Chapter 54
Cassie
She shouldn’t have fallen asleep like that against the tank.
Her neck ached as she blinked back to consciousness, feeling unexpectedly damp.
There was a hand on her hair, arms around her body.
She stared back at the tank first, finding it empty.
Had something happened? Was he gone? Did Aglao or Eleri move him without her knowledge to spare her some tiny final moment of despair?
Cassie pressed her hand against the glass, not sure if she was asleep or awake. The hand on her head remained, a firm, persistent pressure. She finally gathered the courage to look up.
“?rim.” The name on her lips tasted like electricity.
?rim. She repeated his name with her hands because she didn’t know what else to say.
What could she say that would take the feelings she’d nearly drowned in and clarify them into sound?
She dove into his open arms, taking in every facet of him as if for the first time. Are you real?
“I hope so.” He held her tightly. “How long have you been alone?” ?rim stroked her hair. “Have you been eating? I can feel your ribs.”
“I didn’t think you were coming back.” The words were muffled against his bare shoulder as he clutched her trembling body closer still. Cassie fell apart in his arms, her entire body bleeding out the pain she’d been carrying for the past months.
“I know.” He traced circles between her shoulder blades with his thumb. “I wasn’t certain either. Thank you for staying. I wasn’t sure if you would.”
This admission only made Cassie weep harder. “Don’t ever leave me again.”
“I would never leave you intentionally.”
Cassie nodded, believing his conviction if not his words.
He held her like that for what felt like hours, not asking anything, not needing her to do anything, just being there as a solid presence until she felt like she could be again.
It almost wasn’t enough. Cassie needed more of him.
She needed to wrap herself inside of him and stay there until she could undo all the time she’d been without him.
Can we go home? she finally asked.
“Whatever you like, aoseria. I’m just grateful to be able to hold you again.”
There was a knock at the door. “Cassie, are you okay? You were supposed to go visit the pups this morning, but I didn’t see you leave.
” Eleri poked her head inside the door, making eye contact with Cassie, who was still very much wrapped up in ?rim’s arms. The door banged open without ceremony.
Eleri stared at them, at ?rim, at Cassie, and then back at ?rim again.
Her eyes filled with tears. “Thank all the gods and stars.” She smudged the tears away from her face with the sleeve of her uniform. “Let me get Aglao. Do you need anything? ?rim, how are you feeling?”
Behind Cassie, ?rim shifted his weight slightly. “If it’s not too much trouble, can someone get me a new set of eyestones? I’m mostly blind without them now. I have a few spare sets back at my home. Oh, and maybe some clothing.”
Eleri nodded. “I’ll send S’samph or K’kaen to go get them for you. Where do you keep them?”
“In a box on my desk. Clothes are in the closet.” He stood on unsteady legs, still holding Cassie close while Eleri sent a comm. “How long was I in the reseeding tank?”
“About two standard months. Let’s get you downstairs so we can do an exam, and then we’ll answer all your questions.
” Eleri held the door open. Cassie reluctantly dragged herself away from him, unable to shake the sense of dread that if she let him go, he would disappear.
She followed ?rim and Eleri down the stairs.
“Cassie, with love, please go take a shower while we look over ?rim. I’ll grab something clean for you to wear.” Eleri pointed in the direction of the clinic’s lavatory and cleansing unit.
Cassie’s face burned with embarrassment for the first time since he’d disappeared. She didn’t want to go, didn’t want him out of her sight, but she suddenly remembered that she had a body, and it was sticky with old sweat and crusted with dried blood.
She retreated to the lavatory, reminding herself that this was real.
He was here. He would still be there when she returned.
Hot water and soap washed over her as she sobbed in private.
Cassie had spent so long fighting against everyone else’s desire to keep her alive, she didn’t quite remember what it meant to stay alive of her own volition.
When she emerged from the shower, she found a clean towel and the clothing Eleri had mentioned.
Cassie dried herself and slipped into the things that hung from her lank frame.
She held her breath as she reentered the clinic’s atrium, not willing to believe what had happened was real until she saw him again, until she was touching him.
?rim sat up on the exam table, looking over a set of scans with Aglao.
“I am impressed at your healing capabilities. There are few species that could recover from such a traumatic dematerialization.” Aglao finished their exam and turned off the med scanners. “It is fortunate Cassie had recovered such a significant piece of your original composition.”
“Piece of my composition?” ?rim glanced at Cassie for an explanation while reaching out to offer her his hand.
“Your heart,” she said.
“My chest node? You kept that?”
She nodded and placed a hand flat against his chest. “Your heart.” She hadn’t meant to start crying again, but her eyes were wet. ?rim gathered her close.
“Thank you for bringing me back to you.”
You’re the most peace I’ve ever known. She breathed him in, his familiar scent and presence granting her a reprieve from the hollowness she’d been battling.
“And you’re the fiercest storm I’ve weathered. My aoseria.” ?rim tucked her head under his chin. “Shall we go home now?”
Cassie nodded against him.
Eleri activated her wrist interface. “I’ll ask S’samph to drive you both back.
No strenuous activities until you’re fully reseeded.
You’re still a cracking risk for the next few days.
” After warning ?rim, Eleri turned to Cassie.
“And you, you need to eat and stop sleeping on the floor. No more sitting and pining and neglecting yourself, ok? ?rim will tell me if you do.”
Cassie sniffed and laughed a bit through her tears. “You sound like S’samph.”
“He’s a bad influence, what can I say?” Eleri sighed and stretched. “Take care of each other. We’ll come visit soon and bring some more food and reseeding solution.”
While they waited in silence for S’samph’s arrival, with ?rim’s arms wrapped firmly around her, Cassie finally felt safe.