Chapter 21
Twenty-One
Hilary was standing just outside the door when I stepped into the hall, her focus on her cell phone, which she quickly stuffed in her pocket. “All set?”
It wasn’t a question that needed answering since I was standing right in front of her, but I replied anyway. “Yup.”
“Good.” She waved down the hall as she started walking. “Let’s talk in the consultation room.”
Sitting across from Hilary in the miniature waiting room filled me with a sense of déjà vu.
Only a little over two months had passed since the first time I sat here, and yet I felt like a totally different person.
Like I was living someone else’s life. It was so surreal, but even crazier was that it was going to get worse before it got better.
“We should have the results of your blood work tomorrow at the latest, but they could be ready as early as this evening,” Hilary said once she’d settled into the oversized chair.
“That soon?” I asked, surprised even though I shouldn’t have been. The Department of Fertility had unlimited resources, and as one of the fertile ones, I was a priority. No, that wasn’t true. The baby growing inside me was a priority.
“One of the benefits of having everything we need under one roof,” Hilary replied, radiating pride like she was personally responsible for my medical care and not just a glorified paper pusher. “We’ll give you a call when we get them. Until then, continue what you’re doing.”
“Okay,” I said, shifting. Wondering why I’d had to come to this room just so Hilary could tell me to carry on.
“If we have concerns about anything,” she continued after a slight pause, “we’ll have you come in, but that’s rare.”
“And if there are concerns?”
“Depends on what it is,” she replied. “Sometimes the doctor will want you to come in more often, so he can monitor the baby more closely, and occasionally, a D&C is required.”
“And if that’s the case?” I prompted, an uneasy feeling in my gut.
“No need to worry about that. It’s so rare and we do everything in our power to make sure our babies are healthy.
Have you heard the latest statistics about births defects?
” When I shook my head, she tapped the screen of the tablet she carried everywhere.
“Thanks to the Department of Fertility’s efforts, we’ve eradicated most birth defects and neurological disorders.
Under the new regime, all babies are born healthy.
” The click of her nail against the glass followed her statement, then she looked up, beaming. “I’ve emailed the article to you.”
I wasn’t sure what article she was talking about, and I really didn’t care, but I couldn’t help thinking it all sounded like bullshit. How was it possible that they’d eradicated all birth defects yet couldn’t do a damn thing about infertility?
“But you can’t control everything,” I replied instead of asking the real question. “In the event that a D&C is necessary, what does that mean for me and my time in the program? How does that change things?”
Hilary frowned as if displeased or even annoyed by my questions. “If that happens, you’ll be given time to recover. Six weeks, to be exact. The doctor will examine you, and if it’s determined everything is normal, we’ll start the process over.”
I didn’t know what I was expecting – not to be released from the program, that was for sure – but I still felt let down by the news. Six weeks wasn’t long.
When I said nothing, Hilary clapped her hands. “If you don’t have any other questions, I think we’re done.”
Feeling dismissed, I stood. “Okay.”
“Assuming everything with the bloodwork is okay,” she said, also getting to her feet, “we’ll see you back here in four weeks.”
“Four weeks,” I repeated.
When we stepped into the hall, Hilary waved in the direction of the waiting room, making it clear I was to see myself out.
“Have a good day, Ara,” she said in that chipper voice of hers.
“You too,” I replied, feeling distracted and confused.
The sensation stuck with me as I headed out, making me feel so weighed down that even Ramirez’s playful banter couldn’t distract me. Why did I have a bad feeling about this?
The uneasiness continued as I walked to work. I’d gone to the appointment early so I would miss very little, and when I looked at my phone, I was relieved to realize I would be less than an hour late. Not that Bruce wouldn’t notice.
Work turned out to be a good distraction, and by the time I made it home that night, my uneasiness had faded, and I was able to convince myself it had been totally unwarranted in the first place.
Hilary was right. While there were things that could go wrong, they weren’t common, and the odds that I’d need surgery or that the baby had some strange genetic issue were slim.
Plus, it didn’t matter. The surgery would be minor and quick if it needed to be done, and the recovery easy.
And if the baby had a health problem, I wouldn’t be the one who had to worry about it.
The adoptive parents would. All I had to do was carry the thing to term. Nothing else.
I slept well and woke to less nausea than the day before, which I was happy about, and arrived at work nice and early. Which Bruce felt the need to point out.
“On time today, I see,” he said, a fake smile plastered on his face that didn’t hide the irritation in his eyes.
“You are a master of observational skills,” was my curt reply.
He scowled, which I ignored.
It was a day of meetings that kept me so busy I didn’t have a chance to even glance at my phone until almost noon, which was when I noticed the multiple missed calls from Hilary.
Preoccupied by my next meeting, I hit the button to call her back as I walked to the bathroom, wanting to get it over with so I could concentrate on work.
She picked up almost immediately.
“Ara,” she said in a breathless voice, “I’ve been trying to get in touch with you.”
“Sorry, I’ve been in meetings all morning,” I replied.
“The Department of Fertility takes priority over your job. It’s in your contract.”
I paused outside the bathroom, pinching the bridge of my nose when I felt a headache coming on. This woman was seriously irritating. “What am I supposed to do if I’m in a meeting?”
“Keep your phone on and answer if there’s a call from me. Your co-workers will understand. It is, after all, the law.”
“Not all of my co-workers know I’m in the program,” I replied, glancing around to make sure no one was listening.
“And why not?” she snapped.
“Because it’s private. Personal. They don’t need to know my medical history.”
“This is public record, and it’s not like you’re going to be able to hide it forever. What happens when you start to show?”
“I’ll tell people when I have to,” I snapped, “but for now, it’s none of their business.”
Hilary let out a huff. “I don’t see the point in secrecy. Plus, you should be proud of the part you’re playing in saving the human race.”
It was my turn to huff. “What was it that you wanted, Hilary?”
“Oh, yes,” she said, as if just realizing she’d called for a reason. “We need you to come into the office right away.”
My entire body stiffened. “What? Why? What’s going on?”
“That’s a discussion for when you arrive, which should be as soon as possible.”
Dread pooled in my belly. Something was wrong. What was it, though, and how would it affect me?
“Do you understand, Ara?” Hilary snapped when I said nothing.
“Yes,” I mumbled. “I’ll leave now.”
“Good,” my fertility counselor replied.
When she said goodbye, I mumbled my response, and the call cut out, but for a second, I couldn’t move. I had a very bad feeling about this.
I shot Teresa a quick text on my way out the door. Hilary was right, after all. The Fertility Act made it clear that all employers must put the welfare of unborn babies first. Plus, I knew my boss would be supportive.
The walk to the Health Department building was short, but I still seemed to get there in no time.
And I didn’t even remember the walk. My mind was too busy spinning in circles, too focused on what I would learn once I arrived.
Genetic testing could reveal a whole range of issues, but from what I’d read, it wasn’t always definitive and often, an amnio was needed to confirm a diagnosis.
But was it too early for that? I thought so, but since I’d been told to come in, maybe I was wrong.
Then there was the ultrasound, which seemed to have gone okay, but I hadn’t really paid that much attention.
Maybe between it and the bloodwork, they’d discovered something bad.
Maybe I’d have to have a D&C and start this whole process over in six weeks.
The thought had me torn because while I didn’t want to have surgery, I also didn’t want to be pregnant. Although that was something I would be sure to keep to myself. No reason to fan the fire when it was already blazing.
I was too distracted while going through security to even register who was on duty and could barely conjure up the required responses when addressed. And as if sensing my mood, Ramirez left me alone for once.
Department of Fertility Barbie straightened when I stepped out of the elevator on the third floor. “Miss Murphy, you’re here. Good. I’ll let Hilary and the doctor know.”
I swallowed when I couldn’t find my voice, then said, “Do you know what this is about?”
The way she flushed told me she did, but she quickly shook her head. “The doctor will fill you in.”
I wasn’t sure if she’d been instructed not to say anything or if my lecture from last time had done the trick, but she quickly looked away and picked up the phone.
As I moved to the waiting room in a daze, I heard her say, “Miss Murphy is here.”
I didn’t even have a chance to sit before the frosted glass door opened and Hilary popped her head out. “Ara?”
Instantly, I changed course.