Forty-seven nights after meeting the General
My chest felt like it was being crushed.
Like a crowd of people was surrounding me and I had nowhere to go.
It could very well have been the end. Somehow it was worse than getting captured, worse than being brought before the General in the first place.
By then I had begun to envision another life.
I had begun to care for him. All of that buildup would culminate in a tragic ending when I told Axel about the secret I had kept from him. A secret that I barely knew of myself.
Step by step I walked the halls of the General’s wing.
Grand, grey, and more daunting than ever.
I had taken a while to sleep on it, although not much sleep was had over the past few days.
When I woke up that morning, I felt I was living on borrowed time.
Waiting any longer would have suffocated me.
It was early in the morning. I was wearing the silks Axel left for me the night before.
This would be scandalous on any given day that I had any shame left.
On that day, I hoped I would be forgiven for not getting dressed before being sentenced.
The sun was not done rising. If I was going to have to tell Axel, I would rather be done with it.
That is how I found myself requesting a meeting with the General himself, with the alpha guards that prevented anyone from disturbing him.
To my surprise, I was immediately escorted to him.
We walked until we reached grand doors close to where I visited Axel in his study.
It was apparent to me that these were the chambers connected to the bathroom where I washed up after our moment of passion.
This would be of much more interest to me if I was not walking towards my impending doom.
“You may enter,” a guard said. My legs weren’t steady.
My lip was sore from all the biting I did since waking up, and my jaw was tight from grinding my teeth.
I walked through those doors to find a massive chamber.
I did not have the presence of mind to register any of the grandeur it contained.
My brain honed in on the man, sitting on his bed, wearing no furs or silks.
Even in cotton, he was intimidating. Someone I would rather not cross.
He looked at me then. If he was surprised to see me, he did not show it.
Selfishly, I wished to distract him. To have a few moments of respite from the dread I was feeling, in the arms of the alpha I had come to care for.
I knew it would only make the aftermath more devastating.
It would be better to be done with it. He did not say anything.
Did not ask me why I was there. He just looked at me, like it was all up to me.
It almost made me wonder if Erna had told him.
If he was waiting to see if I would be honest with him this time. I had to be honest with him.
“I-” The words got stuck in my throat. I took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” Silence. He was still sitting there, on the bed. I could not look him in the eyes, but his feet had not moved.
“What for?” he asked. His tone betrayed nothing of what he was feeling. He was always so frustratingly composed.
“There is something I haven’t told you, my lord.” He stood up from the bed. Even barefoot, I felt as though I could hear his footsteps as he neared me. Still not looking him in the eye, I felt as if I was being watched. He stood so close to me, I could hear him breathing.
“You’re telling me now.” If only it were that simple.
“I wouldn’t be telling you if no one found out,” I said. “Erna knows something about me. Something I don’t like to think about.” He didn’t say anything. Instead, I found him grabbing me by the waist. I did not have the presence of mind to move away from him.
“You can’t-” I started. He pulled me towards him. I suddenly felt so small. “You won’t want me anymore after I tell you,” I whispered. I heard the fear in my own voice, as if someone else was speaking the words that came out of my own mouth.
“Okay,” he said. He sounded unaffected, but his scent was soothing. My fear became bearable.
“No, you don’t understand. It’s bad.” I could not bear to feel his arms around me only for him to reject me moments later.
“Okay,” he repeated. “Tell me, omega.” I gathered some courage.
“It’s about my father,” I started. “I never met him, I swear.” A moment of silence. “He’s a druid, like me.”
“Obviously,” he said. He always waited a few seconds before gracing me with a response. He made everything feel simple when he used that tone of voice. Unimportant. As if I was just a child, needlessly worrying. It was as calming as it was frustrating.
“I don’t know why he left. I don’t know much about him,” I said. “But he is an enemy to you.”
His grip on me loosened. He looked at me, his hands holding my sides. He was no longer wrapped around me. He was looking at me. I wondered what he was thinking. I didn’t dare look into his eyes.
I felt the exact moment he realised what I was telling him.
His hands gripped me tighter, suddenly. His scent grew more intense.
I knew then, that he knew. That he understood what I was trying to tell him.
It was a joke that I was expecting no one to find out about it.
There was only one known druid in the empire other than myself.
The truth was right in front of their noses.
Because of the emperor's watchlist I could not even conceal our shared name.
I spent my life trying not to consider him my father.
His life, his choices. They were never supposed to be a part of mine.
Yet in not acknowledging him, I had forgotten the ways in which we were linked.
The ways in which it was apparent that he was my father, and I was his son.
“Victor’s court healer?” My lip tasted like blood when I bit it. I nodded slowly. Shame set my stomach aflame.
“There have been rumours for years about the emperor’s poor health.
Some even say that the druid in his court is keeping him alive.
I don’t think that’s true because Victor is still alive, while his healer is not.
” He let go of me. “I assume my father has died. That the emperor wants me to replace him.” I was waiting for him to lose composure.
For the mood to shift. For the tenderness to fade.
Instead, he tucked my hair behind my left ear. I looked up at him in surprise.
“I hope he has not died,” he said, “as he is not my enemy.”
“What?”
“I have met him. He is not my enemy.”
“You met him?” I had never met anyone that had met my father. My father was somewhat like folklore. A story I knew happened before I existed, only because I was told after the fact. To think that Axel met my father. That he knew him as a being made of flesh and blood.
“Once. He was kind to me.” Axel stood still, his left hand on my neck. His frown was not angry as much as it was worried. And suddenly, I worried as well. How was my father at the imperial court, if he was not Axel’s enemy?
“Was-is he their prisoner?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“But you didn’t even know what a healer looked like when you saw me for the first time.”
“I never saw him.”
“We share the same name!”
“I did not know his name.”
“That doesn’t make sense!”
“No one was allowed near him. I met him when I was injured. I was not all there. But I remember his voice,” he said.
“I remember he was kind to me.” Unsure whether the news was a relief or something of a nightmare, I felt my hands shake.
Axel took my hands in his own. He came close enough to my neck to scent me. My distress lessened.
“Where?” I asked.
“At Tellevine castle. Where I grew up.” I might not have been all there, soothed by pheromones to the point of sedation, but I still processed Axel’s shocking admission. Why did the General grow up at someone else’s court? Did everyone know about it? More importantly, if Axel was part spellcaster-
“How did you end up at his court?”
Axel took a step back. I could tell I was overstepping. This was not about him. His gentle response to my admission was nothing short of a miracle, and it was better not to jinx it.
“You know who my father is,” he said. We looked at each other. We were seeing each other in another light. Perhaps we were looking in a distorted mirror when we gazed upon one another. We had more in common than I ever realised.
“You will stay here,” he said suddenly.
“Here?”
“In my chambers.”
“What?”
He took my hand and led me towards the four-poster bed. In my bewilderment, I followed obediently. His scent permeated through me when I sat on the bed. It was soft, far too large for a single person, and thoroughly drenched in his alpha pheromones.
“You’ll be safe here.” It dawned on me that he meant to keep me in his chambers for God knows how long. A day? A week? To keep me safe from what?
“What? No, I need to go to the infirmary. I have to leave soon.”
“No, you don’t.” He pushed me down on the bed until I was lying flat on my back. He towered over me. Despite his commanding presence, there was a softness about him. He sat on his knees in between my legs, gazing at me as he stroked my cheek. “Not for a while.”
“Why?”
“Because I won’t let them take you from me.” I refused to be distracted by the way my silks fanned out, exposing bare flesh.
“That’s not necessary. No one has come for me.” He kissed my neck. “No one knows I’m here.”
“And no one will,” he promised. His kisses moved down from my neck towards my chest. I was barely there, but I was holding on to my sanity for as long as I could. “Because I will keep you safe.”
“Of course, yes. So, you see, I’m fine, I’m safe,” I promised. “I will just stay with the other healers.” He grabbed my arms and pinned them above my head. With my legs spread and my arms held in place, there was nowhere left for me to go.
“No, you won’t, omega. You will stay in my chambers.” And when he kissed me, started using his tongue, I forgot why it would be a bad idea. Why not live in his chambers? Why not be there all day? He ended the kiss and I felt him press against me.
“Okay,” I said. “Okay then.” He smirked at me, like he knew he had won. And he had, for a moment. How did I find myself in that position, instead of hanging from the noose? Was he that fond of me? Or was he like this with many omegas? Was I just another option?
I had no time to consider this, as he pulled my legs up towards my stomach, exposing the fact that there was nothing covering me under my silks.
When his hands touched me near my entrance, I was sure he could feel the wetness there.
I lost myself in desire. I forgot any qualms I had about his actions.
All I wanted was him to touch me. His eyes, now red, peered down at me as I let out a brief moan.
“Please-” I said in a voice I barely knew.
“Please what?” he asked. I didn’t know.
“Please, alpha!”
“What do you need?” I needed him. I needed my alpha. It was a need stronger than I had ever felt before. Even in the throes of my heat my need did not consume me as much as it did then. Why was the alpha still dressed?
“Anything,” I said. His chest rumbled. When he stepped back, I whined. But I was very interested when he unbuckled his trousers and-
There was a knock on the door. Then several.
Increasing in intensity. Axel was having trouble looking away from me.
He ignored the sound at first, but when the knocking wouldn’t stop, his eyes were no longer red.
The tension faded a tad. Coming to, I was mortified with my own actions.
With how far I was willing to go only seconds ago.
“I have to go away for a while.” He buckled up his trousers again, and walked off. He grabbed a fur coat, grabbed boots. Left me lying on that bed, wondering what just happened as he trudged around the room. His annoyance with the situation was palpable.
“What?” I asked.
“Three days.”
“What? Why?” I sat up to look at him.
“Don’t worry.” He put on his boots, no longer sparing me a glance. “You’ll be safe here.”
“That's not-” Here? For three days? “Wait, you can’t just leave me here!”
“I put a spell on this chamber to keep you safe,” he said.
He was fully dressed now, ready to step out of the room.
“I’ll be back.” And with that, he was out.
And I was in silks, on his bed, on my own, still quite needy and desperate.
A flood of emotions came over me as he left.
I was relieved to be alive. Terrified of what was to come.
Confused about him leaving me in the middle of- whatever that was.
Angry that I was once more confined to a chamber.
Intrigued by the fact that he had enough power as a sorcerer to put a spell on the chamber.
Worried about the patients that I would not get to see the following days.
I should have just used magic to heal them, commands be damned!
And why was I left there on that bed, all sticky and wet, and terribly unsatisfied?
The following days were sure to be torture.