Chapter 12 #2
Paul, unfortunately, has been in and out of prison over the years.
Not surprisingly mainly for dealing, some shoplifting and for being drunk and disorderly, as he’s always getting into fights when he’s drunk.
I keep in touch, bung him a bit of money every now and again because I owe him for being there when I needed him.
I also like to keep him away from the press.
I don’t need some journalist probing Paul about my past. Paul was the one who first introduced me to drugs.
I was quite a mess by the time Paul went to prison.
I couldn’t hold down a job, as I was either pissed or high, usually both.
I couldn’t hold down a relationship, and I was always getting asked to leave bands that I’d joined.
They used to love me at first, but once I’d made that first good impression and they got to know the real me, they would let me go.
I just couldn’t sustain being sober long enough to do the one thing that I’m good at; being the frontman in a rock band.
Thankfully, I’ve had my second chance with being in a successful band.
It’s strange to think that all my misfortune started with Evie leaving me and yet somehow my resurgence today is all to do with the song that I wrote for her all those years ago.
I just wish I could talk to her to find out what happened.
I’m almost fifty, and I’ve never been married or had a family.
I feel like I’ve missed out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful for a second shot at getting my music heard but my personal life’s a mess.
My phone beeps with a DM from Virginia inviting me over to her house in Hampton Hill tonight, with the promise of a home-cooked meal.
It does sound inviting. I message her back, agreeing to meet.
I’m not meeting her until 8 p.m., so I have the rest of the day to myself.
I decide to hit the gym, do some weights, go for a run and relax in the jacuzzi in readiness for dinner.
I reach Virginia’s house just after 8p.m. and discover her to be a very pleasant surprise.
Obviously, it’s the first time we’ve seen each other in over thirty years but we’ve picked up quite effortlessly, and I’m really enjoying the evening.
She’s cooked an amazing roast beef dinner with all the trimmings.
I haven’t eaten such a delicious home-cooked meal in years.
Virginia has two ex-husbands and two daughters, Sasha and Shannon, who she’s mainly brought up single-handedly.
You can easily tell how proud she is of them.
They sound like a nice, tight family unit.
The more I hear about her family, the more I regret the choices I’ve made over the years and the fact I’m fundamentally alone.
‘I’ll just go upstairs and get the photos.’ says Virginia, leaving the kitchen. ‘Help yourself to another beer if you like.’
She continues down the hallway. ‘What are your plans for tomorrow? Do you have an early start?’ Virginia asks, waiting for a response with her foot on the bottom step, ready to climb the stairs.
‘We start our rehearsals for the upcoming tour, and we’ve got a meeting with our manager, so it will be busy but hopefully nice and productive but yes, thanks, I think I will have another beer.’
‘Can you just top up my glass please? The bottle’s in the fridge.’ Virginia calls down from halfway up the stairs.
‘Sure thing.’ I call back, grabbing myself another beer and topping up Virginia’s prosecco.
I sip my beer as Virginia returns from upstairs with a bunch of Polaroids. She’s also carrying a tray. Within seconds, she’s carefully arranged all the Polaroids in a row across the tray.
‘I’ve tried to put them in date order as best I can. You might be able to shed some light on some of the ones that I can’t remember the dates of.’ Virginia continues.
We spend a few minutes laughing and joking about the state of our haircuts and clothing choices from the eighties until Virginia focuses our attention on a couple of the later photos of me and Evie.
I remember the day quite vividly, as it was an unusually warm day in early April.
A big crowd of us had gone to hang out at Mark’s.
His parents had installed their own swimming pool in their garden, inspired by their Spanish villa.
It was a great novelty back then, and Mark’s parents were more than happy to have us all over to share in the fun of having an outdoor swimming pool in London.
‘Look at Evie in this photo.’ says Virginia, pointing a carefully manicured nail at Evie, who was sitting on the side of the pool, dangling her legs in the water, watching and laughing as the rest of us splashed around in the pool.
‘Don’t you think it’s odd that Evie is the only one of us not in swimwear? ’
I shake my head. ‘Not really. I think she forgot her swimsuit that day, if I remember. She’d had another argument with her mum about going out when she was grounded, and she stormed out of the house without it.’
‘Well, the Evie I used to know would have just jumped in the pool in her underwear, but she seemed very hesitant on that day to undress and get in the water. Don’t you think that’s odd?’
‘Err no, not really. Maybe she was on her period? I dunno. Evie was a girl with her own rules.’ I say, feeling slightly uncomfortable as to where this conversation could be heading.
Virginia continues to scrutinise Evie in the photo. ‘Don’t you think she looks like she’s got a bit of a tummy on her?’
I stare harder at the photo. ‘Umm, I didn’t really notice, to be fair.’ I reply. I had forgotten that once Ginny has a bee in her bonnet, she won’t let it go.
Virginia leans back, taking her eyes from the photo to me. ‘Well, I have a theory. Pass me my glass, and I’ll explain.’
Virginia doesn’t waste any time once I pass over her glass. She takes a big swig, wrinkling her nose from the bubbles. ‘I think Evie was pregnant. That’s why she left. I guess her parents found out. Did you have any idea?’
Virginia’s comments are like a sucker punch. A family is all I’ve ever wanted. Surely that can’t be the reason Evie left?
‘I don’t think she was. I think I would have known.’ I reply somewhat defensively, not really knowing quite what to say to Virginia but trying to shut down this awkward topic of conversation.
‘No disrespect, but you were never and probably will never be an expert on pregnancy.’ says Virginia, completely dismissing my view.
‘I’ve had two babies. I know what it’s like to be pregnant, the changes that your body goes through.
You can see how her waist has slightly thickened here.
’ She points to it in the photo. ‘She definitely looks bigger. Her boobs look bigger too. I’m surprised you didn’t notice them.
I can’t believe we didn’t notice all those years ago, but I guess we were young.
’ she concludes, staring at me, waiting for me to respond.
‘Well, I’m not so sure. I’d like to think I would have noticed if Evie was pregnant, but I suppose it does explain a lot.
I guess I’ll never know. I can’t exactly ask her, can I?
’ I eventually say, completely dumbfounded by Virginia’s suggestion that Evie might have been pregnant.
This is not what I expected from tonight’s meet up.
I just feel emotionless, my brain struggling to process, still wanting to deny the whole thing because…
the idea of nearly having everything I’ve ever wanted and losing it is harder than thinking I was never even close.
‘I know it’s a lot to digest, Ed and I may be wrong, but it does explain why Evie left in such a rush. I know you two were having sex, because you know, girls talk.’ Virginia stated.
‘We only had sex a handful of times. We were careful….’ I begin before Virginia cuts me off abruptly.
‘I know Evie wasn’t on the pill, so it’s very possible that you weren’t as careful as you thought you were.’ Virginia said, almost scolding me like I was one of her children.
‘I guess it’s a possibility, I suppose. But how will I ever know?’ I ponder.
‘You’ll just have to hope that someone knows where Evie is, or she might reach out herself I guess.’ Virginia says, before adding. ‘Look I know this is a lot to take in, so I promise I won’t say anything to the press or release the photos, ok?’
‘Thanks Virginia. I really do appreciate that.’ I say, hoping that our teenage friendship is enough for this now almost stranger not to take her thoughts about a possible pregnancy to the press. It’s a risk I must take.