Chapter 13
KAT
Kat’s favorite part of her old job and her new one had always been video editing.
There was something so satisfying and creative about taking a series of random clips and arranging them into a clear story.
She’d decided to put the clips of the calves together into a story with a rescue angle, and the lambs into a story with the theme of getting them ready for children to visit them at the petting zoo.
She was also doing a renovation-themed video—a before and after of each individual guest cabin.
Picking the music for those was going to be fun.
Her mind was whirring, her thoughts going a mile a minute.
All the time she spent with Cole only gave her more energy.
By the way he spoke and acted, she’d thought he might be the type of guy to run as soon as things got serious between them.
But they’d spent several nights together now, and he had come about as close as one could come to moving in without actually doing so.
He only rarely went back to the motel, and she was gearing up to ask him if it didn’t make more fiscal sense to just stay here with her.
Truly, things were kind of perfect, and Kat couldn’t have been happier.
Sure, he still had things from his past he didn’t want to talk about.
He was still a bit guarded sometimes. But she chalked that up to him being a more private person than she was.
Maybe he had some childhood traumas he didn’t want to relive, and she didn’t want to push him into sharing anything he didn’t want to share.
She finished up editing the lamb story early in the afternoon, and the clips were so cute, she decided to go ahead and visit the lambs themselves.
That was one of the best parts of running a ranch like this, where it was totally safe to get attached to the animals.
She could visit them any time to relieve her stress or remind her why she was working so hard in the first place.
Cole happened to be there, too, tending to the animals, hauling bags of feed.
At one point, he took his shirt off and used it to wipe the sweat off his brow.
Kat was stunned by how naturally beautiful the man was.
He looked like a professional model pretending to be a ranch hand more than an actual ranch hand.
If she had told her mom he was living out of a cheap motel in town, drove a rusting pick-up truck, and did most of the grunt work on her land, her mom would have told her to stop lying and then asked which agency she got him from.
Inspiration struck, and Kat couldn’t help herself. Just as Cole lifted another bag of feed over his head, Kat lifted her camera and took a picture of him. When she lowered her arms again, Cole turned to see her and asked, “Did you just take a picture of me?”
She gave him a sheepish grin. “You looked so good. I couldn’t help myself.”
He laughed, but there was something off about it.
Kat had heard him laugh so many times—usually at her for something silly she’d done—and this didn’t sound anything like his real laugh.
It was a stiff laugh, like he was trying too hard to sound natural and failing.
When he finally said, “You should delete it,” she knew for sure he wasn’t happy.
“But why?” Uncertain what this was all about, Kat reverted to her usual flirtatious teasing, hoping that might cheer him up.
“I was thinking you could be an even bigger draw than the animals. Come see the sexiest cowboy this side of the Mississippi.” She gestured to indicate a big sign over her head as she spoke.
“You’ll bring in all the single ladies. It’s a whole new demographic. We could even make a calendar.”
She expected him to laugh and tell her she was being ridiculous.
Probably, he would explain to her that single women were not the right target audience for a ranch.
And then she would explain that limiting one’s target audience was a great way to stagnate a business.
Surely, he would say something snarky after that, though she could not predict what.
But none of that happened at all. Instead, he looked at her, eyes wide like a prey animal seeing the predator in the bushes for the first time.
If she didn’t know any better, she would guess he was actually scared. But that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? “Cole?” She took a step toward him. “Are you OK? Is the heat too much? You can take a break whenever you need one, you know.”
He didn’t relax at all. In fact, she could feel him tense even more. “I’ll pay you,” he said.
“What?”
“I’ll pay you to delete it.”
“Cole—”
“I’m not kidding,” he interrupted and took several steps toward her. “I’ll pay you more than you could possibly make off it. And free labor for a year.”
She was actually starting to worry now. “You don’t have to pay me to delete a photo of you. Have you lost it completely?”
“Then delete it, right now. Do it and let me see you do it.”
He was dead serious. She’d never seen him like this before. The strange part about it was she’d started to feel like she was finally getting to know him for real, like he was finally opening up to her, relaxing a little about his past. “OK, OK. I’ll delete it already.”
“And let me see you do it,” he repeated.
Tentatively, she walked over to stand beside him.
Though she wasn’t worried he would ever hurt her, his current demeanor was intimidating for some reason.
She showed the screen to him and hit delete.
It was such a shame, in her opinion. The picture really was a good one, captured in the perfect moment with the perfect lighting.
She was highly unlikely to be able to reproduce it.
But Cole seemed to want it gone. “There,” she said. “It’s deleted. Are you happy now?”
He shook his head. “Swear to me you will never take another photo of me, OK? I do not consent to be in your social media campaign, or your calendar, or anything else you may dream up.”
She was completely blindsided. Even the lambs seemed shocked by this massive change in Cole’s personality. “I won’t ever take a picture of you again,” she said.
“Swear it.”
She knit her brow, beyond confused about why this could possibly matter.
Either way, she went along with it because what else was there to do?
“I swear I will never take a picture of you again.” Then she added.
“That’s going to put a damper on me telling my friends about my hot new boyfriend if I don’t have proof, though. They’ll say I’m lying.”
All at once, he appeared to relax and soften toward her again. He stepped in and pushed her hair behind her ear in a way that sent a shiver down her spine. “Then, I’ll have to go meet them in person, won’t I? Wouldn’t that be better anyway? Pictures can be faked.”
She sighed. Whatever it was he was afraid of had to be very real.
There was no chance he was going to change his mind any time soon, no matter how much she begged.
She didn’t even dare ask him to give her a photo of him that he already had lying around.
As worried as he was, she doubted this was just him being shy or having low self-esteem.
There was far more to it than that, but she didn’t dare ask.
Kat left him to finish her work in the budgeting office.
The longer she thought about his reaction, the more confused she became.
She went online to see if she could find any information on something similar happening to anyone else.
There was definitely a common phobia that involved photographs.
She tried to tell herself that was all it was, but no matter how she thought about it, it just didn’t sit right with her.
For the rest of the day, she turned it over and over in her mind.
Asking her family for advice might cause more problems for her.
If Cole’s fear had something to do with his identity getting out there, then telling her family all about him and his fear of photographs could put him in jeopardy.
At the very least, she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and not expose him until she knew what this was all about.
At the same time, she was feeling more alone than ever and craving some good advice.
What she needed was to ask her questions anonymously, and she knew exactly how to do that.
Late that night, Cole left to spend the night at the hotel.
Kat was more distraught than she normally would have expected.
She found a discussion forum about romantic relationships to seek some advice.
There were plenty of people asking questions about whether or not they should forgive their cheating partners, whether or not a first date went well in everyone else’s opinion, or whether their friends and family having bad opinions of their partners meant anything.
Kat knew she had an odd situation, but she decided to ask about it anyway.
She composed her story and question on a notepad to ensure she got it right.
For at least an hour, she went over it, making certain any and all information that could lead to a possible identification of either her or Cole was removed.
In the end, the post was not a short one. She told as much of her story as she could, gave every piece of information she felt safe giving, and then she asked her question: In your opinion, does this relationship have a good foundation, or is it doomed to fail?
Once her question was posted, she went to the kitchen to make herself a snack and a drink.
She’d realized that she had spent so much time worrying over what had happened that afternoon that she’d forgotten to eat lunch and dinner.
Once she had a sandwich and a light cocktail to help her relax a bit, she went back to her computer to find she already had several answers.
“Wow,” she said, settling in to read. “You guys work fast.” And how many of them were in her time zone, staying up this late, agonizing over their own relationships, just like she was, and somehow feeling confident enough to offer advice on the relationships of others?
After reading several of the answers, a consensus seemed to form among her fellow forum members.
Red flags galore, said one comment.
Girl, get your butt out of there while you still can, said another.
And another said, My mom’s best friend dated a guy like this. He wound up being a dangerous criminal. If you want to know what my advice is, drop him as soon as possible.
More said very similar things, and only one told her to be patient with him because he may be going through something she couldn’t understand.
Kat went to bed feeling worse than she had when she’d posted the question.
She had only just begun to hope that she might have a future with this man.
The fact that he hadn’t run after getting what he wanted from her was a green flag, as far as she was concerned.
He wanted to stay. Didn’t that mean something?
But almost universally, she was being advised by strangers on the internet to drop him.
When she woke up the following morning, she checked her post again, only to find more of the same—people warning her that he had dark secrets, people advising her to run as soon as possible.
The fact that everyone was so anxious to judge him so harshly before getting more than a sliver of information made her deeply uncomfortable.
But what else had she expected? This was the internet.
Jumping to conclusions was what it was best at.
She brushed her teeth and got ready for the day, thinking hard about what she wanted to say when she saw Cole.
Saying nothing to him was not an option.
She’d never been the type to deal with conflict by pretending it never happened.
Maybe that was why she never took to acting when she was a kid.
If she was upset, her mother would pull her aside and tell her to put a new face on until they got home, but Kat never could manage it.
The one part of this that was surprising her more than all the rest was that, after getting all that advice from strangers on the internet, instead of making her question her relationship, it only made her value it more.
Everything they said about Cole was wrong.
It became more and more obvious with each post she read.
He wasn’t the kind of person they were talking about, and that made Kat want to believe in him even more.
When she finally found him in the stables, she walked right up to him without any hesitation at all. “Cole,” she said.
He turned to her and waited, a baffled expression on his face.
She took a deep breath and swallowed her pride. “I’m really sorry for taking your photo without your permission yesterday. I thought about it, and I’ve decided it was the wrong choice. I should have asked, and if you said no, I should have honored your decision.”
He shifted in his place, still looking unsure of what the right response was.
She decided not to wait for him. “I know there’s probably a reason you don’t want your picture taken right now, and I’m guessing it’s something you don’t want to talk about.
I’ve decided to respect that and not even ask.
You’ll tell me if and when you’re ready.
I wanted to assure you I won’t do it again.
I promise. I…” She hesitated and took a deep breath. “I trust you.”
Cole’s reaction was nowhere near what she expected.
Instead of saying a word, he pulled her in and kissed her.
It was the kind of kiss that made her toes curl and her cheeks flush.
After the kiss, he held her in his arms, rocking her in a soothing way.
All she could sense in his reaction was gratitude so pure that the words thank you weren’t nearly enough to express it.
“I don’t deserve you, kitten,” he said into her ear.
“Just promise me I won’t come to regret this one day,” she said. “Promise you aren’t some master manipulator who’s done something unforgivable.”
“You won’t,” he murmured. “I’m not.”
And she could do nothing other than believe him.