34|A Beginning Again
I sat in my office as I watched Russell grab Kate's ass, thinking everyone in the office was too busy to notice.
She giggled in response.
She had always been easy.
She and Trey started dating when we got into law school.
He barely tried.
One compliment, a few dry text messages, and Kate was hooked.
But I shouldn't judge.
Nate had no idea I had feelings for him.
Neither did I, but still.
And Russell? He wasn't any better than my brother.
He just liked the attention.
"Not my business," I muttered to myself as I returned my attention to my laptop.
I was focusing so much on the Perez case this morning, that I forgot about my other ones.
They were minor...winnable...non-Nate related.
Soon enough, I heard a knock on my door before Kate barged in.
I rolled my eyes, still looking at my laptop screen and trying to get work done. "I didn't say to come in."
"I don't give a shit," she said, walking around my office. "Russell just told me the judge is reviewing pre-trail motions for the Perez trial today."
"Cool," I muttered, barely glancing up.
She didn't take the hint.
"I thought you would be in court for that," she added as she looked outside the window.
"Busy," I replied flatly.
We stayed in some type of silence before I couldn't resist the urge to speak.
"You shouldn't sleep with Russell," I warned her.
I shouldn't care, but I do.
The girl was my best friend for eleven years.
She turned around and smiled. "Why do you care? Afraid of seeing me get hurt again?"
I rolled my eyes before looking back at my laptop screen.
"Relax," she said as she turned to face the glass wall again. "It's not like I'm going to marry the guy or anything."
"I just like getting information out of him," she said and I didn't bother to look up at her.
"Oh, shit," she suddenly said after a minute of silence.
I ignored her, too invested in my work.
"Nae, it's Nate," she said and my body instantly froze.
Nate?
In Kane & Whitman?
Willingly?
Bullshit.
I glanced up and there he was.
He was standing in the open space looking around and I could tell something was wrong.
Not because he was here at my office of all places, but he just looked...off.
His tie was loosened and his eyes looked dull and unfocused.
I immediately got up, and rushed to him.
"Hey, is everything okay?" I asked as I took his hand and tried to make him focus on me.
He looked down before sniffing.
"I know you're probably busy right now, but can I talk to you?" He asked softly.
"Yeah, of course," I quickly answered. "What's wrong?"
His grip tightened around my hand and I immediately knew it was bad.
"Wait here," I told him before rushing back to my office.
I quickly packed up my things before grabbing my bag.
"Hey, where are you going?" Kate asked. "You can't just leave whenever you feel like."
"I'm partner now, so I can do whatever the hell I want," I reminded her and she glared at me.
I ignored her antics before rushing back to Nate and pulling him to the elevator.
"Naomi, what are you doing?" He asked. "You can't just take off because of me. Yneed to work. I only wanted to talk for a few minutes."
I haven't seen him so down like this since law school.
"Nonsense," I insisted. "We're going home."
...
I sat at the headboard of the bed silently sipping on the tea I made for us.
It was his favourite kind, but he refused to admit that he liked it.
He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his cup of tea in his hand and his eyes glued to the floor.
He didn't say much since we got home and I didn't push him to.
"My sponsee died," he finally admitted and my breath caught.
"I promised I'd be there for him. I told him to call me if he ever needed help."
He ran his hand through his hair.
"He did. This morning. I turned my phone off for court."
He shook his head as he looked down at the tea.
"It's all my fault," he tortured himself. "I knew I was busy, yet I still took him on."
My heart broke as I watched his shoulders tremble.
"I should've been there," he whispered.
I slid down the bed slowly, wrapping my arms around him from behind.
"It's not your fault," I said softly, but firmly.
"You're allowed to be human, Nate. You're allowed to not be everywhere at once."
"I was the only person he trusted," he said, his voice full of so much guilt.
"And that matters," I whispered. "It still matters."
"Even if the ending was awful, you helped him stay alive longer than he would have on his own."
His hands slowly loosened from around the mug, and he leaned into me.
"I walked right into a bar as soon as I heard the news," he admitted.
"But I didn't drink," he said. "I wanted to, but I didn't."
I know Nate well.
When he gets focused on something, he prioritizes that and only that.
Between work and our marriage, I knew he was struggling.
When he works, it consumes him and nothing else gets his attention.
That's probably why our marriage didn't get the attention it needed from him when we were still new.
Now that he's trying to prioritize us, I can see him pulling away from work and all the other aspects in his life.
So no I wouldn't say Nate is an addict. It's not about the alcohol or drugs.
He has an obsession.
And like everything else that takes hold of him, once he starts... it's almost impossible for him to stop.
I turned toward him fully, tucking my legs under me.
"I'm proud of you," I said.
He gave a faint, bitter smile. "Don't be. I was close."
"Still," I murmured. "You didn't give in. That matters."
He looked at me weirdly like he didn't quite recognize me in that moment.
Not the woman who pulled away.
Not the one who fought him at every turn.
"What?" I asked, half-defensive.
A small smile tugged at his lips.
"You're being... a good wife right now."
I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Don't get used to it."
He laughed softly, that deep, low sound I hadn't heard in what felt like forever.
"I'm serious," he said. "It means more than you think."
I smiled. "Well, I had a good husband by my side, correcting me along the way."
His eyes softened, and for a moment, the weight of everything between us, the grief, anger, and silence, felt a little lighter.
He reached up, brushed his thumb across my jaw, and whispered, "Come here."
I leaned in without hesitation.
The kiss was slow, unrushed, and unforced.
Not a distraction.
Not desperation.
Just him.
Just me.
And maybe, just maybe... a beginning again.