Chapter Fourteen #2
He refused to take his frustration out on Rachel.
He knew she was only doing her job. But this was a prime example of why he was reluctant to bring in outside consultants.
If his parents had just trusted him and given him a brief amount of time, he could have walked them through his entire estate strategy.
He would have made the changes, but on his timeline and in his priority order.
But every time he tried to discuss or have a meeting to go over his 5-year plan for the estate, they refused. Cal tried not to be hurt by their blunt dismissal, but it was tough not too when they so quickly dismissed his ideas.
Honestly, they never would have listened anyway—as much as he hoped things were different.
He had to be realistic. Even if he had created the most amazing plan under the sun, they wouldn’t have trusted his analysis nor his competence to accomplish it.
They would believe strangers, outside consultants, but not their own son.
Cal forced himself to physically relax before responding. “I realize that you and your company would be here to assist. I’m sure with your help, it would be a fairly smooth transition.
“It’s that with any change like this, no matter how well planned or executed, it’s going to hit unforeseen snags. It’s just the nature of the beast.
“I understand you and the firm would rather have a software you can interface with better, but ultimately, my parents will not approve spending money and time on a venture they are thinking of ending.”
“Well actually,” Rachel said. “They’ve approved the upgrade.”
Surely, he had not heard that correctly. “I’m sorry. What was that?”
“I said,” Rachel replied hesitantly. “Your parents approved getting new software.”
Anger roared through him, although he tried to temper his reaction.
This was already a done deal. “So, you saw the need for the software. Pitched it to my parents, who then approved it?” Cal was seven levels of stupid for even thinking this was a discussion.
Rachel wasn’t here to talk to him about potentially making this change.
She was here to inform him of the change.
“I did see the necessity of the software…”
“And didn’t think to maybe discuss that with me,” Cal interjected, unable to hold his tongue.
“I was talking to my boss…”
Fury was pulsing along Cal’s every nerve ending, making him want to scream.
He just couldn’t hear anymore. “Whatever my parents want, you make sure they get, right? My work here, what I’m trying to do, doesn’t even register with you, does it?
Can you even begin to understand what this place means to me? ”
“I do, Cal…” Rachel attempted to respond.
“You can’t. You can’t begin to fathom anything close to what this place is. Have you ever invested your every breath, your every minute to something? Only to know that all you are and all you give will never be enough?
“No. You consult for businesses. You come in and assess and leave. You’re protected, closed off, from any emotional impact.
You never have skin in the game. You can always walk away and move on to the next project.
” Cal hated what he was saying, but now that he’d started, he couldn’t seem to stop his mouth from spewing more.
Rachel jumped to her feet, facing him head on, her hands planted on her hips.
“That’s colossally unfair, Cal,” she shouted.
“I didn’t go to your parents. My boss did.
I thought he intended to research potential solutions.
Him running off and pitching it to your mother and father was a surprise to me.
I didn’t even initiate the possibility of new software,” she added, her hands flying up in exasperation. “My boss did!”
She looked magnificent, ready to kick him from here to the state border.
It was an odd thought to cross his mind right then.
But then he actually took in what she was saying.
She truly had done nothing. Even if she did, that was part of her work.
He could no more ask her to do a poor job than he’d be willing to ask himself. And that would never happen.
Cal slumped forward in the chair, resting his forearms on his knees.
The anger wasn’t gone, but controlled. On top of it now was guilt.
Taking a slow breath, he looked up and said, “I understand, Rachel. I’m sorry,” he let her see the sincerity in his eyes.
“I’m an ass. I apologize for taking my anger out on you. ”
Rachel continued as if she hadn’t heard him, although she was no longer shouting at least. “And even if I knew he was going to do that, Cal, I would not have stopped him. You know why? Because he’s my boss, that’s why.
Can you understand that? And your parents,” she sighed heavily. “Your parents are my clients, Cal.”
He stood, resting his hand on her arm, ignoring the jolt of energy that danced across his skin when they touched. Leaning down, he looked her in the eye and said, “I was out of line, Rachel.”
He remained still until he knew she had heard him. When she relaxed, he straightened up but couldn’t bring himself to remove his hand just yet. “You’re right. What I said was unfair, and I’ll add, uncalled for.”
He withdrew his hand and stepped away. Looking down, he added, “I guess it just hit a nerve. I’m sorry I reacted like that.”
“I get it, Cal.”
He looked up, noticing her twisting her hands and licking her lips. How could he be angry and frustrated while still feeling attracted to this woman?
“I appreciate you coming to tell me,” he said, still struggling with the rage that boiled just below the surface. He couldn’t be near her right now. He would either take his emotions out on her or stand around struck dumb with his attraction to her. Neither option was very appealing.
“I’m gonna go,” he said. “I just need to take a walk. Think through some things.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yes. Please excuse me.” He pivoted and headed toward the patio doors. Looking back, he said, “And Rachel, thank you again for the coffee and pastry. It was very considerate of you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She forced a smile, and he slipped out the door. It wasn’t until he was overlooking the ocean that he took his first deep breath, forcing himself to slow down.
He was surprised by how deeply Rachel’s news affected him. He thought he had come to terms with his parents’ constant disapproval and dismissal. By now, he should be immune. Guess he hadn’t fully let that go.
Or maybe it was that it had come from Rachel.
It felt like she diminished him too. Not even consulting him on putting new software in place.
He could see where he’d assumed a lot. And she was right.
It was unfair of him to be upset about the project functioning as it was.
She was here to do a job. And her job was to serve her clients—his parents.
The hardest part was, even with telling himself all that, it still hurt that she appeared to be siding with his parents. He didn’t want to create that association, but questioned whether it was possible to divorce the two.
He stood there listening to the ocean, letting the sounds of the waves roll over him. Wishing they could wash away his thoughts.