Chapter Six
AVA-MARIE
The days following the funeral were just as forlorn as the dour event itself. Watching Charlie crumble upon the altar’s steps as he grieved the loss of the only parent who’d ever been there had been my undoing. I hadn’t been able to stop myself once I’d seen him in pain. He’d needed me, so I came.
I’d received a bit of hope when the elder tree had responded to my prayers.
I thought my connection to the afterlife was still present, and there might be a way for me to summon my spiritual abilities to contact Idril and Caralyn.
I’d pleaded with the temple’s Great Mystic to help me perform one of the rituals, and she’d obliged, but nothing had happened.
I’d laid upon the altar, pleading with the goddesses to send me a message, yet all had remained silent.
With the absence of my magic, my power to communicate with the Elvish goddesses was also taken away. I still held the title of Holy Mother, but none of the abilities.
My powers were gone, like so much of the rest of me.
Even my hallucinations of the Warden— or The Beast, as I’d called him— had stopped when Charlie broke our bond.
There was so little left of me that even my crazy mind couldn't muster up the ability to care about him anymore.
My hallucinations were my way of sticking it to the Warden when I couldn't actually get to him, but now that I'd lost the ability to kill him entirely, the game wasn't fun anymore.
So The Beast had left, and taken everything with him.
The engagement pictures my mother had taken of me and Charlie hung on the wall of our bedroom like ghosts of my former life.
I hated that they were there, reminding me of the foolish girl I had been and that there was no fairy-tale ending.
I couldn’t bear to throw them away, so they remained there as tombstones in a cemetery of what could be, rotting into the past.
I couldn’t look at them anymore. I’d been sleeping in the Ladies’ Court to avoid Charlie, so I decided one day to move all my things there permanently.
There was no reason to stay in his quarters anymore.
We were divorcing, so might as well move out.
I’d managed to avoid him most of the time in the past few days, but every now and then we’d run into each other, and it turned into nothing but petty words and screaming matches whenever we were face to face.
We’d been fighting all throughout December, and I was sick of it.
It was nothing but the same argument, and our interactions never lasted longer for a few minutes, one of us throwing accusations at the other before we stormed off in different directions.
I think it hurt me more, because he dragged Oberi off with him every time.
I couldn’t stand to watch him take Oberi away from me again and again, when he’d already done the worst by breaking us apart.
If I hid in the Ladies’ Court, where Charlie couldn’t get in, I’d never have to see him again…
and I wouldn’t have to keep saying goodbye to Oberi and his sad black eyes.
I missed him more than I missed Charlie.
I couldn’t keep watching my beloved dog walk away, trailing the heels of the guy who’d ruined my life.
Everything I needed was in the Ladies’ Court, including food, a bed, and a pool I could chill out in until the Warden decided to show his ass up, so it was good enough for me.
I never needed to leave this part of the palace ever again.
Charlie had tried to imprison me, but now, I was willingly imprisoning myself, because it was easier this way.
The servants were more than willing to move my things for me, but I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, so I helped where I could.
On my way to the Ladies’ Court, I saw Aunt Maddie leaning against a balcony, looking over Ilamanthe with a peaceful visage. I’d rarely seen her be so… still. She always seemed to be fretting about one thing or another, but perhaps the fulfillment of my prophecy had been a weight off her shoulders.
I hadn’t spoken to her at all in the past few weeks, not since I’d tried to end the world. I wasn’t sure if she wanted to see me.
But she didn’t object when I came up beside her. “What do you see?” I asked.
“For once, I don’t see anything. Everything is quiet.
” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“That’s never happened to me, not since I was a small child.
It’s an extraordinary feeling. I’m enjoying the moment before the visions start up again.
I know they will, but I can’t help but hope that my role as a prophet is done for good now that your story is complete. ”
I nodded. “You foretold that I would make a choice, to save the world or end it, and that Charlie would make a choice to stop me or let me do it. Those choices have been made, and I picked the wrong one.”
“It wasn’t the wrong choice, Ava. It was only a choice that didn’t work out. Life is inherently meaningless, after all.” Maddie shrugged, as if that terrible statement was philosophical and not absolutely gut-wrenching to speak aloud.
“I don’t know if I believe that.” I put my arms on the balcony beside her. “My prophecy is fulfilled. What happens now?”
“Hm.” Maddie tapped her chin thoughtfully, before she smiled. “Well… I suppose now you get to write the ending.”
“What do you mean? You must have some idea of what’s coming, of what the Warden will do.”
“I don’t know what happens next, Ava. No prophet does.
I’ve done my research, and there are no prophecies currently standing about this point in time.
I truly thought the universe would end once you cast your spell, but Charlie stopped you, so it didn’t.
I’m not sure if that was supposed to happen, so what’s next is up to you.
There are no prophecies, no predestinations or determinations of your life anymore.
Whatever fate you find yourself in will now be completely in your hands. ”
Maddie left me on the balcony, to stare down at Ilamanthe and all its people. The weight of an entire empire was lying in limbo, with no one to catch it once it inevitably fell.
My fate was in my hands? That was scarier than not knowing the destination, because whatever happened next, good or bad, was all on me.
I’d been following the words of my prophecy for years, doing what it took to avoid the consequences, fulfill what was foretold, and become the hero when all I’d turned into was the villain.
Now there were no more guidelines left to follow, no impulses or instincts, no hints on what to do or where to go.
It was as incredibly freeing as it was wholly terrifying.
No gods or prophets would dictate to me what to do next, and without that guidance, I worried I would fail in whatever I attempted next.
Still… the shackles were off me. I no longer had any obligations. Whatever happened next, I would choose, and there I would be.
What an adventure.
I returned to the Ladies’ Court. Kallie was sitting by the pool, staring into the water. She immediately rose when I entered, her eyes locked on mine.
We hadn’t really talked. Not since the day I’d lost everything.
I put the box aside and wheeled up to her. The Ladies’ Court was practically deserted this time of morning except for us, which was probably for the best. I didn’t want anybody else around. Nobody but her.
“Hey,” I started cautiously. “You… all right?”
Dumb question. None of us were.
She shrugged. “Just thinking about my brother. It’s been a lot harder to get in contact with him since your shield was put up.”
“How are things back home?”
Kallie sighed, already sounding miserable. “Malovia’s about the worst it’s ever been. I don’t think it was this bad during the Malovian Revolution. We’ve lost so much territory, and we don’t have enough resources to keep everyone sheltered and fed during the winter.”
“Your brother is going to handle that,” I reassured her. “You have enough on your mind.”
What the Dollmaker had done to her, the camps… all this. Kallie hadn’t gotten any time to recover from one crisis before she’d been shoved into another. She didn’t need the survival of her people to be on her shoulders on top of it.
Her lip quivered. “I backstabbed you, Ava. I betrayed you, and I can’t forgive myself for it.”
“Kallie, there’s no need to forgive yourself for anything. I was the one who threw that fireball and hurt Marcus. You wouldn’t have changed sides if I hadn’t done that. It was a misjudgment on my part.”
“It wasn’t just that. We made the wrong choice, Ava,” Kallie said heavily. “I was really messed up after Valen tortured me. I wasn’t in my right mind to be making critical choices like that—”
“I shouldn’t have put you through that. It was wrong of me to ask you to help, to even take sides, and I’m so sorry.”
“We both did some stupid shit, but that doesn’t mean the boys are off the hook, either. Particularly your ex-husband.” Kallie scowled. “He didn’t give us much of a choice, did he?”
Why did it hurt so much when she called him that? It shouldn’t. But it cut me through to the bone, so I was pouring agony inside.
“We’re not divorced yet,” I rushed to say. “We haven’t… signed the papers.”
Kallie raised an eyebrow. “Okay.”
She reached down to hug me. “I don’t know how to fix this, Ava. Maybe it doesn’t need to be fixed, but what I do know is that I need you.”
“I need you too, Kallie.” I hugged her back, not wishing for anything more in the world. Who needed husbands, anyhow? Best friends were better. Maybe me and Kallie could take my car and we could drive far away, flipping our middle fingers to the world.
As we pulled apart, I asked, “I’m guessing you’re pretty busy, huh?” I was fully expecting to spend my day alone, because that’s what I did now, every day. I used to be surrounded by friends and love all the time, and I’d lost it all in one crash and burn.