Chapter 31 Amick
Amick
Admitting defeat sickens me.
The feeling crawls through my system as I stare down at the parchment waiting on my desk.
The note attached to it makes it worse.
“I’ve delivered this a day early as a courtesy to you and your brothers.”
No mention of Thayla. Not even an acknowledgment of her existence. I can’t decide if that angers me more. I want the High Chancellor to ignore her entirely, and yet, I demand she be shown respect.
An impossible contradiction.
One that ultimately doesn’t matter.
Men like him, gods like him, do as they please. We endure the consequences, and then we aren’t allowed to respond without forfeiting even more.
I don’t pretend some moral code keeps me from killing anyone who’s harmed my Binder. My restraint has nothing to do with mercy. It’s strategy.
If I act on the violence taking root in me, I risk us all. Power lost now is power we won’t have later.
We need to secure our power, then we kill them.
My thoughts are beginning to mirror Riven’s.
Splendid.
The decree for the Power Worthiness Test reads exactly as expected.Straightforward and self-aggrandizing.
All completed Valtrues are to assemble in the Gods Sanctum early morning one week from the issuing of this decree. Any chosen Attendants are required to accompany and participate.
Then comes the sanctimonious indulgence—how heavily this weighed on his heart, how the Beginning Gods guided his hand, how this decision was made for the good of all.
I truly wonder if he received guidance and the fool is obliging without questioning.
A knock interrupts my thoughts. The rhythm isn’t my Binder’s, my brothers’, or anyone’s I’ve memorized. My senses stretch toward the door, attempting and failing to recognize who’s on the other side.
“Come in.” I disguise my shock when the last person I would’ve assumed it’d be walks in. “Nero. What can I do for you this morning?”
“Is this a bad time?”
“I suppose that depends on why you’ve shown up to my office unannounced.”
He grunts and shuts my door behind him. I observe how tense his shoulders are and how stiff every step he takes toward my desk is.
“Is there a reason for your unease?”
“Do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
“Call people out like that.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I can read people’s body language quite accurately, but I don’t always get the motivation behind it correct. Just now, I assumed your tension was because you were preparing to attack me or as I called out, filled with unease. Unease seemed like the more likely scenario.”
He stares at me. I allow him to observe all he wants and needs. It’s clear he’s struggling to get an understanding of me.
“I have no reason to attack you.”
“I’m aware. Hence why I went with my second assumption. As I said.”
He sucks his teeth and the sound grates on my ears, but I don’t say anything. I imagine even after yesterday’s apologies and time spent together—undrugged—that wasn’t enough time for him to fully trust us.
We must try harder to get these men to at least tolerate us.
More so Riven.
For Thayla’s and Yemi’s benefits.
“Okay then. Well, I was just stopping by to give you this back.”
From his pocket, he produces the agreement made on my brothers’ and my behalf. I’ve been more occupied with Thayla than worried about that, but I had wondered if he was going to give it back without me asking.
“You didn’t mention anything about it yesterday,” I comment as I take it from his hand.
“You made it clear you weren’t telling your brothers or Binder about it, so I figured I shouldn’t bring it up either. Not that it would matter anyway.”
“Does that mean you didn’t find anything?”
“I don’t believe anything helpful.”
“You never know what small detail can be helpful, Nero. I’d appreciate you voice whatever concern or even conspiracy you may think you came across.”
“There are no conspiracies, I can assure you. As far as agreements go, that one is airtight in terms of not being able to sever it. Are you aware of which Beginning God wrote it?”
“Multiple contributed to it.”
He hums and nods. “That’d make sense. There’s no doubt in my mind the Goddess of Accord had her hand in this.”
I don’t elaborate. She did.
As did the other two Beginning Goddesses.
“Is that observation relevant?”
He again stares at me and at this point, he’s making me feel like nothing more than a piece of art he can ponder over.
“I assume you noticed the many terms written and how they all are loose in the definition of consequences depending on who breaks them?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Most agreements I come across, it’s usually not like that. The consequences are clear. If one party steps over the line, the arrangement becomes void. This one is written in a way that gives you all, including your father, a lot of flexibility. Although the power imbalance is very clear.
“From what I gather, the only true repercussion your father would truly face is if in the event he came to the Godsdawn and attempted to take you against your will back to the Abandon, the others would step in against him. For the four of you, though, there are a few terms that are clearly laid out that would cause your return to the Abandon.”
This isn’t new or helpful information to me. Derivius, although he didn’t disclose this entire agreement to us, was very clear about certain rules we had to follow and things we had to be careful about.
Namely, the killing Domain Gods rule and a warning about the loss of protection for us if we cross the barrier willingly. Even to go fight.
“Judging by the blank look on your face, you knew that.”
“Yes. I’m well aware of the terms and truthfully, I’m not concerned with them. As you said, those provide us with plenty of flexibility to get out of trouble aside from a distinct few. The only thing I care about is a way to void the entire agreement. The terms don’t do that.”
“I agree they don’t, but there’s a piece of one that stands out to me and it’s why I asked about the Goddess of Accord.
I won’t lie to you, the first time I read through it, I skimmed right over this.
It’s something she always adds to any decree or agreement she oversees, depending on the definition of expectations.
The second time gave me pause. I don’t know what it means, though. ”
He motions for me to unroll the scroll, and he holds one side down for me as I drag the rest out. I follow his finger across the long-winded fluff until he stops at the long list of terms that laid out their expectations of us while we were here in the Godsdawn.
While under the privilege and protection of the Godsdawn, the sons shall be assigned roles deemed necessary to the betterment of Godsden. Fulfillment of these roles is expected and nonnegotiable. Exceedance of them is neither required nor anticipated.
In the event that the expectations of a standing divine accord are fulfilled, or deemed to have been fulfilled, the matter may then proceed under doppia disaccord.
Where appointed entities demonstrably fulfill and surpass their designated functions, the governing authority will be required to acknowledge completion.
“The sentence that begins with, in the event that expectations, blah, blah, blah, she always includes this sentence. Hence why I skimmed the first time. The second read through, I realized after the part, the matter may proceed, she used different wording. She always says, the matter may proceed at the discretion of the binding authority.”
I hum as I read the entire sentence repeatedly. I didn’t skim this anytime I read it. It was expectational, godly charged jargon in my mind.
All agreements have expectations attached to them and to me, this was the term that stated they expected us to fulfil and keep up our roles.
“What does doppia disaccord mean?”
“I have no clue.”
“Is that not a commonly used term among you Rulers?”
“No. Don’t you Guiders know more than any of us?”
“No. We’re all supposed to work with one another.”
He grunts. I can’t tell if it’s from his personal disagreement or if he agrees with my statement, but is acknowledging the Designations don’t work together as they should.
“I need to be going. Sorry I didn’t come up with more than it seems you did on your own.”
“You did. Given my brothers’ and my purposeful distance from the Goddess of Accord, I never would’ve known this was her wording or I suppose a change in her verbatim. I’m not sure if it means much, but it’s more than I had. I appreciate that.”
I’m not sure what sound that is coming out of him. Something akin to surprise, possibly. He dips his head and turns on his heel to leave.
“Nero, if I may.”
He pivots back toward me with his hand on the door handle.
“I know you take a lot of pride in your position in Valveilious, which is fine and understandable, but I’d like for you to know, my brother doesn’t want that position. You can let go of your formality around him. All of us, for that matter.
“Also, your parents’ approval may be something you continuously seek due to their standing and your fear of becoming lesser, but you could never be lesser at this point.
Your Valtrue is incredibly strong. It’s my guiding advice, you put your effort into impressing the family you now have.
Not the one who will never accept you by this point. ”
The look on his face is very unkind.
He doesn’t say anything as he slings the door open. He freezes only long enough not to slam into my brother, then he stomps away.
“Well, good to see you too, Nero,” Kyzen calls as he arches a brow. “What did you say to him?”
“I thought very helpful advice, but apparently not.”
I reiterate my exact recommendation. I still don’t understand the error of my words, but judging by the way Kyzen sighs and pinches his nose, I didn’t communicate something effectively.
“What was he even doing here?”
“He came to express he wasn’t going to hold Riven’s actions over our heads.”
He snorts. “You know you’re only good at lying when you have time to think about the lie, right?”