Chapter 15 #2
‘I did, but… it’s done now. It’s in the past and I’m ready to move on with my life.’
‘I can certainly relate to that. When Charles left, I was in a complete state of shock and denial. I hadn’t seen it coming and one of the worst things I felt was a sense of powerlessness.
I was so angry, but helpless to do anything about it.
I couldn’t change things, even if I’d wanted to.
Charles’s mind was made up. Part of the process, I suppose, is accepting what’s happened and taking back control of your own life and carving out a new future, even if it’s one you never really wanted. ’
‘Well, I hope you find the future you’re looking for.
You deserve it. You’re a kind and lovely lady.
’ He turned the intensity of her gaze on her, his warmly expressive eyes lingering a moment, which caused a chill to travel down her limbs.
She rubbed at her arms. ‘It’s not everyone who would take in a dodgy reprobate and give him a chance. ’
His smile lit up his dark features and she couldn’t help but smile in return.
‘You make it sound as though you’re a hardened criminal with a whole string of misdemeanours behind you.’
‘Well, if I can’t trade on my small moment of notoriety then what’s the point? I’ve got to take something away from that experience. A bit of street cred, maybe.’
‘Seriously though, do you think that experience changed you? Did you learn anything from it?’
‘Oh definitely. I learned it’s probably not a good idea to give into your base instincts, however much you’re provoked.
It’s given me time to look at my life and work out what’s important.
Looking back, I realise that it wasn’t my business or the successes of my career that had given me the most satisfaction over the years, but my family and my children.
I wished I’d spent more time at home with the kids, time that I can’t get back now, instead of working all hours on the pretence that I was doing it for the family when really it was more of an ego thing.
Admittedly, Jack and I built up the business from nothing, the pair of us working from a small office above a shop, into one of the leading design agencies in the area, employing over fifteen staff.
We’d moved into bigger offices and rode high on our success, had some great team days, Christmas parties and enjoyed the fruits of our success, but at what cost?
Maybe if I’d put as much time and effort into my marriage then Jennifer wouldn’t have felt the need to look elsewhere. ’
‘You don’t know that. It’s always tempting to look back and wonder how things might have panned out if you’d done things differently, but you can never be certain that anything would have changed.
I’m guilty of that myself, wondering if I hadn’t taken Charles for granted, if I hadn’t slid into middle age wearing a variation of the same outfit every day, comfy slacks and a blouse, if I’d been more interested or interesting, then Charles would never have strayed, but I quickly realised you can’t constantly torment yourself with those kind of thoughts. ’
‘Nope. If it’s any consolation, from where I’m standing, you’re great as you are, just lovely. Don’t put yourself down.’
‘Thanks, Rob.’ A smile spread involuntarily across her lips. It had been a long time since anyone had complimented her in that way. Did Rob really see her like that or was he just being kind? She certainly appreciated his candour. ‘What are we like, the pair of us? Moaning about our exes.’
‘I know, but it’s cathartic to talk about it, don’t you think? Especially to someone who never knew you as part of that couple. It’s freeing and therapeutic.’
‘You’re right. I do appreciate that.’ All her friends and family had their own perspectives on Charles and Tess’s marriage, what he had done and how she should react, so it was refreshing to chat with Rob, who came at it from a different angle.
Like her, he was the injured party, even if they had both reacted to the break-up of their respective marriages in very different ways.
She turned to look at his strong profile, grateful for his presence at her side, as they sat surveying the garden scene, comfortable in each other’s company.
‘Thanks for the tea,’ he said, jumping up from the bench. ‘I’ll make a start on these lawns.’
She watched him as he strode off in the direction of the shed at the far end of the garden.
Dressed all in black, in jeans and a short-sleeved t-shirt, she reckoned he was about six foot two tall, his strong, athletic build making him seem more youthful than his forty-nine years.
He might be a good five years younger than her, but she’d sensed a connection with him from the moment they first met, even before she’d got to know his backstory.
Perhaps it was because she’d been so vulnerable in that moment and Rob’s appearance had taken her mind off Charles and Melody, who had been acting like love’s young dream.
Who knew the reason why, but it had been instinctive and she was glad that Rob had come into her life, and that she was able to help him out through a difficult period.
Now, she brought her attention back to the moment, smiling as Barney stuck close to Rob’s side, eager to be involved in the action.
Every now and then, Rob would bend over to satisfy the dog’s demands for attention, the pair of them having made their own bond already.
She could just imagine what Gina and Suzy might say when they eventually found out about Tess’s house guest; they would chastise her for not telling them sooner, then they would caution her for allowing someone she barely knew into her safe space, and then they might swoon over him when they finally got to meet him, for he was undeniably a handsome man.
There was no doubting that, as her gaze ran over his frame as he wielded the lawn mower with authority.
As for Charles, she’d already seen his reaction to her house visitor, and that was with him only knowing half the story.
Hannah and Marjorie would only worry, thinking that Tess’s head had been turned by a handsome younger man, when in reality, nothing was further from the truth.
Rob and Tess had formed a friendship of sorts, born out of their shared experience, a new friendship that would help them both as they navigated a different path in life.
If the people in her life couldn’t understand her relationship with Rob, then that was their problem.
She looked across at him and gave him a wave as he made short work of restoring the stripes in her lawn, Barney padding along at his side.
Her dog had always been a good judge of character and Barney seemed to adore Rob, so as far as she was concerned, his opinion was the only one that mattered right now.