Chapter 11
LOGAN
Walking out of Bree’s apartment was hard this morning.
But getting out of her bed was damn near impossible.
I wanted to roll her to her back and slide into her, but I resisted.
She slept through the night. That was what I wanted, and it happened, but now I can’t stop thinking about her.
I went to the gym and ran harder than I had in a long time, just trying to expend some of this extra energy.
I went to my sister’s house, and she made me try a bunch of new recipes she’s been experimenting with.
I caught Zach up with what’s been happening in the office, and then I checked in with each of my brothers and reminded them all about the fundraiser next week.
I went back to Savage Ink and had a talk with Aiden.
After getting his approval, I redid the security system for the door that leads to the apartment upstairs, and after leaving the instructions with Aiden, I hightailed it out of there.
I was hoping to avoid seeing Bree, but in a way I was secretly hoping to see her too, so I’m not sure what I’m doing with myself these days.
At eleven o’clock at night, I find myself sitting in my truck outside of Bree’s apartment again. I’m a fool, that’s what I keep telling myself. I know this is a bad idea, and I know I should stay away from her, but I can’t help it. There’s something deep inside me that needs to know she’s okay.
For an hour, I sit here watching her bedroom window, and when I see the light come on, I know she’s having trouble sleeping.
I do the same as I did the night before, except this time, I use a code to get inside the door downstairs. When I’m stationed outside her door, I call her.
It rings five times, and instead of answering, she’s opening the door with a big smile on her face. She leans against it. “Is this how it works? I turn my bedroom light on and you magically appear?”
I kick off my shoes next to the door and stroll past her silently.
“Aiden wouldn’t tell me who put the security system on the door downstairs, but I know it was you.”
I just grunt as I walk into the bedroom and take my shirt off, tossing it to the chair in the corner. I sit down on the edge of the bed and watch her as she leans against the door. I pat the bed beside me. “Well, come on. You’re not going to sleep standing there.”
She walks toward the bed and sits down next to me. “What are we doing here, Logan?”
I jut my chin at her. “You can’t sleep. I’m staying so you can sleep.”
She leans toward me, pink-cheeked, and her voice is barely a whisper. “What if I don’t want to sleep?”
I sit up straighter. I thought I could come in here, hold her for the night, and then leave before she gets up in the morning. I keep saying I’m doing this for her, but I’m doing it for me too. I want to hold her. Fuck, I need it.
“Bree…” I start.
She shakes her head. “Forget it. You’re right. I appreciate you doing this.”
She lies down and pulls the covers up over her body. I blow out a slow breath. This is too much temptation, and I’m not sure how long I can resist her, but I’m willing to try. “You coming over here?”
She slides toward me and presses her curvy body into my side. I wrap my arms around her, and she snuggles closer. A few seconds go by, and she squirms as if she’s having trouble getting comfortable.
“You okay?”
She nods against my chest.
Without thinking about it, I stroke my hand up and down her back soothingly.
Eventually we’re going to have to talk about us, but I don’t want to do it now. This is too intimate, and when we do talk, I need to have a clear head.
Bree’s breathing starts to even out, and she softens into me. I know the instant she’s asleep because her little sighs stop.
I should sleep, but I don’t. My body is wired and hard, and I steel myself against the temptation of having her in my arms.
She pulls her leg up across my body, and it touches my hard manhood.
The groan leaves me before I can stop it.
She jerks awake, lifting her head and looking at me in surprise.
She doesn’t move her leg. If anything, she presses her thigh more firmly against my erection, and I groan again.
Without thinking, I put a hand on her ass to hold her still. “Fuck, Bree, don’t move.”
Her voice is low and husky. “Logan…”
It’s like I can hear the need in her voice. I should put some distance between us, but instead I grip her ass in my hands, holding her to me.
She puts a hand on my chest and leans up to look at my face. “Logan, please… I know how you feel about me, but—”
She stops, and I ask, “But what?”
She blinks at me. “But it’s like I’m numb. For the past two years, it’s like I can’t feel anything. I want to feel again…”
She’s tracing her finger against my chest, and I suck in a breath as she drags her hand downward and then cups me through my thin shorts.
My hips surge forward, and instinctively, I push Bree to her back and hover over top of her.
I grind my pelvis against hers, and with a moan, my mouth almost touching hers, I warn her, “This doesn’t mean anything…
we’re just blowing off steam… that’s all this can be. ”
I see the hurt flash in her eyes, but then she nods. As soon as she agrees, I can no longer hold back. I lean in, and as soon as our lips touch, I’m a goner. The chemistry between us is undeniable. It’s a mashing of teeth, tongues sliding along each other, moans, and pure longing.
I pull back and search her eyes. “Are you sure?”
She loops her hand around my neck and pulls me back down to her.
Her kiss is my answer. I cup her breast, but the material is in my way.
I want to feel her soft body against mine.
Quickly, I remove her shirt, shorts, and panties.
She stretches out, arching her back, and I cup her full breasts in my hands.
I pluck her nipples between my thumb and forefinger, and she gasps, pushing into it.
I suck her nipple into my mouth, swirling my tongue around her. I move to the other one, and her hand slides down my body, cupping me through my shorts.
“You’re wearing too many clothes,” she moans.
I pop off her breast and pull down my shorts and underwear and then hover over her. She circles her hand around my girth, squeezing me, and I groan. Fuck, she feels good.
“What do you need?” I ask her.
She moans. “You… inside me. I don’t want to wait.”
I stare into her eyes. “There hasn’t been anyone since you… I’m safe.”
She nods, never looking away, and repeats what I just said. “There hasn’t been anyone since you.”
A part of me wants to scream because I still think about the man she kissed, but I know Bree, and she wouldn’t lie about something like this.
She opens her thighs and guides me to her entrance. “Please, Logan.”
Slowly, I slide into her. She’s snug and tight, wrapped around me, and I still, inhale deeply, and then enter her completely. I feel as if I have to pause and catch my breath. This still feels good. It feels perfect… like I’m home.
“Fuck, you feel good,” I moan.
Her hands go up my body to my shoulders. She bites her bottom lip and tightens around me, hooking her legs around my hips, pulling me deeper. I’m fighting the need for release, wanting this to last, afraid of what will happen afterward.
I take it all in. How her chest rises and falls with every hitched breath, the soft whimpers she makes, the way she’s looking at me under hooded eyes as if I hung the fuckin’ moon.
“Please… don’t stop,” she begs.
I slowly pull my hips back and then plunge back into her honeyed depths. Over and over, I pulsate into her, the only sound in the room our satisfied moans.
I kiss her again before sitting up. I look down at where we’re joined, reach between us, and press a finger to her swollen clit. I pull her hips onto my legs, going deeper inside her, hitting her at an angle that floods her pussy.
I stroke her clit as I pump into her, and the orgasm hits her hard.
She squeezes me like a vise, and I come, shooting my seed deep inside her womb.
I’m panting, eyes open, watching her, waiting for regret to show on her face, but all I see is pure satisfaction.
I clench my eyes, hands hooked onto her waist, and lean my head back. “It was too fast… I—”
I let my voice trail off. I don’t know what to say, but I do know it all happened too fast. If this is it for us, there’s at least a hundred different things I would have wanted to do to her.
I would have like to have tasted her one last time.
Hell, I would have liked to have drawn it out for hours or days, and I still wouldn’t have done everything I want to do with her.
“Lo…” Bree says, shortening my name with her breathy voice like she does.
I unclench my eyes and look down at her wincing face. “You’re hurting me,” she confesses.
In an instant, I unclench my hands from her hips. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…” I pull out of her and climb out of the bed.
Awkwardly, I walk into the bathroom to clean up. I come back with a hot towel and am surprised to see her standing next to the door. She avoids my gaze and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
I toss the towel into the hamper, pull my underwear and shorts back on, and sit on the edge of the bed.
I should regret what just happened. Hell, I should probably get the hell out of here, but I don’t want to do either of those things.
I want to stay right here and hold her for the rest of the night.
Minutes later, she walks out of the bathroom with her robe wrapped around her. I hate that she’s covered her body. “Hey—” I start and then pause. I’m not even sure what I want to say here.
She wraps her arms around herself and avoids looking at me. “I thought you would be gone.”
It’s like a kick in the gut. “What? You thought I’d get off and then get out?
” I stand up, towering over her. “Is that what you think I’m doing here, Bree?
You thought I wanted to fuck you so I would show up here, night after night, acting like I’m helping you, and then as soon as I get what I want, I’d leave? ”
She opens her mouth to say something and then snaps it closed, shaking her head. Her voice is softer. “No, I know you’re not like that, but I also know that you didn’t really want that to happen.”
I blurt out a laugh. “You thought I didn’t want to fuck you?”
My harsh language has her wincing. She lowers her eyes to the floor. “I know I took advantage of the situation. You were trying to help me, and I—” She gestures to the bed. “Well, you know what happened next.”
I take a step toward her, and we’re so close that I can feel the rise and fall of her chest against mine. “You really think I didn’t want that? You think that happened because you… what…?”
I blow out a breath and then shake my head.
“Bree… baby… I’ve wanted you since I walked away from you.
I wanted you even when I wanted to hate you.
You are a temptation that I can’t resist, and yeah, even though I’m sure there are a hundred reasons why us having sex is a bad idea, I don’t regret it. ”
She leans her head back to look up at me. “You don’t?”
I shake my head. Fuck, I have to find a way to move forward, but I don’t know if I can ever fully forgive her. “I don’t regret it. I don’t think I could if I wanted to.”
She puts her hands at my waist, and I suck in a breath. Her voice is soft and vulnerable. “So you’re going to stay the night?”
“Yeah... to make sure the nightmares don’t come back.”
Even as I say it, I know it’s a lie. I’m staying because there’s no way I can walk out of here now. I don’t reach for her like I want to. Instead, I take a step back and walk over to the bed and lie down.
She watches me for a minute, and when I pat the bed, she comes to lie down next to me. I reach for her, pulling her against my chest. “Sleep.”
She nods and sighs as she leans into me. I wait for her to fall asleep before I hold her tighter and think about how I wish things could be different.