Chapter Twenty-Two
AVA-MARIE
We’d made a ton of progress on the island, but now that we were back home, we had to face the inevitable truth of what reconstructing our marriage looked like in the real world.
I worried a part of what we’d shared together within the woods had to stay there, because I didn’t know how the pieces we’d worked to repair would fit into our lives here.
On that island, I’d been so focused on restoring our love that it hadn’t crossed my mind what we’d do with Casey once we got back.
I hadn’t held Casey since my mom had asked me to.
It still felt strange every time I looked at him.
It was easier to think of him as Charlie’s baby, and not mine.
It was getting close to the point where Casey would be able to leave the NICU and come home, and I didn’t know what I was going to do then.
He’d be moved into Charlie’s quarters, obviously, and we’d be sharing the same space all the time. I wouldn’t be able to avoid him.
But I already felt like a stranger in my own home, and I worried that inviting Casey in would make me feel pushed out. Like there wasn’t enough room for all of us in Charlie’s life.
It was okay if Casey took my spot. He was a baby, and he’d done nothing wrong. If there was only so much to go around, he deserved that. I just wasn’t sure how to rearrange my life— our life— so that everything would fit. It didn’t seem like I could.
But I had to, because that’s what Charlie and I did. We always found a way, and if what happened on that island was any indication, then we’d figure it out in the midst of our healing. I had to remain optimistic about that.
My worries only grew when I awoke that morning to find Charlie already out of bed and getting dressed. We hadn’t fooled around last night, and I missed it. We were still too worried about connecting through intimacy that neither of us had tried.
“Where are you off to this early?” I asked.
Charlie buttoned his collar. “The doctors summoned us for a meeting. They said Casey will be ready to come home tomorrow. They want us in for a consultation, and to sign the paperwork to release him. Isn’t that great?”
Charlie wore a bright smile that only made me crumble. He was elated that we were going to be a family, which I knew was everything to him.
It worried me. I’d given him a baby, but could I give him a family?
My throat closed around my words. “Charlie… I can’t go.”
He rushed to sit beside me on the bed. He took my hand and squeezed it. “I know this isn’t easy. But we’ll make it through this together.”
Charlie was acting like everything would go back to normal now, like nothing had changed.
But it had. Everything had changed.
“I’m just… not ready to deal with this,” I admitted.
He nodded. “That’s okay. Only one of us needs to be there. I’ll go, so you don’t have to.”
Charlie didn’t understand what I was saying, and it wasn’t because I was holding myself back.
I couldn’t put my thoughts into words, because I didn’t quite understand how I felt.
I wished that I could open my heart to him like we had on the island, so he could see everything I couldn’t say, but all I could manage to choke out was, “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” Charlie stood. “Um… you can wear some of my clothes, if you want. I know they won’t fit well, but it might be better than wearing the same dress you have been for a while.”
There was no way I was doing that. They’d smell like him, and it would drive me mad. My feminine side prodded me to say yes, but the masculinity in me demanded it wasn’t safe, so I said, “I’m fine. Thanks for the offer, though.”
“Oh. Okay. Um… I’ll see you later.” Charlie shoved his hands into his suit pockets and gave an awkward nod before leaving the room.
For fuck’s sake, this was insane. Charlie and I had done so much work to get back to a good place, so why couldn’t I just accept this and move forward with him? I needed to think.
Charlie and I had to be more alike than I thought, because if there was one thing that helped him when his head wasn’t screwed on straight, it was sinking his fists into a punching bag. I figured I’d try sinking my knives into a target.
I got back into my tattered dress, pulled myself into my chair, and headed down to the demigod training center. I’d been training alongside the Firebirds for months, preparing for our next inevitable fight, but right now I had to be alone.
Hours passed as I threw my blades, but my head was still reeling. I didn’t know if this was actually helping me think, or just distracting me. Those divorce papers were still sitting in Charlie’s quarters. We had the chance to tear them up last night, but didn’t. What was I still waiting for?
To become a mother? To rise to power?
I didn’t even know if I could do both. I knew many Empresses had raised children before me, but this was a time of war— the worst war the world had ever seen. The realms were on the line, and so was my family. I didn’t know if I could keep them safe while accomplishing what needed to be done.
I practiced with my bow and the knives all day, repeating the movements until it became natural to wield them. My knives were hitting the target every time, when out of the corner of my eye I saw Kallie run by the open door.
“Shit,” she stated in a panic. “Shit, shit, shit! I’m gonna fucking kill Cameron.”
“Kill who?” I asked, not sure if I’d heard her right. “Kallie? Kallie!”
She didn’t stop when I called after her, so I knew something was wrong. I hurried after her as she made a direct line for the throne room.
“What the hell is going on—?” My words fell away.
Shock made it so I couldn’t finish my sentence.
Kazim was kneeling on the floor, bound by chains as ten guards surrounded him.
Bruises massed his face, and small injuries dripped ichor.
It looked like he’d been in a rotten fight.
He must’ve been found while in hiding and dragged here.
For fuck’s sake, one of the guards had a sword to Kazim’s throat! And by the look on his face, all he was waiting for was Cameron’s order to swing. It looked like he was about to give it.
Kazim’s mate, Sigrid, was also bound, though it took half the palace’s guard to hold her down.
The chains around her form rattled as they struggled to contain her magic.
Blood ran from her mouth and was streaked across the floor, as if she’d bitten and torn into the first guard who’d stopped her from getting to her mate.
The audacity was absolutely atrocious. These were the king and queen of the fae, one of our few surviving allies, and he had them in chains. How completely idiotic could Cameron be?
The throne room was packed with people. Oberi growled lowly, his hackles raised as he snarled at the Emperor. Marcus barely restrained himself, body quaking as his eyes flashed from Cameron, then to Kallie.
Charlie was here, too, though he didn’t know what to do. His jawline was set with an edge of rage as his fists shook at his sides, though he didn’t speak up or intercede.
I couldn’t blame him for freezing. He didn’t have any political power anymore. Cameron had stripped it all away.
Kallie had already ripped her sword from its sheath, pointing it at Cameron. “Set my brother loose. I won’t ask twice.”
“Insolence will not be tolerated in the Elvish court!” Cameron yelled, already sounding like a whiny baby. “This whelping brat needs to learn when to hold his tongue!”
“Because I did as fae do and called you what you are,” Kazim spat.
“A coward Emperor who hides away in his castle while his people die. Have you ever bloodied your sword? Because I would rather linger within the darkness of the Underworld for an eternity and a year than allow my people to perish while I do nothing to help them!”
“You are asking me to commit suicide,” Cameron snarled.
“I asked you to help us bring fae captives imprisoned by The Mission back to Ilamanthe. There are thousands of soldiers being held in Malovia since it was overrun, good fae with strong magic, trapped who could use our help. Our spies have confirmed they are being held in the town of Fasva, which I assure you is quite penetrable and could be overtaken! To rescue them is not just a favor to us; it is a benefit to you, as Ilamanthe’s forces would be twice as strong if we were to save the fae that remain captured under The Mission’s eye,” Kazim hissed.
“We cannot beat Doctor Taurus without greater numbers, and this is our only chance to grow them, yet you slink away as a worm into your hole, dragging us all down into the dirt with you to become corpses! I call a thousand shames upon your house, and spit humiliation upon your name!”
I’d never seen Kallie’s brother so furious. Kazim was such a gentle, soft-spoken person, but a fiery wolf raged within him once confronted with another king’s weakness.
“Who said anything about beating Doctor Taurus?” Cameron said with a wave of his hand. “I find we are quite comfortable here.”
“This shield will not hold up forever, and neither will our supplies. We are running out of food!” Sigrid cried.
“You got past the shield somehow, so I don’t see where that’s a problem,” Cameron sneered.
This was exactly why Kazim and Sigrid had been hiding with Kallie’s parents. Now that they were exposed, so was our hole in the shield.
Cameron shrugged. “It’s irrelevant, because the palace has plenty of supplies to last the royal court for some time.”
In other words, if Cameron wasn’t going hungry, nobody else mattered.
Sigrid gritted her teeth. “We must confront The Mission soon, before we are on the edge of starvation, and we cannot do that without more soldiers!”
“And why should I take orders from you?” Cameron sneered. “You have lost your country, and I am trying not to lose mine. You are no longer a queen, so why do you holler like a bitch dog when hit?”