2. Thayla
Thayla
He’s returned.
Him.
My gaze never leaves his, even when it’s clear he’s not going to answer my breathy whisper. Confusion and denial run wild through my mind as he shifts his focus from me to over his shoulder. My attention follows, and my arms drift down to my sides.
The barrier behind him splits open, giving us a clear view of what he’s guarding so protectively. We stagger back a step as a pulse of power washes through the space, making it feel impossibly small.
Bright luminescent light flares through the opening, and my heart hammers against my ribs. I’ve felt this sensation a few times, but never like this. Reckless desire pulls me toward it, but I force my feet to stay planted.
The familiar power slithers over my skin, stealing the air from my lungs and silencing the madness taking root in my mind.
We’ve found exactly what we came for.
The replicas don’t hold a candle to this.
They’re small enough to fit in my palm, and their essence stays trapped inside a smooth globe. Protective bronze wraps around each creation, with little feet for them to stand on. They’re functional and portable. A pale comparison to this.
The original Gods Binding.
Three broad bronze steps stretch nearly the length of the room, leading up to a circular dais. Bronze arches curve around the platform like the remnants of an enormous cage, engraved with swirling patterns, stars, the sun, and the moon.
There is no globe restricting the essence.
Suspended between the bronze supports hovers a sphere of brilliant white power. It churns endlessly like clouds of light folding over one another in slow, graceful currents.
The replicas are lanterns.
This is the star they borrowed their light from.
My breathing labors as my eyes trace the massive creation. It’s beautiful and hypnotizing. The raw, ancient essence calls to all of us. We lean forward, unable to stop ourselves from answering its pull.
Faster than I can blink, the barrier slams shut, severing the connection. We stumble like we were struck across the chest.
My eyes race to adjust to the dim lighting. My fingers tighten around my daggers as the haze lifts from my mind. Torches blaze to life, and light fully claims him.
Something in me recoils and leans in at the same time.
It makes no sense. It makes too much sense.
My pulse roars in my ears, drowning out everyone’s heavy breathing—except his. His breaths are measured, steady, like this moment is exactly how it was always meant to unfold.
No.
He takes another step forward, and none of us move.
“Valthaneus,” Amick says with absolute certainty. “Beginning God of Boundaries.”
He doesn’t respond. His eyes drift shut, and he dips his head.
My realm tilts.
Everything leans to the side, slow and sickening, like my insides have been knocked out of place. My upper belly swirls in an unforgiving pattern as my Chaos begs for freedom. I can’t give it that—not in this room.
So instead of spreading outward, it flows through me, trapping itself beneath my skin. A fierce ringing drowns out everything. Then it fades.
No sound. No breath. No thought.
And then—
I laugh.
It bursts out sharp, sudden, wrong for the moment, wrong for the intensity in the air. Too loud and wild for this silence. I tuck my face into the crook of my elbow like I can block the racket, forcing it back down, but it keeps spilling out.
Gods. I can’t stop.
Tears burn down my face as my laughter twists into something between hysteria and disbelief. An unhinged melody. I toss my head back before the liquid can trail over my chin.
Fingers wrap around my bicep, and my watery gaze collides with the confusion written across Riven’s face.
That makes me laugh harder, curling in on myself.
Of all the twists and turns we’ve encountered, this should be the one that has his Chaos coming through full force.
Right—he can’t. None of us can access our power here.
He would be laughing with me, though.
No one tries to stop the madness slipping from my lips, but the rest of my men step closer. Their tugs on my soul speak to the concern trampling through them, but it doesn’t stop my mirth.
Valories, I can’t believe this. I’m truly losing my mind.
I drag in a breath that shudders on the way down, forcing my laughter to splinter into breathless chuckles.
I make myself look at the God of Boundaries.
His eyes soften in a way that makes my heart jolt painfully.
Riven’s grip tightens as I step forward, but I yank free. Three strides carry me ahead before I spin back around to face him, my other men, and my friends.
“I’d like to introduce all of you to Valthaneus, the Beginning God of Boundaries,” I say, clapping my daggers together like I’m giving him a round of applause.
No one claps along with me. Not even my little psycho. Everyone stares at me, confusion and worry warring across their faces.
I glare over my shoulder.
“Or better fucking known as Thane Godrun. My father.”
I can’t keep a straight face when I say it.
I choke on another laugh that eventually shoves its way through my tickled throat. My body bends forward until I’m resting my clenched daggers against my knees, and I can’t suck in a breath as I lose myself.
There’s no other sound echoing in this chamber but what’s coming out of me.
I believe I just shocked everyone still.
“Thayla…”
My head jerks at his whispered prayer of my name and something akin to a growl rips from my throat as I whirl around, pointing my dagger toward him. All the humor leaves me in an instant.
“Don’t,” I grit out. “Don’t you dare say my name with that tender tone.”
My chest heaves and my hands shake uncontrollably as I stare into the eyes that once matched mine so brilliantly. Amick described my irises as concentric rings that were composed of gold, green, blue, and brown. The colors didn’t bleed together. They coexisted.
His are still the same. Each color has a boundary laid between them, keeping them from mixing.
Mine no longer match.
My arm grows heavier by the second as we continue to stare at one another and black spots dance along the edge of my vision. The longer he searches my face, the more his crumbles.
I wish I could say that the way his eyes shatter makes me feel better, but it doesn’t. The hurt, disappointment, utter fucking confusion pounding through me intensifies as I bow my shaking head and sheath my daggers.
I take the realm’s deepest breath as I stare at my feet, willing the unforgiving spinning to stop.
I can’t…fuck this.
Not another word or laugh slips past my lips as I turn from him. My gaze doesn’t meet anyone else’s as I stomp across the space. Not my men’s, not Yemi’s or Lambrit’s. No one’s. My focus stays locked on the spot in the wall I need to reach to leave.
That’s all I want to do. Need to do.
I need to get the hell out of this room.
No one attempts to stop me, but every one of them follows me.
Their footsteps echo behind me as I march through the stark white room, then through that single door.
A wave of power breezes over my skin as I hit the previously locked hallway. The doors are still gone. It’s as empty and as dark as it was minutes ago when we left. I don’t wait around to see if anything changes.
My heart thunders in my ears and sweat breaks out across my skin as I practically sprint through the Sanctum to get outside.
If I could starshoot, I would. But I can’t.
Not because my powers are acting up, but—
The second my feet hit the grass in the Assembly, my stomach revolts. There’s no stopping everything swooshing around as it travels up and out of my mouth, burning my throat as it comes.
Multiple sets of hands grip me, holding me up and moving my hair from my face.
“We’ve got you, Thayla,” Kyzen whispers.
They caress me, mumble promises, and keep me standing as I throw my guts up all over this sacred spot.
This isn’t real. It’s impossible.
None of this…
I force the denial in my mind to shut the fuck up. Rejecting this truth won’t change it. Avoidance won’t fix it. There’s no point shutting down my shattering heart and scattered thoughts.
So I don’t. I embrace it.
For a moment.
A mournful laugh, maybe a sob, I don’t know, cuts through my dry heaving, and I latch onto the hands that are holding me. I soak up their strength and let it bleed through my soul.
“F-fuck. This is really happening,” I whisper.
My men don’t say anything, yet their souls speak loud and clear.
This is real.
I force my spine to straighten and with shaky hands, I wipe the bile from my lips.
“That was my father,” I mutter.
To no one. Everyone.
I figured silence would follow my obvious statement. Instead, voices rise in every direction. My men talk all at once. Our friends surrounding us ask and make comments I can’t respond to.
All of it crashes together into noise that’s too much and too loud. My body sways, but I lock my knees.
“I need two seconds of silence.”
The Assembly falls hauntingly quiet. I cherish it.
My men brush their thumbs in circles across my skin and my attention zeroes in on those spots, letting them ground me.
“We—”
Creed’s words are silenced as a flash of white light flares through the space. We each tense, then relax a fraction as soon as we recognize the power.
Guilt stares back at me as I drag my gaze up to meet Derivius’s. The tension between us hangs in the air long enough that my men shift even closer to me.
He already knows. He’s always known.
“I’m so sorry, little troublling.”
I swallow the saliva collecting in my mouth and grit my teeth.
“For what?”
“For what comes next.”
Another presence tears into the space the second the words leave his lips. Then another.
My gaze scans over my father, standing shoulder to shoulder with Meridamus. The serious, stoic emotions on their faces have my glare narrowing.
“That’s…wait. What’s going—”
I cast a glance over my shoulder as Yemi shushes Doren and holds on to his hands like she stopped him from moving forward. His wild eyes bounce from her, over my head, then at me. His mouth opens and closes repeatedly.
“Thayla, I swear I didn’t know.”
Didn’t know…
My attention pivots back to the three men standing before us.
Meridamus stands tall as my father squeezes his shoulder.
Reality—the reality I’ve known for over twenty fucking years—fractures right before my eyes.
From my scalp to my toes, everything vibrates as the barrier around Meridamus’s body dissolves. My tongue hums at a frequency so high, my teeth rattle.
“My name is Sumadirem. Beginning God of Consequence.”
“No,” I mumble. “Fuck no. What kind of game are you all playing?”
The denial roars in my mind, but it becomes less plausible the longer I stare into Meridamus’s eyes. The darker brown continues to lighten into a glowing, shining amber. His skin clears and seemingly ages backward.
I lean harder into the arms of my men who hold on to me like my life depends on it. All I can do is thrash my head from side to side.
“No. Your name is Meridamus Bellame, and you have no power. You’re not a god. You’re from Oddian, and you have a son named Mellcom, who is a fucking traitor. You are not the Beginning God of Consequence.”
He flinches at the bite in my tone. “Denying the truth doesn’t make it untrue, Thayla girl.”
My body falls still as his words settle into my chest like lead. The ringing in my mind is loud enough to blur my sight.
Everything. Literally every single moment of my life…
Gods, every decision. It all has been built upon a lie.
“One day, truths will be revealed to you. Each one will feel like a betrayal.”
Oh, Willow…you tried to warn me.
A deep numbness spreads through every drop of blood in my body. My veins shiver from the iciness that takes over my insides. The only warmth that sinks in is from the spots where my men’s skin touches my own.
Finally, sound returns, but it’s overwhelming. Not only are my men shouting, but from behind me, so is Doren. Well, honestly, everyone.
Except for my father and Meridamus. They silently observe—examine—the most important people in my life.
“Stop,” I murmur, but no one listens, or maybe they don’t hear me.
Maybe I didn’t even say it out loud.
I don’t know how long I rock back and forth from my heels to my toes. My body is almost too heavy to hold me up while my mind races across everything I know. It’s hard to think straight with all this shouting.
“Enough!”
My bellow slices through the air, sending everyone into a tense hush. I capture the moment of peace and force my thoughts to settle. My father’s softening stare sears into me as if he knows I’m preparing to address him first.
“Why?” I whisper.
That one-word question is so loaded. It’s heavy. It creates a pressure that presses on my shoulders, weighing me down enough that I know if my men weren’t holding me, I’d sink into the ground.
“There’s so much I need and am going to explain to you. Let’s step back inside or go to your house, go wherever. Whatever makes this easier for you, my shooting star.”
My entire body shudders.
That nickname. His calmness. Whatever makes this easier…
It’s too late for easier.
My head shakes back and forth before I can actually get my mouth to work.
“No,” I finally mutter.
His features shatter.
“Thayla, please.”
He takes a step forward, and I stumble back. The strong arms that were keeping me steady move me behind them.
“Back up, pops,” Riven says low. “You heard her and no means fucking no.”
“Son, don’t—”
Riven tsks, waving Derivius off. “It’s best our father-in-law, and…whoever the fuck he is to us, learn their places in our lives here and now.”
“And what place is that?” my father asks with a tone as dangerous as Riven’s. I’ve never heard his voice like that.
I continue to backpedal.
“Beneath her,” Amick states as he takes Riven’s other side. “Beginning Gods or not, none come before her and her wants.”
“After all this time,” Kyzen drawls, aligning himself with the other two. “You don’t get to show back up and control this conversation. The one in control is our Binder. The daughter you two left behind.”
Creed grunts, cracking his neck as he moves to Kyzen’s left. “You can sure try, though.”
Power surrounds the four of them, and my body vibrates from the intensity in the air.
It’s too much.
It’s…
I jump when a set of hands grips my shoulders and whirls me around.
“Thay,” Lambrit mumbles. The concern in his gaze is overwhelming. “What do you need?”
“I-I…”
I can’t get the words out. My gaze bounces to his right when Yemi steps beside him, but I still can’t speak. All I can do is thrash my head from side to side. My chest is rising and falling too fast, and I can’t draw in enough air. Each labored breath is painful.
“Look at me, Thayla,” Iric commands as he steps in front of Lambrit. “Take a deep breath and go.”
Go.
I can’t take a deep breath, but I don’t need to.
My powers alight beneath my skin. With nothing more than a jumbled thought, they wrap around me and whisk me away.