Chapter 16
GENIE
Now
Well, tonight is the night I will finally tell Gray the whole truth.
He deserves to know absolutely everything, and I think I’m just about ready to tell him everything.
I am so grateful to Gray for rescuing me all those years ago.
In fact, moving to Brighton was the catalyst in changing my life for the better, because not only did I meet my future husband, I also met my best friend, Maura.
I never believed in fate until I moved to Brighton and met them both. They were clearly sent to save me.
I’ve got in a selection of beers and a couple of bottles of rosé. By the time Gray arrives home, I’m already halfway through my first glass of wine. Dutch courage, I suppose.
‘Hi, gorgeous.’ Gray says, planting a kiss on the top of my head. ‘How are you doing?’
‘I’m ok. Let me get you a drink. What’s your poison?’ I say, getting off the sofa.
‘You always used to say that to me when we first met, you know.’
‘Did I?’ I reply, amazed still by what a caring and considerate man Gray is and how he always has a knack of remembering things about when we first met.
‘I’ll join you in a glass of wine although I must confess, I did have a couple of beers at work with the lads. You ok?’ He pauses, as if listening for movement upstairs. ‘No kids?’
‘I’m fine. Cassie is at Mel’s and Will is at Tommy’s so we’ve got the house to ourselves but there is something I wanted to talk to you about.’ I reply, nervously chewing on the side of my lip.
‘Well, why don’t we have something to eat first and then we can have a good catch up.’
‘Sure.’ I agree, knowing my secret’s still all mine for now. To be honest, I’d probably prefer to talk to Gray alone first without the kids here.
I fetch some food I cooked earlier from the kitchen and bring it to the conservatory, placing it on the table that I’ve already set up in there. I put the radio on low, hoping “Used to Be” doesn’t make an appearance tonight.
‘Do you want to chat now or after we’ve eaten?’ Gray asks, clearly keen to start eating, as he crams a piece of salami into his mouth.
‘No, we’ll talk after. We have the whole evening to talk.’ I reply, taking a seat opposite him. I know I’m holding the inevitable off. Maybe a glass or two of wine will lighten him up in preparation for the news. I mean, he seems to be in a good mood anyway but just to be sure.
Gray eats heartily, he’s probably worked through lunch again, knowing him, while I pick at a bit of salad, pushing the same couple of leaves around my plate, my throat dry and prickly with apprehension.
We mostly eat in silence. Luckily, silences between us have never felt awkward.
I don’t think Gray has time to talk between the amount he’s shovelling in per mouthful and the quickness at which he’s eating.
His second plate of food is nearly empty and he’s drinking quickly.
Our talk is looking less and less likely to happen.
‘Come on, Genie. What’s the great revelation, then?
’ Gray slurs, trying to pour me another drink.
I put my hand over my glass to show I don’t want any more, but Gray doesn’t notice and manages to pour the wine all over my hand and partly over the table.
I go to the kitchen to get a cloth to clear up the mess.
When I return, Gray isn’t there. I watch him pacing at the bottom of the garden. I walk down to join him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He envelops me in one of his special big bear hugs.
‘Sorry, Genie, the drinking’s got to my head, and I just needed some air.
I’m feeling a bit better now.’ His words are coming out less slurred.
‘Now, what did you want to tell me? I guess it’s important, and my guess is that it’s probably got something to do with Ed Nash. ’ He huffs, letting go of me.
Gray’s handsome face looks flushed and I’m not sure I should reveal all while he’s drunk. ‘I-I-I don’t know that now is the right time after all. You’ve had quite a lot to drink and—'
‘Oh, for God’s sake, Genie, I’m sick to the back teeth of pussyfooting around you.
Spit it out, woman. Perhaps you should have another glass of wine to loosen you up a bit.
I only want to help you and look after you.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. But time and time again, you close me down, and I feel as though you’ve never fully given yourself to me.
’ Gray leans back against the fence and looks up, clearly agitated.
‘I’ve always been honest with you, but you have always held something back.
I’m giving you that opportunity here and now.
Yes, maybe I’ve had a little too much to drink tonight but I’m here and I’m ready to listen to whatever you need to tell me. ’
I’ve never seen him so riled up, so passionate and so brutally honest. I love that man with every bone of my body, and here I am ready to break his heart. But he needs to know the truth. I owe him that much.
I take a deep breath. ‘If I tell you everything Gray, I ask you one thing. Just let me talk without saying anything. I’ll answer any questions that you have afterwards.
It all started when I was in sixth form when I first met Ed Nash…
’ I begin, knowing that once I say these words out loud to Gray there is no taking them back and Gray more than likely will never look at me in the same way.
‘It was just after my best friend Ginny’s birthday party and my parents had said that if they allowed me to go to her party I would then have to stay in and study up until my exams. After Christmas I became stir crazy being incarcerated at home and would make excuses to try and escape.
I also really wanted to go to Mark’s New Year’s Eve party.
He’s the drummer from Ed’s band. Somehow, I managed to talk Dad round, but my mum was furious.
Of course, the party turned into complete chaos as you can imagine with a bunch of teenagers in charge.
We all got so drunk that I ended up crashing out with Ed in one of Mark’s spare bedrooms. When I didn’t come home my parents came looking for me at Mark’s.
I have never been so humiliated as I was dragged from upstairs, leaving Ed crashed out and alone.
I was then completely grounded. My dad even drove me to school in the mornings, but I was allowed to come home on my own, mainly because it suited my mother, who did some sort of voluntary work at our local church in the afternoons.
Obviously, I took advantage of this time without either of my parents being around and could be found either over at Ed’s or Ginny’s.
It was one of those afternoons probably around late January early February when I called over to Ed’s not knowing that he’d got a detention.
I rang on the bell and his Uncle Paul opened the door, like he had many times before and welcomed me in.
He insisted that I had a drink, and I remember asking him for a cup of tea as it was quite cold outside and typical of most teenagers, I wasn’t wearing a coat.
He made me a tea which I drank sitting on the sofa in their living room whilst Paul practiced guitar in their kitchen.
I remember feeling an overwhelming desire to just sleep and I must have drifted off.
I’m not sure how long I was asleep for but when I woke up, I felt groggy and disorientated, and I just didn’t feel right.
I went to stand up, but my legs buckled, and I sat right back down again.
I called out to Paul but there was no reply.
I managed to somehow get myself upright and went to the bathroom when I noticed that my school shirt had the buttons done up the wrong way which seemed odd.
I splashed water on my face which seemed to help.
I walked through to the kitchen but there was no sign of anyone, so I just let myself out of the house and went home.
I just knew something was off as I just didn’t feel right and the fact that Paul was nowhere to be seen unsettled me.
Thankfully no one was home, so I went upstairs and had a shower which made me feel a bit better. ’
Gray looks at me and raises his hand as if to ask permission to speak. I nod.
‘Do you think Paul slipped something in your drink?’
‘It’s a possibility I suppose. I have no recollection of what happened that afternoon as I just felt so tired, but I made sure that I was never alone with Paul again.
He just gave me the creeps. I always felt he was watching me whenever Ed and I were together.
I never told Ed that I had called for him that afternoon and Paul obviously didn’t mention it either.
I just felt disorientated and quite frankly I just wanted to forget about it.
’ I said, taking a big breath to try and continue.
‘Genie! That’s an awful thing to have gone through. I had no idea. He was old enough to be your dad for God’s sake. I’d rip a man to shreds if that ever happened to Cassie. Why on earth didn’t you tell your parents?’ said Gray, completely horrified, shaking his head in disbelief.