Chapter 22
Twenty-two
“How did you learn to cook like this?” I shove another large bite of the delectable toast into my mouth.
A buttery cinnamon flavor explodes, melting on my tongue.
Although we indulged little in the unit, anytime we had a “special” breakfast beyond the typical toast or dry pancake…
I’ve eaten nothing that has tasted this good.
I’m sitting at the island in the apartment on a high-backed stool while Leo stands across from me.
Leo chuckles, stabbing at the food. “I spent a lot of time on Kitchen duty. Learned pretty quickly how to make plain food taste better.”
“You all are eating well over on Noctor. The Kitchen hated to see me coming. I could manage the basics, but nothing like this. I spent way more time in the Gardens, planting and harvesting.”
“Do you miss it?”
I set my fork down, weighing my response. “I miss my friends. But seeing how we could live? After dealing with the bare minimum? It’s like living in the dark after seeing the color of the world in the light.”
“I know exactly what you mean. Why do they get to thrive? Why are we less deserving? How do they expect us to see all of this and then go back like it had never happened? It doesn’t add up.”
“Do you miss your friends?”
“The environment in my unit wasn’t exactly encouraging of friendships. It’s a hostile atmosphere. Everything felt very surface-level. Relationships had no depth to them, just kind of superficial, you know? I kept to myself mostly and went about my days.”
“Well, that explains your frosty exterior.”
Leo pins me with a look before grabbing my plate and carrying the dishes to the sink. “That’s the thing, sweetheart. You can only care about yourself in these galaxies.” He returns to the island, leaning forward on his forearms.
“Yeah? How well has that worked out for you?”
“Pretty well, I’d say,” he says smugly. Such an ass. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like to have friendships in my life now, though. Caring for someone… It would be nice.”
“And? Are you looking for some friends? Someone besides yourself to care about?”
Could we have a friendship? Stars above, where did that thought come from? I blame the magnetic pull my body experiences any time it’s in close proximity to him.
A sudden knocking disperses the tension, breaking the moment. The effect is immediate. Leo’s body becomes stiff with rigidity. He opens and closes his fist, clenching his hand an additional time. We both know who is at the door.
“You don’t have to talk to him.” Leo’s voice is low and controlled.
“I’ll have to at some point.” Resigned to my fate, I scoot off the stool and walk to the door. I’m no longer freely inviting him in; Orion has lost unrestricted access to my life.
I swing the door fully open, holding the frame in one hand. “Yes?”
“You weren’t at training. I was worried about you.”
This warrants a snort from me. “Now you were worried?”
“Zizi, I—”
I throw my hand out, stopping his speech. “Don’t ‘Zizi’ me.”
Orion shuffles his feet, and I relish his discomfort. “Can I come in? Please? This isn’t a conversation to be held in a hallway.”
“If you must.” I feign indifference, moving to let him through.
Orion freezes as he discovers Leo attentively watching our encounter. “Can we speak alone?”
“No.” Leo and I answer at the same time. I throw him a sideways glare.
Orion’s eyes flicker between the two of us, and an internal battle about his next move is clear as his features morph between frustration and determination. “I’m sorry. I went too far.”
“You think?” I cross my arms and shift my weight onto one foot, refusing to let the uneasiness in the air infiltrate me.
“You need to handle the elements! I… I freaked out. It was too much; I see that now. I need you to maneuver whatever is thrown at you in these games.”
He makes me sound like a pawn, which makes me feel small. I am nobody’s pawn. I control my fate.
Leo tags in on the conversation. “Easy for you to say as you sit on the sidelines watching her risk her life.” He’s cold and emotionless on the surface, but I’m understanding that something darker and far more dangerous lies beneath the surface when he enters these moods.
“I’m ensuring her survival and looking out for her best interests. What are you even doing here?” For a moment, I see the internal inferno rising in Orion.
“Protecting her and her best interest since you’re failing so miserably at it, sponsor.”
Orion’s eyes ignite. “Watch how you fucking talk—”
“Enough!” I screech. Is every male that I encounter in Astralis doomed to be insufferable?
“You know who is looking out for my best interests? Me!” I slap a hand right over my heart.
“I decide what I do or do not do. I decide what’s too much.
I decide who is going to be a part of my life.
And I will decide my future.” I’m panting, my chest protesting at me raising my voice in a long-winded speech.
“You’ve said your piece; now get out. I don’t want to see you until my training resumes. Leo, I think you should go, too.”
Leo pushes off the island and stalks toward me, a wicked grin on his face. He invades my space, my insides melting as I struggle to maintain my composure in his closeness. “Like I told you, you’re going to light up the darkness.”
I manage to hold my chin high and thank him once more for helping me. Orion gradually trails behind, but I can’t bring myself to look at him. “I am not your means to an end. I am a human being, Orion. Do not forget that.”