Chapter 9
LOGAN
It’s been hours since I dropped Bree off, and I can’t stop thinking about her.
I’m nursing the same beer I got out of the refrigerator two hours ago, my feet are propped up on the coffee table, and there’s something on the television, but for the life of me, I couldn’t tell you what is happening on the screen.
No matter how hard I try to clear my head, all I can think about is Bree and all the unanswered questions I have.
What is it about these nightmares she’s having?
She never had nightmares when we were together.
And what was Aiden talking about when he said he thought I could be one of the guys from the city?
And then her acting like she didn’t cheat on me and break my heart.
Fuck, why did she look so devastated when I said I was going for coffee with Amy?
She was broken-hearted, and no matter how much I want to hate her, I can’t.
I hated seeing that look in her eyes, but it’s even worse knowing I put it there.
I lift my arm and look at my watch. Eleven o’clock.
I’m sure she’s asleep. The need to talk to her or to at least know she’s okay is overwhelming. I wish I could turn this need for her off, but I can’t.
Without second-guessing myself, I grab my truck keys off the coffee table and stand up.
I’m in shorts and a T-shirt that I changed into after my shower.
I hastily put on socks and shoes and am out the door not a minute later.
I’m not sure what the urgency is all about, but I just need to get to her.
I park on the side of the street and look up at her apartment window.
Savage Ink is still lit up, and I can see two people in there, but Bree’s light upstairs is off.
I turn off my truck and just stare into her dark window.
I don’t know what I thought I’d see, but there’s a calm that comes over me, knowing she’s safe and in her bed.
The light comes on as I'm about to push the button to start my truck. My heart starts to race. Did she have a nightmare? Or is it something else?
I watch her pass by the window, and I know I can’t sit out here a second longer.
I grab my keys, get out, and am crossing the street with my eyes trained on her window.
I try the door at the bottom of the stairs, expecting it to be locked, but it’s not.
I’ll be addressing that with her landlord, Aiden, in the morning.
I take the stairs two at a time and don’t stop until I’m standing in front of her door.
I lift my hand to knock but think twice about it.
It’s going to freak her out if she hears someone knocking at her door this late at night.
I pull my phone from my pocket and find her name in my contacts.
The first thing I do is unblock her. Then I hit the button to call her.
I can hear the phone ringing in her apartment, and almost immediately, she answers. “Logan… is that you?”
“I’m standing outside your door. Come open it?”
“What… what are you doing here?”
She opens the door, and I turn the phone off and pocket it. The sight before me tells me I made the right call. Her eyes are swollen, telling me she’s been crying. Her hair is wild on her head, and she looks exhausted.
I push my way into her apartment, and without saying a word, I shut the door, lock it, and kick off my shoes.
I walk through the living room, down the hall, and stop outside her bedroom door.
Her scent envelops me, and it’s going to take all the strength I have to do what I’m thinking about doing.
I turn and see that she’s following behind me, watching me curiously.
“What are you doing here, Logan?”
Without answering her, I take a deep breath and walk to the side of the bed.
The one she doesn’t sleep on. I pull my shirt off and toss it to the chair.
I ignore Bree’s gasp as I pull my phone out and set it on the nightstand and then climb into bed, making sure to stay on top of the covers.
I pat the bed beside me. “Come on. Lie down.”
She’s frozen in the doorway. “Logan… I don’t think this is going to fix anything.”
I grimace. She thinks I’m here to fuck her. I mean, I want to. Hell, I want to so badly my cock twitches just thinking about it, but that’s not why I’m here.
I grunt in frustration. “I’m not here to fuck, Bree. I’m here so you can actually get some sleep.”
She takes a step toward me and stops. “What? You’re here because… I’ve been having nightmares?”
I shrug. “You want to sleep, right? I’m here so you can sleep.”
“But—” she starts, but I don’t let her finish. I know she probably has a hundred questions about why I’m here, or why I care, but I’m not ready to answer any of them.
“Get in the bed, Bree.”
She just stands there, staring at me, and I sit up. “Honey, you’re exhausted. I just want to give you one night of peace, that’s all. This has nothing to do with your job, with our past, nothing. I just… I just need you to get some rest, okay?”
Slowly, she reaches for the light and turns off the switch. She starts walking toward the bed, and I hold my breath. She sits down next to me, sliding under the covers, and it’s like she’s been holding her breath too because it comes out in a whoosh.
Lying here in darkness, with only the street lamp outside coming through the blind, I can make out her eyes. She’s staring at the ceiling, and I know she doesn’t know what to think of all this.
“Why have you been crying, Bree?”
She clenches her eyes shut but doesn’t say a word.
I turn toward her, making sure I don’t touch her. Her scent surrounds me, and I want to inhale it deep into my lungs, but I don’t because I know it’s just torture. “Bree, talk to me.”
She looks over at me. “I was upset earlier, but I shouldn’t put any of it on you. It’s not your job to deal with my uh, stuff.”
Her answer only confuses me more, but before I can ask her to explain it, she continues. “I was crying because it hit me… we’re over… and I can’t do anything about it.”
I want to lash out at her, but I bite my tongue. I want to ask her why she did it, why she cheated on me, but I don’t. There’s no reason to rehash the past because no matter what, I'll never trust her again. Not like I did.
“Talk to me about the nightmares.”
“What do you want to know, Logan? They started two years ago, but they are worse lately. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t sleep more than an hour or two at a time.”
I put a finger to my chest. “Are you saying it’s because of me and what happened between us two years ago?”
She shakes her head. “No, but after you left, I had some, uh, issues. It’s been since then.”
I want to ask her about it, but I don’t.
“Okay, what can I do to help?”
She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I just need to feel safe, that’s all.”
“Safe? Are you not safe here?”
She shrugs and rolls to her back to stare up at the ceiling again. “Just forget it, Logan.”
I stare at her in the darkness, and a need like I’ve never felt before comes over me. More than anything in this moment, I want her to feel safe. I can do that for her. Even if it’s just for tonight.
My voice husky, I tell her, “Come over here.”
She gasps. “What did you say?”
I groan. “You know what I said. You want to sleep, come over here and let me hold you so you can sleep.”
She looks at me. “You want to hold me?”
Fuck, I wish I could say no. I shouldn’t want to hold her.
Hell, I shouldn’t even want to be near her, but knowing she was here, hurting, scared, or whatever she’s feeling was driving me nuts, and I couldn’t just sit at my house and do nothing.
“I want to help you sleep, that’s all. You work for me, and you’re no use if you’re exhausted all the time. ”
She gasps, offended. “I’m on time every day. I work overtime most days. I’m heading off problems before they happen and—”
I cut her off. “I get it. I know. You work hard, and you’ve taken my dreams for my business and helped make it a reality. I owe you. So come here and let me hold you so you can try and sleep through the night.”