44|Confrontations
"Of course, you would to run away," I angrily said through the phone.
"At least call me back and let me know if it's true or not."
"I trusted you," I ranted. "I trusted you with everything."
"My heart. My body. My silence."
"And you-you made a fool out of me."
"Or maybe you pitied me, I don't even know which one's worse."
I stopped pacing, pressing a hand against my stomach.
"You said you wanted me to heal. You said you loved me."
The last two words broke on the edge of my teeth.
"But if you had to go behind my back and beg for me to be made partner, if that's how little you thought I could do this on my own, then don't you ever say you believed in me."
"I begged you not to do it."
I was crying now, but it didn't soften my voice.
It sharpened it.
I took a deep breath, not wanting to say my next words.
There is no way in hell this could be true, but then I started thinking and thinking and thinking.
I didn't even sleep last night.
I don't know what to believe anymore.
I was scared, pregnant, and feeling so damn vulnerable right now.
"And if you slept with her..." I swallowed hard. "If you slept with her, if that's what all this is really about, then you deserve whatever version of hell you're hiding in right now."
I pulled the phone away for a second, like that might stop the ache behind my ribs, then brought it back slowly.
"You should've just let me divorce you," I whispered. "Because this? This is worse."
The call suddenly ended.
The mailbox belonging to Nathaniel Carter is full and cannot accept new messages at this time. Please try again later.
I stared at the screen like it had personally slapped me.
"Fuck you!" I angrily shouted from the top of my lungs.
There was a sudden knock on the bathroom door before Jackie walked in.
"Naomi, sweetheart, is everything okay?" She asked.
I quickly wiped away my tears before she could see them.
"Yeah-yeah, everything's fine," I forced a smile, but I just wanted to cry.
She smiled before nodding. "Ray is about to finish his speech. Do you know if Nate has reached New Jersey as yet?"
I pressed my lips together, tightening the edges of my fake smile.
"No," I said quietly. "I haven't heard from him."
"Oh." She frowned, glancing at her phone. "Well, I'm sure he'll show up soon."
Of course he will because he's Nate Carter.
The man who has to always swoop in and save people who don't want to be saved.
"Yeah," I said bitterly as we walked out the bathroom. "I'm sure he will."
We walked out into the noise with bright lights, clapping hands, the steady hum of expensive cameras and polished smiles.
Ray stood at the podium, already mid-sentence, his voice booming with that practiced mix of sincerity and charm.
The perfect politician.
I hate it.
Him and Nate are just the same.
Everything is always perfect with them.
I stood near the edge of the crowd, barely blinking as the applause swelled around us.
My stomach turned.
I couldn't stop thinking about Nate.
Yes, I was furious about him, but I was also worried about him.
He didn't come home last night and he hadn't shown up to the campaign as yet.
"So make the right decision and pick Raymond Carter when you go out to vote this Thursday!" Ray proudly ended as the crowd cheered loudly for him.
I forced myself to smile and clap even though I wanted to go home and cry all day.
"Oh, Nate's here," Jackie happily said next to me and my head snapped to the direction of her pointing finger.
And there he was.
His suit was wrinkled, his shirt was half-tucked, and his face pale.
There was a wildness in his eyes, like he was seeing ghosts in the room no one else could.
He didn't look at me.
He didn't even glance in my way.
He walked straight past me and Jackie, his shoulders tight, jaw locked, and eyes zeroed in on one person.
His father.
"Is everything okay with him?" Jackie whispered, clearly startled.
I didn't answer.
Because I could tell everything wasn't okay.
Not even close.
Nate moved through the cheering crowd like it didn't exist, like his mind was somewhere else entirely.
And when he reached the base of the stage, he didn't stop.
He kept walking.
Climbing up.
Ray was still waving to the crowd, his smile wide until he turned and saw his son.
And that smile faltered, just slightly.
I held my breath.
Something was coming.
I could feel it in my chest.
Ray wrapped his arm around Nate with a smile and pulled him backstage.
Jackie and I quickly pushed behind.
"Tell me it's not true," was the first thing I heard come out of Nate's mouth as he cried.
"Tell me I'm lying!" He angrily shouted.
Ray guiltily looked at him in silence.
I hesitantly stepped forward. "What's wrong?"
Ray sighed as he rubbed his forehead. "I think he's starting to remember."
My body stiffened.
Shit.
Nate slowly turned to me in disbelief. "You knew too?"
I could see the hurt plastered all over his face.
I looked down in guilt. "Nate-"
He let out a humorless laugh. "Wow."
I stepped forward. "Your dad said it would be best to make you realize on your own."
"So the second best option was to make me believe my mother was murdered by a man who never even existed?" He snapped, as he stepped back.
"Nate," I said, my eyes filling with tears and my heart breaking. "I was trying to protect you."
His eyes filled with more than tears.
Then they began to fill with fury.
"No," he said as he shook his head. "You were trying to protect him."
He jerked his head to Ray.
"You made me walk around thinking I was crazy!" He yelled. "You made me dedicate my life to seeking justice that wasn't needed in the first place!"
Ray placed his hand on Nate's shoulder.
"If you would just calm down-"
"No!" He angrily shouted.
"There was no Marcus Lane!" He spiraled. "I've been speaking about him for all my life, but he never even existed."
"There was no Marcus Lane!"
"There was no murder!"
"And there was no revenge to get!" He angrily shouted from the top of his lungs.
I held my breath as I watched the tears stream down his face as he looked so defeated.
I took another slow step towards him. "Baby, just calm down and we can talk about it."
He shook his head fast like he was trying to shake the memory out of his skull.
"No, no," he kept repeating over and over as he backed away from me. "You're not going to downplay this like you always do."
"Nate-"
"It was all a lie," he muttered to himself, his eyes wide and tear-filled.
I watched him shatter.
His trust.
His identity.
His foundation.
All gone.
"You're my wife," he said suddenly, looking at me like he didn't recognize me anymore.
"You were supposed to be on my side."
"I am on your side," I whispered, aching to reach him, but afraid one more step would push him off the edge completely.
"No," he said softer with a look of realization settling in.
"You're just another person who didn't trust me to handle the truth."
I stood there silently watching him as guilt attacked me.
Suddenly uncontrolled tears ran down my face as a gut-wrenching ache tore through me, leaving nothing but my silence and a shaking breath.
He looked down for a moment, and when he looked up again, his eyes landed on Ray.
There was no rage in them anymore.
I could see the guilt painted all over Ray's face as Nate silently stared at him.
His expression was unreadable, just like he had mastered over the years.
His eyes rimmed red.
His shoulders squared like he was trying to hold himself together, piece by piece.
He blinked once, slowly, then turned away from the both of us.
As he began to walk away, I began to follow.
"Nate," I called as I rushed behind him. "Nate, just wait!"
He halted before slowly turning towards me.
He inched closer towards me before planting a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Don't follow me and don't try to contact me," he whispered before turning away and leaving.
There was no anger anymore.
Neither was there any drama.
Just silence.
"No," I refused before taking a step forward, but I suddenly felt myself being held back by Ray and Jackie.
"Let me go," I cursed as I tried to get out of their hold.
"Just give him a minute to process everything, kiddo," Ray said as he pulled me into a hug. "He'll find his way back when he's ready."