Chapter 14
COLE
“Why don’t you move the rest of your stuff here and stop paying for the hotel?” Kat said one day while they were feeding the calves. “Isn’t it kind of a waste of money to keep holding it for yourself?”
Cole smirked at her. “But you pay so well. I don’t have to worry about money at all.”
“Maybe I should give you a pay cut,” she murmured.
“Don’t you dare.”
They finished cleaning up the exterior before moving on to the inside of the barn.
Cole had answered in jest, but only because he didn’t want to admit the truth.
One day, maybe soon, there would come a time when Kat would stop trusting him.
It was just the way things went for him.
As sure as she was now, something would happen to build doubt in her, and she would start to question herself.
Then, she would start to question him, and it would be time for him to go.
The hardest part about all that was that, for the first time in years, Cole didn’t want to go.
He didn’t want to move on. He wanted to stay with her and watch her make her dreams come true.
Her faith and confidence inspired something in him that he hadn’t felt in a long time.
It was hope. Maybe things would get better one day.
Maybe things would change. Maybe he could stick around and make a home somewhere for once, a family even.
But when he started to think this way, he always had to stop himself and tell himself to be realistic.
His situation was very unlikely to be resolved any time soon, and he was powerless to do anything about it.
The choice he made in the past would catch up with him eventually, and subjecting a family to that kind of stress would be selfish and cruel.
No, it was better to deal with this sort of thing on his own.
That had been the plan from the start, and he wasn’t going to change it now.
“Hey, kitten, could you go out and grab me the bigger feed bucket?” Getting back to work was the best thing he could do to diffuse the situation for now. He needed to put a stop to her questions and any in-depth conversation about them.
“Sure,” she said and jogged out of the barn.
Then, he heard a car door slam, and his whole body stiffened at the sound.
Though Tony’s back had been improving lately, and he sometimes stopped by to help out a bit, he didn’t usually come without letting them know he’d be there first. He always called to ask whether they needed anything from the feed store before he headed out of town to the ranch.
As far as Cole knew, Tony hadn’t called today.
The second car door closing confirmed his suspicions.
His worst fears were confirmed when he heard a male voice that wasn’t Tony’s. “Good afternoon, ma’am. I’m Officer Benson, and this is my partner, Officer King.”
“Hello, Ms. Naylor,” said a woman’s voice. That must have been Officer King. “We just wanted to ask you some questions about someone we’ve been looking for. Nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Oh, sure,” Kat said. She didn’t sound the least bit concerned, which was the opposite of how Cole was feeling right now.
He quickly joined one of the horses in its stable and put a finger to his lips when the horse started nickering in excitement.
He ducked down low and out of sight, just in case.
The only thing he could hope for was that they weren’t looking for him or that they wouldn’t think of looking for him in a horse stall.
“There’s a chance he’s armed and dangerous,” Officer Benson was saying, and Cole couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the obvious lie.
He’d never wielded a weapon or hurt anyone in all his time on the run.
“This is the most recent photo we have of him,” the officer said.
So much for the vain hope that they would describe him badly enough for her not to recognize him. “Have you seen him anywhere lately?”
The silence that followed that question was agonizing to Cole.
He crouched in the corner of the stall and tried to predict the future.
Was it him they were looking for? Did they actually bring a picture of him?
Would Kat betray him, and if she did, would she be right to do so?
What would Cole do if he were in her shoes?
He honestly couldn’t have said, and that troubled him.
What felt like an eternity later, Kat finally put him out of his misery. “No, I don’t think I’ve seen him around,” she said, and Cole fell in love with her all over again.
The man who had introduced himself as Officer Benson said, “Well, if you see him, please call us. Don’t engage him or let him know you know who he is. If you keep to yourself, you should be fine.”
“I understand,” Kat said. Then, she asked a question he had not predicted she would ask. “Has this man hurt anyone, officers?”
It was Officer King’s turn to answer, apparently. “Not yet,” she said. “But so far, no one has challenged him. There’s no telling how he’ll act if he’s cornered.”
That made Cole angrier than it probably should have.
They were just doing their jobs. He’d made the choice to put himself in this predicament.
But the idea that anyone would try to convince Kat to be afraid of him when he would only ever fight to protect her made him feel sick to his stomach.
He wanted her to trust him. She’d told him she trusted him now.
And these two total strangers had come around trying to convince her he was dangerous.
He listened to them drive away with a sinking feeling in his chest. Though he should have been elated that this woman had potentially covered for him, all he could muster was a fragile kind of relief.
By the time Kat returned with the larger feed bucket, he had already moved out of his hiding place in the stable and was casually sweeping the floor.
He wanted to ask her whether or not the picture she was shown was of him.
But if it wasn’t, then his asking would reveal that there even was a picture of him with the police, that the police might be looking for him.
Who was he even kidding? This was a small town with a zero percent crime rate or something.
That was Cole’s whole reason for coming here in the first place.
If the police were looking for a dangerous criminal in a small town like this, it would be quite the unbelievable coincidence if it were anyone other than him while he happened to also be in town.
He thought maybe she would bring it up herself, but she never did.
All the same, she avoided speaking to him for the rest of the workday. Deep down, he knew exactly why. It had been him in that photograph, and it had been him the police were warning her about. They’d caught up to him again, quicker this time, and that meant it was time for him to move on.
The thought of leaving gutted him, but he didn’t feel he had a choice.
Not at this point. So, he clenched his teeth, finished his work early, and went back to the house to start packing his things without saying a single word to Kat.
He knew she was going to be furious when she saw him gone with no explanation.
But no explanation was the safest way to leave.
If she knew nothing, she wouldn’t be of use to the police.
She wouldn’t be held responsible for his escape or for keeping him hidden. If only he could make her understand…
A letter. He would trust her with this one last thing.
If he left a letter of explanation, pen and paper, somewhere no one else would go looking for it, he could maybe help her to understand and ease the pain she would inevitably feel.
There would be no digital trail for the police to follow, no evidence left that she ever helped him at all, as long as she found it before they did and destroyed it.
It was a risk, but he thought it was worth it in the end. Otherwise, she might believe he never cared for her, never loved her, and she would doubt every relationship that happened after this one. That wouldn’t be fair to her at all.
Cole was searching the cabin for a piece of paper to write on when Kat finally found him. She’d come inside from a long day of work, and he suddenly didn’t have the nerve to search for paper anymore.
“What are you looking for?” she asked.
“Nothing.” Now the lies would start. That was the way this always went. He would get comfortable, someone would come looking for him, the lies would start, and then he’d have to leave.
She seemed to know he wasn’t being completely honest with her. She sat down at the kitchen table and stared across the cabin at him. He didn’t even know how to stand until she finally put him out of his misery. “So, can you explain to me why the police are going around with a photo of you?”
This was the hardest part of every relationship he’d had over the last several years. They all came to an end. It was the reason he hadn’t even thought about dating anyone until he met Kat. It just wasn’t worth it. But she’d been worth it. He knew that much. Too bad he lost the wager this time.
He crossed the cabin and sat opposite her. “I was wondering whether it was me they were looking for,” he said. His voice sounded about as exhausted and hopeless as he felt.
“What are they saying you did? And did you do it?” she asked.
That was a question he didn’t want to answer, nor did he feel he safely could. If he told her the truth, it could jeopardize everything he had sacrificed for all these years. Cole had never been good at defense, so he always defaulted to offense. “I thought you’d decided to trust me.”
She narrowed her eyes at him and fired back. “Trust is a two-way street. If you can’t trust me enough to tell me the truth, then how am I supposed to trust you?”
“What happened to, ‘You’ll tell me if and when you’re ready’?” He hated to use her own words against her, but what choice did he have? She was taking deliberate aim, and while she had every right to do so, his only options were to defend himself or give up everything he’d spent years fighting for.
“That was when this was about having your picture taken and posted online. I thought you had some kind of portrait phobia or something, not that the police were hunting you down. Now, I think I deserve an answer. I covered for you. I lied to the police for you. I broke the law for you. Don’t I even get to know why? ”
“I didn’t ask you to lie for me.”
“You didn’t have to. It was that or hand you over. Are you saying you would rather I had handed you over?”
He shook his head. “Of course not. I feel terrible that I even put you in this situation. That’s why I’m going back to the hotel for a bit.” Another lie.
“So let me know what I’m dealing with. What kind of person am I harboring? Who am I really helping here?”
Cole dropped his head with a deep sigh. “You’re not harboring anyone.
I won’t be here when they come looking for me.
They won’t even know I was here. Just keep pretending you never met me.
You hired a random guy who eventually left because the position was temporary to begin with.
No pictures were taken of him, so there’s no proof he was me.
Tony’s feeling better, and you can hire a new hand if you decide you need one. ”
“So you’re not going to tell me anything about why they’re looking for you?
” Kat asked. “Was I just a place to hide for you?” There was so much sadness in her expression that Cole wanted to get up from his chair and wrap his arms around her to comfort her.
But he was also the cause of her suffering, so he was probably not the right person for the job.
He had never been the right person for the job, come to think of it.
“I’m sorry,” was all he could think to say.
She shifted in her seat, clearly searching for the right words to use in this situation.
What Cole knew that she didn’t was that there were no right words.
He had no choice, and neither did she. The only way to undo his situation was to make an even bigger sacrifice, which he wasn’t willing to make.
He’d made a promise years ago, and he wasn’t about to break it now.
“Stay tonight,” she finally said. “Stay tonight and sleep on it, and we’ll talk about it in the morning. Can you do that?”
It was a desperate, final plea, and Cole knew what his answer had to be. But he didn’t want to argue about it. He didn’t want their last conversation to be a fight. So he answered, “OK. I can do that.”
Later that night, after Kat had fallen into a deep sleep, Cole got up and packed his clothes, his toiletries, and anything else he happened to have at her cabin.
It was of the utmost importance that he leave nothing behind, no trace that he’d ever been at the ranch.
At least then, whether or not she told the police he had been there would be her own choice.
She could deny it and go back to her normal life.
He sat in his truck longer than he probably should have, not wanting to drive away just yet.
One last look at the place was all he needed, he told himself.
He dug around in his glove compartment and found a receipt, one of those long ones that had a lot of extra advertisements on it.
This would have to do for a note. At the very top he wrote, Burn after reading, and with that, he began to compose his goodbye.
When he was finished, he took the receipt and hid it in plain sight.
As thorough as Kat was when she did her accounting, she was bound to notice the anomaly.
He hoped she would forgive him one day. He hoped she would understand, though he knew it was unlikely.
All he wanted for her was the success she craved.
If only he could have stuck around to see it: the guest cabins, the petting zoo, the gift shop.
Maybe he could at least follow her social media accounts and check out whatever website she put up to watch her grow her business.
Then, the gut punch of a realization hit him.
He didn’t even know what her ranch would be called.