Chapter 23
Twenty-three
Imissed the entire third week of training, thanks to Pia’s recommendations.
The frustration of missing the second-to-last week, combined with the restlessness of not moving my body the way I’ve grown used to, made me miserable to be around.
Lenny came to see me every day, practicing puzzles with me late into the night.
We work on cryptograms, crosswords, sudoku, riddles, and more.
Celeste stopped by to get me out of the apartment. We strolled leisurely through the city; the distraction was glorious. “Awfully dramatic way to get out of training, if you ask me.” She rolls her eyes but can’t maintain the seriousness, bursting into laughter seconds later.
“Do you need your sponsor to liven things up for you, Cel? I’d be happy to send Orion your way.”
“While I do appreciate that hunk of a man, I’d prefer not to singe my hair off.” She wrinkles her nose, examining the ends of her hair.
“He is pretty, isn’t he?”
“Only you would wind up with the two best-looking men swooning over you, you lucky girl.”
“Yes, look how lucky I am, concussed and slightly burnt.”
“You always know how to look at things on the bright side.” She winks, and I laugh, appreciating her endless optimism.
Leo also stopped by to check on me the night before I was set to resume training.
“Back so soon?” I lean on the island after letting him in.
Leo braces his arms on the opposite side. “I hate to break it to you, but I can’t bring myself to stay away.”
“You had no problem before.”
“Funny, I distinctly remember finding you at the ball.”
“Ah, yes, you were so kind.”
“Never said I was kind, sweetheart. Just that I’m drawn to you.”
I bite my cheek to hide the growing smile. We stare across at each other, delicious tension building between us.
“Are you prepared to deal with Orion?” And a bucket of water has been dumped on that tension.
I rub my temples. I’ve had plenty of time to consider how to handle Orion.
We share a common goal, which requires us to be cordial—not to mention that keeping me alive is in his best interest. Outside of that, though, there will be no friendship.
This is now strictly business between us. “I’ve got it covered.”
“Not that you need it, but I’ll happily back you up.”
“You only want an excuse to fight him.”
“Semantics.”
I snort, and he flashes a bright smile—a swoon-worthy vision. “Get out of here. We have an early day tomorrow. Thank you for checking on me.”
“Always, Zellie.”
The night before the first challenge, Celeste, Lenny, Aria, and I gather at Celeste’s for a celebratory dinner.
We survived four weeks in an entirely new world, far from what we’ve known.
We’ve forged a bond together, one that feels closer than friendship.
Celeste is pure sunlight, radiating through my darkest moments.
She feels like an extension of me, much like Jada does.
My heart aches at the thought of Jada. Stars, I miss her.
Lenny is thoughtful and funny. He has a goofiness that can bring a smile to anyone’s face.
Aria is reserved and kind. I know that when we speak, she’s giving me her full attention, and that alone is so comforting—to be truly seen.
I’m proud of all of them, including myself.
I returned to training without issue while navigating my professional relationship with Orion smoothly.
As we sit on the floor with our bowls of noodles, laughing and ignoring the threatening anxiety gnawing at each of us, I know I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure we each come back tomorrow.
Our goodbyes are heartfelt; our hugs are seconds longer than usual. Tomorrow, everything changes.
I set back out to my apartment early in the evening, as we all want to get enough rest for whatever is to come.
I follow the long hallway mindlessly, thinking about everything and nothing.
Oof. Right into a wall of muscle. A familiar crisp and clean smell invades my airways.
I know when I look up, amber eyes will greet me.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” He takes one step backwards.
“As ready as I can be.”
With a soft grip, Leo tugs my chin to meet his look, his eyes glistening. “You do whatever it takes, you hear me?”
Why is he helping me? Why does he care? “Do you care if I make it or not?”
Like water extinguishing a flame, Leo drops his hand. “If you ask that, you haven’t been paying attention.”
“I’m sorry,” I rush out, grabbing his arm. “It’s hard to distinguish what is real here.”
His voice is a caress. “You can trust me to always be real with you, Zellie.”
“We will both move forward tomorrow.” A promise.
“There’s my girl.” My girl. The words caress my soul. “The Kosmos does not decide, the stars don’t decide, we decide our fate.”
“See you tomorrow?” I break contact reluctantly.
“It’s a promise.”
He saunters past me towards his apartment while I carry on in the opposite direction towards mine.
Replaying Leo's and my interaction, I open my door, the motion-sensor lights flickering to life.
“Dammit, Orion!” I gasp, jumping backwards.
Orion sits on the island and puts his hands up to show he means no harm. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”
“Then why are you sitting here in the dark?” I close the door, kicking off my runners.
“I was waiting for you! I haven’t moved; the lights went off on their own.”
“And is there a reason you’re sitting in my apartment, cloaked in darkness?”
“I wanted to check in and see where your head was at. See if you need anything. I’m still here, you know.”
Orion’s eyes are the picture of sadness: wide-eyed and downturned. “It's hard to forget you exist when I’m stuck with you.”
“I’m sorry, Zellie. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was wrong.”
“I’m not an Astral like you. I will never be like you.”
Orion flinches. “You could be.”
“I am enough just as I am.”
“I didn’t mean it like that… I know you are. Stars, Zellie, I’m trying. I’m sorry. Everything we have prepared in our training sessions has been for a reason. Keep that in mind, okay? I’m not the enemy. I’m here for you now, and I will be here for you tomorrow and every day following.”
I nod. “Okay. I’m going to get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He stands and walks to the door. “Goodnight, Zi.”
“Goodnight, Orion.”
As I prepare for bed, I fend off the negative feelings.
There’s no denying it; I’m terrified. I crawl into bed, pulling the sheets up to my chin.
There would be something very wrong if I weren’t, though, and that thought alone gives me pause.
How many circumstances have I faced already while being afraid?
When you’re able to move beyond the fear, true bravery occurs.
It’s okay that I’m scared—it’s good, even.
This simply proves that I’ve been brave all along.