Chapter 36
GENIE
Now
My relief in telling Maura my long-kept secret has finally brought me a kind of solace.
Maura being Maura doesn’t judge or criticise; she only offers comfort.
She mourns with me for being denied a lifetime with my daughter.
And just like Gray, I can see how devastated she is about not knowing and not being able to help me all those years ago.
When I finally got away from Bournemouth and arrived in Brighton, it was my chance to start again and block out all that had happened.
The only person that I remotely missed was my dear old Dad.
Maura was instrumental in helping me build a new and happy life, and I will always be so very grateful to her for that.
Despite the initial tears that my revelation caused, we do manage to have fun in our remaining week Stateside.
Maura insists on treating us all to swimming with dolphins at one of the nearby theme parks on one of the days - something the children have always wanted to do.
We all take delight from our up-close encounter with such captivating creatures.
We sunbathe, snorkel, swim and take it in turns trying to get into a hammock and not fall out.
Will is the most skilled and successful in staying put, whilst the rest of us prefer the static comfort of a sun lounger.
Later, Gray catches up on some much-needed sleep under a shady palm tree, Will enjoys sampling a selection of the all-inclusive food that’s on offer and Maura, Cassie and I find ourselves mesmerised by the aviary, where colourful birds fly down to take food from your hands.
We couldn’t have asked for a more perfect day together.
With Maura here, the shopping trips have increased, and Gray finds himself being somewhat of a taxi service, but he never complains, often just dropping us off, giving him and Will some time together to play crazy golf, go to the movies or just chill at the villa.
Everyone is happy doing things that please them.
Surely that’s the point of a good holiday; getting away from the usual routine, experiencing new things, having fun and relaxing.
For us, for the first time in ages, we feel like a normal family again.
We fall into a new routine, and most evenings after dinner, Gray often nods off or goes to bed early, all those jetlagged early mornings clearly catching up with him. Maura and I usually grab a bottle of wine, relax in the pool and just talk, reminiscing about times gone by, just as we are tonight.
‘Who’d have thought old Jonesy would have made such a success of himself?’ Maura observes, taking in the beauty of the illuminated pool and lush tropical garden, which both seem even more magical at night.
‘I know what you mean. Even before I met Gray, Jonesy would always have a different woman with him at the bar.’ I agree.
‘He never settled down, did he?’ Maura asks.
I shake my head, reaching for my wine glass. ‘He just can’t seem to, but he’s such a good friend to us as a family. And I owe him a lot. He was the one who persuaded me to invite Gray for an after-hours drink the night we met.’
‘I never knew that.’ Maura confesses. ‘But then, there were a lot of things I didn’t know back then…’
‘I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner about what I’d been through.
I guess I just cast everything bad that had happened to me away because I needed a new life.
Looking back now, I realise I was most likely suffering from postnatal depression, and I had kind of shut down emotionally as a way of dealing with everything that had happened to me.
’ My eyes are unable to hold Maura’s understanding gaze for too long, the guilt too much.
‘I guess I would have liked to have had the opportunity to help you, look after you in some kind of way.’ she explains sadly, full of regret about what she might have been able to do if I’d perhaps given her the chance.
‘But you did help me.’ I try to reassure her.
‘Together with Rudi and his incredible food and lovely, patient Dom who taught me everything about being a good barmaid, who never tired in telling me about the stories behind his numerous tattoos, you became my new family. We were all there because you took a leap of faith with us and gave us all a chance.’ I say with such conviction and love for a woman who I have no blood ties to but who loves me more than my own mother ever has.
Maura smiles at me through her tears. ‘We had such a good gang there at The Hidden Snicket back then, didn’t we? I still get emails from Rudi and Dom to this day, and they always ask after you.’
‘I’m sure Rudi finding success with his restaurants back in Germany and Dom finally becoming a bar owner in Ibiza all has something to do with you. Dom always said you had a knack of finding the right people to take a chance on. I would never have met Gray if it wasn’t for you…’
‘And I’ve always believed that you all had your own way of finding me because I needed you all as much as you needed me.’ Maura says as we both raise our glasses, celebrating our enduring friendship.
And just as we clink our glasses, we notice a group of fireflies lighting up and sparkling in the night sky.
Their beauty is enchanting and mystical as they move together with their shining light.
I remember once reading that the sight of fireflies is a symbol of light entering your life, and that’s exactly how I feel right now, here with Maura.
After a lifetime of holding back, keeping secrets from my loved ones, it’s now my time to light up and shine and push forward to try and find my missing daughter, with the help of my ever-loving family and best friend.