Chapter 41 Freija
Freija
My gaze shot to the two women draped in onyx, loitering beside the empty throne.
Both looked up at my approach. Mother gasped, pressing her hands to her lips while Nora’s shoulders dipped in relief.
She was back from the continent—thank goodness.
Soldiers fell in behind me, and I could feel that steady presence at my back that I’d come to recognize as Halvar. He was here. He was with me.
My sister stepped forward. “Freija, we were—”
Mother’s hand flew to her shoulder, stopping Nora’s advance, then she dropped her hands to her stomach, a handkerchief clutched tightly.
Nora’s brow furrowed. “What—”
Mother cleared her throat and looked me in the eyes with a stoicism I’d never seen from her. A deadly quiet settled over the room as everyone held their breath, myself included, and watched Queen Astrid. Her gaze never strayed from mine as she bowed her head and sank into a low curtsy.
I swallowed hard, my heart thrashing so wildly I could hear my own pulse.
“Your Majesty,” she said, her voice scratchy but resolute. She peered at Nora and tilted her head to the side.
My sister got whatever message Mother was trying to convey, and the next moment Nora, her eyes red-rimmed and cheeks stained, dipped into a wobbly curtsy.
Tears threatened to cascade across my face, but I held my breath and pushed them back.
The two women rose in sync.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” Mother said.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get home quicker, that I even left in the first place.”
She raised her hand then quickly thought better of it, returning to her poised posture. “There is no need to apologize.”
With a nod, silence settled between us again. Not awkward, but unusual. As if we were both quietly testing out this new dynamic. I turned to my sister, and reached out to hug her. She wrapped her arms around me and sniffled.
“When did you return?” I asked.
“I was already on my way home,” she replied. “Arrived just in time to say goodbye.”
I released her from our embrace and took her in. Grief aside, she looked healthier than I’d last seen her—more color in her full, round cheeks, a brightness to those brown eyes, and a luster in her dark hair that reminded me of mahogany.
She took a step back and dabbed at her eyes. “It’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too.” If only it were under happier circumstances.
“Your Majesty?” a gentle male voice said to my left.
Mother and I both whipped our heads in his direction.
“Queen… Freija?” A man stepped around the phalanx of soldiers. His scrawny frame was draped in a large white blouse and trousers, a light-brown apron cinched around his waist. The new chief healer. The one who’d been promoted only last year.
“It is Trygve, correct?” I said, my voice sounding far away.
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Was there something you wished to tell me?”
“Y-yes.” He wrung his hands. “Um, you may visit him. Th-the room has been cleared and prepared for the family.”
“Thank you, Trygve.”
He bowed and stepped back among the surrounding guards.
I faced my mother and sister. “Have you seen him? Were you there?”
Nora sniffled, and mother motioned to the door at the rear of the room that led to the council chambers and the monarch’s rooms just beyond that. “How about we discuss this in private?”
I peered around. Soldiers dipped their heads, while others shuffled on the spot. Halvar stood closest to me, his hands clasped behind his back.
“Can you please secure the mountain and its tunnels?” I asked, directing my question to him.
“Of course,” he replied with a succinct nod. “I will leave a few guards here, too, while I head to the barracks.”
“Thank you, Halvar.”
With that we all went our separate ways, Halvar barking orders to the soldiers, and us three women heading through to see Father.
The thick door bumped shut and an eerie quiet settled over us as we walked around the council table, aiming for the left door that led to the King’s chambers. Mother led the way while Nora and I strode along behind her.
It felt odd to be in here under these circumstances, knowing what I did, yet still not having come to terms with it.
I peered over at the chair Father would sit in, expecting him to be there saying “excellent, excellent” to something we’d proposed.
Or pacing back and forth before retreating to his rooms. Instead the chamber was empty, no trace of the man who’d reigned here for centuries.
We swept inside his bedroom, leaving the cool space behind.
The King’s Room wasn’t that dissimilar to my own quarters.
But where mine felt cozy and lived in, this felt much more austere and grander, like it served as both a bedchamber and a private meeting room.
Intricate magical lights bobbed against the ceiling, a gargantuan bookshelf lined the entire far wall, and to our left sat a four-post bed with thick gold curtains drawn back.
Father lay on the bed in his uniform, a white sheet draped over his lower half. Ancestors, it looked like he had simply fallen asleep and would awake at any moment to ask about the garden and if I could pick some flowers for Mother on his behalf.
I ambled across the space in a daze and rested my hip against the bed. His eyes were shut, skin pale and face far gaunter than the last time I’d seen him, and his hair had been brushed—no longer in the usual slight disarray that came from hours of poring over reports and sitting in meetings.
“Was it… Was it painful? Was he in pain?” I asked, unable to tear my eyes away from the shell of a man before me.
“Your father and I knew this was coming,” Mother replied. “He’d been feeling unwell for weeks.”
Nora’s gentle sobs echoed around the room, bouncing lightly off the roughhewn walls.
Cool fingers slid into mine, and Mother appeared at my side, giving my hand a squeeze. “But no, he wasn’t in pain at the end.”
“What was the cause?”
“You recall he had that bout of illness last winter?”
“Mm-hmm.” He’d been so frustrated he couldn’t go outside to see the northern lights. But it had been bitterly cold and the chill would’ve harmed his lungs.
“Well, he never fully recovered. Not really. The cough lingered. Trygve was monitoring but sworn to secrecy by us.”
“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t tell us,” Nora piped up, appearing on Mother’s other side and blowing her nose into her own handkerchief.
“He didn’t want to worry either of you,” Mother said.
“I agree with Nora.”
She sniffed. “That’s a first.”
It wasn’t, but I ignored her comment. “I wish you’d told us.”
“Girls, there was nothing you could’ve done. Trygve found dark matter in one of the lungs. We were hoping it wouldn’t spread—”
“And there was no cure? Nothing our healers could do with their powers?” I asked.
Mother sighed and tightened her grip on my hand while taking Nora’s in her other. “They tried everything and in the end he decided he wanted to live without further medical experimentation. So, they granted him his wish, and he enjoyed his last few months.”
And yet, I’d missed precious time with him. My stomach twisted in on itself, and a single tear trickled down my cheek. “This was why you were encouraging me to marry, wasn’t it?”
She nodded. “The Council had been leading the charge behind that endeavor, wanting to follow tradition and all that. But Erik wanted to see you happy. I’m sorry if that put undue pressure on you.”
It had and it hadn’t.
It had led me to the arms of a man who was outside of their precious rules but one I’d fallen for hard.
“We can discuss that another time,” I said, glancing back at the prone figure beside us.
Mother patted my hand.
“I need to leave. I need some time alone.” Nora spun on the spot and strode to the door. Hand on the knob, she glanced over her shoulder. “I’m glad you’re back, Freija.”
“Thank you, Nora. I look forward to hearing about your time away.”
She gave a gentle nod and was gone.
I turned back to Mother who regarded me with a quizzical look. “Are you all right?”
Yes. No. Could one be in this situation? I couldn’t recall the protocol I’d learned all those years ago. “I will be,” I said, hoping that voicing the words would make them true. If not today, then eventually. “Are you all right?”
Her lips pinched at one corner and she patted my hands, drawing them between us. “I had many long and happy years with your father. While the sting of grief hurts now, I will know peace one day and look back on our time with great fondness.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. Halvar had said something similar.
She tucked her kerchief into the sleeve of her dress and wrapped an arm around me while looking down at the love of her life. “Be strong, my dear. We both knew you could do this.”
Twisting into her hold, I hugged her like my life depended on it.
He was gone.
I was Queen.