Chapter Forty #2
“I guess so, but to me, he’s just God. That was his name in my religion in my past life,” I explained, toying with a loose string on one of Kalon’s shirt buttons.
“He couldn’t tell me everything in our first meeting, and I apparently bargained with him for the memories of both my soul and this body, so he took the memory of our time together in exchange.
I was quite irritated when I found that out, but I finally learnt the truth.
I did read about this world in a book, but it was only one of many timelines this world has gone through. What I read is not the destined path.”
“How did you read about it?”
“Something about reincarnations who remember their past lives and write them in their new lives,” I explained vaguely. “He said there might be stories from my past world in this one, so I’m going on a hunt through the library when we get back to Stein.”
“Of course. It’s your library anyway.”
That was the sexiest thing anyone had ever said to me.
I cleared my throat. “Anyway, um, basically, I said how my soul was brought here after Alicia’s accident, right?”
Kalon nodded, stroking my hair.
“I’m not just a random soul who ended up here. I’m the original Alicia. I lived four lives in this world before God took my soul for safekeeping.”
It sounded completely insane when I said it out loud.
“Ever since the end of my first life, this world has been in a loop of regression, triggered by my untimely death,” I explained softly. “God replaced my soul with another after my fourth murder.”
Kalon’s hand stilled with his fingers sweeping into my hair. “Your fourth murder?”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “In all my lives here, even those lived by the other soul in this body, I was murdered. I haven’t recovered all the memories, but God showed me my death in my first life.”
“You said earlier that we were together. Do you mean we were married?”
I nodded.
“And you died every time?”
Again, I replied in the same way.
He tightened his embrace, pulling my head against his chest. He rested his chin on top of my head, keeping me tightly locked against him. “Tell me about it.”
“You have to promise not to let me go,” I whispered.
“I promise.”
“You were the Crown Prince and I was the Crown Princess. The memory I saw was around a birthday party we were holding at Stein Castle for you. It was quite a broken sequence, but everyone was happy, and…” I hesitated. “I was pregnant.”
Kalon’s fingertips dug into my hip. “What?”
“I was pregnant,” I repeated. “It was funny because Sir Hayes and Rina were married, and he was fussing over me because she yelled at him whenever I went missing from my bed. It seemed like I suffered quite a bit from morning sickness, but I didn’t like being confined, so I kept running away to your office. ”
“That’s the craziest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
“I know, but I can see it.” I smiled, hugging his arm to me.
“But right after that I saw the party. I had a headache and went inside with Rina and Bella. Bella went to get me medicine while Rina took my tea from a maid. I dismissed Rina and drank my tea, but it was poisoned, and I died almost immediately.”
Kalon’s embrace tightened, and his chin jutted into the top of my head when he clenched his jaw. “You—”
“Don’t make me say anymore,” I pleaded. “I had to watch you mourn the death of me and our baby. I can’t talk about that moment, Kalon. Please don’t make me. It haunts me.”
His chest rose and fell several times in quick succession. “All right. I won’t. For now.”
“When I came out of the memory, God told me everything else. You went on a rampage to find those responsible and after killing them, ended up in the temple where you begged God—or Khimos, I suppose—for a second chance. To him, I was a precious soul, and he could see how you loved me, so he granted you it.” I pressed my face into his chest. “But something went wrong when he turned back time. You didn’t return with your memories like he intended, and after my second death, he realised this world was stuck in loop of regression that was triggered by my death. ”
“Is that why he took your soul?”
“Yes. After my fourth death, he could no longer cope. He took me to be reincarnated and placed another soul in my stead, but nothing changed. In fact, it got worse. The new soul fell in love with you, but you didn’t recognise her as Alicia and somehow ended up falling for Lillia, resulting in the version of this world that I read in my new life. ”
“Did everything change, including how you died?”
“No. The one thing that remained consistent was that the same people were responsible for my death in every single timeline.”
“How did you end up back here?”
“Alicia happened to die from being pushed down the stairs by Sophia. Her death coincided with mine in my world, and God had possession of my soul at the time, so he messed with the regression and swapped our souls.” I gripped his arm.
“That’s why we’re so drawn to each other like this.
We’ve already loved one another in our past lives. ”
Kalon dipped his head and kissed my hair. “Who killed you in those lives, Allie? Who do I need to kill in this life to make sure you stay with me? To make sure you’re safe?”
“D-do you believe me?”
“I believe you,” he said softly. “I don’t think I fully understand what you’re saying, so you’ll need to give me some time to make sense of it all. But that doesn’t mean I don’t believe what you’re telling me. If you’re certain it’s true, then I believe you.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “Are you sure? You’re not lying?”
“How could I ever lie to you? You’ve put the fear of Khimos into me now that I know you’re his precious child.
” Kalon laughed softly, pulling my head back so he could plant kisses across my cheeks, mopping up all the tears that escaped.
“Now, stop crying and tell me who killed you. Tell me who dared infiltrate our castle and poison you under our roof. Tell me who put them up to it. My sword has just been sharpened, and I’m itching to try it out on some necks. ”
This was it. The last thing I had to tell him.
“You promised you wouldn’t leave me,” I whispered.
“Whether I kill them now or next week doesn’t bother me. Rest assured, they will die by my hand before they can think of getting close to you, Allie.”
“It’s not that simple.” I closed my eyes. “This was our first life, okay? That’s all I know right now. God said my memories would slowly return.”
“Okay.”
“Torin was in love with me, but I fell in love with you and chose you. He and the Empress were furious and wanted to break us up, so they used Lillia. She was also in love with you, so they had a mutual goal. When it didn’t work, Torin and the Empress conspired to overthrow the Emperor to order us to divorce, but we uncovered their plan and exposed their treason.
Lillia and Torin were forced to divorce, stripped of their titles, and exiled to separate countries, while the Empress was jailed.
They somehow made contact and used black magic to disguise Lillia’s appearance, which is how she snuck into the castle and poisoned me as a maid.
Torin convinced Lillia that you’d love her if I was out of the picture, but he just wanted to hit you where it hurt the most. God told me they were responsible for my death in every lifetime, even though the methods changed with time. ”
His hold on me once again tightened, but it didn’t last long before he flumped me down onto the bed and rolled me tightly in the bedsheets so I couldn’t move.
“Kalon! Where are you go—”
He threw a pillow on top of my face, and a shing rang out through the room.
“No! Bleck! Ugh!” I thrashed to the side until I tossed off the pillow.
Kalon marched towards the door with his sword drawn and glowing red.
Holy shit.
He’d invoked his aura.
“Kalon! No!” I yelled. “Hayes! Rina! Stop hiiiiiiiiim!”
They shoved the doors open with shouts of their own, but they both stopped short when they saw him storming towards them, bathed in a red glow of mana.
Sir Hayes shouted for help as they both drew their swords. I flopped around the bed, moving this way and that, trying to free myself from the cocoon he’d knotted me up in. More guards appeared in the doorway, and Kalon stopped right in front of them.
“I will give you all one chance to get out of my way before you die.” His voice was bone-chillingly cold to the point I barely recognised it as his. “Move. That’s an order.”
Sir Hayes held up his sword. “I cannot let you go like this, Your Highness.”
“It will cost you your life.”
“Then so be it. My life is yours to command.”
“Nooooo!” I screamed, shuffling my whole body. “Kalon, listen to me!”
Damn it, what did he do to these sheets?
Kalon raised his sword, and a warmth spread through my whole body.
Oh, no.
I recognised this. This was exactly how I felt as the monster attacked, right before my power burst out of me.
“Help!” I whimpered.
“My lady!” Rina said, swinging her sword as she shoved Kalon out of her way. Her blade made contact with his arm, slicing through both his shirt and his skin if the blood that soaked the fabric was anything to go by. “My lady, you must calm down!”
“I can’t! Rina, I’m stuck! Make him stop!”
Rina clawed at the sheets Kalon had wrapped me in and managed to free my arms, but the heat that was snaking through me was only growing warmer.
“My head.” I clawed at my hair as she hugged me tightly. “My head hurts.”
“I know. But you must—”
“Move.” Kalon spoke over her, and I barely registered being moved from Rina’s arms to his. “Everyone get out.”
“But sir—” Sir Hayes protested.
“Get out!”
The doors slammed, and I winced, being drawn deeper into Kalon’s embrace.
“Allie, I’m sorry.” He cupped my face and tilted it towards his. “I’m sorry, my Allie. Calm down. You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“I-I can’t. I don’t… don’t know how.” I tugged at my hair. Why wouldn’t the pain in my head stop? Was it worse now because I knew what was happening and was trying to make it stop?
“Fuck. Don’t hate me.” Kalon covered my mouth with his, slipping his tongue between my lips so forcefully it shocked me to my core. Without breaking the connection, he rolled me onto my back and leant over me, pinning me flat against the bed.
There was nothing romantic at all about the kiss. It was a raw, desperate kiss that begged and pleaded for my attention with every probe of his tongue.
It was a distraction. Nothing more, nothing less.
And it worked.
The burning heat that came from the mixing of my mana and divine power subsided, giving way to a prickly heat of lust that only Kalon could draw out of me.
I whimpered into his mouth, and he pulled back, pressing his forehead to mine.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I lost control. I wanted to kill them first. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
I yanked him down and wrapped myself around him, clinging to him for dear life. “If you’re that sorry then take me home.”
“Home?”
“To Stein. I want to leave here. Take me back to Stein, Kalon.”
He curled his body around me, letting out a shaky breath as he rolled to the side.
“Tomorrow,” he whispered. “I’ll take you away from here.
I’ll train more knights. I’ll hire mercenaries.
I’ll move in mages. I’ll find every assassin on the continent and bring them in.
I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe.
I’ll take you home tomorrow, even if it means carrying you there myself. ”
He brushed his lips across my temple, and I squeezed my eyes shut so that no more tears could fall.
“I promise that they’ll never hurt you again, my Allie. You will not be the one who dies this time. I swear.”