Chapter 44 #2
‘Fancy joining me?’ I say, holding up my almost empty glass.
‘I certainly do.’ Gray replies with a weary grin as I walk towards the patio doors. ‘On second thoughts, bring out the bottle!’
‘Will do.’ I call back.
I pick up a glass for Gray and bring out the rest of the bottle. I place them both on the outside table and pour him a generous glass and top mine up too.
Gray clinks my glass before taking a generous sip from his, as the strain of his day starts to lift.
‘Thanks for this Genie. You’re a lifesaver. Hope your day has fared better than mine.’
‘I’ve felt so discombobulated today; thinking about everything, processing what Emma told us and missing having her here and wondering what to do for the best and then suddenly things became clearer.’ I explain.
‘Ok. I’m all ears.’ Gray says, willing me to carry on talking.
‘I’m going to send a message to Ed via Instagram as you suggested recently.’ I continue as Gray nods in agreement.
‘And I’ve been looking through social media on some posts that we’ve somehow missed. Ed’s been posting videos himself being quite open and honest. He’s said on two separate occasions; he just wants me to reach out.’ I explain.
‘It’s the way forward. Your message will go straight through to him, hopefully without being intercepted by anyone else and then the rest is up to him I guess.
’ Gray says quietly. I’m concerned that by reconnecting with Ed again that it will hurt Gray, but he has been the one constantly pushing the idea of restablishing contact.
‘Are you sure you’re ok with it? It potentially could open a can of worms.’ I say, as I reach over to touch his hand, wanting reassurance that he really is ok with this.
‘It’s the right thing to do Genie.’ he says softly, squeezing my hand gently. ‘Despite how I feel about the guy, he does have a right to know that he is a father. Perhaps together we can all help find Milly.’
‘Thank you.’ I whisper, the words almost stuck in my throat as I feel so much love and gratitude for my soulmate.
‘You’re welcome. You know I’ve always got you.’ he replies, smiling straight into my eyes and I know that he really does mean it.
‘I think it’s time to eat before we demolish this moreish bottle of wine.’ I suggest, lightening the mood.
‘Agreed. Especially as you’re a whole glass or so ahead of me.’ Gray jokes. ‘Need any help?’
‘No. You’re good. It’ll give you an opportunity to catch up with me.’ I say, blowing him a kiss as I walk to the kitchen to bring out our food.
Gray and I heartily tuck into our food and Gray hoovers up the remainder of the potato salad.
Luckily, I’ve made extra for the children, which is tucked away at the back of the fridge, just in case they come home hungry.
What I really mean is I’ve made extra for Will as that boy is always hungry.
He seems to be going through yet another growth spurt.
Gray says he was just the same at Will’s age.
We’ve almost finished our drinks, and I feel so buoyed up with confidence and hope that I now feel ready to contact Ed.
And it’s not just the alcohol that is feeding my need for contact but for the first time in ages I no longer have that feeling of fear, of being found out.
When the one thing about me that I never felt ready to share with anyone is out there for everyone to know and despite everything, I’m still standing, then surely, I’m strong enough to meet Ed again and tell him the truth face to face.
Gray helps clear the table and we decamp inside as despite the heat of the day, it’s starting to feel a bit chilly to still be outside. I start to load up the dishwasher, but Gray distracts me by opening another bottle so we leave the rest of the kitchen and relax in the sitting room.
‘Obviously now is not the time to send a message to Ed as I’ve had far too much to drink, but I’d like you to take a look at what I propose to send to him.’ I say casually, as I pass my phone over to him.
He reads it and nods.
‘It’s perfect. It’s simple and straight to the point. There’s no reason to elaborate.’ he says, handing back my phone. ‘To be honest, you could easily send it now. You wrote it when you were sober, didn’t you?’
‘Yes. Of course. Despite being the shortest message I’ve ever written, it took me ages to get it right.’ I say, smiling at Gray. He knows that he could use far fewer words than me to say the same thing!
‘No time like the present. Copy and paste it into a message’ Gray says convincingly.
‘You don’t think it’s too late?’ I ask, hesitating.
‘Of course not. You’ll tie yourself in knots wondering if it’s too late or too early. He’ll respond in his own time.’ Gray says decisively.
‘Ok. Here goes.’ I say as I copy and paste the text from my notes and copy it into an Instagram private message. I hesitate before pressing send.
‘Done!’ I announce somewhat breathlessly to Gray.
‘Good. You’ve done the right thing. I’m proud of you.’ he replies, as he pulls me in for a kiss. I kiss him back and hold him close, relieved that he’s got my back.