37. （SWEET）heart
VERENA
37
The bridal gown shop was elegant and pristine, filled with rows of beautiful dresses that sparkled under the soft lighting. I stood in front of a full-length mirror, feeling a mix of emotions that I couldn’t quite untangle. I wasn’t necessarily mad at Jae. It had been an emotional moment when Auntie asked us to get married soon. He was put on the spot and wanted to give a woman we both loved her dying wish. But that didn’t mean I was thrilled about going through with this wedding. The original plan was a nine-month engagement. Now, I was buying a wedding dress. It was too much. Too soon.
The dress attendant, a kind woman named Elise, helped me into a gown that was undeniably pretty. It was an A-line dress with intricate lace detailing and a sweetheart neckline. The fabric flowed gracefully, hugging my curves in all the right places. I stepped out of the dressing room and into the main area where Jae was sitting, looking surprisingly comfortable in a place he clearly didn’t frequent.
As soon as he looked up and saw me, I noticed his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. His eyes roamed over me, taking in every detail of the gown. The sexual tension between us was tangible, an electric current that seemed to hum in the air. But then, his expression shifted. He frowned, noticing my lack of enthusiasm.
“You look beautiful,” he said softly, his voice filled with genuine admiration. “Why don’t you look happy?”
I shrugged, trying to keep my tone neutral. “Well, it’s not real, so it doesn’t matter what I wear, yeah? Do you like it?”
He sighed, his eyes softening. “I want you to like it.”
“I don’t have to like it,” I retorted, my frustration bubbling to the surface.
Jae’s jaw tightened, but he kept his voice calm. “Try on one that makes you smile, then.”
I huffed and disappeared back into the dressing room. Elise patiently helped me try on gown after gown, but none of them brought a smile to my face. It wasn’t the dress; it was the idea behind it. This wasn’t how I envisioned picking out my wedding dress—under the weight of an obligation rather than joy.
Finally, I found a beaded mermaid gown that exposed my entire back. The intricate beading shimmered with every movement, catching the light and drawing attention to the delicate details that adorned the fabric. The gown hugged my curves perfectly, flaring out at the knees into a stunning train that flowed gracefully behind me. It was an astonishing dress, one that made me feel beautiful.
I sighed and said, “Fine, we can try this one.”
As I stepped out of the dressing room, I couldn’t help but feel a tiny, reluctant smile tugging at the corners of my lips. The reaction was immediate. Jae’s eyes lit up with a brightness I hadn’t seen in a long time. He stood up, his body language shifting from relaxed to intensely focused. His gaze roamed over me, drinking in every detail of the gown and how it clung to my body.
“That’s the one,” he said with conviction, his voice steady and unyielding.
I tried to brush it off, forcing a casual tone. “Whatever. If you like it, that’s fine.”
But Jae wasn’t having it. He turned to the shop owner, who had been watching us with curiosity. “I’ll give you fifty thousand dollars to let us have the shop for two hours. Alone.”
The shop owner’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Uh, sir?—”
“Seventy-five thousand,” Jae interrupted, his voice firm.
The owner blinked, then nodded quickly. “Deal.”
As she and the other attendants left, giggling softly, I turned to Jae, my confusion turning into irritation. “What are you doing?”
He didn’t answer immediately, his eyes still locked onto mine. The shop felt unnaturally quiet, the echo of the door closing behind the attendants leaving a tension in the air. He took a step closer, the commanding presence of the CEO I knew so well radiating from him.
“I needed us to be alone,” he said, his voice low but filled with authority. “There are things we need to talk about, and I don’t want any interruptions.”
I crossed my arms, the voluminous dress rustling slightly. “You didn’t have to buy out the entire shop just for that.”
“Yes, I did,” he insisted. “Because you keep avoiding the conversation we need to have.”
I felt a mix of anger and vulnerability welling up inside me. “What conversation, Jae? About Auntie’s wish? About how we’re supposed to get married when we’re not even really together?”
He moved closer, his presence almost overwhelming. “No, Verena. About us. About what’s real and what’s not. About what I feel for you and what I know you feel for me.”
I opened my mouth to protest, but he cut me off, his voice taking on that domineering edge I had come to both despise and crave.
“Stop pretending this doesn’t matter,” he said, his tone softer but no less intense. “I know you, Verena. I know how you think, how you feel. You’ve been hiding, running away from this, but you can’t anymore. Not when everything is on the line.”
He stepped closer, his eyes searching mine with a seriousness that took my breath away. “Tell me what’s wrong, Verena. I know this isn’t just about the dress.”
I could feel the heat radiating from his body, the way his gaze seemed to pierce right through me. The tension between us was thick, a force that made the air around us crackle with electricity. Every inch of my skin felt hyperaware of his proximity, the way his breath hitched slightly as he took me in.
“It’s everything, Jae. This wasn’t the plan. It’s too soon, too fast. And it feels…wrong. I don’t know how to make myself feel right about it.”
Jae reached out and gently took my hands in his, his touch warm and grounding. “I know it’s a lot, and I know it’s not how we planned it. But we’re doing this for Auntie. And I want to make it as real and as right for you as possible.”
I looked down at our intertwined hands, feeling the familiar spark that always seemed to burn whenever we touched. “But it’s not real. It’s just for show.”
He stepped closer. “Do you like me, Verena?”
“I’d feel better knowing if you like me.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “If you have to ask that, then I’ve failed miserably.”
My insecurities spilled out before I could stop them. “Can you blame me? We’ve worked together for years, been friends for years, and not once did things turn…awkward. You never once hinted that you liked me in that way. We’ve shared beds, we’ve?—”
Jae cut me off, his voice firm but gentle. “Verena, I’ve been an idiot. I thought keeping my distance would protect our friendship. I didn’t want to risk what we had. But that night in the car, it changed everything for me. I’ve wanted you for a long time, but I was too afraid to admit it.”
I stared at him, my heart pounding. “Why now, Jae? Why not before?”
He stepped even closer, his presence overwhelming. “Because I can’t keep pretending anymore. I can’t keep watching you from the sidelines, wishing you were mine. I need you to know how I feel, even if it scares the hell out of me.”
I searched his eyes, seeing the raw honesty and vulnerability there. “And how do you feel, Jae?”
“Hold up,” he interrupted, raising a hand. He went to his briefcase, which he carried everywhere, and pulled out that damn notebook—the one I had slammed on his desk in anger. My heart pounded as he flipped through the pages.
“Let’s go through this,” he said, his voice softer now.
I blinked, taken aback. “What?”
“February fourteenth, the tulips. You love tulips, and Auntie mentioned once that they were your favorite. I wanted you to have them. And you’d been so stressed. I thought…I thought it would be a fun project for you.
“April seventh, Tokyo. I wanted you to see the cherry blossoms. You talked about them all the time.”
He looked up, his eyes intense and pleading. “I wasn’t trying to control you, Vee. I was trying to make you happy in the only ways I knew how.”
My mind reeled as I processed his words, my heart beating erratically. “And the personal dates I missed?”
His expression softened, making his usually composed face look almost boyish. “I was jealous, Vee. Every time you went out with someone else, it drove me crazy. I couldn’t stand the thought of you with anyone else.”
I stared at him, my heart aching with the importance of his confession. My breath hitched, and I had to look away for a moment, the intensity of his gaze too much to bear. “Jae…”
“I’ve been too scared to ruin things, so I didn’t say how I felt. But I can’t deny it anymore.”
Tears filled my eyes as the reality of his words sank in. Every beat of my heart seemed to echo with the truth of his confession. “You really mean it?”
He nodded, eyes shimmering with unspoken emotions. “I do. And I want you to know that I will do whatever it takes to make this real. For us, for Auntie.”
“Jae, I…”
He reached out, taking my hand in his, his grip firm yet gentle. “Please, Vee. Let me show you how much you mean to me.”
The sincerity in his eyes was almost unbearable. The man who was usually so guarded, so in control, was laying his heart bare before me. I could see the fear, the hopelessness in his gaze. It was as if he were holding his breath, waiting for me to either save him or break him.
I closed my eyes. The room seemed to shrink, the air thick with tension and unspoken truths. I could hear my own heartbeat, feel the warmth of his hand and the overwhelming need to believe him, to let go of all the doubts and fears.
And then, without warning, he kissed me. He didn’t ask for permission, but the moment our lips touched, it was obvious he’d been longing for this. His hands gripped me with a fervent need. The kiss was intense, raw, and full of unspoken emotion. His lips moved hungrily against mine, and I felt the world melt away.
He sank his teeth into my bottom lip, a guttural groan escaping him as he pulled me even closer. The sound vibrated through me. I could feel the way he poured everything he couldn’t say into the connection between us.
I responded in kind, my hands sliding up his chest to wrap around his neck, pulling him deeper into the kiss. The air around us crackled with tension, and I felt like I was drowning in him, in the intensity of his need and the raw vulnerability he was showing.
His grip on me tightened, and he groaned into my mouth again. Every touch, every movement was filled with a need that was almost tangible. It was as if he was trying to make up for all the times he hadn’t kissed me, all the moments he’d held back.
When we finally broke apart, we were both breathing heavily, our foreheads pressed together. His eyes were dark with desire.
“If you don’t get out of this dress, I’ll rip it from your body, baby,” he rasped. He pulled me in tight and grabbed the zipper at my back, easing it down. With the zipper undone, Jae slipped the dress off my body, leaving me in my underwear. His eyes lingered on the sight before him, hunger and desire shining in his irises.
He grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the couch in the dressing lounge. In one swift motion, he pushed me onto it. I could tell this was just as much a turn-on for him as it was for me, his every touch eliciting whimpers from deep within me.
As he leaned in to kiss me, I felt the tension in his muscles dissipate little by little. His hands began to explore my body, making me feel desired, loved, cherished. Each touch, each kiss, was filled with a promise that he would never hold back again.
He freed my breasts from the strapless bra I wore and immediately sucked on my nipple, his teeth grazing the hardened peak. I arched closer to him. “These fucking tits.” He kneaded my breasts before flicking my nipple with his tongue and looking at me with heavy eyes. “I’ve never wanted something so bad in my goddamn life.”
“Take off your clothes, Jae.”
I didn’t have to tell him twice.
He stood up and began to undress, his movements slow and deliberate. Each piece of clothing falling to the floor seemed to add to the intensity of the moment. I watched him, my heart pounding in my chest, as he revealed his toned body beneath his clothes.
He stood before me, fully naked and more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. His cock was hard and ready, the tip glistening with precum.
“You’re so hard,” I whispered. “Do you have a condom?”
He cursed. “I don’t. But I’ll come wherever you want me to. I’ll make a mess on my fucking stomach if it means you’ll touch me, baby.”
“Then let’s make a mess,” I whispered, my voice filled with equal parts desire and nervousness.
He looked at me for a moment, his eyes searching mine for consent, for a sign that I was truly ready for this. I nodded, and he grabbed me, pulling me close and kissing me deeply. The warmth of his body against mine was exhilarating, and I could feel his cock pressing against me, a forceful reminder how much he ached for me.
He prodded at my entrance as I bent my knees and opened my thighs. He rested his forehead against mine and rasped, “Tell me I’m not allowed to come yet.”
“Why?”
“Because you deserve at least half a dozen orgasms before I do. And my cock might have a mind of its own, but it’ll listen to you.”
My voice trembled with desire. “Make me feel good, Jae.”
He thrust inside of me, slowly at first, stretching me inch by glorious inch, but soon picking up speed.
I moaned and clung to him, my nails digging into his back. This was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. Our connection was primal and raw, our passion insatiable.
Jae’s lips trailed hotly down my neck, leaving marks as he nibbled and sucked on my skin. His body never stopped moving, each thrust taking me higher and higher with pleasure.
“God, Vee,” he groaned, his voice husky and pleading. “You’re driving me crazy. You feel so fucking good.”
The scent of sex and sweat hung in the air. Jae’s cologne wafted around us, adding to the electrifying atmosphere.
“Vee, I need you to come,” he panted. “Please, I need you to come. I need it more than anything.”
I gripped his shoulders, feeling his strength beneath my fingertips. Every touch of his skin against mine sent shivers of pleasure through me. His chest pressed against mine, the heat of his breath fanning across my neck.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jae’s body trembled, his face contorted in intense pleasure as he repeated the word over and over. His curses turned to whimpers. It was as if the words were molten lava, scorching and desperate as they spilled from his lips, melting into a pool of vulnerability and need.
Jae’s panting and moaning filled the room. The sounds of flesh slapping against flesh and our bodies moving together in synchronized, frantic fucking filled the room.
And just like that, my body exploded with pleasure. I cried out his name, my body writhing underneath him as I felt the waves of orgasm wash over me. Jae’s eyes widened with surprise and delight as he felt me tighten around him, pulling him even closer.
As he neared the peak of pleasure, his body became a coiled spring, his muscles taut and ready to release. With one final thrust, he let out a guttural cry. As he pulled out and spilled onto my stomach, I felt the warmth of his release against my skin, a tingle that spread throughout my body. His eyes, once filled with desire, now rolled back as if overcome by the intensity of it all.
My mouth was dry and my lips were tingling, as if his pleasure was radiating through my body.
We lay there, panting and entwined, our bodies still shaking with the aftereffects of our intense passion. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his skin glistening with a sheen of sweat. I could feel his heart pounding against me, the rhythm syncing with my own. A contented sigh escaped my lips as I savored the warmth of his body pressed against mine.
My breath came in ragged gasps as the now-familiar waves of pleasure slowly subsided. “Holy shit,” I managed to say, my voice still shaky with the remnants of my orgasm. I couldn’t believe what had just happened—I had just slept with my best friend.
We had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed.
And I wasn’t mad about it.