30. Thayla
Thayla
A breathless huff of air flees me. I blink up once again and stare through the glass.
Four brilliant, shining stars are in a perfect formation around another in the middle. They’re all so bright, so perfect, so…whole.
For a moment, I can’t speak.
I’ve spent so much of my life—especially since the Veiling—believing that everything that brought me here was a choice made by someone else. Every person I loved. Every person who loved me.
The battles. The sacrifices. The impossible odds.
But these stars…
We chose each other from the very beginning. The Valories may somehow have known we’d choose each other, but they had to adapt to us.
A quiet laugh escapes me, though my eyes burn.
“I would have never known.”
My mom glances over.
“Known what?”
“That those were the marks our souls left behind.” My voice catches as I look back at the sky. “I’ve spent my entire life looking at the stars, and I never knew I was looking at pieces of us.”
“There are countless stars in the sky. Not every one belongs to a prophecy, powerful god, or even a Starwoven. Some simply belong to someone. Some Starwoven find their way to each other when one holds power, and one does not. Some, though…”
She smiles as she lifts her hand, and the stars beneath the glass shift. The cluster grows closer. Vivid lights stretch and expand until one of them fills my vision. I gasp as the star changes. His face appears within the light, and my hand flies to my mouth.
“Lambrit.”
Her grin grows as she shifts the stars again.
Another light appears.
Rose. Right beside Lambrit.
They’re Starwoven.
Another light.
Mara.
Another Havar, with a star beside him.
Another one.
Yemi.
My heart cracks. My best friend. The girl who walked into my life and somehow felt like she had always belonged there.
“Meet some of your soul family. The beings who decided they and their Starwoven wanted to be close to you for all eternity.”
A shaky laugh leaves me as tears gather. I raise my hand and trace their stars. Rose’s and Lambrit’s stars are impossibly close, confirming what I already thought. Yem has four surrounding her.
Her men. Her Starwoven.
“She knew,” I whisper.
My mom tilts her head.
“Who?”
“Yemi.” I wipe my cheeks, but more tears replace the ones I catch. “She knew her men from the moment she laid eyes on them. Lambrit as well. The second he saw Rose, he was in love.”
She chuckles low.
“Souls are not bound by what minds don’t understand.”
“Must be.” I laugh. “I can’t really understand why Mara and her Valtrue would be a part of my soul family. Well, I suppose her I can understand, but Gladian? He…”
“I know what he did,” she mumbles. “A soul family is just like one you share blood with. You won’t always see eye to eye. You can fight, disagree, go without speaking, and hurt one another. Sometimes those differences can be overcome, and sometimes they cannot.”
The stars shift again as she zooms into one that’s close to my Starwoven, but you can tell it’s isolated from us.
“That’s…Mellcom,” I whisper.
“Yes. That draw you mentioned about Yemi, there’s always a draw between both Starwoven and their soul family. Starwovens are much more pronounced, but there’s also a certain level of recognition in a soul family as well.”
A small smile tugs at my lips as I think about the day I met her. Even before her, Havar. Then…it fades. My throat tightens as memories rearrange themselves in my mind.
“If we—the guys and me—are Starwoven, why didn’t we feel that instant draw?”
She goes quiet and still beside me. That alone tells me the answer is not simple. It’s also probably not a truth I want to hear.
“Because your bond was not allowed to form naturally.”
My brows draw together.
“What do you mean?”
She peers back toward the stars before facing me fully.
“Your souls chose each other. That part has always been true. But your men’s souls…”
She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment.
“They were changed before they ever reached this life.”
A chill slithers down my spine.
“Their creations?” I ask.
She nods.
“Their creation began inside the original Gods Binding.”
“What?” My head twitches with confusion, maybe a touch of denial. “I thought my dad watched over the Binding and made sure none of the others really went near it.”
“He did, but not for this. He knew what had to be done, and as much as he hated it, he allowed it. That is the place where the gods bound their powers together properly for the first time. The Binding’s creation is the foundation of this realm.
It was never meant to be used for personal gain.
It was never meant to be a place of indulgence. It was sacred.”
My stomach twists.
“And the four of them went in and what? Defiled it…”
“Yes. Kira, Calista, Rella, and Sabe entered the Binding together. They combined their powers, allowing their essences to intertwine in a way that they haven’t since its very creation. And they were…intimate.”
The thought of them doing…that…inside the Binding makes me feel sick.
“I don’t say this because I don’t think you’re telling me the truth, but Creation claims she was the one who came up with the idea of how to create the guys and I just can’t wrap my mind around her being okay with that.
I mean, Derivius already told me Rella had sex with Kira, but like… they were all together?”
She glances to the side with just as much disgust on her face as there is on mine. I’m not sex-shaming an orgy in any way. I’m the last person who can talk. My disgust stems from the fact that those three goddesses were supposed to be in love with three different gods.
“Yes. Like I told you, Sabe was supposed to plant seeds of ideas. Calista was the one who wove a possibility. Everyone had a task and knew what they were supposed to do with their power. Rella was to align their goal. Sabe was to…get everyone comfortable. Calista was supposed to create the vessels. Kira’s job was simple. ”
Yeah, I don’t need that detailed for me.
I cringe and nod for her to continue.
“Kira shared himself with all three goddesses, but the part that changed everything was not simply what happened between them. It was what Calista witnessed.”
My head tilts to the side a fraction.
“You mean she witnessed the man she ‘loves’ have sex with two other goddesses?”
She mumbles an uh-huh before continuing.
“Calista knew Kira and Sabe had been close and knew they had their private affairs. She had never seen them together, though. When they entered the Binding, Calista believed they were there for duty. For creation. For something greater than themselves. The creation was supposed to begin with Sabe and she was meant to have one child. But when Calista saw the way Kira and her interacted, she became furious. What was supposed to be an act of duty had become something personal, familiar, and too comfortable for her liking.”
“So she…” I lead when she pauses for a long moment.
“She wouldn’t complete what she had agreed to and refused to make a vessel in Sabe’s womb. She, of course, didn’t tell Kira or Sabe that.”
I scoff.
“Because she was jealous.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’d be fucking jealous too.
I also would never in my damn life agree with something like that in the first place.
“Jealous, hurt. She felt betrayed. She couldn’t separate what she felt from what they had agreed to do.”
I can see it so clearly. Literally, I can picture her eye twitching and head cocking to the side at a creepy angle while she watched the two of them together.
“If that was the case, how did she ever get pregnant with Mellcom?”
“By natural conception. By the time she fell pregnant, the boys were two. What was the point in stopping her ability to conceive then?”
I grunt and let my eyes close for a minute so I can process that.
“And Rella?”
“Unlike Sabe, Rella never allowed herself to forget why they were there. She treated it as a duty. A sacrifice. Nothing more. Rella didn’t show an ounce of emotion during the act. Calista, although still burning with jealousy, decided to create a single vessel rather than the two agreed upon.”
Just one.
Just my Riven.
“And then it was Calista’s turn,” I say. “She created three vessels for herself.”
My mother looks at me and holds my glare.
“She did. She no longer cared about what they had agreed on before stepping into that Binding. She was making a claim. Making it known she’s the greater of the goddesses and that she controls Creation.”
My fingers curl at my sides.
“So, three vessels in her, one in Rella. My men. All they were missing were souls.”
“Yes, but first, those vessels had to become babies with ten toes, ten fingers, a nose, mouth, ears, and…power. They had already decided what power that would be.”
I fall completely still.
“Death, Knowledge, Time, and Duality.”
She shakes her head and my frown deepens.
“Death, Knowledge, Time, Harmony, and Manipulation.”
“What?” I gasp.
“Manipulation was supposed to go to Sabe like originally planned, but since Calista went back on her agreement, she didn’t want to give any baby that power either.
So, to satisfy her jealousy and, I suppose, get back at Rella however she could, she gave her baby Harmony and Chaos.
A daily reminder of the love she lost. The love she threw away. ”
My palms land against my mouth and my eyes slam shut as tears slip down my face. I can’t… I don’t even know what to think or say.
“Everyone always pretended they didn’t know about Riven’s Chaos.”
“Calista always knew.”
That fucking crazy bitch. She still acts so innocent to this day.
I should’ve punched her when I had the chance.
My mom clears her throat, and I force my eyes back open. Her gaze is more tender now than it was a moment ago.
“Their souls still descended naturally the way they were supposed to, but their vessels weren’t like any other.
They were already at a gestation you wouldn’t see for a few months.
They carried too much power early on. Their souls weren’t prepared for what they were being born into.
They began breaking as soon as they attached. ”
“Breaking?” I breathe.