18. Birth（DAY）
VERENA
18
Iglanced at my watch for the tenth time, the seconds ticking by. An hour late. I tried to keep my disappointment at bay, but it was hard. Today was Jae’s birthday, and I had gone all out to plan a surprise dinner for him at his favorite restaurant. The staff had even set up a table in the corner with balloons and a birthday banner. I’d been looking forward to this for weeks, knowing how busy Jae had been with work.
Since Luminous had taken off, we’d been swamped with projects. Two years in, and we were already designing multiple buildings, with fifty employees under our belt. Jae had changed a bit too. The once laid-back guy I’d known in college had become a bit of a workaholic. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing—his dedication was admirable—but it also meant he was more often than not glued to his desk or running from one meeting to another.
Finally, the door swung open, and Jae walked in, looking frazzled but undeniably handsome. His dark hair was tousled, and he still wore his work clothes—black slacks and a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He spotted me, and his face lit up with a sheepish grin.
“Verena, I’m so sorry I’m late,” he said, sliding into the seat across from me. “I got a call just as I was leaving from TherTech; you know how much that damn lady can talk. She’s driving me nuts.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I figured you were busy. I’m just glad you’re here now.”
He reached across the table and squeezed my hand. “I really am sorry, Vee. You went to all this trouble for my birthday, and I almost blew it.”
I shrugged, trying to brush it off. “Let’s just enjoy the dinner, okay? I ordered your favorite.”
As if on cue, the waiter brought over a platter of grilled steak and roasted vegetables. Jae’s eyes lit up at the sight, and I felt a little better. Maybe this dinner would still be good.
“How’s everything?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light. “I see you every day, but I feel like all we talk about is work.”
Jae took a bite of steak, savoring it before responding. “Yeah, it’s been nuts. Did I tell you about the new project we landed? It’s a complete redesign of the old rec center downtown. I’ve been buried in blueprints.”
“That sounds exciting. But I meant how are you doing? Outside of work?”
He looked at me, a bit startled by the question. “Oh, um, Auntie’s coming to visit next month. She’s been wanting to check in and make sure I’m eating well, taking care of myself, all the typical.”
I smiled. “She’s always good at keeping you grounded. It’ll be nice to see her.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “And your mom asked if we could help her with the garden this weekend, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. I’ve got a ton of prep to do for the presentation on Monday.”
I shrugged, trying to brush it off. “I’ll go help her out. We’ll manage.”
He reached across the table, squeezing my hand. “I’m really sorry, Vee. I know you wanted us to do that together.”
“It’s fine,” I said, forcing a smile. “Really.”
We settled into an uneasy silence. The food was delicious, but I could barely taste it. My mind was too occupied with the realization that work was starting to consume Jae entirely, leaving little room for anything else.
“So,” I said, trying to steer the conversation to lighter territory. “Any other non-work-related news?”
“Not much. How about you?”
I sighed. “I’m still looking for an apartment. The places in my budget are all either too small or in terrible condition.”
“Oh!” Jae interrupted, his eyes lighting up with excitement. “I have a pitch for an apartment building renovation. Complete overhaul. We need to plan for that. Who knows, maybe you could live there, hmm? I’ll work it into the contract.”
I forced another smile, trying to match his enthusiasm. “That sounds great, Jae. But I need something now. Not in six months.”
“Right, right,” Jae said, his excitement dimming slightly. “I just thought it’d be perfect for you. You’d get first dibs on the best unit.”
“Yeah, it would be,” I said softly, looking down at my plate. “But I can’t wait that long.”
“Just move in with me.”
I blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “Uh, what?”
Jae leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with the enthusiasm of his idea. “Think about it. We work together all the time, have late nights. It’d be great. Less time traveling back and forth.”
I laughed, trying to deflect the sudden tension his suggestion brought. “Jae, you’re my best friend, but living with you? You’re so…meticulous. You’d probably label my cereal boxes.”
“C’mon, it wouldn’t be that bad,” he teased, a smirk playing on his lips. “You might actually learn to appreciate my organization skills.”
I shook my head, unable to hide my grin. “Yeah, right. I’d probably drive you nuts with my mess.”
“Maybe,” he said, chuckling. “But it’d be worth it. We could share meals, talk about work without having to call each other all the time. And I’d make sure you get the best room.”
“Is that a bribe?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep the tone light despite the fluttering in my stomach.
He leaned back, crossing his arms with a mock-serious expression. “Absolutely. It’ll be awesome, and you won’t have to pay rent. Think about it—pizza nights, movie marathons. You know you love hanging out with me.”
I snorted. “I can’t just mooch off of you, Jae. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
His smile faded, replaced by a vulnerability I rarely saw. “Why not?”
I hesitated, searching for the right words. “I just think…it might complicate things. We already spend so much time together at work.”
He frowned, a hint of hurt flashing in his eyes. “Complicate things how? We’re best friends, Vee. What’s wrong with living together?”
I sighed, trying to soothe the rising tension. “It’s not about that. It’s about needing some space, you know? A place to unwind and recharge without…without work constantly looming over us.”
Jae’s expression hardened slightly, his defensiveness kicking in. “So what, you’re saying I’d be a burden?”
“No, of course not,” I quickly interjected, reaching out to touch his hand. “It’s just…we both need a break sometimes. And I don’t want us to get on each other’s nerves.”
He pulled his hand back, crossing his arms again. “You think I’d get on your nerves?”
I could see the walls going up, the familiar mask of indifference slipping into place. “Jae, that’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?” he pressed, his tone sharper than before. “Because it sounds like you don’t want to be around me more than you have to.”
“That’s not it at all,” I insisted, frustration creeping into my voice. “I just think it’s healthy to have some boundaries. To keep work and personal life separate.”
He huffed, looking away. “Maybe I don’t want to keep them separate.”
The admission hung in the air, heavy with unspoken meaning. I bit my lip, unsure how to navigate the sudden shift. “Jae…”
“Forget it,” he muttered, his jaw tight. “I was just trying to help.”
“I know,” I said softly. “And I appreciate it. Really. But I think we need to find balance first.”
He didn’t respond, his gaze fixed on some distant point beyond our table. The silence stretched, fraught with unspoken emotions. I wanted to reach out, to tell him that I understood, that I felt the same way. But the words caught in my throat, tangled with my own fears and doubts.
Finally, Jae sighed, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Fine. I get it.”
We ate in relative silence after that, the clinking of cutlery and muted conversations around us filling the void. I was acutely aware of every moment that passed, feeling the weight of our earlier conversation still hanging in the air. Jae seemed lost in his thoughts, occasionally glancing up at me with an unreadable expression.
As if sensing the tension, the waiter arrived with the cake I had requested. It was a small, beautifully decorated chocolate cake with “Happy Birthday Jae” written in elegant script. Candles flickered on top, casting a warm glow across the table.
I tried to lighten the mood, putting on my best smile. “Make a wish, birthday boy,” I said, my voice attempting cheerfulness.
Jae looked at the cake, then at me, his eyes locking with mine. The intensity of his gaze made my heart skip a beat. There was something there, something deep and unspoken, that made the air between us crackle with tension.
After a moment, he blew out the candles, the flames flickering out in a puff of smoke.
I clapped softly, trying to keep the atmosphere light. “What did you wish for?”
He gave me a half smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I can’t tell you, or it won’t come true.”
“That’s the rule, huh?” I teased, trying to bring back our usual flirty banter.
“Yup,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Besides, I don’t want any cake. You eat it.”
I frowned, feeling a pang of disappointment. “But it’s your birthday cake.”
He shrugged, looking almost apologetic. “I just don’t have much of an appetite right now. You enjoy it.”
I hesitated, then nodded, cutting a slice of the cake and taking a bite. The rich chocolate melted in my mouth, but it tasted bittersweet in the current atmosphere. I glanced at Jae, hoping to find a way to bridge the gap that had formed between us.
Just then, his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen, his expression tightening. “I need to take this,” he said, standing up and stepping away from the table.
As he walked off, talking into the phone, I felt a mix of frustration and sadness. This dinner was supposed to be a celebration, a chance for us to reconnect. But instead, it had turned into another reminder of how work was consuming him, pulling him away from everything else.
I took another bite of the cake, trying to focus on the sweetness instead of the growing ache in my chest. Jae’s voice drifted back to me, low and urgent as he discussed something with whoever was on the other end of the line.
I couldn’t help but wonder if this was how it was always going to be—me waiting, hoping for a moment of his time, while he was constantly pulled away by the demands of his growing business. The thought was almost too much to bear, and I blinked back the sting of tears.
When Jae finally returned, he looked even more exhausted than before. “Sorry about that,” he said, sliding back into his seat. “Just some urgent work stuff.”
I forced a smile, pushing the rest of the cake towards him. “It’s okay. Here, at least have a bite of your cake.”
He took the fork from me, cutting a small piece and eating it. “Thanks, Vee. For everything.”
“You’re welcome,” I said softly, wishing things could be different. Wishing that for once, work wouldn’t come between us. But even as we sat there, I knew that this was the reality of our lives now—me constantly trying to reach him, and him always just out of reach.