15|Guilt
My heart pounded as he stood there, watching me judgementally and full of hatred.
I thought maybe he wouldn't try to argue with me or win or tear me down today, but I was wrong.
This was a mistake coming here.
"Now that I see that you're okay, I guess I'll just leave," I said.
Knowing Nate, he probably hadn't eaten anything.
If it was up to him, he would starve himself to death because he 'forgot'.
I grabbed the neatly packed containers from the corner of his desk, the ones I stood in the kitchen making this morning even though my hands were shaking.
Even though I hadn't eaten since he left.
Even though I couldn't stop replaying his words in my head.
No.
I straightened myself.
I wasn't going to cry in his office, the DAs office.
Not in front of him.
"What's the point of bringing food if you're just going to leave with it?" He scoffed before looking away.
A small smile tugged at my lips, but I denied.
"Come and sit," he said as he walked over to the couch.
I listened and walked over to him before taking out our containers.
It was garlic mashed potatoes with lemon herb grilled chicken, a meal we ate on our very first dinner date.
The silence between us was loud as we began to eat.
"It's good," he suddenly said and I nodded awkwardly.
However, I barely had the appetite to eat.
All I could think about was what he said last night.
"Can we talk about last night?" I asked and he paused.
"No," he replied before returning to his meal.
I ignored his request.
"Look, I'm really sorry about everything I said last night," I said out of guilt. "About your dad and you being my parent's favourite."
He didn't reply, but I still continued, feeling more guilt.
"I'm sorry I made you feel like I'm pushing you away," I added and he put down the container.
He sighed. "Naomi, everything I said last night was-"
"True," I answered for him and a confused expression appeared on his face.
"You were only stating the obvious," I told him.
He shook his head. "No, I wasn't. I only said those things to hurt you."
"You hurt me all the time and act like it's nothing," he expressed.
"I'm sorry, Nate," I said, my guilt crushing me. "Sometimes I forget."
He stayed quiet before intertwining our hands together.
"I don't know how we made our marriage get to this point, but we're going to fix this," he confidently said, and I immediately broke down.
There he goes again.
Always prepared and confident for things that terrify me.
Our marriage was a shitstorm and he knew that we would make it out alive.
"This isn't how she would've wanted her mommy and daddy to be," I cried and immediately wrapped his arms around me.
"Then we'll be who she wanted us to be," he said softly.
I finally allowed myself to collapse in his chest, and he wrapped his arms tighter around me.
I allowed my tears to fall freely because for the first time in forever, it didn't feel like we were on opposite sides of the war.
His fingers gently moved against my back, grounding me...feeling so good.
Giving me a feeling I missed so much that I forgot it.
"I'm just sorry for everything," I cried. "Sorry for ruining our marriage, sorry for risking Eden's life-"
He eased me away from his chest as he shook his head with furrowed eyebrows. "No, let's not get into that today."
I wiped my eyes before nodding.
He suddenly smiled, trying to clear the tension between us. "You must have really missed me last night if you came all the way to the DA's office."
I nodded shamelessly.
"Don't do that again," I warned him and he put his hands up in surrender.
"Yes, ma'am," he smiled.
My hand automatically reached for his, fingers brushing against his palm as if we hadn't done this in years.
I felt the warmth of his skin against mine, making me remember how desperately I needed his warmth after months of being out in the cold.
He didn't pull away.
Instead his hand tightened around mine as those grey eyes of his stared at me.
I slowly looked up to lock my eyes with him.
"I'm really sorry too, Nae," he said as guilt started to seep through his facial expression.
His office door suddenly opened before a throat cleared.
We both turned to find Attorney General, William Porter, standing in the doorway, his facial expression unreadable.
Nate's hand dropped from mine instantly.
I sat up straighter, wiping my cheeks subtly as I could, pretending like I hadn't just been falling apart in my husband's arms.
"Are you going to just sit there or are you going to come to the meeting?" He asked.
Nate clenched his jaw before standing up. "No sir, I was just on my way."
He rolled his eyes before walking away.
When he did, Nate let out a slow breath through his nose.
"Since when do you have meetings with the Attorney General?" I asked confused as he grabbed his files.
"It's nothing," he said. "Just politics."
"Politics?" I almost shouted, but quickly calmed myself down. "I thought you weren't doing politics."
"It comes with the title," he said. "Don't worry about it. It's not like I'm running for mayor of NYC."
"I'll see you later at home, okay?" He asked, rushing to fix his tie.
His voice was back to his calm, professional, asshole tone.
I gave him a small nod, already gathering my stuff. "Right, of course."
He hesitated for a second before looking at me.
"Nae," he began and I finally looked at him. "Thanks for checking on me."
With that, he rushed out.
I finally allowed myself to smile, just a little, when he was out of sight.
On my way out, I paused when I saw Kate standing at the front desk.
Before I could avoid her, she spotted me. "Naomi."
I clenched my jaw as I walked up to her. "Hey."
She looked down at the bag in my hand. "Visiting Nate?"
"Hmm," I hummed with a simple nod.
"I haven't seen you come in the office," she forced a conversation.
"Took some personal days," I answered her, although I shouldn't have.
She nodded and was about to ask another question, but I stopped her.
"What do you want, Kate?"
She slammed her pen down on the counter before taking a step closer to me.
"What I want is for you to stop this cold act," she said. "The past is in the past."
I scoffed. "The past is in the past?"
"Yes," she glared. "And you know what? You had your influential husband to come and save you back then and he will now too."
I chuckled. "You think it's like that? Nate will just come and save me whenever?"
"I think it's exactly like that," she folded her arms.
I nodded. "That's exactly why you and I can never be friends again."
"Oh come on, Naomi," she sighed.
I ignored her and quickly rushed out before I burst into tears in the front of the damn DA's office.