Chapter Five #4
I can remind you that you decided to make different choices moving forward, Oberi pressed.
Is this how you want to honor your grandfather at his funeral, by causing harm to one of your friends?
We’re all hurting, including Alistair. Cassiel would choose to extend grace, because even though Alistair’s being a shithead, he’s still our ally.
Think about how you want to handle this, because you promised you were going to be better moving forward.
I didn’t get a chance to respond before my father began wailing from inside the ballroom, boasting so everyone could hear.
“My father was a grand Emperor, but I can promise you that I will be even greater!” Cameron slurred drunkenly. “Now he’s left this nation to me, I’ll do what needs to be done for my empire!”
My father would never be able to measure up to Cassiel. For him to stand here at my seanari’s funeral and make this all about him was a clear indication of that.
I wasn’t going to follow in his footsteps.
I had the opportunity to make a choice here— to extend the grace my grandfather would’ve chosen, or react on selfish instinct like my father often did.
As difficult as it was, I’d decided to put a stop to my descent into villainy.
That meant following my grandfather’s example.
Oberi was right, as much as I didn’t want him to be. None of us were in the right headspace right now, and fucking Alistair up was only going to make everything worse. I’d leave him to sulk back to his quarters. Maybe a few nights alone would make him rethink where he stood.
“Fine. You win,” I told Oberi bitterly. “Just take me back in there, before I do something stupid.”
I put Alistair out of my mind, because he didn’t deserve an ounce of my attention right now. Everything I had left, I would dedicate to my grandfather tonight.
Oberi led me back inside, where my friends were sharing stories of Cassiel. No one acknowledged that I’d left, or that I’d returned, and I preferred it that way. I think they could tell, because no one tried to coax out some sort of conversation.
For me, there were no words that would ever be enough.
And I didn’t need them. My grandfather knew exactly how to speak my language— with food.
He knew I hadn’t had enough to eat as a child, and had to go hungry often.
Through this gesture of the fruit, he’d gifted us hope, and that was more love than I could ever receive through words alone.
I picked up the fruit I’d left there and bit into it.
The fruit tasted as if it had been gifted by the goddesses themselves.
It had a sweet skin with a soft inner flesh reminiscent of a peach, but with the sweetness of fresh pears.
Delectable juice flowed from the fruit with each bite, running down my chin as I tried to lap up every bit of rare sweetness I could.
It’d been a long time since I’d had the appetite to eat anything, but I cherished this gift that had come from Ava, for it was her connection to Spirit that caused the fruit to bloom.
This was a final way to say goodbye to my grandfather, and I wouldn’t let it rot.
It wasn’t enough to make up for our loss, but it was enough encouragement to get me to rethink a few things. I’d made a lot of mistakes lately, one of which had gotten my seanari killed.
But maybe, like this fruit, there was a way to make it better again.
I’d chosen to spare Alistair from my wrath in the hall, and perhaps that could be the first of many choices I’d make to become something better than the horrible person I’d been recently.
Things could never go back to the way they were… but maybe they could be something new.
Heavy footsteps landed on a nearby table as someone climbed on top of it.
I felt flecks of wine droplets hit my face as someone sloshed their tankard around, throwing their arms back.
“This funeral doesn’t have to be a sordid affair!
I am your Emperor now. Trust in me alone, and forget the mistakes of our past! ”
The Elves around the room said nothing, frightened as they were. They knew if they mentioned that this was inappropriate, Cassiel wouldn’t be the only one we’d bury tonight.
Cameron continued, bemoaning and making a spectacle greater than any show I’d ever witnessed.
“Cassiel’s passing will be mourned, but I will live on in the hearts of our people forever!
I shall become the last of our monarchy, a blazing glory that will be written about in history once Ophio Taurus brings the Elves to our end! ”
Ava gave a forced laugh, as if she thought Cameron’s words were nothing but one big joke.
Ava’s been watching Cameron all night, Oberi noted to me. Her eyes haven’t left his. They’re burning.
With what?
Wrath.
Cameron’s words grew louder, pressing in all around me…
strangling the light out of me. “Cassiel could not save you from The Mission’s power, for he wasn’t strong enough.
I will be a monument to our plight, a god among Elves!
After centuries of struggling to survive in the supernatural world, it is time to accept our extinction, and acknowledge our fate.
His ashes may be scattered to the wind, forgotten forever, but mine will go down in the books as the last, and greatest, Elven Emperor! ”
This was going too far. All Cameron cared about was being remembered as the last Elven Emperor by default, because he’d already given up on trying to win the war.
Maybe he was happy Cassiel had died, so at least he could take the spot and claim the fame as the last of the Elvish monarchy even though he hadn’t earned that right.
I wouldn’t allow my father to ruin my grandfather’s name at his own funeral, even if my head would roll for it. I went to stand, but before I could speak out, another did, her will thundering throughout the hall.
“Your majesty, sit down.” Ava’s demanding voice rose over my father’s, and the wake went even more silent than before. “There is no need for this.”
My father’s stunted gasp leaked from his obtuse mouth. “I did not give permission for the princess to speak—”
“You are grieving. All of us are. You have lost your father, but your people have lost their Emperor, and your son has lost the most important man in his life.” Ava’s tone showed little mercy as she pounded her fist against the table.
“You have said what you needed to say. We have all acknowledged you. Now hold your tongue and let Cassiel be at peace, so the rest of us can be as well.”
The ease was palpable. Everyone was relieved she’d spoken up.
Even so, I felt terror suffocating me from the inside out.
Ava couldn’t speak out like this. There was no telling what Cameron would do to her, and I wasn’t sure if I could stop it if he demanded her execution, though I’d kill myself trying.
Nobody would ever touch her, even now, unless I was dead first and unable to do something about it.
Cameron staggered on the table, weaving back and forth like he was about to topple off of it. I expected him to tell the guards to arrest Ava, before I heard him hop down. Without another word, he returned to his drinks, and shut the hell up.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I muttered.
“Yes I did.” The tip of Ava’s little finger skimmed against the edge of mine. I gently brushed it back, then retreated my hand.
Ava and I didn’t speak the rest of the night, but she remained close by. She simmered, while I remained frozen in the moment. I didn’t need to do anything but make sure she was near me. It was enough just to get me through this.
It was insane this beautiful ballroom had once hosted our wedding reception, such a day of joy, and now it was swathed in bereavement for the loss of someone dear. Though she didn’t have to, Ava had stuck up for my grandfather and advocated for me.
I was once again reminded of our wedding vows. I’d promised to serve Ava as her bonded partner until the day we died, to celebrate her victories and carry her sorrows, believing in faith and braving through doubt.
Ava and I weren’t bonded anymore. But maybe there were still ways to keep those promises to her.
Because she was still keeping her vows to me. And in this moment, mending those broken promises I’d made became the only thing that still mattered.