Chapter 34
Niko
My mates have been busy, but I get their last night before they leave me.
I don’t want them to look upon me with sorrow.
They see a dead man, mourning me while I still live and breathe before their eyes.
It’s true my condition isn’t ideal, and my energy depletes quickly.
The hunger churns my stomach, but it’s not unbearable yet.
I’m still here. Still me. And I need them both to see that.
Especially since they will both be leaving me in the morning.
It’s been four days since the discussion with my mother.
The tonic is almost ready, and once it is, Evangeline, Zephyr, and Finnick will be gone.
I want to join them, but Zephyr is right, that bastard.
I would slow them down. I’m in no condition to be making that journey, which, according to my mother’s book, will take them a day or two to arrive, and the same back.
At best, they’ll be back after four days, but even that seems optimistic.
Every day without them will be grim and harder to deal with than this damned curse.
At first, it surprised me that my mother didn’t volunteer to go.
She would be the most knowledgeable in this situation.
But judging by the fleeting glances she aims in my direction, I know she’s not keen on leaving me alone, and I doubt she’s equipped to make the journey.
She will remain by my bedside, even if that means watching me suffer.
She'd rather be next to me in my final moments than not be with me at all. I can understand that, but I also don’t plan on dying.
Does anyone plan on dying?
I push that thought aside because it doesn’t serve me now.
All I care about is this last evening with my mates.
Zephyr is propped up against the wall, staring out the window.
He’s been there for the past hour, ever since Evangeline went off to bathe.
He was reluctant to let her go at first, something unspeakable passing between them, but in the end, Evangeline kissed his cheek and made her way to the bathing chamber alone.
Something is brewing between them.
Something Zephyr can no longer deny.
“Mate,” I say, my voice louder than intended in the room’s stillness. The word stretches across the space between us, but it doesn’t close the distance. Zephyr feels miles away, though he’s standing just a few feet in front of me, while I’m propped up in bed.
He turns at the sound of my voice, slow and stiff, like movement costs him something.
Shadows cling beneath his eyes, the purple smudges deepening the sharp lines of his face.
His normally bright gaze is dulled, rimmed with red, because he’s slept little these past few days.
There’s a tightness in his jaw, and the set of his shoulders—usually proud and unshakable—sags with invisible weight.
He looks like he’s been carrying a storm no one else can see.
I wish I could unburden him, but I fear I’m the reason for all those burdens.
“One night,” I remind him.
Zephyr clenches his jaw but nods once. It’s not enthusiastic consent, but it’s enough. I beckon him over with one finger. He’s almost reluctant in the way he walks over to me, but I hold his stare.
When he reaches me, he perches on the side of the bed.
Still too far for my liking. I reach out, gripping his tunic and pulling him toward me with both fists.
I crash my mouth against his in a hungry, needy kiss.
He hasn’t kissed me since I’ve been cursed.
He’s dancing around me like I’m fragile glass, easy to break.
He’s known me long enough to know that isn’t true.
I feel his resolve crumble at the first stroke of my tongue against his lips. The tension in his body doesn’t disappear completely, but it eases as he leans into the kiss, parting his lips. His mouth is warm. Safe. Mine.
I want to memorize everything about him. The way he tastes, his smell, the rough touch of his hands on me. I want to do more, show him just how much I love him with my body, but kissing is all I have the energy for now.
He doesn’t pull away, even when the kiss slows, softens, and turns into something else entirely. Reverence, maybe. Apology. Love. His forehead presses against mine when we part. His warm breath against my cheek has me yearning to feel it all over my body.
“I hate this,” he whispers. The words aren’t sharp. They’re not even meant to sting. Hell, I’m not even certain he meant to speak them out loud. They’re simply the truth, dropped into the space between us like stones into water. “I hate that you’re hurting. I hate that I can’t fix you.”
“You’re here.” I lift my hand to his cheek. “That’s enough for me, and it’s not your responsibility to fix me.” I’m helpless to do anything but hold him close.
His eyes close. For a moment, I pretend it’s because he believes me.
Then the door opens, and we turn as one to see Evangeline at the threshold.
Soft footsteps pad across the stone floor, followed by the faint scent of lavender oil and warm skin.
She appears, wrapped in a pale robe that clings to her curves, her damp hair curling at the ends.
Her cheeks flush red from the heat of the bath.
But her eyes, gods, her eyes… they search for me the way a ship searches for light in the fog.
When they land on me, something in her settles—simply relief to know I’m still breathing, but I pretend it’s more.
She loves me.
She didn’t say it directly, but she said she’d do this trip for the people she loves. And goddess, I love this woman so much. She and Zephyr are the reason I will fight this for as long as I can.
“I was starting to think you fell asleep without me,” she says gently, a small smile ghosting across her lips.
Zephyr moves aside just enough for her to approach.
She hesitates for a beat, her gaze flicking to him, then back to me.
There’s so much unsaid in her expression—fear, longing, that desperate hope she always tries to mask with bravery.
I reach toward her, fingers outstretched, and she comes without further prompting, crawling into the bed beside me like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Like this is where we were always meant to be.
And by gods, I hope it isn’t the last time.
Zephyr stays on my other side, still perched awkwardly at first, until Evangeline tucks herself against my right shoulder, and I shift to make room on my left.
“Lie down, both of you,” I murmur, needing them both near. “You’ll make yourselves tired from all the worrying you’re trying to hide.”
Zephyr gives me a half laugh, but there’s no humor in it. Still, he does as I ask, kicking off his boots and sliding under the covers.
Evangeline sighs as she presses her cheek to my chest. Her fingers trace idle patterns along my stomach, and I can feel how careful she is, how measured her touch. As if I might vanish beneath her hands.
“You know,” I speak softly, catching her attention. “The only thing hurting me right now is the look on your face.” I tilt my chin down to meet her gaze. “I need you to believe I’m going to make it. Both of you. Have more faith in your abilities to stop this curse. I do.”
Tears glimmer in her eyes, but she doesn’t let them fall. “I do,” she whispers. Then louder: “I do.” I’m not sure who she’s trying to convince. Me or her.
Zephyr shifts closer, pressing his forehead to my temple from the other side. “Liar.”
“You’re both terrible liars,” I murmur, chuckling. “But thank you for trying.”
A quiet falls over us, not uncomfortable, just heavy. Honest. The kind of silence that says everything we’re too afraid to voice. I close my eyes, feeling the rhythm of their breathing. Zephyr’s long and steady. Evangeline’s slower, calmer now. Both of them ground me, anchoring me here.
Alive.
“I used to think I’d meet my end in battle,” I say into the dark.
Not to be morbid, but speaking of death has never bothered me.
It’s something everyone will face. Some earlier than others.
So I think about it a lot, especially since being cursed.
“Sword in hand. Blood on the ground. I thought maybe that would mean something. That I’d earn a story, or a song. Something worth remembering.”
Evangeline stirs, her hand sliding up to rest above my heart. Perhaps I’m breaking my own rules not to speak about curses and dying, but I don’t care. I can’t keep it pent up inside.
“You will,” she says. “You already have.”
“I don’t want a song,” Zephyr mutters. “I want you alive, you stupid bastard.”
I huff a quiet laugh and squeeze his hand. I should have expected that response from him.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I don’t think it’s a lie, but it certainly feels heavy hanging in the air between us. “At least not tonight.”
Zephyr shifts again, looping one arm over my waist, careful not to put too much weight on me. Evangeline mirrors the gesture on my other side, her hand slipping beneath the hem of my shirt to rest directly against my skin.
They wrap around me like armor. It is exactly what I need.
“You’ll come back to me,” I whisper, mostly to myself. “Both of you.” Because facing my death is one thing. But having to face the reality of both my mates dying? That twists a knife deep into my heart, a pain I can’t properly describe.
“I swear it,” Evangeline says immediately, her voice fierce despite its softness. That’s exactly what my Evangeline is. Soft but fierce.
Zephyr doesn’t answer, but I feel the slight tremble of his fingers as they press tighter to mine. That’s enough.
I tilt my head, resting it against his. My body aches, bone-deep and cold despite the warmth of them on either side. The curse curls in my belly, slithering through my veins like smoke. It won’t take me tonight, but it’s waiting and slowly stealing my health.
Still, I let myself relax. Just for this moment. Just for this night.
“I love you,” I say, because I have to. Because it’s the one truth that matters more than the rest, and they need to know it before they leave. “Both of you.”
Evangeline kisses my chest, right above my heart. “I love you too.” It’s the first time she’s said those words. I had guessed she felt the same way, but hearing it confirmed makes me feel stronger than the poison trying to kill me. I have someone—two someones—to live for now.
Zephyr doesn’t speak, but I feel the way he presses closer, the way his breath catches.
He’s always been quieter with his emotions, more guarded, but I know him.
I know what he means when he doesn’t say it.
The way he squeezes my hand a little tighter tells me exactly what I need to know.
I read him like an open book, no matter how guarded he tries to be.
We lie like that for a long time, the weight of the world falling away bit by bit beneath the hush of our breathing and the low crackle of the fire across the room. Evangeline’s fingers rest gently against my chest, feeling each beat of my heart like she’s trying to memorize its rhythm.
In this small, stolen moment, I let myself believe that everything might be okay. That they’ll return safely. That the curse can be undone. That I’ll still be here when they come back—and not just the shell of a man they once knew. I will be the king my kingdom and mates deserve.
Sleep pulls at me slowly, winding its way through my limbs like vines tugging me down. I don’t fight it, going peacefully into the darkness with my mates by my side. Their warmth and love surround me, engulfing me like a blanket.