Chapter 42
Orim
After triple checking the lockdown protocols, ?rim maneuvered his levibike to its charging port while Cassie went inside ahead of him.
Once he came in, he removed his dusty boots, initiated the final sequence, and went to go check on her, noticing that she hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights.
?rim removed his eyestones in the appropriately dim interior and placed them in his pocket.
Cassie had made it five paces inside their home and then stopped as if her energy core suddenly sputtered out.
Still wearing her boots, Cassie sat on the ground staring at nothing.
One of his paring blades, the one he’d been using just that morning, was next to her on the ground.
And she was bleeding. Sokt, she was bleeding.
A deep, red fissure across her wrist. Blood pooled onto the stone flooring below, and Cassie wasn’t even there.
Her eyes were glazed and unfocused, and ?rim felt nothing but the rising tide of panic.
This was different than before. Before she’d only caused superficial damage.
?rim froze beside her, torn between the risk of leaving her unattended and the need to stop the bleeding.
Humans died if they lost too much blood.
Was that her intention? Was she trying to die?
He collected the blade first, pocketing it so she couldn’t get it again.
Stop the bleeding. Stop the blood. She wasn’t going to die.
He wasn’t going to let her die. ?rim tore off his shirt and knelt in front of her.
He wouldn’t have her out of his sight now.
“You’re safe, Cassie.” ?rim kept his voice low as he heaved himself to the ground next to her.
“He’s not getting anywhere near you. I’m going to keep you safe.
I’m going to keep you alive. Even if that’s not what you want right now.
” He wrapped her wrist with his shirt, applying pressure with one hand like he’d seen in the human first-aid holos he’d watched.
With the other hand, he contacted Eleri.
We need immediate assistance. Cassie is bleeding profusely.
What happened?
She used a knife. On herself.
Coming now.
The minutes before Eleri’s arrival were the longest he’d ever endured in his life. Cassie wouldn’t look at him. His shirt wasn’t stopping the bleeding. Her skin grew paler, and she started to tremble. ?rim moved to support her shaking body.
Eleri and K’kaen arrived soon after. ?rim hefted Cassie into his arms so he could open the door without taking his eyes or hands off her. Once inside, Eleri moved with quiet efficiency, organizing her supplies.
“You need to put her down.”
“I can’t.” ?rim squinted painfully as K’kaen turned the overhead lights on, and his unprotected eyes faced the full brunt of their glare. He couldn’t let Cassie go. He needed to feel her heart beating, or he was going to fall apart.
“She’s going to be okay. I just need to see her injury and give her some stitches. We’re all watching her. Nothing is going to happen.”
Wordlessly, K’kaen started to mop up the blood on the floor.
?rim compromised, sitting on the ground with Cassie still in his arms. Only when Eleri tried to pull Cassie’s arm free did she finally jerk back to life.
She shook her head vehemently making a single hand sign for pain over and over again.
“I need to see.” Eleri’s voice was firm yet kind. “I know it hurts.”
“Let her see, aoseria.” ?rim’s whole body stiffened with fear as he helped her move her arm forward. Cassie’s trembling grew worse until her teeth chattered together in the most horrible noise he’d ever heard in his life.
“Breathe. You’re having a vasovagal response. You’re going to start to sweat. You might faint. Keep breathing. I’m going to look at your injury, ok?”
“Is she dying?” ?rim finally asked the question boring a hole in the back of his mind.
“No. She’s not dying.” Eleri paused to address Cassie.
“Good, just like that. Imagine a box. Breathe around all four corners of the box.” She unwrapped the shirt, and to her credit, kept her face neutral while ?rim felt like his entire carapace was moments away from shattering off.
“I’m going to clean this with antiseptic.
Cassie, I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to answer me honestly, ok? ”
Cassie managed a shaky nod in ?rim’s arms as Eleri started to clean Cassie’s wound.
“Did you or do you have a plan to end your own life?”
The room went silent before Cassie finally shook her head. Too deep. Accident. Couldn’t feel anything.
“Can you tell me what she said?” Eleri asked ?rim, who was struggling between relief that she wasn’t trying to kill herself and horror over what she had done anyway. He wasn’t even sure if he believed her. A dark part of himself echoed the reminder of her words from after she’d lost Rhea.
“She said it was an accident. She wasn’t trying to…” He couldn’t form the rest of the sentence.
“Not trying to cut so deep?” Eleri asked.
“Yes.” He exchanged a glance with Eleri, who seemed to have the same instinct about the veracity of Cassie’s words.
“You’re being incredibly brave. Thank you for telling me.
This is going to pinch and then you won’t feel anything for a bit.
” Eleri prepared a syringe and injected it into Cassie’s forearm.
Cassie’s shoulders tightened against ?rim’s chest. “Okay. A couple of stitches now. Then you’re going to avoid using your hand for anything until they heal, okay?
I’ll also give you a cell booster to amplify the healing process. ”
The second syringe made Cassie shiver violently. He held her closer but knew he had little physical warmth to offer. “That’s just your adrenaline making you shake. Hold as still as you can for me.”
Despite Eleri’s instructions, Cassie couldn’t stop trembling.
?rim clutched at her shoulders, trying to keep her still despite the tremors quaking through her.
Finally, Eleri finished the last stitch.
The bleeding had stopped. ?rim’s energy core settled.
Cassie turned in toward him, clutching her hands hard against his chest node.
“Tell me what I need to know about her care.” He started to rub Cassie’s back, frantic to keep her as calm as possible as she heaved in desperate gasps of air.
“Keep it clean and dry. No big movements for the next few days at least. I’ll leave you with some bandages, pain killers, and antiseptic.”
“Does she need more blood? She lost a lot of blood.”
“She’s going to be okay physically, ?rim. I’m more worried about her mental state. Keep an eye on her. No leaving her alone. Not even in the lavatory. Lock up all the sharp objects.” Eleri removed her gloves and stood up. “I’ll be back tomorrow to check on things, ok?”
“Everything is already locked up.”
“Medications too?” Eleri asked in a soft voice.
“Everything.”
“Good. Keep it that way.”
Cassie didn’t join the conversation, but ?rim felt the drips of tears falling from her face onto his pants.
After Eleri and K’kaen had left, they continued sitting there in the middle of the floor together.
His aoseria wept silently, and ?rim had no words sufficient to share.
He couldn’t remove the image of her bleeding from his eyes.
Even though K’kaen had cleaned all the blood off the floor with practiced efficiency, ?rim didn’t think he would ever be able to forget the precise spot where it had been.