Chapter 15
‘Are you okay?’ Rob asked, once they’d heard the roar of Charles’s Jaguar disappear down the lane.
‘Not really,’ she said, making fists with her hands and banging them against the sky. ‘My husband is insufferable and I would never have wanted to inflict him upon you. Sorry about that.’
‘It’s fine. I’ve suffered much worse abuse over the last few months,’ he said with a wry smile. ‘Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need a hug?’
His offer felt heartfelt and welcome too. She nodded, not needing to think twice about it, and he wrapped her in an embrace, her eyes closing momentarily. Sensing that it felt dangerously comfortable and reassuring, she pulled away and uttered her thanks.
‘I’m guessing he didn’t know I was staying here then?’
‘No,’ said Tess defensively. ‘He relinquished all rights to know what I was doing when he walked out the door. He’s…
’ She stopped herself. What on earth was she doing offloading her frustrations onto Rob?
She’d offered him a place to stay at Hollyhocks Cottage, a chance to get himself sorted before he moved on with the next phase in his life.
The last thing he needed was to be weighed down by Tess’s marital problems. Not when he had enough problems of his own.
‘I get it,’ he said, his eyes latching onto hers.
‘And I can understand where Charles is coming from. Poor guy. It must have been a shock coming face to face with some randomer who’s moved into his office.
’ Rob’s lifted eyebrow and upturned quirk of his mouth lifted Tess’s spirits and she burst into laughter.
‘Ha! Serves him right. Although the days of it being an office are long gone. I think it’s much better suited as an annexe. I hope you’re finding it okay out here?’
‘Honestly, it’s great, and I can’t thank you enough for letting me stay. It’s got everything I need and it’s such a peaceful and quiet spot. It’s almost like being on holiday in a forest lodge somewhere. You need to be careful, though; you might never be able to get rid of me.’
Tess’s gaze caught on his and she returned his smile.
‘Don’t look so worried,’ he quickly added. ‘I wouldn’t do that to you. In fact, I’m speaking to a couple of contacts next week about possible jobs, so I’m hoping I might be able to make some plans soon.’
‘Great, although there’s no hurry as far as I’m concerned. Take as long as you need.’
‘Look, I’ve been thinking. I should earn my keep while I’m here so if you’d like me to clean the gutters or mow the lawn and dig over those flower beds then I’d be more than happy to help. I could get started this afternoon.’
‘You don’t need to do that.’
‘I know, but I’d like to. My way of paying you back for your hospitality.’
‘Well thank you, if you insist, that would be really helpful.’
Tess had always managed to keep on top of the maintenance of the garden.
The lawn area was relatively small as most of the space had been given over to raised beds, vegetable plots and a wildflower meadow, with the rest of the space laid with gravel and bark decorated with pots of flowers and shrubs.
Admittedly, over the last couple of weeks, she had done the mowing less frequently and had even thought about getting in someone to help out over the summer months when everything grew alarmingly, so Rob’s offer was extremely welcome.
‘Do you fancy a cuppa or a cold drink before you get started?’
‘A cup of tea would be great, thanks. White, no sugar,’ he confirmed.
Tess popped back into the kitchen to make the drinks, grateful to have something to occupy her mind.
She was still reeling from her run-in with Charles, turning over the words he used.
My house . A slip of the tongue perhaps, but it couldn’t disguise the way he truly felt about Hollyhocks Cottage and the way he’d insisted he needed to know what was going on.
She resented the idea that she needed to defer to him as she had always done throughout their marriage, that he retained a level of control over her even when he was allowed to do exactly as he pleased.
Knowing her husband as she did, she couldn’t imagine that he would change any time soon.
Maybe she needed to be the one to bring about the change.
She might not have had any say in Charles’s recent decisions which had impacted hugely on her life, but from now on, she would take control of her future and if the only way of doing that was to make her separation from Charles a permanent fixture then she was more than prepared to do it.
She took the mugs and rejoined Rob in the garden.
Was she mad to have invited this relative stranger into her home?
Admittedly, on the first night that he’d arrived, she’d had a moment of panic when she’d realised she hadn’t told a soul about her new lodger, a reckless thing to do, she considered as she’d peered out into the garden into the dark of the night, seeing the annexe illuminated behind the paned double doors.
She hadn’t wanted to deal with the inevitable questions, being interrogated about the wiseness of her act of kindness, even from her closest friends and family.
She would tell them in her own good time.
So she’d double-checked the doors, making sure they were locked, chiding herself for her paranoia, but still feeling relieved on waking up the next morning and realising that nothing bad had happened.
As she’d been making her tea, she’d spotted Rob heading out of the gates and walking down the lane and she’d relaxed, realising she’d been right in trusting her instincts.
It was a routine that he’d followed every day since, leaving the cottage early every morning, his distinctive broad frame striding off into the distance, not returning until several hours later, and she took comfort from his quiet comings and goings.
‘Great, thanks,’ he said now as she handed him a mug of tea and they sat together on the bench in the herb garden. She felt compelled to ask him about his daily routine.
‘I’ve noticed that you’re an early riser. Do you go somewhere in particular?’
He turned his head to observe her and she noticed the warm, bluey-grey tone to his eyes.
‘I like to walk. I head out into the countryside and go wherever the mood takes me, mainly across to the woods. There’s acres and acres of trails that you can follow and it’s easy to lose yourself in the scenery.
I love being alone amongst the trees – if that doesn’t sound too weird,’ he said, flashing her a sideward glance and she gave a slight shake of head in understanding.
‘Being outside, alone with my thoughts, gives me the chance to get my head straight. It’s the cheapest kind of therapy. ’ He grinned.
‘I get that completely. I don’t walk as far as you, but I know that if I’m having a bad day or feeling a bit low then getting outside with Barney always lifts my spirits. To be honest with you, I’m not sure what I would have done without that daft dog these last few months.’
As if knowing he was being spoken about, Barney got up from where he’d been stretched out on the grass and came along to join them, planting himself against Tess’s legs.
His brown, black and white markings, soft ears and long, white socks made him a very handsome boy and Tess couldn’t help smiling as she ruffled his fur.
‘He gives me a reason to get up and out in the mornings and brings a structure to the day which is reassuring. He’s also great company and makes me laugh with his madcap antics. ’
‘We had a dog at home. A black, flat-coated retriever called Mac. He was my best buddy and like you, I used to walk him daily so I miss him a lot.’ He fell silent for a moment.
‘Don’t get me wrong, I miss the kids too, of course,’ he added, smiling.
‘But I know I won’t lose them from my life. The dog, well, it’s different.’
‘That’s tough,’ Tess said, recognising the parallels between her own situation and Rob’s, plus the differences too. She didn’t really know what to say. Everything sounded trite and clichéd in her head. ‘How are your children? How are they dealing with the situation?’
‘It’s hard to tell,’ he said, cupping his chin between his thumb and forefinger.
‘They seem okay. I’ve tried to explain to them why I acted in the way that I did, that I realise now that it wasn’t the best way of handling the situation.
How if you do something wrong then there are consequences to pay.
They’re teenagers, I like to think they understand that their dad is human, that he makes mistakes like everyone else, but I don’t know if they just think their dad is a bit of a tosser.
’ His mouth twisted in a smile. ‘They’re still talking to me, which is a bonus, I guess. ’
Tess liked Rob’s self-deprecating manner, the way he took responsibility for what he’d done. She supposed all those nights living beneath the stars had given him plenty of thinking time.
‘It’s true. We all make mistakes and look back on things we’ve done and wish we’d behaved differently, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it isn’t always easy to do the right thing. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.’
‘That’s true,’ he said. ‘Although as much as I regret all the hassle it caused, I don’t actually regret what I did to Jack’s car.’
Tess shot him a look of surprise.
‘You don’t? Not after everything you’ve been through?’
‘No, he deserved it. It was worth it to see that smug look wiped off his face.’ He gave a nonchalant shrug.
‘Also, in a way, it gave me a sense of closure on the relationship. I was angry, and felt totally out of control, and hitting out at what was clearly his most prized possession, something he valued even more than my wife Jennifer, well, it gave me back a small bit of control. Does that make sense?’
‘I suppose, although I think you paid a heavy price for that small moment of triumph.’