Chapter 21 Thayla
Thayla
I’m not sure who to focus on.
My deadly glare slides off Riven’s coy smile, then moves first to Amick and then Kyzen.
A long, drawn-out breath falls from my lips as I mentally prepare what I want to say.
Neither appears mad. Concerned, almost anxious, yes. Their voices weren’t raised in an angry shout, just elevated with shock. There’s also a touch of knowing and acceptance behind their eyes like they’ve been expecting and waiting for this to happen.
I wince when I finally glance at Creed.
“You should probably go clean your mouth out.”
He tilts his head at me, and his signature frown deepens when he cuts his eyes over at Kyzen’s chuckling.
“Oh, you freaky little thing. Did you suck Kyzen’s soul out of him today, then let Creed kiss you?”
My hand slaps through the water, splashing Riven in his face. Embarrassment spreads through my body like ice and I squeeze my eyes shut. No part of me wants to tell Creed the truth.
As unexpected as his kiss was, it was perfect.
For the brief, blissful seconds it lasted, he shattered all my fear, gave me the feeling of safety and the strength I needed not to crumble under the realization I was very close to death.
The urgency behind every stroke of his tongue confirmed to me that my feelings aren’t one-sided at all.
He kissed me like a man afraid of losing me.
Kissing the God of Death sure felt like coming alive.
Until I found out that ash was a dead man.
Honestly, Riven’s sexual assumption would be easier for me to admit out loud. I don’t want to ruin that moment for Creed and me, but I can’t not tell him the truth.
That would be disgusting.
“No. That’s not it at all. I…”
The hard frown lines around Creed’s lips soften as his gaze sears into mine. “It was the ash.”
My mouth parts, and I nod once.
“So you had a little ash in your mouth? Jeez, the way you were acting, I was ready for it to be something off the wall.”
My nostrils twitch. “It was ash from a dead man, Riven. That is off the wall.”
He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on, we’ve all eaten a little ash before. You guys remember that time I asked Mr. Breski for some sugar in my berries and he gave me some? Then ol’ Daddy dearest found out, turned him to ash, sprinkled him all over my lunch, and made me eat it.
“I was freaking the hell out until Amick whispered in my ear that all matter is destroyed during the process of something becoming ash. So it’s sterile or what the fuck ever, so no harm would come to me and to just eat it. That was so fucked up.”
His chuckle guts me. It’s laced in pain no matter how much he’s trying to downplay what came out of his mouth.
The haunting sound of that laugh slowly fades from my ears. My lips and fists tremble as my eyes water. I’m torn between swimming over there butt-ass naked and hugging him or going absolutely fucking crazy.
I don’t do either. I sit here. Shocked still with a bone-deep chill running through my blood.
Gods, what I’ve been through is nothing compared to what they’ve had to face.
I don’t have a right in the realm to complain.
The power in me is going to remind them of him constantly.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
I don’t know what look is on my face, but I try to school it the best I can. “I’ll turn him to ash for you. I don’t know how, but I will.”
“Oh really?” He gives me a saucy smirk. “You’d kill a Beginning God for me?”
“I would. For any of you.”
The humor on his lips vanishes and he tears his predominantly blue swirling irises from my face. I let the seriousness in my statement shine through all my features as I glance at Amick, Kyzen, then Creed.
He pushes himself up until he’s sitting on my sink counter and his movement draws Kyzen’s and Amick’s attention as well. I stay focused on him as he goes through a nervous routine of cracking his neck, then his knuckles.
I swear the breath he releases causes me to inhale sharply.
He doesn’t speak much, and when he does, he’s mostly an asshole, but I recognize when there’s a shift in his demeanor. Just like when he was training me, everything he said was important. I knew to listen.
Something is about to come out of his mouth that will change everything.
There’s a fierce mixture of determination and appreciation in his eyes as they pierce me, but they turn cold as he turns to his brothers.
“Yes, I kissed her. I don’t regret it, nor will I apologize for it. In your minds, I may have stepped over some sort of relationship line, but I want to make this clear, she’s as much mine as she is either of yours.”
Fuck.
My pulse thuds in my ears as my heart does flips in my chest. I attempt to remind myself that inhaling too hard will have my breasts breeching the water, but I can’t slow my rapid, irregular breaths.
“We know that.”
The confidence in Amick’s voice sends the bathroom into shocked silence. Creed’s body flinches as his eyes bounce between the two of them and me. He prepared himself for a fight rather than agreement.
“We do know that. We’ve discussed this and knew this would become a possibility.
We won’t dictate your relationship with her, but you will define it, Creed.
You can’t make a claim like that here in front of her, all of us, then pull away from her after we leave this room and the high of the day settles down.
I’m not going to mediate and interfere with whatever develops with her and any of us, but I will with this.
I won’t allow you to confuse or lead her on. ”
My heart swells at the fierce protectiveness coming from Kyzen. He’s literally always forced to be the middleman in every situation. It warms my whole body knowing he doesn’t want to nor is he going to mediate my relationships but is willing to step in to protect my feelings.
“You’ve discussed it? As in you two or…?” Creed’s head turns toward me, and I swallow roughly.
“We’ve discussed it.”
“Kyzen and I have discussed this without Thayla present as well. Today, actually. I’ve accepted this dynamic works best for the five of us. I’m emotionally and mentally prepared for this relationship. Kyzen still needed time to consider it.”
Worry rushes through my chest and the water ripples as I whip toward Kyzen.
The scowl he was giving Amick settles into an understanding smile when he focuses on me. I never take my eyes off his as he strides across the bathroom until he’s kneeling at the edge of the bath.
His thumb gently caresses my cheek. “I am okay with this. I won’t lie to you and say I didn’t have my doubts, worry, and even a sense of jealousy that I’ll still need to manage, but that’s for me to worry about. Today changed a lot in my heart and mind.
“I mean it when I say, though, I don’t want to constantly be the voice of reason in your relationships with them, but I will step in when it comes to how you’re being treated. I expect him to state his intentions in this and be honest with you before I’m completely okay with it.”
He leans forward, and I meet him halfway, locking our lips together. His kiss is soft, simple, but it washes away all the doubt that was building inside of me.
The water shifts in soft waves as he pulls away from me, and my attention turns to Riven.
He’s silently swaying from side to side with his head tilted back as he stares at the ceiling.
His hands drift through the thin layer of steam as though he’s playing a beat to whatever is running through his mind.
I’m both shocked and concerned that he hasn’t said anything else.
Creed clears his voice, and I meet the intensity in his stare.
“The other day in the kitchen, when you touched me while I was having my…moment, my soul touched yours for the first time. My feelings seeped deep into that small thread, and what I was going through was strong enough to affect you. That’s why your power came out and destroyed your bathroom.
“Today, you pulled my soul so hard, I couldn’t fight you off.
Our small connection overpowered my ability to stop it and it continued to weave together the whole time we were making our way to you.
I can cast my powers out, but touch brings out a far more potent outcome.
That’s why you see many beings give me a wide berth.
“You cupped my cheeks, asked if I was the God of Death with nothing but acceptance in your tone and touch. Our souls collided. I tried to fight it off, but I lost that battle. My soul has wanted to devour yours since the second it originally attached to my vessel. So I kissed you, knowing it would seal our souls completely or mine was going to do what it’s been desperate to do.
Either way, I couldn’t stop it, so I was going to hold you through whichever way it went. It sealed completely.”
I knew it, but what does that mean for us?
“So it was a heat-of-the-moment thing? You said devour. Does that mean like literally? Your soul wanted to…eat mine?”
He laces his hands together and stares at his whitening knuckles like they’ll give him the right answer.
“That’s an ability of my power. When my soul devours another, it destroys it completely.
All essence erased. That…craving is the sensation I’ve felt from mine toward yours this entire time.
I’ve kept them apart because I didn’t know exactly what would happen if I gave in to my soul’s demand.
Our kiss was a heat-of-the-moment thing, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want it.
I just didn’t know what it would do to you. ”
My breath fans across my wet chest, leaving goose bumps behind that travel across my skin despite the hot water.
He wanted to kiss me. He didn’t want to hurt me.
“I felt our souls completely connect. It was the same sensation I experienced with Kyzen. So your soul isn’t devouring or hurting mine.”
“It’s not going to hurt yours. Ever. Neither will I.”
“It was a heat-of-the-moment kiss, but you wanted it. Do you plan to move forward, fully, in a relationship with her?” Kyzen asks.