Chapter 50
fifty
. . .
Aten
Why did they have to call it that? Ever’s whole body shifted and changed. I could feel it in her muscles as soon as the words rang out.
It at least seemed to put an end to the question of whether the Maker would intervene.
My father backed down, and the Orders set about speaking with her.
Mother joins us. “Ten, will you take me back now?” Her voice is thready as she asks, and I look at Ever, who smiles with encouragement.
“Go on. I’m fine. You don’t need to babysit me.”
“I’m not.” I am. I don’t want her out of my sight after what just happened. But she’s always been stubborn.
I flick my eyes to Lyle and then note where Calix and General Aster are. They’re still here, and both have defended Ever.
“I’ll be right back.” I kiss Ever’s head and offer my arm to my mother. It’s not something I would have thought to do in the past, but she looks too frail to risk it.
We exit and start down the steps.
“Do you think less of me now that you know?”
“No. You were doing what you thought was right.” It’s too easy to lie now. They flow from my mouth before I’ve even questioned the words.
“You aren’t that good at deception. You think you are. You need to learn that still.”
“Like you did?” I regret it immediately. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.” Another lie.
“As am I. What will you do now?”
Her question strikes me as if I need to make a decision, or perhaps she is still as wise and skilled as people have suggested, and I am just in denial.
“Have you spoken to your father?”
“To say what? I know all I need.” Not a lie.
He has no kindness for Ever. That is clear, but I am less interested in the past and what has gone before, now that she is safe.
She knows the truth. She’s done her part in righting our wrongs.
And I wouldn’t have been on the right path to save her if my father had been my Advocate.
It’s a simple fact that has taken a while to register.
“Has he forgiven you? It doesn’t sound like he has? ” I ask. It’s a loaded question.
“We are all where we are. There is no changing the course now. Aslendrix has seen to that.”
The remaining trip to the apartments is quiet, the weight of the words lingering. Now that the Maker has taken her position, there will be an upheaval. We saw a glimpse of that within the Chamber, though they will be the most perturbed by the changes coming. They are the ones to lose out.
Tomorrow will mark the first of the burial ceremonies as well as the shift of change, if the rumours don’t swamp everyone after people are dismissed tonight.
Nobody in that room challenged me, even though I am powerless. I wish it were the same for Ever. I wanted to tear that man’s fucking arm off for daring to touch her. Calix’s punch was more than fair.
That’s the reality now. I might still have skill, but I am not the same Aten Ciro I was.
As I deliver my mother back, her lucid, focused state slips further from her grasp, and she takes up her familiar vigil of staring out into the darkness of the window as I settle her into her chair.
I’d hoped that no longer having the burden of influencing my father’s emotions and his fear of what might happen or what they did might have lessened her decline.
Maybe my lack of magic will spare that future for me.
Her eyes catch on my bracelet as I stand to leave. The amethyst stone is shining in the centre. I thought it would be a part of me for the rest of my life. But it won’t be. I unknot the leather and pull it from my wrist, clenching my fist as I do.
“Here.” I place it in her hand.
“Aten, no.”
“It has no magic, no power. I told you this.” She clings to my hand, forcing me to stay in contact with the bracelet. Her eyes look scared—terrified—as if she can’t understand.
“Let go,” I tell her, and pull my hand. “It’s okay, Mum.” I’ve not called her that for years.
The bracelet rests in her grip as if she clings to more than just the redundant charm.
“I know you only did your best. You always have. Thank you for being my Advocate.”
“Why are you saying goodbye?” She scrutinises me.
“I’m not.” But as I say it, perhaps I am.
“The Maker will change everything now.”
“Maybe.” But I can still feel Ever’s reaction to the naming of this battle—this scar in Kirrasia’s history—and think that it won’t be enough. “This isn’t goodbye, but I need to do something. I love you. Keep this for me, okay.” I close her hand around the bracelet, and I leave.
My pace quickens as I head back to the Great Hall. Mentally, I try to reach Ever, but I’m in the dark, our connection dormant.
We never talked about afterwards, and now, I’m terrified she might do something noble and stupid, and leave, citing it as best for me and Kirrasia.
Well, it fucking isn’t best for me. And I’ve answered my own doubts.
I don’t want to be without her, either in a world with or without magic.
She is all the magic I need. I fell for her before I knew the full extent of her power, and now I’ve seen how selfless she’s been—how much she cares—how could I not want her in my future?
I break into a run and race up the twisting steps to the hall, but am barred by two Warrior Officers I don’t recognise.
“Chamber members only.”
“Is Orion Ciro still the Head of the Warrior Order?” I don’t have fucking time for this.
“Yes.”
“Well, fucking let me in.”
They both look a little surprised, but one pushes the wooden doors open. Everyone still seems to be here, and I catalogue the faces and people from earlier, searching for her familiar auburn hair.
But it’s not here. She’s not here.
“Calix!” I shout and cut through the people towards the far wall where he’s talking with Kyra. “Have you seen Ever?”
“Yeah, she’s with Lyle. They were…” he trails off as he looks around and comes up empty. “She’s probably just gone back or something,” he tries to placate me.
“Nope. Just come back from the apartment. She’s not there.”
“What’s the problem, Ten?” Kyra checks.
“When did they post Officers outside? Can you still get in and out of here without being seen?” I keep looking for Lyle or Ever. She wouldn’t have left without her.
“No. We’ve all been brought in. Nobody wants the rumours to spread before they’re ready,” Kyra fills in.
“The Maker. Where is she?”
“She’s with the Orders, last I heard, deciding on a suitable pool of candidates for the next position of Head of the Guard Order. Your father was quick to put your name in. If the usual rules have been amended, maybe our futures aren’t going to be so different after all.”
I look up at the dais where the four chairs are positioned, down from the one the Maker set up for herself under Aslendrix. But it’s empty.
“No. No, no, no.” I scrunch my hands through my hair as I look around blindly, searching through the faces. My heart beating wildly, I shoulder-barge past Elementals and Naturals, not caring who I touch or who I annoy.
“Ten? What’s going on?” Kyra’s followed in my wake.
“I think Ever’s left.”
“Okay. We’ll go and find her. She might be at the training residence, although—”
“No. I mean, left Kirrasia.”