19. Misunder（STAND）
VERENA
19
The rattling of the subway tracks was like a metronome, keeping time with the pounding of my heart. Riding the train from New York to Jersey was a regular part of my routine since I visited Mom often, but today, the trip felt unusually grave. I clutched my phone in one hand, the other gripping the cold metal pole, my mind spinning with how I was going to break the news to her.
I had texted Laura and Luke to meet me there for moral support. A part of me feared this revelation would be rough, and I wanted allies—just in case. Laura always knew how to handle my mom, while Luke could defuse any tension with his humor.
“Almost there,” I muttered to myself, the words swallowed by the noise of the train. The dingy walls of the tunnel flickered past, and I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what was to come.
When the train finally pulled into the station, I hustled out with the rest of the crowd. The familiar, comforting scent of Jersey air—part greenery, part car exhaust—greeted me as I emerged onto the street. Mom’s house was only a short walk away, nestled in a cozy neighborhood with tree-lined streets and charming, if slightly worn, houses.
Mom’s house was my sanctuary growing up—a place of affection and love, where the kitchen always smelled of home-cooked meals and the walls were filled with laughter. I walked up the path, noticing the meticulous garden Mom tended to religiously, the flowers a riot of color against the green lawn. I took a deep breath and opened the door, the scent of my favorite foods wafting through the air—a sure sign she was already in host mode.
“Mom, I’m here!” I called out, shrugging off my coat and hanging it on the familiar hook by the door. The sound of clattering dishes from the kitchen told me she was putting the finishing touches on our meal.
“In the kitchen, sweetheart!” she replied, her voice welcoming. I stepped inside, the sight of her bustling around the kitchen filling me with nostalgia and dread.
“Hey, Mom,” I said, giving her a quick hug. “Thanks for making all my favorites.”
“Anything for you, honey,” she said, beaming. “Now, tell me what’s got you so worked up that you needed reinforcements.” Her eyes flicked to the living room where Laura and Luke were already making themselves comfortable.
“Verena, you know the last time you needed backup, we ended up bailing you out after the whole male stripper incident,” Luke teased, grinning widely as he lounged on the couch.
“You promised never to bring that up again!” I joked.
“We just want to know why we’re here. Is it ‘strippers at the office’ bad or ‘burning down the kitchen’ bad?” Laura asked with a grin.
“It’s not bad. Just an announcement.”
As we moved to the kitchen table, I glanced around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings that always brought a sense of comfort. The kitchen was a perfect blend of cozy and chaotic—mom’s penchant for eclectic decor evident in the mismatched chairs around the vintage wooden table. The walls were a soft pastel yellow, adorned with framed family photos and quirky knickknacks she had collected over the years.
Her chihuahua, Muffin, came in through the doggie door—barely. He was so fat from all the food mom gave him he waddled everywhere, too tired and old to greet me.
“Alright, everyone, let’s sit down and eat before the food gets cold,” I said, motioning for everyone to take a seat.
As we all settled in, Mom looked at me with an expectant gaze, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Just spit it out, Verena. You already quit your job; what else could there be?”
I took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. This was it, the moment of truth. “I’m dating Jae.”
There was a beat of silence, the room suddenly feeling a lot smaller. The anticipation hung heavy in the air, my mother’s eyes widening in disbelief. Then, to my complete surprise, she burst out laughing. Not just a chuckle, but a full, hearty laugh that echoed off the walls. She laughed so hard, tears formed at the corners of her eyes, and she had to clutch her stomach.
“Yeah right, okay,” she said between giggles, wiping her eyes. “Tell me the truth now, Verena.”
I stared at her, bewildered. “Mom, I am telling the truth.”
Her laughter subsided into sporadic giggles, and she looked at me, still incredulous. “You’re serious? You, dating that arrogant CEO who can barely remember to say please and thank you? Verena, come on.”
“Dead serious,” I replied, my insides twisting with nerves.
She shook her head, a skeptical smile still playing on her lips. “So, what? He suddenly developed a personality overnight? Or did you finally lose a bet?”
My friends exchanged amused glances, clearly enjoying the spectacle.
“I’m serious, Mom,” I insisted. “Jae and I are dating. It’s been a few months now.”
Her laughter faded into a disbelieving chuckle as she took in my serious expression. “You mean to tell me that, after all these years of complaining about that man, you’re now dating him? I don’t believe it.”
Luke puffed out his chest, looking as macho as he could manage. “He’s not your type.”
I arched an eyebrow, amused. “Oh really? And how do you know my type?”
Luke blushed, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “I pay attention. You like them…uh…tall, with dark hair, a bit scruffy but in a ruggedly handsome way. Preferably wearing a flannel shirt and those well-worn jeans that look like they’ve seen some actual work. Oh, and a pair of beat-up boots that have clearly walked through a few adventures.”
I looked at him, taking in his current outfit—a perfect match to the description he just gave. He wore a red flannel shirt rolled up at the sleeves, jeans that had definitely seen better days, and his old brown boots that had been through countless escapades with me.
Laura snorted, nearly choking on her drink. “Wow, Luke, way to subtly describe yourself.”
“Smooth,” Mom added.
Luke’s blush deepened, and he shot me a sheepish grin. “Well, I guess I know your type better than I thought.”
I shook my head, chuckling. “Nice try, Luke. But Jae…he surprised me. It’s more about who he is, not just what he looks like.”
“Yeah, sure,” Luke mumbled, still looking embarrassed but managing a smile.
Mom leaned forward, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. “Okay, spill. What’s the real secret?”
I sighed, feeling the pressure of their skepticism. “That is the secret, Mom.”
Mom crossed her arms. “No, really.”
I nodded, trying to appear earnest. “Really.”
She glanced at Laura, a knowing look passing between them. “I think we need to take her to the hospital. She’s clearly delusional.”
“No, seriously. We’ve been dating in secret for a while. Working for him was hurting our relationship.”
Laura deadpanned, “Because he’s such an asshole?”
Mom nodded aggressively, her eyes wide with agreement. “Exactly! He’s always seemed so…demanding.”
I rolled my eyes, exasperated but amused. “He’s not that bad, guys. He’s just…driven.”
Luke snorted. “Driven? That’s one way to put it.”
I could feel my mom’s gaze bore into me. “You tell me everything, Vee, and you expect me to believe you’ve been secretly dating him for months?”
I nodded slowly, trying to appear confident.
“So, you’ve been lying to me?” she pressed, her voice rising with incredulity. “Why would you tell me how awful he is if you’re dating him? What’s really going on, Vee?”
I squirmed under their collective stare. Their judgment was almost unbearable. I couldn’t tell them the truth, not just because my mom wouldn’t approve but also because I’d signed an ironclad NDA. “I just wasn’t ready,” I finally said, shrugging helplessly. “I knew how you felt about him.”
“Damn right,” Mom retorted, her eyes narrowing. She launched into a rant about how Jae treated me, her voice rising with each accusation. “He bosses you around, expects you to be at his beck and call, and never shows any appreciation! And now you’re dating him?”
Laura jumped in, shaking her head. “This is a terrible idea, Vee. You deserve so much better than Jae.”
Luke, usually the jokester, looked vulnerable, his eyes filled with genuine concern. “Why would you want someone who treats you like shit, Verena? It doesn’t make sense.”
I could feel the frustration building, the pressure of their expectations and my own guilt. I stood abruptly, my chair scraping loudly against the floor. “We’re dating. End of story.” Grabbing a breadstick from the table, I stormed out of the house, ignoring their calls for me to come back.
The cool air hit my face as I stepped outside, the anger and sadness swirling inside me like a storm. How had I ended up here, caught in this web of lies? Pissed at Jae for putting me in this situation, and even more pissed at myself for agreeing to it, I walked briskly down the sidewalk, fuming.
Then I saw it—a small, scrappy cat sitting by the side of the road, looking up at me with big, hopeful eyes. Its orange fur was matted and dirty, and it looked like it had been through a rough time. “Great,” I muttered, bending down to scratch its head. “Just what I need right now.”
The cat rubbed against my hand, purring softly. Despite my frustration, I felt a pang of pity for the little creature. It was as lost and stuck as I felt. The parallel struck me hard, and for a moment, I just sat there, stroking the cat and thinking about the mess my life had become.
“You know what?” I said aloud, scooping the cat up into my arms. “If Jae is going to control my life, I might as well make it as difficult as possible for him.”
The cat nestled into my arms, purring even louder, and I felt a surprising sense of comfort from its presence. As I stood up, I realized this small act of defiance—adopting a stray cat—was a tiny step towards reclaiming some control over my own life.
With the cat cradled in my arms, I headed back toward the subway station. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. This whole thing had been a terrible idea. I was mad at Jae for putting me in this position, sad that I was now fighting with my mom and best friends, and frustrated that I felt so trapped.
As the train rattled along the tracks, I glanced down at the cat, who had settled comfortably in my lap. “Guess we’re stuck together now,” I said softly, feeling a tiny flicker of resolve. “Let’s see how Jae likes dealing with us both.”