Chapter 35
Evangeline
Leaving has never been easy for me. I’m a creature of habit and enjoy spending my time in familiar settings.
Changing my patterns and surroundings fills me with utmost dread.
Perhaps it’s the unknown, or maybe it’s simply learning new patterns and routines, but I’ve never been okay the night before leaving.
And yet somehow, I slept like a baby.
I awake, still wrapped in Niko’s arms. He’s asleep, chest slowly rising and falling with his shallow breaths.
My eyes linger on the black veins cursing his body, and wish I had the power to take it away.
I do…just not in a way that gives both me and Niko what we want.
To save one, the other must sacrifice their very existence.
It’s an impossible choice, and yet, no choice at all.
I know what I must do.
The bed next to Niko is empty. Zephyr must have stepped out at some point during the night or this morning.
Before I even have the chance to wonder where he’s at, the door to our room opens, and Zephyr, completely dressed in a dark tunic and pants with riding boots, walks in as if he’s been awake for hours. Maybe he has.
Zephyr halts at the foot of the bed, his eyes locking with mine for a brief, heavy moment.
There’s something unreadable in his gaze, quiet and restrained, but it slips away as he turns to Niko.
His features shift, the sharp lines of his face softening.
A flicker passes through him, like the shadow of a wound reopening.
He takes in Niko’s pale skin, his short breaths, and the way his body lies far too still.
The air seems to thicken around him, pressing against his ribs, and though he doesn’t speak, the silence between us says everything.
What I feel is grief. But what he feels…
it’s older. Deeper. Carved from years I wasn’t there for.
And though I’d never measure pain like currency, I understand that whatever binds the two of them runs long and knotted—threaded with love, loyalty, and history I’m only beginning to grasp—and it costs them everything.
“We must go.” Zephyr forces his gaze away from Niko, who stirs under me. “The dragons and wolves have set out, planning to meet us at tonight’s camp.”
“We aren’t going to pour the tonic into the well today?” I had hoped we could get this all over with fast, despite Lady Thalia’s warning that the trip would take a few days.
“We will strike in the morning. For now, we need to meet up with the others. Finnick and a few other guards are waiting outside for us.”
Niko coughs, causing both me and Zephyr to tense.
His eyes flutter open, and I can’t help but notice how much more tired he looks today.
There’s a new hollowness to his eyes that wasn’t there before.
He looks between us, knowing what is about to happen.
I’ve cried enough over the last five days, but even still, my eyes water at the sight of him. He will live. I will make sure of that.
I lean in, brushing Niko’s hair from his damp forehead, memorizing every line of his face. “We’ll be back soon,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to his temple. My lips linger a little longer than normal. “Just rest. Listen to your mother, and don’t be a difficult patient.”
He smiles—barely—but it’s real, and that alone nearly shatters me. His fingers curl weakly around mine. “I’ll wait for you,” he murmurs, voice raw and dry. “Both of you.”
Zephyr steps forward, crouching beside the bed.
For a long moment, he doesn’t say a word.
His hand hovers over Niko’s before finally settling there, fingers lacing tight like he’s anchoring him to the world.
“Don’t be stubborn while I’m gone,” Zephyr says, tone low and rough.
“Like Evangeline says, if Lady Thalia tells you to drink water, do it. If she says rest, you rest. Understand?”
Niko’s lips twitch in a ghost of a smirk. “I love you too, mate,” he breathes. “Take care of each other.”
Zephyr exhales a shaky breath, then leans in and rests his forehead against Niko’s. No words. Just that quiet, desperate press of skin on skin, as if imprinting his soul in the touch. He then kisses him, sweet and gentle, a kiss I pray won’t be their last.
The kiss only lasts a moment before Zephyr stands abruptly, the mask sliding back over his features. I know now it’s his armor to protect his heart. “We need to go,” he says to me.
I nod, though every part of me screams to stay, to wrap myself around Niko and never let go. But I can’t save him from here. The only way is forward, and I’m done waiting around. It’s time to end this.
Now.
We gather our things in silence. My fingers tremble as I lace my boots and then pull on the dark cloak someone left folded at the end of the bed.
Probably Zephyr. He helps me with the last strap of my satchel, his touch lingering at my shoulder for just a second longer than necessary. He’s been doing that a lot lately.
With one final look at Niko to memorize every line and curve of his body, Zephyr finally leads me out, and we both leave half our hearts behind.
Downstairs, the chill of early morning clings to the air.
Lady Thalia waits just outside the castle’s doors, her white braid swept back like a crown, a small crystal vial cradled in her hands.
Behind her, Finnick hovers beside a line of fae warriors already mounted and ready to ride.
Horses snort and paw the earth impatiently.
Thalia offers me the vial, and it feels both heavy and impossibly light in my hand. The liquid inside shimmers faintly—sky blue laced with streaks of silver. “This must go into the well,” she says. “Pour it directly into the center, every last drop.”
I nod, carefully tucking the vial into the leather pouch strapped across my chest. It doesn’t feel like enough protection, but Zephyr and Lady Thalia assure me it will be fine. “We’ll do it. He’ll be okay,” I say once the tonic is properly put away.
Her gaze softens. “I know you’ll do everything you can, my dear. Of that, I have little doubt.”
Then she turns to Zephyr, and for the first time in days, I see something almost motherly in her expression. “You remember the path?”
“I do,” he answers. Lady Thalia created a map from her research. Zephyr studied it intensely, memorizing the directions.
She offers him a brief nod before pulling us both in for a hug. It doesn’t last long, and she soon steps back. No long goodbyes. No drawn-out speeches. Just quiet strength and trust. I think I like this better.
Zephyr leads me to a tall, ash-gray stallion. I start to reach for the reins, even though I know nothing about riding a horse. He pulls himself into the saddle and then extends a hand down to me.
“Ride with me,” he says simply.
I hesitate, just a blink of a moment, but then I slide my hand into his and let him pull me up in front of him. The saddle is broad enough for both of us, though he has to press close to my back. One strong arm wraps protectively around my center, while the other takes the reins.
He doesn’t say anything when I rest against him.
I tell myself it’s more comfortable this way, but really it’s just an excuse to be closer to him.
Feeling the rise and fall of his broad chest, I squirm slightly in the saddle, which only pushes my ass back against him.
I swear I hear him groan, and my face flushes red just as he clicks his tongue to get the horse moving.
As we ride through the courtyard and the gates begin to rise, I glance back once, catching the faintest glimpse of the balcony outside our bedroom window, and only one thought replays repeatedly in my mind.
Hold on, Niko.
We’re coming back for you.
My thighs start to burn a few hours into our trip.
Riding a horse isn’t as easy as it looks, and I’m not even the one doing the work.
I’m certain I would have fallen off at least a dozen times if it wasn’t for Zephyr’s arms around me, keeping me firmly in place.
I do my best not to show my discomfort, but the man is too observant for his own good.
“We can rest,” he says for the fourth time.
“If you tell me to rest one more time, Zephyr Zefferson, I will turn around and push you off this damn horse.”
“Zefferson?”
“I don’t know your last name!” I exclaim, exasperated.
I swear the man smirks at me. I can’t see it, but I feel it. We fall into silence after that. Only the sound of Finnick speaking animatedly to a poor man in front of us about the time he fell into a chalice of mead and almost drowned carries over to us.
“It’s Ashoar,” Zephyr says after a beat of silence.
“Hmm?”
“My last name. It’s Ashoar, same as Niko,” he repeats. “Not Zefferson.”
“Oh, right. Ashoar. That’s…nice,” I say lamely.
It’s a small insight of who he is but makes me realize I’m attracted to a man I know virtually nothing about.
Even if he’ll never be my mate, he is still mates with Niko and will be in my life forever.
He’s seen me…all of me, and I know very little about him.
“I suppose I should have known that. But considering you never open up to me unless it’s about Niko, I don’t particularly know much about you.” The words leave my lips before I can stop them. They’re angry, bitter, and said with resentment I didn’t know I harbored.
Zephyr doesn’t speak, but I guess I can’t blame him.
My chest tightens, very aware of the awkward tension I just created. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“I deserve your ire,” he says, shocking me into silence. “You’re correct. I’ve kept you at a distance because I thought it would be better for me. I thought it would protect you.”
“Why did you think you needed to protect me?” I whisper, desperate to know the answer. Why he’s kept his distance and refuses to mate with me. “I’m not as fragile as you think I am. Help me understand, Zephyr.”