Chapter 37
ED
Now
I awake with a start, momentarily unaware of what day it is and then I remember that it’s Saturday and I have the day to myself.
I think back to Amira’s most recent revelation and wonder if Evie has watched it.
I’m trying not to worry too much about who Amira has dug out of the woodwork to reveal more about me.
My guess is that it’s most probably Paul.
Perhaps I should have given him more money in return for his silence, but it’s a slippery slope to keep drip feeding his bank account.
I shower, make myself some coffee and have some cereal on my balcony, just watching the world go by.
One of the Australian girls I often say hello to in the lobby area is busy doing some exercises in the communal garden.
She’s my usual type: young, pretty, athletic and blonde, but what on earth would I have in common with someone her age?
Perhaps I’m finally growing up. Laughable, considering I’m almost fifty.
I finish my breakfast, lock up and take the lift down to the garage, bumping into Sid, who’s carefully checking for anything untoward.
‘Morning, Ed.’
‘Morning, Sid. Everything ok with you today?’
‘Not too bad, thanks. I still can’t believe how some people live, leaving their litter in the car park like this.’ he says, shaking his head whilst picking up several abandoned crisp packets with his litter grabber.
‘You’d think if you could afford to live somewhere like this, you would know how to behave.’ I agree.
‘It beggars belief, it really does, but enough of my woes. How are things with you?’ Sid asks.
‘Not too bad, thanks.’ I reply.
Sid stops litter picking and uses his litter picker in the same way people who talk with their hands do, as he starts turning the conversation to a fuller one.
‘Did I tell you that me and my Janice have been together for nearly forty years. I’m going to take her on a cruise to celebrate.
She’s always fancied going on one. You ever been on one of those cruises Ed? ’
Time for me to leave before I’m here all day. ‘I’ve never been on one myself, but my parents have, and they loved it.’ I say with a smile, getting into my car.
I have a lot of time for Sid. He’s old-school, with a heart of gold, and his Janice is lucky to have him.
Mark and Rosita are getting Baby Luna christened tomorrow and I’m being wheeled out as Luna’s godfather.
Rosita’s friend Manuela is the godmother.
Together with Jez, Mark and I went to a Catholic secondary school but that’s as far as the Catholic bit goes for me, but Rosita is just happy that Mark was able to find at least one Catholic friend to be involved, albeit an extremely lapsed Catholic.
Jez couldn’t do it really as he’s now atheist after his little dabble with Buddhism after Poppy died.
Manuela and Isabella who are Rosita’s best friends from her school days have just flown over from Spain for the celebration.
It’s a big Catholic baptism and Mark has flown over Rosita’s entire immediate family over too.
I decide to drive to Kingston to buy a suitable christening gift for Luna, having typically left it a bit last minute.
I park up and begin aimlessly perusing the baby department in John Lewis trying to find inspiration for a gift until a kindly and motherly shop assistant, who thankfully has no clue who I am, takes pity on me and suggests some suitable gifts.
We settle on a tiny sterling silver bracelet, a hand knitted blanket with Luna’s initial embroidered on it and a piggy bank.
The kindly shop assistant even reminds me to put some cash into the piggy bank which I duly do, as apparently, it’s a sign of good luck.
What do I know about babies? She arranges for everything to be gift wrapped to be collected later.
I thank her profusely for all her help and say goodbye just as one of her colleagues says to her in a loud whisper.
‘Oh my God, Dorothy! Do you realise that you just served Ed Nash?’
‘Who dear?’ Dorothy replies as her colleague then gives her a potted history all about me.
‘Well, you know me, I just like to help the customers, whoever they might be. And I have to say he was a very polite man!’ Dorothy replies. Clearly Dorothy wasn’t on TikTok!
I decide to get some lunch and choose a discreet pub along the river, opting to sit in a corner booth away from prying eyes and order a chicken salad and sparkling mineral water as I’m driving, and I also know that tomorrow will be a heavy one after the christening.
Mark and Rosita have been planning this christening for ages and Mark is looking forward to letting his hair down after all the recent sleepless nights he’s had since Luna was born whereas Rosita is just looking forward to having all her family with her to celebrate her daughter.
I finish up at the pub as it’s getting busy now and word has got round that I’m here.
A couple of customers take a few snaps as I leave.
Hurriedly I make my way back to John Lewis to pick up the gift-wrapped gifts for Luna.
I drive back through Richmond Park and instead of heading home, I pop by to see if Mark needs any help for tomorrow and it’s a good opportunity to drop off the christening gifts.
I love it at Mark’s house. Throughout the many years of us being gigging musicians Mark always had an interest in property and together with his dad they would buy up the worst house in the best street in an affluent or upcoming area, do it up and flip it.
It worked well for ages until he fell in love with the Richmond house and his parents helped him buy it, as they felt that he had put so much of his heart and soul into this particular project.
I park up on Mark’s expansive drive and ring the bell to be greeted by who I can only assume to be Rosita’s mother.
She is highly confused as to who I am or indeed why I have called by, so she calls Mark.
‘Hello mate.’ Mark calls out with a whisper, as he comes down the stairs carrying a sleeping Luna over his shoulder.
‘Sorry, have I called at a bad time? I just wanted to drop off my beautiful goddaughter’s christening gifts.’ I say, apologising profusely.
‘No probs Ed. Just pop them in the front room and I’ll let Rosita know about them when she gets back from the hairdressers.’ Mark says, rubbing the small of Luna’s back. He then remembers his manners and introduces me to Carmen.
‘Carmen, this is my friend Ed who is the singer in our band. He’s also going to be Luna’s godfather.’ Mark says in a combination of broken Spanish with a few English words thrown in for good measure.
‘Si, Si. Buenas tardes Ed.’ Carmen replies with a big smile, kissing me on both cheeks.
‘Buenas tardes Carmen.’ I reply, as Carmen holds me in a vice like grip. She then starts making a kind of shooing noise in Mark’s direction and swoops in to take the sleeping Luna from Mark’s arms.
‘Gracias, Carmen.’ Mark replies, leading me towards the back of the house and into the garden and ushers me to the summerhouse which also doubles up as Mark’s man cave.
It’s equipped with a selection of gym equipment and weights with a fully fitted bar and a screen.
There is also a vintage juke box in the corner which I can never resist taking a look at.
‘Choose a tune. I purposely haven’t added any Mountaineers’ tracks on there, if that’s what you’re looking for, though!’ Mark comments, stifling a snort of laughter.
‘I’m not that egotistical, you know!’ I reply, digging Mark in the ribs. ‘What about some Clash?’
‘Yeah. Go for it. Do you remember when we used to cover their songs?’ Mark asks, remembering that not too long ago we were a covers band, before our breakthrough with “Used to Be.”
‘I was never going to be as good as Joe Strummer, now, was I?’
‘You found your own voice and we eventually found our own sound and if our recent popularity is anything to go by, we’re not doing too badly, are we?’ Mark says with a sense of pride. ‘Now get that tune on and I’ll fix us both a drink.’
‘I’ve got the car, better not have a drink.’
‘Ah come on. I’ve bloody earned a couple of beers after the week I’ve had with Rosita’s extended family and friends being here.’
Are they all staying here?’ I ask.
‘No, thank God. Just Carmen, who you’ve just met, and Rosita’s dad Enrique and Rosita’s best friends Isabella and Manuela.
Her cousins are in a local hotel.’ Mark explains.
‘I reckon you and Jez will really get on with Isabella and Manuela. They’re both gorgeous and you’ll be spending a lot of time with them tomorrow. ’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure I’m nice and polite to Rosita’s friends. I’m sorry I’m so distracted with all this #girlinthesong business but I’m hopeful that Evie will reach out before too long.’ I try to explain.
‘You’ve got to let it go mate. Don’t you think if Evie wanted to be found, she would have reached out by now?’ Mark says pragmatically.
‘Yeah. I know. But I’ve just got a feeling she’ll be in touch. I just want to know if I’m a dad really. Ever since Virginia showed me those photos of your pool party all those years ago, it’s just got me thinking that that is the most logical reason for her leaving.’
‘I know it’s hard mate, but have you ever thought she might be married, and her lack of comment is her way of responding?’ Mark replies.
‘Yeah. I guess you could be right.’ I say somewhat despondently, knowing that Mark is most probably right.
‘Are you sure you won’t join me? You can always just leave your car here, you know.’ Mark says encouragingly as he takes a sip of his beer.
‘Yeah. Go on. Let’s wet the baby’s head or whatever the saying is.’ I reply, finally giving in and accepting a bottle of beer from Mark.
‘Cheers.’ We say in unison and clink our bottles.
‘Here’s to a very successful christening for my beautiful goddaughter.’ I toast, as Joe Strummer sings out from the jukebox. I end up having a few more beers with Mark and we’re already on beer number three when Rosita knocks on the door of the summerhouse and Mark calls through to invite her in.
‘Hola Ed. How are you?’ Rosita says, doing the same double kiss routine that her mother had greeted me with earlier.
‘Hi Rosita. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow.
It’s a big day ahead for Luna.’ I reply, wanting to put Rosita at ease as I’ve always liked her, and I know that sometimes she finds it difficult with Mark being in the band, often being away from home and her not having a real support network in London as her family all still live in Spain.
‘Yes, yes. It will be such a wonderful day with us all together.’ She replies, her face breaking into a beaming smile. ‘Would you like to eat with us? Mama has made big paella so plenty food for all.’
‘Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude on your family time.’ I reply, placing my beer on the bar.
‘Yes, of course. Mama makes food for everyone. You also meet my friends. Manuela is godmother. Yes?’ Rosita persists, as I now realise that I am indeed staying for dinner and meeting her friends, whether I want to or not!
Rosita stands on her tiptoes and kisses Mark on the lips which he reciprocates.
‘Your hair looks great.’ Mark says noticing that her hair has been freshly cut and coloured her trademark burgundy. ‘Where’s Luna?’
‘Thank you mi amor. She sleep now, so we eat, yes?’ Rosita says, smiling up at her husband.
‘Ok. We’ll be with you n five minutes.’
Rosita nods and leaves us alone.
‘Bloody Hell! Paella again. It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but it’s the third time since they got here!’ Mark says trying to make a joke out of it. ‘Luna will be awake in about an hour or so, so that’s why we eat so damned early. Sorry.’
‘No problem. It’ll be nice to have some company for a change.’
‘You’ll be only too happy to return to your nice quiet flat after a night with us!’ I’m not so sure I think to myself.
Mark picks up our empty beer bottles and pops them in a carefully placed recycling bin, just outside the summerhouse and we make our way back to the house.
Carmen greets me with more double kisses and seats me in between Rosita’s friends, Mark is next to Rosita with the cousins opposite him.
Enrique is at the head of the table with Carmen to his left.
Enrique quietens everyone down and says grace at the table in Spanish before we eat.
Carmen busies herself serving everyone and finally we dig in.
The cousins, Pedro and Juan seem pleasant enough, and they chat quite animatedly to me about the band and how they are looking forward to seeing us on tour.
Isabella and Manuela are delightful and even a year ago, I would have been interested in pursuing things with either of them but my heart’s just not in it.
My infamous womanising seems to have left the building and looking around me, seeing Mark so settled with Rosita, totally enchanted with Baby Luna, despite his extreme tiredness, I realise I want what he’s got – a family.
He somehow shares his love and his time between his other daughters and maintains a civil relationship with each of his daughters’ mothers and is an integral part of our band.
Apart from the band, I feel isolated and alone without a partner or a family.
Is Evie and our potential child the answer to all my problems?