myself by getting the hell away from you!”
“And do you really fucking want this? Or are you just throwing a tantrum like you always do? How do I know you aren’t going to take it back?”
“This isn’t about me being a brat. I’m tired, Charlie.
” I slumped in my chair, feeling what little fight I had brought into this argument flutter away like a butterfly whose wings were crushed.
“I’m fed up trying to save a man who doesn’t want to be saved, and I’m sure you’re ready to walk away from a girl whose sanity never existed in the first place.
If you weren’t, you never would’ve tried any of this, because you had to know what you could lose if this went wrong.
You had to be willing to gamble our marriage if this didn’t go the way you wanted it to, but you were fine with putting that on the table.
Because deep down, a part of you was ready to leave me. ”
“That’s not true.” Charlie said the words automatically, but there was an edge of resentment bordering his tone.
He was lying again. I didn’t think he registered it.
“Please stop being dishonest. I know it’s exhausting dealing with me. Being my babysitter, trying to police my behavior, I know it wears on you. You don’t have to say it. So just stop doing it.”
Charlie didn’t tell me I was wrong. It scared me as much as it wounded me. My intuition, on that part at least, had been right.
“If you became capable of doing what you did, and I had that kind of response to it, we shouldn’t be together.
We just destroy things. We can’t just protect the world from the Warden.
We need to protect the world from each other, and from us, because we’re terrible together.
We didn’t want to admit it, but we can’t stay blind to it anymore.
This relationship is toxic. It’s wrong. So I’m ending it.
We aren’t good for each other, so it’s time to separate.
I’m sick of reviving it, bringing it back from the dead and trying to fight for it.
This thing between us is twisted and deranged, but it’s not love. So just let it die.”
“Ava—”