Chapter Sixteen
BEC
Ifucked up. I really fucked up. Why the hell did I tell Rome that? That I wanted more? What the hell was more?
I wasn’t even sure what I felt for him. He was just a chaotic swirl of emotions in my heart that made no sense. Rome could simultaneously make me lose my mind, and make my heart flutter.
I had been in my fair share of relationships over the years. They were simple… comfortable, even. Not once in those relationships did I spiral the way I was over Rome. He made me lose control in ways I had never experienced before.
When did this happen? Had I always felt this way about him? Could it have been from that first moment when he had the gall to drop a pickup line within minutes of meeting me?
“Rome Cipriani at your service…” He paused for a moment, a mischievous gleam shining in his eyes, “Any service you need.”
The insinuation bled through his tone. I had promptly admonished the inappropriate behavior as I was his boss and deserved respect. He had apologized and promised to be better, but I still thought about that line. Not that it was any good… it was actually a rather abysmal pickup line in my opinion.
It had stood out, though, because for the first time, I was just Bec. Rome didn’t look at me as a spoiled rich girl or the CEO of a massive corporation. There were no preconceived notions… just Rome treating me like he would anyone else. He always had.
Rome gave me the space to simply be me.
Will kicked my feet under the table from his spot next to me. Jackie and Rome were on the opposite side of the table, both talking my mom’s ear off… though she seemed utterly delighted with the attention.
“What happened? Do I need to kill him?” Will asked in a hushed voice that was concerningly serious.
“What? Absolutely not,” I whispered back. “Wait… you wouldn’t actually kill him, right?”
Will shrugged noncommittally, and I chose not to investigate that further.
I glanced at Rome to make sure he wasn’t listening before fully turning towards Will, "I think I may have committed a major HR violation—at the very least, bordered on one. Does it count if I technically didn’t do anything, just insinuated it? I think I may be spiraling.”
Will’s brows furrowed in both worry and confusion, “What did you do?”
“I may or may not have propositioned our employee… a little bit,” I explained, as if that made it any better.
Various emotions flashed across Will’s face. First, confusion… then, understanding… and finally, landing on humor. He covered his mouth with his hand as he tried to stifle his chuckles.
“Shut up,” I mumbled. But he continued to shake with laughter. I could even see tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. God, he was the worst.
“Will,” Jackie asked from across the table, “are you okay?”
Will cleared his throat in a pathetic attempt to disguise his laughter, “Yep, yeah, of course. Just caught something in my throat.”
Jackie didn’t look convinced, but dropped the subject, turning her attention back to my mom.
“Shut the fuck up,” I murmured and shoved a spoonful of soup into my mouth.
Will continued to giggle softly, “This is the greatest thing that’s happened all week. You’re having an entire conniption over Rome. I could not have guessed this with a gun to my head.”
I kicked his foot under the table, “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m a grown woman who is allowed to have feelings.”
Will raised his hands in surrender. “You’re not the surprising part. He is.” He motioned to Rome with his head. “I can’t believe he managed to win you over. I thought you wanted to twist his head off most days.”
I shrugged, “I did, but I think it was out of affection?”
“Are you asking me?” Will asked.
“Oh my god, I don’t know! It’s not like we had a great example of expressing emotions in our household. I’m doing my best here,” I shout-whispered.
“Eh, I can’t judge you… though, I really want to,” Will explained. “I was the same way with Jackie. I think we’re both emotionally constipated.”
I chucked a crouton at his head. “Speak for yourself. I am incredibly attuned with my emotions.”
Will looked at me skeptically, which… valid.
“Shut up,” I grumbled again and focused back on my plate.
This dinner had not been going well for me. Between my swirling emotions and trying to avoid Rome, I was on the brink of a complete nervous breakdown.
Rome had spent the majority of the evening talking with my mom and Jackie…
and trying to get my attention. I couldn’t believe I ran from him.
It was the coward's way out, but it was the only way that felt safe.
I was beginning to notice a pattern of fleeing when I felt out of control.
And Rome had a habit of making me feel completely out of control.
“Bec,” he whispered from across the table.
But I dutifully ignored him, pretending to focus on my mom’s conversation… though, I couldn’t tell you what she was talking about if my life depended on it. Will continued to laugh in silent shakes next to me and I kicked his shin again… he deserved it, that jerk.
“Bec,” Rome whispered again, loud enough that Jackie could hear this time.
She was now glancing between Will and me in confusion.
We must have been quite the pair to witness.
The two siblings, known for being cold and in control, having two different breakdowns over here.
Will’s face was growing red from the exertion of holding in laughter, and mine was from embarrassment.
I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t be in this room for one more second. I stood abruptly, my chair screeching behind me, “I need a minute. You know… lady troubles.” I all but ran away from the table.
I could hear the laughter from Will finally break free as my mom and Jackie asked him what was going on. I navigated through the house and out the front door. I didn’t stop until I was in the middle of the empty street… the cold air piercing my lungs with each breath.
“What the fuck, Bec?” I mumbled to myself. I needed a good scolding for how I was acting, but I had no control over my body or emotions at that moment.
“Bec.” I whirled quickly to see Rome standing at the edge of the street. His hands were in his pockets and his brows drawn in concern, but that same, beautiful light in his eyes was brighter than I had ever seen.
I clasped my hand over my racing heart, “Don’t do that! I nearly screamed. How do you move so quietly?”
He raised his hands in surrender, “I’ll wear a bell going forward. No need to give you a heart attack.”
I laughed despite myself. “What are you doing out here?”
He looked around and took a step forward. “I thought that was pretty obvious. I’m here to get some answers that you owe me.”
“Nope,” I exclaimed, pointing my finger at him, “stay right there. No getting closer. It’s not allowed.”
He laughed and rolled his eyes. “Will you at least tell me what you meant up there? What do you mean you want me to be more than your friend?”
“I don’t know!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands out to the side. “I have literally no idea! I just know I don’t like it when you say you're my friend. I know I didn’t like it when that waitress flirted with you! Okay? I have no idea what I’m doing here, and I hate it.”
Rome took a step forward. “Bec,” he tried to interrupt, but I just kept on going.
“I hate not having control, and when I’m with you, I have zero control. I hate it! I hate what you do to me, but I don’t want it to stop because it’s like a breath of life…”
Rome stepped closer again, and I ran my hands through my hair.
“I can’t lose control. I have too many people depending on me.
I spend all day thinking about it, about you, which is bad because I’m trying to run this company, and I should be focused on that.
But all I think about is you, goddamn it! It’s annoying!”
“At least I’m still annoying you… that hasn’t changed,” he interrupted. I shot him a glare at the intrusion, and he just laughed.
“See, you’re obnoxious and annoying, and you make me want to pull my hair out.
But you also make me smile, and laugh, and actually relax.
I feel like me around you, not this stupid Ice Queen, but Bec.
I just feel like I can be…” I sighed, realizing he was now directly in front of me. “...You make me feel safe.”
I finally stopped rambling… my chest heaving from the exertion.
Rome smirked, that godforsaken smirk. “Okay.”
“Okay?” I asked in confusion. “What the hell does okay mean?”
“You’re rather vulgar tonight. I like it. What it means is, we can be more.” He was resolute, leaving no room for argument.
His hand brushed across my cheek, first cupping my face, then weaving through my hair.
His other hand wrapped around my back, and he pulled me flush against his body.
He pulled at my hair, forcing me to look up at him.
The tension stinging my scalp, and the sensation sending butterflies to my stomach.
I steadied myself, splaying my palms against his broad chest. I could feel his heart beating rapidly under my palm, and a small, familiar silver chain.
“You still have the necklace? The R?” I asked.
He smiled, “Of course. Had to make sure everyone knew who my girlfriend was.”
“Girlfriend,” I mumbled, almost to myself.
He leaned forward, his lips nearly meeting mine before stopping. I couldn’t help the whine that crawled up my throat, “That’s more than a friend, right?”
Finally, he kissed me. This is what our months together had been leading to.
This moment, on the street, the only lights were the street lamps around us. Just he and I.
He kissed me like the world was ending and this was the only way to survive. We were plastered to one another, our mouths moving in sync, as we finally gave into the tension pulling us together since the moment we met.
He pulled away slightly, just enough that I could see into his eyes, but we were still tightly connected and intertwined. His chest was heaving… his dark eyes widely dilated.
Rome smiled, not his usual smirk, but a genuine smile. “So, that happened.”
I laughed softly, “This is breaking so many rules.”
“Well, thank God you’re the boss,” he said with a wink. “You make the rules, vita mia.”
I sighed and leaned into his body, my forehead resting above his heart. “What does that mean, vita mia?”
His breath hitched, “I hadn’t even realized I had said it…” His words were quiet, as if he were speaking to himself. “My dad wrote to my mom when he was deployed, before he died. He always addressed her as vita mia.”
I leaned back, my arms still wrapped around him. “Italian, I’m assuming?”
He nodded, his eyes wistful as he spoke about his parents. “He always told my mom that she was the love of his life. It means my life. It was his way of telling her he would love her for all of his days… and he did.”
“He’d be proud of you, Rome.”
Rome shrugged, not believing my words. But I would convince him of it, show him he wasn’t the failure that he believed himself to be.
“I feel like I should warn you, your brother is glaring daggers at me out the window,” Rome explained. I turned in his embrace, my back now to his chest, to see Will, Jackie, and my mom all peering through the window.
Jackie at least had the decency to pretend not to be spying as she dropped from view when I made eye contact. My mom was throwing me a thumbs up, but Will was, in fact, glaring at Rome. I laughed at my brother and did what any little sister would do… I flipped him the bird.
Rome laughed behind me and leaned down to whisper in my ear, “Wanna get far away from here?”
“Immediately.”