Chapter Twenty-Six
Grace arranged a meeting with Crush and Annie before the next book club to see if her plans suited them and was thrilled when they seemed just as enthusiastic as she was. Now it was a bright Wednesday in the middle of May and she was standing outside Books En Parade with Rosie, Paz and Jude.
‘I used to duck when I walked past here,’ said Rosie with a giggle.
‘Why?’ asked Paz, assessing the frontage, then turning back to his wife.
‘Because Mum was always sitting at a desk by that wall surrounded by dead people’s furniture.’ Rosie pointed to the desk in front of the yellow wall with the beautiful mural.
‘You mean valuable antiques,’ interjected Grace.
‘And I’d be having a fag with my friends after school—’
‘You told me you never smoked,’ said Jude, his eyes wide.
‘Did you actually believe that?’ said Rosie. ‘Have you met me? Do I seem like the angelic girl I told you I was when you were a kid?’
‘She makes a good point, son.’ Paz turned to Rosie. ‘But you told me the same.’
‘And me.’ Grace’s voice was stern.
Rosie threw her arms up. ‘God, how to ruin a good reminisce. Okay, it was a very short phase. I never really liked it and when Martie Sullivan in Year 13 told me he didn’t like fag breath, I stopped because I liked snogging more than cigarettes.
’ She laughed as Jude made a gagging noise.
‘Anyway, I have very fond memories of this place, hiding from Mum when I was with my friends. That was the point of the story.’
Grace was just processing her relief Rosie hadn’t become addicted to nicotine when Lee arrived, sandy hair slicked down on each side of his ruler-straight parting. ‘Hello Lee.’ She introduced him to her family. ‘We were talking about when I used to work in the antiques shop that used to be here.’
He raised his eyes to the green sign above the door. ‘Yes, it closed down over a decade ago now.’
‘Yes, I was the—’
‘A lot of those kinds of shops closed down. Antiques can be a volatile market. Fashions come and go, you see, although if you invest in the right piece, it can make a pretty penny in the long term. I’d advise going to an auction house if you’re in the market for anything valuable.
That’s where you’ll find the best deals.
’ He gave an obsequious smile and pushed open the door, leaving Grace and her family dumbstruck on the pavement outside.
‘Have you considered going to an auction house?’ said Paz, amusement playing in his dark eyes.
‘I hadn’t, but following Lee’s expert advice, I might give it a go.’ The four of them laughed and entered the bookshop.
‘It’s so pretty in here in the evening,’ said Rosie, taking in the soft lighting and the comfortable seats at the back of the store. ‘It reminds me of Friends. I want to be Rachel.’ She flicked her hair over her shoulder.
‘No chance. You’re Phoebe,’ said Jude. ‘No question.’
Rosie turned to look at him. ‘You’re right. Now I come to think of it, Phoebe definitely has ADHD, doesn’t she?’
‘Hundred per cent,’ said Jude. ‘I reckon most of the funniest people do.’ He grinned.
Grace listened to their easy banter, how lightly they spoke about it, and loved them even more.
They weren’t taking on any shame, and that’s how it should be.
She was determined to follow their lead.
She also noted that any tension she used to feel coming into book club had completely left her.
She didn’t know whether it was because she had her family by her side today, or because her mindset changed after reading Frank’s journal.
Either way, it was comfortable. More than that, it felt safe.
‘You’re a sight for sore eyes.’ Annie came in behind them. She rubbed the top of Jude’s uninjured arm and smiled. ‘Your grandma told me about your shoulder. I bet that smarted.’ It was the first time Grace had seen Annie standing beside someone taller than her.
‘It’s not too bad now thanks, Annie,’ Jude’s voice was quiet. ‘Good to see you.’ He turned to his parents. ‘I’m not sure you’ve met my mum and dad. This is my mum Rosie and my dad Paz.’
‘So lovely to meet you.’ Annie moved in closer. ‘I think Frank would be very proud of you all, especially with all Grace’s new plans.’
They took seats and waited for the stragglers to arrive. Once the introductions were over, Crush cleared her throat theatrically. ‘Hope no one minds if we start off with a bit of a discussion about the future of the book club.’
Deep lines ridged Harry’s forehead. ‘Is its future in question? I know there aren’t many of us, but I’d be very sorry to lose it.
Very sorry indeed.’ He leaned forwards and rubbed Earnest’s head in a way that made Grace think he was trying to hide strong emotions.
The cat raised its snout, looking equally as concerned as his master.
‘Aye, it’s part of my routine now,’ said Tracy. ‘An important part.’
Crush held up her hand. ‘Don’t you worry, it’s the opposite of that. We want to expand.’
‘Oh, right.’ Harry visibly relaxed.
Crush turned to Grace. ‘Want to explain?’
Grace nodded. The back of her neck grew hot, but she sat up straight and focused on each one of the group in turn. ‘As you know, Frank started this book club, along with Crush, around ten years ago.’
‘Legend,’ said Tracy. The others nodded.
‘And then he changed the format, so it became a silent book club, and recently I found out exactly why.’ Sweat gathered on her top lip. ‘Frank kept reading journals—’
‘I do that,’ said Lee. ‘They’re very useful for recording titles, authors and thoughts about the book.
I can bring one of mine in, if anyone wants to see an example.
’ He lifted one arm of his glasses and adjusted them on his nose in a way that reminded Grace of the comedian Eric Morecambe.
She wasn’t sure he’d appreciate the comparison.
‘You’re all right,’ said Tracy. ‘I think we get it.’
‘Thank you, Lee.’ Grace wiped her lip. ‘In one of Frank’s journals he wrote that he thought he had ADHD.
’ The group stilled and Grace felt all the eyes on her.
She wished she could read their minds. Did any of them judge him because of this new information?
She dismissed the thought. That was her old attitude seeping back in.
They wouldn’t judge him because there was nothing wrong with having ADHD.
Also, these were his friends; they wouldn’t care if he had two heads.
‘He didn’t feel he needed to get a diagnosis because he’d found strategies over the years to make life easier, and one of those strategies was to read silently, in your company.
As you know, he was a sociable man.’ There were nods around the room.
‘But he suffered from stress and was easily overwhelmed. His social battery would run down, and he knew many other people felt the same.’
‘I do,’ said Jasmine. ‘I’m not sure if I’d have gone to a normal book club, I would have found it too intimidating.’
‘And I don’t have time to read at home, anymore,’ said Tracy, rubbing her hand over her hair. ‘Since I took on my new job. The hours are a killer. If I didn’t come here, I wouldn’t pick up a book from one month to the next.’
‘She’s global head of talent,’ Annie said to Grace with the air of a proud mother. ‘For Burberry.’
‘Goodness,’ said Grace. ‘Is it wrong to say I thought you were a personal trainer?’
Tracy laughed. ‘Not at all. It’s quite flattering. I have to dress sharp all day. I run to deal with the stress and prefer to wear gym kit. My girlfriend’s the same.’
‘And what does she do?’ asked Paz.
‘Criminal barrister.’
‘Could we have a quick chat after—’
‘Paz,’ said Rosie, ‘Mum was in the middle of something.’
Paz pulled his lips back in an apology. ‘Yeah, sorry. Go on Grace.’ He mouthed, ‘Speak later, yeah?’ at Tracy, who smiled and nodded.
‘Frank thought a silent book club would be more inclusive. He often said how lucky we were to have each other and family who live locally.’ She viewed her small family, here to support her, and felt a flush of gratitude.
‘He knew that many people weren’t as fortunate as us, they might live alone, or have lost someone close, and after talking to Crush and Annie, I know that he viewed book club as somewhere safe for anyone to come along and meet other readers.
If we can, I’d like to reach out to more people and let them know we’re here.
I’m also aware that people with ADHD can sometimes struggle with reading—’
‘I did,’ said Jude. ‘It was my grandpa who first suggested I might have ADHD, and that was partly because I wasn’t a fluent reader for years. I couldn’t remember the pattern of the letters. They didn’t move from my working memory into my long-term memory.’
Rosie leaned forwards. ‘He got a first in his degree, by the way.’
Jude laughed and shook his head. ‘You’re such a mum.’
‘I’m just saying.’ She held her palms up. ‘Having ADHD doesn’t mean you’re thick.’
‘Erm, thanks, I think,’ said Jude.
‘It is classed as a learning disability, though,’ Grace said, seriously.
She’d been reading up on the condition more since she read Frank’s journal and been astonished at how little she’d understood before.
‘And it’s important to recognize people with ADHD sometimes learn differently to others.
The poor working memory and slow processing element is a huge disadvantage when you have to learn things like quotes for exams.’
‘It’s worth the effort, though,’ said Lee. ‘I still remember all the quotes I learned in my GCSEs and A levels. I think it’s good exercise for the brain.’
‘Only if your brain works that way.’ Grace tried to keep her voice level.
‘You clearly have a brain that’s good at collecting facts.
’ She didn’t add, and boring everyone to death with them.
‘Which is fine, but it’s what you do with what you learn that matters.
Skills are far more important than facts. ’
‘So true,’ said Tracy. ‘The psychometric tests I use assess cognitive ability, skills and personality traits, not whether you can quote King Lear.’ She raised a finger.
‘And outfits like the intelligence service actively recruit neurodivergent people because they don’t want linear thinking.
Take Alan Turing.’ She nodded to emphasize her point.
‘GCHQ put out an appeal for neurodivergent people to take on cybersecurity jobs a couple of years ago. No word of a lie.’
Lee tucked his chin into his chest but didn’t try to argue. Grace wondered why he always felt the need to be informing people of things. It wasn’t doing him any favours.
‘Good to know,’ said Jude. ‘If I ever pack in being a social media content creator, I know where to apply.’
‘That’s a job, creating social media content?
’ said Harry. ‘Well I never. Youth these days have so many more options than we did. My choice was going into the army or … No. That was it. Sandhurst or be damned.’ He looked at the sympathetic faces around the group.
‘Oh, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t have changed a thing’ – he dropped his eyes – ‘although I imagine being an army wife was somewhat isolating for Majorie. Possibly better for the partners of the rank and file, but there are fewer people available to socialize with when you’re married to a Brigadier and above.
’ He smiled, but it appeared forced to Grace.
‘Still, it’s much better for today’s young people.
Had we been blessed with children, I would have wanted them to have a myriad of opportunities.
’ He looked from Crush to Grace. ‘Sorry, I’m digressing, you said something about expanding book club? ’
Grace wondered if Harry was lonely too. Maybe that was why book club meant so much to him.
‘Yes. Crush, Annie and I put our heads together and came up with some ideas about how we might be able to open up this wonderful experience to everyone. More readers, really. Since I’ve been coming along, I’ve seen how stories can bring people together.
So, the question is, how do we reach people who might perhaps be lonely, grieving or isolated and let them know there’s a safe place where they can either just sit and read, share books or socialize if they want to, in a low-pressure environment? ’
‘But how would we accommodate a lot more members?’ said Tracy, fiddling with one of her earrings. ‘We only have so many chairs.’
‘That part’s easy. We can add more sessions. I’m happy to host one or two during the day,’ said Crush. ‘I don’t know why I didn’t think about it before. It’s not like I’m overrun with customers all day every day. Even if people are browsing, it’s not so disruptive when you’re lost in a book.’
‘And we’re going to approach Beckenham Bookshop to see if Kelly would like to hold silent meetings over that way as well as the regular reading groups and the poetry group they already have, and then we could ask other independent bookshops to get involved.’
‘What about online?’ said Jasmine. ‘My friend Amber has just had a baby and she was saying how hard it is to get out of the house. She said she’s worried her brain’s turning to mush.
Maybe, if you held one online, new mums would be able to feel like they were part of something and get a bit of intellectual stimulation? ’
‘I hadn’t thought of that,’ said Grace. No one had really mentioned Frank’s ADHD.
And why would they? It didn’t change who he was or how they felt about him.
Her skin tingled with the potential of what they’d set in motion tonight.
She glanced at the faces around the room and saw her excitement matched in theirs.
She reached into her bag and took out the photograph of Frank she’d brought with her, in a frame designed to look like piles of brightly coloured books.
‘I hope you don’t mind, but I thought this might be a nice reminder of why we are doing what we are. ’
There was a chorus of ‘Ah’s as the picture was passed from one member of the group to the next. ‘Can we put this up at all our meetings?’ said Annie. ‘It would be nice to feel like he was still with us.’
‘That’s a lovely idea. Why don’t you keep hold of it and bring it along?’ Grace could have been imagining it, but she was sure that when she looked at the photograph, Frank’s eyes had an extra sparkle as he returned her gaze.