Chapter Six #4
“Exactly. If we were taking the same class I’d probably fly past you, because I have the ability to show up every day, and you don’t. That doesn’t mean you’re better off than me because you have the ability to beat me in a footrace.”
“Eh, not so sure about that one, either. I suck at running.” He laughed.
“You know what I mean.” I worried the point had gone over his head.
“I guess you don’t have to deal with the kind of stuff I deal with, and vice versa. Our struggles are the same, but different. I was in and out of the palace hospital all last month. It’s like when I go down, I stay down forever, and have a hard time getting back up.”
I knew I had some part in that. CMSS didn’t respond well to stress, and I was certain Ez had been anxious since Charlie had broken our bond. He’d been worried about me, and I hadn’t considered that.
“Maybe if some kind of miracle treatment comes along one day, I’d be interested. There are wearable exoskeletons that people like me can use to walk with. They’re making advancements in robotics every day, and who knows what magic will be able to do in the future. I’m not completely stuck.”
“But it’s not going to be the same as walking on your own,” he protested.
“No. Yet it’s something to hope for,” I offered. “But I need you to stop putting yourself through this kind of torment. You’re my brother. I need you to see me as whole and complete, just as I am. I see you as perfect even though you're sick.”
Ez sighed, leaning against me. “I know you’re okay with who you are, and that you’re fine with living this life. Though I wish you didn’t have to. Sometimes, being disabled really sucks. I know there are days I don’t want to be.”
“I don’t feel like that,” I responded honestly…
realizing it was the truth. “I had to become broken to realize just how powerful I really am. Everything I went through was really terrible. But I’m grateful for those struggles now, in the end.
It sounds silly to say, but I feel like being disabled has become my superpower.
I wouldn’t be anywhere close to the person I am today without it.
I’ve learned how to alchemize my weaknesses and turn them into strengths. That’s the greatest power of all.”
Ez made a skeptical noise. “I want to be grateful for what I’ve learned, but I’m not.
I’m so tired of being ill, and I have my whole lifetime to go.
Dad had it so much worse than me, too. I don’t know how he managed to survive this before they figured out a treatment for it. I couldn’t have done it.”
I let my head fall against his chest. “Yes you could’ve, because you’re strong, just like me.”
He blew out a breath and wrapped his arms around me. “I want to kill the Warden for what he did to you.”
“He had to do this to me, to put us on even ground. He couldn’t beat me unless I was at my weakest, because I’m so much stronger than he is.”
My tone shattered as I whispered, “Or at least… I was.”
“I still think you can beat the Warden, even without your magic.” Ez squeezed me tighter. “Your greatest strength wasn’t your powers, Ava. It’s your head.”
I huffed. “That doesn’t work, either.”
“Bipolar or not, you’re smarter than he is,” Ez affirmed. “You’ve still got an edge on him, and he hasn’t beaten you yet. Let’s make him pay for trying.”
“All I know is I’m not going to my grave unless he’s in one first.”
“Definitely.” The smile slid off his face. “Ava, what are you going to do if we find a way to defeat the Warden? Are you going to work things out with Charlie, or are you still stuck on leaving?”
I gave a pathetic laugh. “It would be easier to leave if I didn’t love him.”
Ez guffawed. “Uh… sorry? Did I hear that right?”
“You can tell me I’m being stupid. I know this situation is messed up.”
Ez nuzzled in closer. “I don’t know. I love Charlie.
I love you. It’s all so complicated. I want to hurt him for hurting you, but he’s like a brother to me, too.
I can’t forgive him, but I don’t want you guys to split up, either.
I’d be okay if you hated him forever, and if you want a divorce, I’m cool with that.
I’ll be here for whatever you need. You want to leave, I’ll help you, and I’ll punch in his face on your way out. ”
I laughed. “Thanks, Ez.”
“But there’s a selfish part of me that wants to see you fix your marriage. You guys were good together, before everything went bad. He made you happy. But I don’t know if I can trust him again, after what he did.”
“I don’t know, either. I wish I had answers, and nobody’s got any. I can’t even give any answers to myself.”
“I want our Institute family back together. I’m tired of everyone being divided like this,” Ez said in frustration. “I miss our friends. I miss everybody. And I know things can’t go back to the way they were.”
Ez’s voice lightened with hope. “But I keep praying to the ancestors that they'll end up better than before. I don’t know if that’s naive of me to think, or if I’m actually on to something.
I sense something big’s coming, something good.
And we’ll all be happy again, though it might not seem like it. ”
“We all know you’re the eternal optimist.”
Ez chuckled softly, cuddling his head against mine. “Yeah. I don’t know any other way to be.”
I hoped Ez was right. Things had never seemed bleaker, but I wanted to believe him when he said something good was coming. Something unexpected.
I just didn’t know if whatever’s coming would be good for me.
I’d been so down lately, but having the hockey game— and a surprise engagement party— to look forward to helped get my mind off things.
I put everything out of my mind to focus exclusively on Kallie, because that’s what she deserved.
When she heard I’d gotten us tickets to the game, she’d run around cheering and nearly fell into the pool in the Ladies’ Court.
We spent the morning getting ready for the game. I helped Kallie make a giant sign that read Puck My Fae Stick, which she was very proud of.
Kallie helped braid my hair into two plaits.
She wanted to do hers to match, but no way in hell was I letting her walk out of here for her engagement without looking absolutely stunning.
I ordered her to sit in front of my vanity and gave her big looping curls.
She donned pink eyeshadow in the shade of the fae team’s jerseys, then put on a tight t-shirt with the fae team’s logo, along with tight shorts and knee-high socks with high-top sneakers.
She looked absolutely stunning. I knew Marcus was going to come in his pants the second he saw her.
We met up with Marcus outside the palace, where a limo was waiting to take us to the stadium. He was carrying around a stack of pink jerseys that matched the one he wore, and he passed two over to Ez and Opal before they ducked into the limo.
“You get a jersey, and you get a jersey! Everyone gets a jersey!” Marcus cried cheerfully as he turned to us. His jaw dropped when he saw Kallie. Ancestors, he looked nervous. I cleared my throat to remind him to screw his head on straight.
He righted his features and handed me a jersey, which had the number eleven on it. I pulled it on. He held the last jersey in his hands.
“This one’s special for my pretty girl.” He lifted the shirt over her head, and Kallie put her arms up to slip it on. The jersey was baggy on her and hung perfectly on her delicate frame, nearly like a dress.
“What player’s name is on the back? Is it my dad’s?” Kallie asked, turning in place like she wanted to see.
“No peeking,” Marcus teased. “That’s a surprise.”
I smirked as I read the back, as well as the number seven that was stitched underneath. Kallie shrugged. “Whatever you say, weirdo.”
Kallie should’ve known something was up by the way he was fidgeting. But Kallie didn’t seem to notice. She must’ve been distracted by the upcoming game, because nothing got past this girl. Except an engagement, apparently.
Marcus gulped. “Here, um, have some champagne.” He ducked into the limo and came out with two glasses and a champagne bottle. His hands shook as he tried to fill the glasses, spilling the champagne down his arms.
I quickly changed the subject to help hide his nerves. “Let’s get a move on. We don’t want to be late for the face off.”
“We’re still waiting on the others—” Marcus started, but cut off when footsteps approached behind us.
I turned my chair to see Charlie alongside Oberi, with Chancey and Eddie beside him. My stomach lurched at the sight of my ex-husband. Not only was his hair a tousled mess in the sexiest fucking way, but that asshole was wearing the same number eleven in blue.
How fucking dare he! Chancey, Eddie, and even my own Familiar were in matching jerseys and rooting for the Elves— the rival team.
Even worse, he was wearing the number eleven…
the date of our wedding anniversary. For fuck’s sake, I was wearing the same damn number, just in pink.
I wanted to punch Marcus in the face for supplying me with this jersey, but then decided he wasn’t bright enough to put two and two together. It had to be a coincidence… right?
Unless he’d done this on purpose. How dare he.
Charlie and I were wearing identical jersey numbers like there was still something between us, but he felt farther away from me than ever before.
These stupid jerseys were a symbol of how separated we’d become.
We were cheering for separate teams today, but it was bigger than that.
Out of the stadium and in real life, Charlie and I were rivals now.