Chapter 5
‘Hello stranger! Where have you been? I was about to send out the search parties for you?’
Was it really only a week since Tess had last visited? Then she’d been carefree and happy, entirely oblivious to what was about to unfold in her personal life. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
Tess leaned down to kiss her mother Marjorie on the cheek, inhaling a heady scent of vanilla mingled with antiseptic.
Her hair, almost completely white now with a few flashes of grey, had been cut short in a gamine style that accentuated her still pretty features.
Her nails had been newly manicured, painted a fetching coral colour, and she sat perched on a cushion in the winged-chair that was in the bay window of her room at the residential facility.
Tess still felt guilty that her mum had been forced to leave her own place to live in a care home, even though the decision was taken entirely out of her hands when her mum had suffered a series of falls, followed by a stroke, which had resulted in her needing around-the-clock care.
With the best will in the world and despite exploring several possible options, including moving into Hollyhocks Cottage, Tess had been forced to accept that she wouldn’t be able to provide the level of help and support her mother needed.
Charles had been a tower of strength during that period, guiding her with kindness through some difficult decisions, accompanying her on visits to the hospital to see Marjorie, and reassuring Tess when it all got too much, wondering if she was doing the right thing by her mother.
That was only a couple of years ago. Was Charles already leading his double life then?
‘Sorry, Mum. I messaged you, but it’s been a bit of a hectic time. I’m here now, though. So how have you been?’
In truth, Marjorie looked remarkably well.
She had made a good recovery since those dark days when it was uncertain whether she would pull through and although she still struggled to get around, needing the aid of a walker to shuffle along, her speech was back to normal, and she had adjusted to her physical limitations and embraced her new life at the care home.
‘Well, I’m hanging on in there!’ she said with a smile that lit up her face. ‘Although there are plenty of reminders of your own mortality around here,’ she said with a grimace. ‘You know Brian Downey from along the corridor? Well, he popped his clogs last week.’
‘No,’ said Tess, making a suitably stricken expression as she pulled up a chair and sat down beside her mum.
‘Yes. You have to come to expect it here. It’s like a revolving-doors policy. One in, one out!’ she said breezily. ‘Mind you, you can’t dwell on it. That way lies madness. We’ll miss Brian, though. He was a lovely chap.’
Tess admired her mum’s sunny disposition and ability to look on the positive side of almost anything.
Her long illness hadn’t dampened her joie de vivre.
If anything, she had taken a pragmatic approach, much more so than Tess, who had reacted emotionally, hating to see her strong, intelligent and vivacious mother reduced to a shadow of her former self.
‘So tell me all the news? How’s that granddaughter of mine? She sends lots of photos through of all these gorgeous young people, it’s hard to keep up.’
‘She’s great, having the best time, making lots of memories.
She seems to work for a couple of weeks, earns some money, and then goes off on her next adventure.
There’s a great supportive community of backpackers out there, she tells me.
It’s the trip of a lifetime, something she’ll remember forever.
Although, honestly, I’ll be pleased when she’s back home again. ’
‘Ah, well, you’ve always been one of life’s worriers.’
‘It’s hard not to when she’s on the opposite side of the world.
At least when she was at uni, she could hop on a train home again, if she needed a break.
Still, thank goodness for video calls. Seeing her smiling face and hearing her voice always makes me feel better.
I’m not sure where she gets her adventurous streak from. It’s certainly not her mother!’
‘No, you’ve always been a bit of a homebird, haven’t you?’
It was true, Tess was never happier than when pottering about at Hollyhocks, gardening, baking, crocheting, and helping out at village charity events, doing the flowers for the church, being a good wife and mother.
She inhaled a sigh. Was that why Charles had tired of her?
Because she’d become dull and boring, and no longer stimulated him in the way she once had?
‘Not that there’s anything wrong with that,’ Marjorie trilled, as if reading Tess’s thoughts.
‘We can’t all be the same, but you know, I think Hannah must take after me.
’ She gave a wide, beaming smile. ‘I was a great traveller in my younger days, as you well know. Your father and I always loved to head abroad whenever we could; I’ve still got the albums here, full of photos from sunnier climes. Such happy times.’
Marjorie had a wealth of wonderful memories from her time with Malcolm, they’d lived a full and exciting life together, right up until the end when Malcolm was cruelly taken by an aggressive form of cancer about ten years ago now.
Her parents’ marriage had been the blueprint for her own, but Tess shuddered to think what her father might have said about Charles’s recent actions.
She leaned across to the windowsill and picked up the silver framed photo showing a picture of Malcolm and Marjorie, dressed up to the nines, caught in hold as they danced at a party many moons ago.
Emotion caught in her throat as she glanced across at Marjorie, who smiled wistfully, the pair of them lost in their own memories.
Her mother and father had always cut a glamorous pair as they took up his various postings with the RAF, both in the UK and abroad.
It had meant that Tess and her brother Hugh had moved around a lot when they were growing up, usually every couple of years, leaving behind friends and memories, and then having to make new ones.
Tess suspected it played a big part in her desire now for a secure and settled existence in Lower Leaping.
‘But then again, Charles is the intrepid type too, isn’t he?’ Marjorie said now, breaking into Tess’s thoughts.
She nodded. In the early days of their relationship, Tess had been keen to keep up with Charles in his outdoor activities, joining him on cycle rides, weekend hikes, and skiing holidays abroad, but at some point over the years, she couldn’t remember exactly when, she’d started staying at home during those trips, while Charles went off with his friends on those occasions, leaving Tess to relish the downtime at home, when she could do as she pleased.
They had their annual holidays together in the sun, but now she had to wonder if she had taken more interest in his hobbies, been a more active partner in his pursuits, then the gap between them, which she had never even realised existed until now, may never have widened.
‘Well, are you going to tell me what’s troubling you, or am I going to have to prise every word out of you?’
Tess lifted her gaze from where it had drifted out of the window to meet Marjorie’s.
‘Remember, I know you better than anyone. You did exactly the same thing when you were a small girl. Disappeared inside yourself when something was bothering you.’
‘Ah…’ Tess might have known she wouldn’t be able to keep anything from her mum and it was probably the reason she had put off visiting for as long as possible.
Ordinarily, she would try to get in to see her every other day, so it was only natural that Marjorie had sensed something was amiss. There was no easy way of saying it.
‘It’s Charles, he’s left me,’ she said starkly.
‘Good grief! What on earth has happened?’ Marjorie brought her hands together as if in prayer.
‘I don’t know. It came out of the blue. Charles simply announced that he’d met someone else and was leaving to start a new life with her.’ She shook her head, the truth of the words startling her all over again.
‘What a bloody idiot! Not Charles, I would never have thought it of him. Is he having his midlife crisis? I don’t doubt he’ll be back with his tail between his legs when he realises his mistake, just you wait and see.’
‘I’m not sure that he will,’ said Tess. ‘Apparently, he’s in love.
’ She widened her eyes and shook her head.
However many times she announced it, she still couldn’t believe that it was true.
‘Besides, I’m not sure I would want him back now.
He’s destroyed everything that we had together. I can’t see a way back from that.’
‘Well, darling, I’m absolutely shocked, and so terribly sad for you. After everything you’ve done for that man. Should I ring him? Tell him exactly what I think about his behaviour.’
‘No, really, Mum. There’s no need for that. He knows the devastation he’s caused. I told him he had to let Hannah know what was happening and I had her on the phone in tears the next day threatening to jump on the next plane home!’
‘Honestly, what was he thinking? I hope you managed to persuade her otherwise?’
‘Yes, but only after a great deal of reassurance from me. She’s so cross with her dad.
I’m not sure that she ever wants to talk to him again.
I’m only grateful that she’s met a guy she really likes out there and they’re travelling together.
Nothing like a blue-eyed, blond, strapping, Irish guy to provide the perfect distraction.
I’ve told her to make the most of the time they have together.
She’s worried about me, of course, but I don’t want Charles’s action impacting on what should be the trip of a lifetime for her. ’
‘Well, we’ll all be worried about you, darling,’ Marjorie said, grabbing hold of her daughter’s hand and rubbing it fiercely.
‘But I know you’ll be absolutely fine. Cry your tears.
Rant and rave against Charles, throw his dirty laundry out, but then get on with your life.
You’re made of stern stuff. You’ve always been content to follow in Charles’s shadow, but you know what they say, behind every successful man there is a strong woman, and that definitely applies to you, dear Tess.
Charles wouldn’t have been able to build his career if you hadn’t been propping up the home and the family in the background.
Don’t underestimate your role in that marriage and everything you’ve contributed. ’
Tess shrugged. ‘I’m not sure who I am without Charles at my side. How to be on my own. My whole purpose for the last thirty years has been to look after my husband. I thought I did a pretty good job, but look where it’s got me. God, how pathetic does that make me sound?’
‘Not pathetic at all,’ said Marjorie, bristling with indignation on her daughter’s behalf. ‘You’ve been committed, loyal and faithful. A few traits that Charles could do with learning from you. This is a big blow, but you’ll get through this, stronger, happier, your own person.’
Tess nodded, so wanting to believe her mother but not sharing her confidence.
She’d been happy as she was and now she would be expected to turn her whole life round.
Her happiness had always been inextricably linked to Charles so how would she ever survive without him?
Now, in her fifties, she was expected to reinvent herself.
Wasn’t that what they talked about in the glossy women’s magazines?
A new hairdo, a fresh wardrobe, a second career or even a first in her case.
The very idea made her shudder, when all she’d wanted was to sashay into her autumn years, leaving behind the worries and responsibilities that came with being a parent and running a busy household, looking forward to a more carefree future.
Through no fault of her own, her future suddenly looked very different indeed.